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Never Give Up...

Aug 26, 2009 - 13 comments

I have to remind myself daily to keep workin' thru whatever comes my way. I came to this site a few months ago when i knew that i couldn't do certain things by myself. I'm so used to tryin' to work it out before reaching out for help. I'm here for my family everyday, and i get so caught up in their stuff that i don't take care of mine. I came to this site hoping i could sort out the stuff i'm dealing with, so i can be at my best. I don't really like to dwell on the past, but i know alot of the things i deal with is related to it. I need to work thru this, but i've heard you shouldn't dwell on the past. I'm not doing that, i'm just tryin' to work it out...so how do you that? How do you work thru it without going there? I've seen alot of people on this site that have similar situations, and they have worked it out or they're still making progress. I've only been here a couple of months, so i hope to continue to press in, and press on as i continue to work thru this.

I got some good advice from someone (theeagle) when i first came on here. He told me to take it slowly when it comes to meeting people on here. He said that the quality relationships would develop with time. That's true with any relationship...it takes time to really get to know someone. This brings me to a question that i have about putting your business out here. I have to admit that i'm totally new to this...i've never liked chat rooms, so i don't go there. This is the first forum that i've really been on. It took something that really interested me to want to get involved. I know there are people that have been here a long time.

I want to think that this place is different and people really do care...they don't discuss or put people down in private conversations. Then i have to ask myself why i'm even concerned about it...cause for the most part there are some awesome people on here. I am taking my time, and tryin' not to get my feelings hurt in the process. I know that everyone is basically here for the same reasons...to heal or to work thru something. I know this is MedHelp and not ClubMed...it's an inclusive place, not exclusive...depending on who you're dealing with. Sorry if i've offended anyone, but this is just an observation. I had to get this out, for my own peace of mind cause i'm gonna continue on here, even if i do just end up talkin' to myself. Well, i guess this will either isolate me on here, or it will help someone. I'm not here just for me, i am here to help too...if i can. I would like the chance to do both.
  

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460185 tn?1326077772
by lonewolf07, Aug 26, 2009
That was good advice theeagle gave you.  I've often said things without thinking and it's done some damage.  Your post doesn't seem offensive.  Just like the "outside world" there are going to be people you get along with better than others, people who gossip, people who care, etc.  I don't think anyone wants to get their feelings hurt.



Avatar universal
by boldsojah4christ, Aug 26, 2009
Amen good post! Yeah it's going 2 take some time 2 get 2 know people here! Some people you will connect with real quickly! While with others it might take some time! Either way just like you said ur not here looking 4 trouble only 2 help & be helped! & with that thought process you will go along ways! Some people will agree with you! Some won't! Some will be in between! But other than that there are a lot of good people here! & I've been here since 07! God bless Shannon:

926462 tn?1284819011
by pegatha1981, Aug 26, 2009
I know that there are some awesome people on here. I have met some along the way. I don't expect to get along with, or agree with everyone. However, i will show respect to the people i do meet, and i will show compassion for what they are going thru. I would hope for the same. I don't like drama, don't want any, and don't wanna cause any. I don't want to lose sight of the reason i came here in the first place, i don't want to give up and walk away. I do want help, and i do want to help others. I'm not going to let isolated incidents get in my way. I know that just because you come here seeking help, doesn't put you in a protective coccoon. There are still going to be people that are indifferent or insensitive to you, maybe that's just who they are, or how they come across, and it has nothing to do with you. This is not a popularity contest, there are people here fighting for their lives. I just want what's real, and i'd like to continue to work thru my stuff with people who care. I would like the opportunity to give back. I'm a work in progress and i haven't arrived yet. I'm not where i want to be, but thank God i'm not where i used to be.

Avatar universal
by boldsojah4christ, Aug 26, 2009
Amen Sis you speak from the heart! You sound genuine! I would 2 chat more with you! There are a lot of people that practice love here! & really care about people & their feelings! & you said it right ur not looking 4 any popularity contest here! I myself am a Christian that speaks the truth! So one can imagine I won't be in any popularity contest either! But I do have Christians that support me & I support them as well! But @ the same time we respect everyones else beliefs & oppinions here as well! God bless bs4c:

Avatar universal
by teko, Aug 26, 2009
Everyone on this site is a work in progress in one form or another. Some may have the same issues as you and can relate to where yu are coming from. Others, may not understand from your point of view because maybe they did not experience the same issues but are here dealing with some of their own. You meet people, and you take what helps to heart and you simply leave the rest and maybe someone else reading months down the road will benifit from the rest of it. But you must remember that this is an open forum with lots of different people with different issues and you will probably run across some answers or posts that offend you. You must have broad shoulders and not let it get to you. Then others will help volumes. You cannot pic and choose, you get the whole ballgame. If you cannot handle that then you might want to watch what ya put out there. With that said, theyre are a whole lot of genuine people here and I hope you find what you need.  Oh and some of us just come and post on sights like MH Social, which is the social forum for fun! Sometime when ya dont wanna deal with all the ****, go there and join in. I think you will like it.

926462 tn?1284819011
by pegatha1981, Aug 26, 2009
MH Social is where i usually post, For Fun!  Just cause i'm not on there most of the day or evening, that's where i usually go when i get a chance. I have participated...maybe they need a "Social:Social Forum" for all the really fun stuff cause some of it don't look like too much fun. I'm all for havin' a good time tho while i'm here. Thanks for informing me about this being an "open" forum, with lots of different people, there's many forums, and International ones too. I have an open mind and an open heart! I've seen alot of people on here dealing with everything from the devastating to everyday stuff. I haven't said one thing about any of it being offensive to me. However, people with superior attitudes are. I don't need to watch what i put out there cause it usually isn't very much...if i couldn't handle it, i guess i wouldn't put it out there. I do take what helps to heart, and there's been alot of stuff that has helped me. I don't think this should be all that complicated...i came here with a purpose, and if i can meet some genuine people in the process then that's great too. I'm just tryin' to find my way here. Thanks for the info.

711224 tn?1344771687
by SophieShine, Aug 27, 2009
Hi Peg!
You are already helping, what would I do without my mornings laughs???
You are a genuine caring person, full of empathy, generosity and with a serious sense of humor, but I so totally understand what you are talking about. Let time do its work and you'll find genuine caring persons like you. What Teko said is so true, if some disagree with you or are offensive, let it slide, After all, this is internet and you can't escape from the loopy ones!!! lol. Let ppl come to you and reach out for help as well. It all comes naturally and you'll build up some pretty strong friendship, like we all did and still do.
I truly hope you can find your way and stick around, it is worth it, YOU are worth it.
With love and care.
xoxoxo. sophie.

926462 tn?1284819011
by pegatha1981, Aug 27, 2009
I'll be patient and hope others are with me as well. I'm sorry if it seems like i have a chip on these broad shoulders...maybe i do kinda, because i HAVE been on the Social forum for 3 months and i have participated in them! That's my whole purpose for writing this...it's like i wasn't there or even ignored at times. People are talkin' to each other and it kinda feels weird when it just seems like what's the use...or what have i done. I took it personally and now i feel like a total "wah baby" for saying anything... for being so vulnerable and misunderstood. Now i'm gonna feel strange if i do get on, cause it's like out there now. By the way, i didn't see any "fun topics" in there tonite, they looked pretty serious. When i mentioned a "Social:Social" forum, i wasn't tryin' to be a smart a$$, i really think they should.
Teko, i will agree that there might be a couple of things that i might have given more thought to before posting, but it's done and i've learned that now. What were you guys like in 2007-2008, when you first came to this site. What was your first couple of months like...well that's where i'm at now. Well, have i sufficiently made a total a$$ outa myself yet...if not, i'm sure i will eventually. I can laugh at myself though...don't know if anyone else can, except for Sophie :o)

Avatar universal
by 10356, Aug 27, 2009
Hi Pegatha... You do not sound like a *** to me lol You sounds like how a lot of us I believe feel when we join this forum and have a real interest in it and it members..  I do not yet participate in the social forum as a rule but I do read.. I do post more in our social I'm active usually in the addiction forum and on journals I run across.. It took me a long time to simulate into the forum and feel comfortable.. I'm sure it's different for many.. I used the name Limbo when I first came.. that should explain it's self lol. I love this site actually I have made a few really good friends whom I care for and think of everyday. It is also is a place I have found most people to be respectful for each other but we are human tempers flare feelings get hurt as in the real world.. stick with being honest with yourself respectful and kind like you have been and all I see is a chance at another Human to find a lil more of themselves friendships and support along the way.. Have fun with it and get down.. It is Fun to make Sophie spill her Mud lol Welcome :) lesa
I

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by boldsojah4christ, Aug 27, 2009
Well peg when i 1st came in 07! There where not 2 many people on here really!! Not like it is now! I came here 4 back problems i got some feed back but not much! & as time went on God started 2 use me in other areas on here! As far as talking about him & being positive! Not 2 many people where interested in that some where but the majority told me 2 go 2 a religious forum & post there! But i never gave up i kept on God told me not 2 get down about it 4 it will pay off!! & look glory b2 God more & more christians are coming 2 this site with & open faith! So sis never give up! & There are some genuine people here 2 help you!!

Avatar universal
by 122 Tactical Fighter Group, Aug 27, 2009
Yes Peg - - I even remember that advice that I gave you......and I am glad to see that you are following it. People have called me all kinds of things.....including a "person that just talks to hear his own voice"   Not the reason that many of us are here. I have personally been to hell and back a half dozen different ways - from Vietnam and losing many friends to my sons death ..And even shoot outs with Mexican Bandido's in the Sonoran Desert..... This little addiction thing has not been the toughest thing that I have ever done. Many others here feel that it has been the toughest thing that they might have done......and it is no walk in the park - I will certainly give it that - but plenty of people have done it. It doesnt take a Superman to get it done. Glad to see that you are still around and feel like contributing..........thats a good thing. Dont even let the negatives take up any brain space. You have as much right to be here as anyone in the world.  Keep up th humor also!

926462 tn?1284819011
by pegatha1981, Aug 27, 2009
Thanks Eagle, for backing me up on this...i'm glad you remembered the conversation, and i'm glad you don't mind me quoting you. I guess for a person that "likes to hear his own voice"...well, that'll show 'em! That was some good advice...and as you can see, i didn't forget it. You are so right about this just being a little blip on life's radar screen...for some that is. There are worse things that some of us go thru, so in comparison maybe it's not the most difficult thing we'll go thru...but it's a challenge of it's own. Sounds like you've been thru some pretty intense stuff! Yes i'm still around, i'm not gonna let any petty stuff make me lose site of why i'm here in the first place. I hope i can bring some humor...we can all use that. By the way, i hope you keep on talkin', cause i like what you've got to say...keep the good advice coming!

Avatar universal
by boldsojah4christ, Aug 27, 2009
Amen! Eagle is a good person I remember awhile back we bumped heads a couple of times! But somewhere down the line God linked us up & we have been good friends ever since!! & like he said you have just S much right 2b here just like anyone else! Glad you chose 2 stay!!! Bs4c:

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