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Oxycontin Hell

Aug 06, 2009 - 4 comments

I have been on Oxycontin and Roxicodone for 9 yrs.I have degenerative disc disease with 3 shot discs..Started at 20 mg and worked my way up to 80mg real fast.I was taking 4 80 a day along with 6  30mg roxicodone a day for the breakthrough pain when I had a morphine pump installed.Was taking that dosage with the pump for a year until the pump got infected and had to come out.I later found out that was a blessing as they have now found all sorts of side effects with having the pump implanted.So anybody out there considering it,do a lot of research.At this time to make up for the morphine that was no longer in my system,they doubled up my Oxy to 8 80mg.a day.Also was taking zoloft and clonipin at this time as well.After 2 yrs I stared to build up a tolerance to both the oxy and roxy and they added Kadian to the mix,which is time released Morphin capsules.Was on this mixture for 2 years and and was chewing the oxi,because I was so addicted at this point that I would immiediately start to go into withdrawal as the dose wore off.I would be at work and the yawning would start first and then the dreaded sweats would kick in,and people would ask if I was ok.I would then chew up a 160 mg,and pop 4 of the roxis just to feel normal,and stop the withdrawal.This past June,my Dr said he wanted to start weaning me off the opiates and gave me a 100mg fetanyl patch and cut my oxis in half to 4 a day.He didnt know by this time I was up to 9-10 a day.Needless to say the 4 a day didnt cut it and I was out of all my meds in less then 2 weeks of a 28 day refill.Called him in a panic as withdrwal was really setting in and the back pain went from a 10 to off the charts.By the time my wife got me to his office I was out of my mind in pain and cravings.He took one look at me and sent me to a detox.I was put on Suboxone and it really helped with the first days of the withdrawal,by day 4 I started to feel human again.I  got out in a week and was feeling ok,still on the suboxone.I really thought the worst was behind me and about a week after I was home I started to get the yawns again.Then the restless leg started and this time even my hands started to shake.I called my Suboxne Dr and she said I was experiencing secondary withdrawal,which effects people who have been on it for a long period and on high levels,she said it could take me 6 months to get my brain and body back to a normal state.The oxy really messes with your brain receptors.I used to read a lot but now I cant even get through a newspaper,I have trouble focusing on anything and at times feel like I have alzheimers because I cant remember things.Along with the body tremors and the shakes and the yawning it really *****.To think I have many months of this is scary,I sometimes think I cant do it but I think of the alternative and that was worse.Crawling around the floor looking for any meds I may have dropped and counting them every 10 minutes to make sure I had enough to get me through to my next refill.My family told me how my whole personality changed on the drugs and at times I wasnt pleasant to be around especially when it was coming close to running out.So I think I can get through it because I have a lot of support from family and friends but couldnt do it alone.I am on Suboxone maintenance and it really does help,so anybody going cold turkey,I wish you luck,but without the Suboxone I know I couldnt do it.Hang in there everyone going through this,know you are not alone!

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Avatar universal
by summer31, Aug 21, 2009
Yikes! I'm sorry to hear you were in so much pain.  I too have back problems.  I have had a cervial fusion and a lamectomy.  These two surgeries were followed by another back surgery with titanium rod implants and a cage.  I thought that would "solve" the back problems but NO I was told I couldn't teach special education any more as I had a 6th grader who was emotionally handicaped throw me against a wall after he decided I was "going to the office to turn him in".  All I was doing was walking down a hallway with a folder in my hands.  So I then switched careers and became the Social Director at a very high end assisted living facility, after all I could surely defend myself from physical harm from the elderly.  Well, after two years at this job which I loved dearly I became, once again, in excruitating pain and low and behold I had to have ANOTHER surgery because 3 discs above the ones which were already fused had herniated.  I was told I didn't abide by the BLT policy. (no, Bending, Lifting, or Twisting).  That is true I helped the elderly in and out of wheelchairs, loaded them on buses, helped them get up and pretty much anything else physical that needed to be done.  I had to leave this position also and had the back surgery to add onto the already existing rods (that was in February of 2009).  I have filed for disability and much to my surprise it went through immediately, everyone I talked to said "you'll never get it, they deny everyone who doesn't have a terminal illness, etc."  As GRATEFUL as I am that I can still contribute to the household, and I am grateful, I also struggle with lack of purpose.  To be taken out of the working world during your high income years is hard to take.  Added to the fact my husband runs his own business out of the house and when I am able to get up and move around I have to walk on eggshells not to disturb him.  It is like living in a nursing home.  My poor daughter is missing so much because of my "condition" as I can't do the normal things with her anymore.  Thank God my mouth still works, brain sometimes and we are extremely close.  I hate the burden this has put on my family.  To go from the energizer bunny to a slug is hard on everyone.  Anyways, enough of my complaining but you can now see why I was on drugs for so long too.  I do not know what Suboxone is, is this something I should ask my doctor about?  Try to enjoy whatever you can for the rest of the day!!  Eileen (Kaitlyn's Mom)

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by whitie, Sep 09, 2009
Its so easy to get caught up in the pain med trap, especially when you have serious pain issues. both wolverine and eileen's story is examples of regular people, that have done nothing but try and deal with constant pain. sometimes its so bad we have no other option,but narcotics. then once the narcotics take hold, one must increase, and as we all know. it turns into a vicious cycle. In the end our pain thresholds are now messed up, and we are now only merely trying to be able to function in life.

There is no doubt, that sub should be used for certain cases and even then we see its a battle still,because of the heavy usage.  Even my own situation probably would have been valid for a sub program, because of my long term opioid use (5 years)and a 1 1/2 years, mixing of methadone on top of it. I was very fortunate, to survive the wd's without it. I still to this day am amazed at how long it took, and I must say every day I have fatigue issues.  I mean it must be pretty bad, if you dont have a normal bowel movement for two months !! through sheer will and agony I have managed to shake that damn 800 pound gorilla off my azz. it certainly is the hardest thing mentally and physically I have ever done.I dont think people have a clue of what its like, unless they have felt it themselves. I still have a tough time explaining it to some of my best friends.

thats what I like about this forum here, we know what its like and can totally relate !!

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by mamaof4angels, Dec 01, 2009
were a family in this vicious cycle!!!!! we need to stick together cuz we know how each other feels thru this hell!!!

Avatar universal
by scrapper44, Dec 26, 2009
I just joined this site cause I have similar stories to those above. I've had chronic pain for about 4yrs now and have been on opiates for that long. 5yrs ago I didn't even know what these drugs were. After a military move with my hubby and daughter I went to a pain clinic for 1 1/2 yrs where I was placed on several types of opiates with the most recent being 100mcgm fetanyl patch along with 60 mg oxy twice daily.  That seemed to be controlling my pain although I pretty much remain sedentary. I had a personality conflict with a new person treating me a few mo.s  ago along with other grievances about the clinic and decided it was time for a new doc. No big deal right?  Boy was I wrong!! I found a new place no problem but he refused to give me pain meds for 3 months because somepaperwork he gotthat looked like I was getting meds from diff drs on the same day which was not the case. So I went to my prim car phys and through the compouter she was able to see that I had only got meds from one plce so she filled my meds in the meantime. Finally my new pain dr got past the mistake in paperwork and decided to take over my meds. That was this month. He took me off the patch and told me he didn't think it was working at all and gave me an anti depressant and an anti inflamatory along with my 60mgs oxy twice daily. Well it took 3 days for me to realize that the patch was working with the oxy and I became in excruciating pain. So I called them right away n had to leave a mess for the dr saying what's wrong. The next day a snotty nurse called me and said he would not put me back on the patch because that was just his policy and if I didn't like it go back to my PCM.  I could not believe that he would not help me. He would not even give 5 min of his time to discuss it. So because I was already in so much pain I doubled my oxy dosage to get some releif. Ya not a good idea but I was desperate at that point. So I saw my PCM almost a week later as I had a follow up with her already. I explained everything to her honestly and she also refused me the patch even though she had given it to me for 3 mo prior. Now this is where thing get really messed up. She is of Indian origin so her english or understanding of it is limited which didn't seem that bad when I had seen her before. So she looks at her compy and says she has no record of what the pain dr presc me even though I told her. So she says she wil give me more oxy But not both oxy and patch which confused me cause she didn't change anything and I knew that I already had been filled two weeks prior which I had told her.   I took it and of  course the pharmacy wouldn't fil it as it was too early.  So I go back to her office and tell the nurse I need to see her and get the patch because of what happened so they say oh yea brung the script of oxy back and she will write one for the patch. So I do and when I go back in there is the huge bouncer looking male nurse who fells me she has declined to give me anything. I'm like are u serious? do you realize what this is going to do to me?? I'm going to run out of meds and be in some horrible pain. He was rude and treating me like I was not there legitimately. So in two more days I'm out of all meds. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. I really don't know what I should do now that I feel like I've been labled. I don't think she will even see me again. Not that I want to but I don't have much choice do I. I'm so stressed out over all this. Any advice anyone???Sorry this is so long I just really need to vent. I wish I had never had to start taking this stuff.  Thanks so much!

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