Aug 31, 2009
Tommorrow it will be one week since I had my second look surgery and the placement of my IP port. IVIP chemo starts on the 9th. I am trying so hard to stay positive and focused that this is my decision for the long term benefit of a long remission but I am so scared.
My son is counting down the days to his 12th birthday (the 15th) but I know that by the time that day comes I will be sick from the chemo and out of it. The second look surgery has left me sore and bloated..My anxiety has started in so much that my appitite is already gone and I haven't even started chemo yet..I'm not feeling sorry for myself what is this is...and I know it is a fraction of the pain I'll get with the ipiv. I need the strength and calm to know I am doing this so I can have a life with my children and be with them for many years to come. I want to be strong and enjoy every moment I can yet anticipating and fearing the future I am robbing myself of the present.