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Apr 10, 2014 - 0 comments

I am trying to find a balance on my dam moods it's so hard the go from one scale to the next, now I know it is going to take some time for them to balance out due to how long I took my DOC. It's crazy when you get sober how many issues are still there waiting for you to deal with on top of the issues that need to be dealt with from years of this time my mind is a mental mess!!! I am trying to take baby steps to work it out. Like my Dr. said those emotions have been numb for so long now they are waking up and flooding at me all at once my problem is learning to control them. I am finding that to be the hardest part right now!!! I get so down on myself because I lose control over my emotions and have these emotional outbursts because it's so hard to explain how I'm feeling or better way of putting it I fear to say how I'm feeling what if my feelings are not important?? I know they are I think they are I just don't know how to express them it's really frustrating so I hold them all inside....I have so many things going on in my head that I just want to be able to trust someone as I have been betrayed by everyone I know. So hard to trust people....even now I sit here thinking I have said too much feeling exposed and raw with my emotions out but I know this is good healing to just be able to let my feelings out. I am so thankful for the California sunshine that has been shining lately that is always good brings out the smiles!!!! :)

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