Aug 13, 2014
I am just writing here real quick because I have no real journal and I need to get this out. I am having a really terrible week. Like awful. I am still bleeding like a faucet and the cramping is unreal. The butcher knives are working over time. I have a terrible hormone headache that will not go away no matter what and I haven't slept more than an hour a night for the past week.
This morning Andrew found me bawling my eyes out on the couch at 7 am. He wanted to take me to the hospital. But I said no I can't I've got tech rehearsal today. Which i do. In an hour. And I still haven't got in the shower because my head hurts and I'm so dizzy every time I stand up that I feel like I'm gonna puke or pass out or both.
This would all be so much better if I could just sleep.
I can't sleep.
It makes me very emotional when I don't sleep and then combined with the hormone flux it's like WOAH lock Lu up for a week and throw away the key.
I hate this.
I need to take a break from the forum because I am taking things personally when obviously they are not. I don't think I can be of any help to anyone because I don't even know how to help myself right now.
I am questioning my sanity...Well definitely my ability to be rational.
Anyways- if you don't hear from me for awhile it's not because I don't love you all, or that I'm dead or anything like that....I just need a break.
I love you and thank you all for your continued support.
I'll check in when I have something more to give.
But now I'm just empty and I need to save myself before I go over the deep end.