Aug 15, 2009
im usually fine thoughout the day, as im busy with work and such but by nightfall, I just cant stop thinkng about the fact I may or may not have lung cancer. its only been since june 15th that these 12 noncalcified nodules were found scattered thoughout my lungs, (by accident) BUT EVERY DAY FEELS LIKE YEARS. the agony of not knowing is worse than any pain i have ever experienced, and i happen to have experienced alot of pain....in many different forms. The constant pain from being ejected 5 yrs ago is undying and relentless. It seems every day the aches and pains worsen and my pain meds weaken. At times I feel like giving up, but its just not in me to give up. Im a fighter. Always have been and always will be. I just wonder tho.....how strong do i have to be/ how many tests do i have to go thru? they saay life is a test and god makes us stronger by these tests.......but really, i think god put me on the list for testing and then lost the list. Im sure the list is long by reading this forum, too! What I would give for a day free of pain....and now, a day free of pain and worry.........