Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room #62 - EmilyPost's Journal

First on new thread,its 6:44 on a tuesday morning in england,had a bad day yesterday,I always feel better in the morning,by afternoon I feel crap,at least my psychiatrist and doctor do understand the aweful withdrawalfoff this poison x

I should add my new doctors practice

Oh dear blockhead123 this really is a terrible drug. What does a bad day entail for you? Physical or mentally I suppose they impact on each other but which comes first? So hope you have a better day today. I will be on here most of the day so may talk soon if you want to. Much love and strength Sx

Just need to write this as it helps. For the past 6 days this site is the first thing I think of doing when I wake up from whatever sleep I might have had. This is my day 12 and I gave in to a zopiclone in the night as the RLS came back+++ Got to sleep but the RL broke through and that has put me on a downer. Sat at my little pedal machine for relief and did get to sleep afterwards. So have had some sleep which is good but I have been up for 1/2 hour and noticed the tingling in my arms and feel a little shaky. On a downer and irritable, so hope that goes soon. I think I could get obsessed with this help room. It seems to make you feel normal. My beautiful grandson has a few issues of his own and I need to get back to being a good grandmother for him and not somewhere in Tram world. My partner has been great but she will only be able to take so much of the back of my head as I sit at this PC hour on end. Am I doing ok for day 12? Why RLS back and still so bad? Don't want to come to rely on sleepers so can't wait for tonight without one and the long hours in misery!! When will I sleep ok? Need my head to be clear and maybe if it was I could relax and sleep?? Feel like a self pitying whimp as I read this back but that is what I seem to be turning into. I am so admiring of all of you out there who are dealing with this and your own w/ds a lot of which are far more full on than mine.
So hope you are having a better day blockhead123 let us know x
Much love to all and strength for whatever you are dealing with. Sx

Have been up a couple of hours now and my body feels like it can't keep still, headache and no appetite, hot then cold very anxious and irritable.A successful trip to the loo might help! On day 12 but back to same as day 4 symptoms so am wondering if taking the 7.5mg Zopiclone last night has affected my recovery. Don't have the energy to take my grandson swimming but need to do that. Have a full packet of Tram in the cupboard.................

Have bourght 5htp as have read somewhere over the last week this helps with w/ds. Is this right? Is it addictive? Should it stop the RLS Please help. Trams still in cupboard.........Love Sx

Alnan

Give your partner your packet of tramadol.  You are at a vulnerable time, tram is out of your body and you are dealing with post acute withdrawal systems.  If I had tram in the house when I was less than a month off the drug I would be very tempted to take one.  The problem is one tram leads into addiction again.  Our brain wants the drug and we need to continue the fight to stay off.  I promise you it gets better.

Has your partner read any of these posts?  If not, it might be a good idea as she would understand what you are going thru.  I've read withdrawing from tramadol is worse than heroin.  I barely socialized my first month off tram.  I didn't have the energy, nor desire.  The only thing I made myself do was walk 15 to 30 minutes a day, and I felt a little better.  My husband read many posts and he was very surprised to read the PAWS most of us go thru.  He was way more understanding agree reading these posts and doing some research of the addiction.

5-HTP is suppose to give you more energy and suppress your appetite.

Keep posting  we are all here for you.
Stay strong!

5-HTP is not addictive.

Also, you are doing very well at day 12. What keeps me off tram is that I could never go thru withdrawal again. You have made it thru the physical withdrawal, and drug is out of your system, that is a huge accomplishment. Your brain/body is now recovering without tramadol which you were dependent on for 7 months. It will take time, how long I don't know sweetie. Please hang in there.

A bad day is no energy,bad pains in my back and a ringing in my ears,anxiety bad it does my head in,alnan dont go back on them you've got this far,you've only been on them 7 months,they will make you worse the longer you take them

I know blockhead123 that I would get so much worse if I go back and continue and I really do not know how you all out there have been so strong in the face of this God awful stuff. I see you are in pain and I hope you are not tempted back to Tram world?? If you are what can a newbie like me say to help you. You did this for your darling girl as when I saw my grandson yesterday he gave me the power not to get the tabs back into me. Please Please Please be as strong as you can be Blockhead123 as I have read these things will pass and you will be well. I promise I will be thinking of you all day and holding on for you. Much love Sx

Thank you meganann123 Unbeknown to me my partner removed the pills from the cupboard after she had read some of this forum. Wise woman. Had a better night last night.Perhaps it was the 5htp, the herbal sleepers, the red wine don't know. The RLS broke through but was able to get back to sleep eventually so had about 3 hrs .Back ache (which is a long standing prob but 'controlled' by Tram!!) has come back with vengeance but would rather have that than the poison. Today is my day 13, am taking it as it comes with all my thanks to you and blockhead 123 for getting me this far. Much love to you both Sx

Hello blockhead123 how are you? Sx

^ your sleeping should get better every night. I agree with blockhead, you dont want to go backwards at this point, and start all over again. Tramadol is not the answer, and will trick you into feeling better, then you are hooked, and forced to go thru that terrible withdrawal again. You are on the road to recovery. Hopefully your partner will continue to read these posts and understand that healing takes time, and you have to be patient as your brain and body are recovering from the absence of tram. I wish it was a faster process, but unfortunately it's not. Before you know it you will be one month clean ! Also it's fun to show your recovery ticker, that also makes me feel better.

Im ok it will he 12 weeks tomorrow,it hasn't been easy but it will be worth it,never thought id make it this far but I have,still have bad days but there getting less,thank you god for getting me this far x

Where are are blockhead? Would be good to hear from you to know how you are and for a chat.

Thank you for your post Meganann, what has happened to this forum?? I could become paranoid and think it is me keeping everyone away. No sleep until 4am this morning and really p***d off. Have taken the packet of pills I had left back to chemist and all stray ones disposed of. I am so angry as I am tired and almost 2 weeks is too long to be without a good nights sleep. RLS is not keeping me awake but the sensation in my legs that feels like a pre cursor to RLS that never quite gets full blown then agitates me all over my body enough to keep me awake!! Weird. I keep feeling that I am making too much of this as you and blockhead are right and my use of Tram was comparatively small (300mg daily) and only for 7 months but if I could sleep I'm sure I would feel better.
Hope you are ok, please let me know, 169 days is awesome. Would like to hear from blockhead if only for an update on how he is. Will post ticker. Thank you for your responses sitting here alone would be a real bummer.

That was where ARE you blockhead?? Sx

Meganann I have a lot of long term family probs that don't get resolved and worry the hell out of me so could be that without the Tram these probs are more intense and all on their own making me agitated. Time will do naff all for that!! Perhaps I am just bonkers!! Much love to you Sx

Blockhead are you at work? Thinking of you and would love to hear from you soon Sxx

Freaking out waiting for another night with the Ebee - jeebees. Have been for a long walk as every day, taken herbal calming stuff, no caffeine, hot Epsom Salts baths lots of tonic water (Quinine) etc etc Body tired but restless, head all over the place and I know this will get worse as the evening and night drags on. I've discounted the theory that I am bonkers and am now assuming this must be PAWS as I am on day 13/14?? Is that a reasonable time frame to start PAWS?? I'm pretty useless at assessing this nightmare!
Concerned for you blockhead please post something with update. Looking to you Meganann Love to both Sx

Yes, PAWS for sure. Sleepless nights was horrible for me too. Sleepy time tea helps some. I feel your pain Alnan, as it felt like yesterday when I didn't sleep, at least a week maybe more. I'm your age, but went thru menopause at 49, and wear a hormone patch so I don't get hot flashes. If you get really desperate I'm sure your doctor might give you a small dose of sleep aid. My husband had Xanax on hand and he gave me 1 ( .50 mg ), a night for 3 nights which REALLY helped. He gave me more ( about once a week ) for two months, and I've been off it for four months. Xanax is highly addictive, however I was on a very low dose for a short period of time and my hubby doled out the pill. I didn't has access to them luckily. Hang in there sweetie !!!!!!!!!!

Ive just had worse night for ages,sweating tossing and turning,wish id never took this crap !!!!

Hello Blockhead so sorry you are having such a hard time, does your GP offer you any help??? This new page has not got your info on it. Know you have been off for over 3months but do you have many better days than others? It was good to hear from you, I have been checking this site constantly for you.
Hi Meganann I think I would sleep if it wasn't for the restless legs and body (like flesh is buzzing). Begins at around 9 in the evening and gradually builds up. I took a Zopiclone sleeper in the early hours and as I was so exhausted it knocked me out. This is ok but the prob is that if I take the Zop the restless and body is still here in the morning and I have a hangover from the Zop so no relief all day!! I am lucky I don't have other PAWS very badly but soooo scared the RLS is permanent, that would drive me really bonkers. GP no help as suggested I take a TRAMODOL to relieve it!! What kept you awake all those nights was it RLS, anxiety, rebound energy........?? .6months for you is so great well done.
Well it seems we are the only 3 people on this site at the moment, wonder why?? Would have thought with the new ledislation re Tram it would be manic. Love to you both SX

^ I had hallucinations early on.....day 4 to day 7 at night. I was hearing sounds when I was tiring to sleep that hubby didn't hear. I tossed and turned throughout many nights and never thought I would ever sleep again. I didn't have RLS that bad, my biggest issue was I couldn't fall asleep at night, my brain was wide awake and wouldn't shut down, plus tons of anxiety. I was all alone awake, and so frustrated. I had bad headaches when I woke up in the morning and throughout the day. Also I wanted to take a tram every morning mainly because it was a habit, so I took a Tylenol instead. I felt the worse in the mornings, and by afternoon felt a little better. I would say by week 3, I was sleeping better. I remember being tired at night, but I couldn't fall asleep, thus I was even more tired in the morning and always in a bad mood. I didn't socialize until I was at least one month out, as I never felt well enough and didn't have the energy to be happy and social around others. My husband had a hard time understanding what I was going thru, and thought I would be back to normal when the drug was out of my body.....but no PAWS hit me hard. I don't want to scare you, however I really don't think I'll be back to normal for a year. I'm 80 to 90 % better! still have anxiety! however my energy is pretty much back. The reason I say 1 year is because of prior posts I've read all have said how BETTER they feel after one year than they did prior to taking tramadol. This forum sometimes gets really quiet, then all of a sudden is busy. Hang in there.

Blimey hallucinations must have been weird!! I know what you mean about body tired and head no way ready to shut down. I took 750mg Methocarbamol (muscle relaxant) last night as have some left from back pain treatment. 1 HOUR after taking I felt the buzzy feeling go and my head less wired!! Got to sleep at about 4am but have sleep for 7 hours straight so hope this med is going to help me over the next few days and that I can stop it without any trouble. This Tram poison experience makes me question anything I take at all!! At 80 - 90% you are doing so well and I do thank you for helping me even though this especially as you perhaps don't need this site so much any more.Love Sx

How you doing blockhead?? Sx

I'll chime in here even though I am still not off the tramadol.  I took 25 mgs. this morning (1/2 a tablet) and because it is the weekend, I don't plan to take any more today.
I was on tramadol for 10+ years and, the majority of days, about 20 pills (1000 mgs.) a day.  So I qualify as a heavy long-term user.  Started tapering in July this year, got to ZERO on 9/11, then went back up to a maintenance pill a day because I was having the "atypical" withdrawal symptoms of brain zaps.  I decided to maintain at a low daily dose (50 - 87.5 mgs) a day until I get another full week off from work.
I too continue to wake up most - not all- nights with RLS.  I have taken 150 - 200 mg gabapentin occasionally to get rid of it and go back to sleep.
And I am at the age (52) where I have not gone through menopause yet but did skip a few months back in March- April and had my first hot flashes during those months.  Hot flashes went away over the summer when my periods returned.  Now the "joke" is, when I start sweating and feeling hot during the day, which I have every single day for the past week, is it withdrawal?  Or is it menopause?  And no period in September yet, it is due about now.
If you would have told me a year ago that I would go to 1/10th my normal daily tramadol consumption by by 52nd birthday, I would have said it would take a miracle.  But somehow this time, it was the right time to do it.  (on line purchases at my usual pharmacies were discontinued as of 8/18/14 because of the DEA ruling, and I was not about to go begging at drs. office for this drug.  That helped give me to motivation to just taper down to only 1 a day.)

Hello Indigolris, well done you and only one tab to go. I am 68 and long past all the things that come with menopause, however hot sweats most days since coming off this awful drug (14/15 for me. Cold turkey which I now think was a huge mistake!) You may have read my earlier posts and seen my main concerns so far are restless legs and lack of sleep. Tried Methcarbomal last night as needed to sleep but have noticed over the last couple of days that the intense crawling can't keep still legs have morphed into tingling all over accompanied by sharp pains in my right foot and leg. Sleeping problems and lack of energy have have possibly turned me into a raging hypochondriac now as I am worried I have something really wrong with my health that was masked by the Tramodol. Have taken Methcarbomal 750mg x twice today but the feelings breakthrough after 4 hours any advice from anywhere would be so welcome.
Once again well done with your reductions hope all keeps well for you. Love Sx

hello all....and wishing all on here continued success and better health. I am brand new here. Reading each of your threads is heartbreaking and enlightening at the same time. I too am struggling horribly at this time with dreaded Tramadol. I need all the help possible. Considering medical detox if I can get into one. I am un insured though. Long story short, Clean and sober Jan 1991> Much success.... technically should have been celebrating 23 years last year.... however, car accident in Aug 1994 , led to (mild?) pain meds in 1999. Been on Ultram since 1999.  I refused stronger meds for fear of relapse (H was my DOC) ,so I took 1 a day, 2 a day 3....4 , then Vicoden on top 2-3 a day,well you get the picture. Last November I ruptured (my 3rd disc,in 7 yrs) No health ins. Low income job, missed a lot of work, entering the poverty zone quickly. I was at time on 10-12, 50mg trams  a day along with 2-3, 750mg Vicodens. Took a few months to heal and went back to work, only with an embarrassing shameful pill habit. Now im (gratefully laid off to get healthy) and panicking. I was put on suboxone in December....and knew NOTHING about this drug till I took it....UGH!  new DR. HAD ME on WAY too much (8-16 mg).... I stopped after 4 weeks ....went back to what I knew. TRams and Vics....since then, on off on off about 6,7 times, and im LOSING my mind... was down to 2 a day, maybe 3....and break a vicoden in half, just to rid of the 'depression. Ive learned a lot about the serotonin issues of ultram now...and I am definitely a victum of its evil doings. Never felt high from this drug, yet was always able to function normally.... now? classified IV drug and cant afford it, nor obtain the way I used too. (via internet)
      I know im blabbing here, but that's my brief -but not unique ,story....
    I have gotten to 3, and 4 days with out a few times with help of clonodine. I screw up the slow taper time after time. Feelings of shame , guilt and fear. I want to know if my depression will last longer because I was on it for so long? The restless legs are TORTURE!!!! How long does THAT last???? 2 days ago I saw the dr who put me on Sub, and he prescribed Prozac for the depression. My regular pain management dr cut me off from opiates( a good thing ) because I was honest with him and told him I tried to detox with  THE suboxone...( another med the scares the s""t out of me.
Any suggestions or advice ,from experience would be greatly appreciated.... most of all, tonight I realized...I am NOT alone. I have many friends in 'the rooms' however...not many with experience of tramadol.  God Bless and Thank you from the bottom of my heart... Peace.. Johnny5
I will check back daily... and thank you again for your support!

OncecleanNserene,

Welcome! I will comment on the subcoxone. I went to a detox center and doctor put me on subcoxone and I threw up for 3 days straight. I thought I was going to die, couldn't stop. Turns out I'm allergic to med, and many other people are. I was on a high dosage of tramadol too, up to 800 mgs for 5 years. I popped them like candy. In my opinion the first couple of weeks are horrible, however if you can hang in there it slowly gets better. Insomnia is rough, anxiety, RLS, lack of energy ( bad), brain zaps and also the habit of taking pills. Depression kicks in too, and I didn't think I had a depression problem. Doctor had me take prozac too ( 10 mgs ), that helped my mood, gained weight though and only stayed on it for 2 months. Prozac also helps with anxiety. I'm also concerned about getting addicted to another drug.

Hi Alnan,
I still need this site as I'm still healing my body and mind, and hope to help and encourage others along their journey. I was you 5 months or so ago. I feel your pain. Fight this with everything you have as there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm happy to hear you got some sleep. I don't think muscle relaxants are addictive, however I don't know much about them.

OncecleanNserene So pleased you have found this site, have you read previous pages ?? as there will be many people akin to your predicament and you will find so much comfort in knowing their experiences. I have spent HOURS and HOURS reading them when I have been at my wits end. Restless legs are as you say torture and the inability to sleep is beyond cruel, for me made worse by fact that no matter how tired I am during the day (try to stay awake in the hope of sleep at night) my brain physically wakes up at about 10.00 in the evening. This is my day 16/17 after 7 months on 300mg a day of Tram and I went c/t. I have found Methcarbomal (muscle relaxant) helps a bit with legs. The extreme' can't keep still' went after about 3/4 days but have tingles +++ and sharp pains in right foot and lower leg now. Like you I am looking for a time frame but it seems we all react in different ways, please lose the guilt and shame absolutely unnecessary, no point, a waste of energy. Try to be positive and know that you can do this as has been demonstrated by so many other posts, it is very hard but everyone says how worth the fight is. Read as many posts as you can, write it all down on here, try to be as strong as you can be, we can do this. Love to you Sx

Hi Meganann I had realized you still contribute on this site to help others like me and OncecleanNserene as well as for your continued recovery, I hope to do the same when this nightmare is over. Sx Another bad night for me 2hrs fitful sleep after wide awake until 4.00 am legs tingling and painful, too tired to function today.

How are things blockhead??
Much love to all and strength for whatever you are dealing with.Sx

12.30 pm UK time. Just had hot bath for something to do. Legs ok at this point of the day but dog tired and trying to stay awake in the hope of crashing tonight. Brain feels like cotton wool and have small twitches in my limbs, writing this state of affairs in case it helps anyone else identify with them. Lots of anxiety but hopefully this is due to fatigue not PAWS and it will go when less tired!! Don't know where my partner gets the patience to put up with me, seems like this has gone on so long and on top of all the family problems we have been dealing with for 10 years surprised I am not living on my own. Hope all as ok as possible with you all, back to TV for me and a walk later. Sx

Alnan & Meganann123,
I am speechless and grateful for your responses and posts. I need you all in the coming weeks . I am currently on 2 a day .. Off the suboxone 4 days , so in next few days I am going to stop again . I know what's coming . Frustrated and scared but am hoping I'm equipped this time for success. The discovery of this page , all of you and an arsenal of supplements , Prozac ,a couple Xanax and few muscle relaxers. ... I pray will be enough. I too have a girlfriend here who has been patient yet I see her anger at times as she thinks it's should be over and done in just a few days . Not so as we know and I wonder too how I am not homeless , as it has affected out relationship a lot . I thank you for your help . I plan on doing little food shopping and watching tv as well . Wishing all a calm mind and pain free day !

^ You sound like you are well prepared to come off tramadol. I don't know if you work or not, but you will need to take some time off work if you can. Insomnia and being lethargic most of the time were my worse side effects coming off tram. Tramadol gave me energy, so when I stopped I hit bottom pretty quickly. I am so happy not to be addicted anymore. It's probably my biggest accomplishment in my life...finally free.
Good luck to you oncecleanNserene, we are all here for you.

I second that Meganann.

OncecleanNserene ask your girlfriend to read these posts and other pages. It must be difficult to understand how you are feeling and I sympathise with her. You will need her in the coming days and she will need you to be well.If she gets an overview of other peoples experiences it may help her. Hot Epsom Salts baths, Real Tonic Water (for Quinine) and other lotions and potions you have mentioned will help . Good luck hang on in there x to you and your girlfriend.

4.30pm UK time and have managed to stay awake. Pins and needles tingling/pain in right leg has started!! Utter c**p. If anyone out there can tell me if they have had these leg outbursts after 17 days PLEASE PLEASE let me know, really scared they are permanent. About to take a muscle relaxant but don't want to rely on something else. Love Sx

Got to say had a good weekend,the good days are starting to outweigh the bad days,I think im starting to get my life back slowly,didn't think I would ever say that,I know ive still got a long way to go,hope you all feel start to feel better soon x

Fantastic to hear that, really fantastic, well done you. Sxx

Well I feel like S**t. Stayed awake all of yesterday but still couldn't get to sleep until the early (3.00) hours again last night. Both legs tingling and painful brain wide awake and alert. What in God's name is that all about, WHY are the nights so bad and the days relatively ok???? My bed has turned into my enemy and my computer into my best friend, day 18 when do I get my life back?? Sx

I can't tell you how bad I felt for a few months,I hated everything and everyone,nights were the worst for me,I thought I was losing my mind,but slowly VERY slowly things are starting to get better,someone said to me thing of it as having major surgery it takes time to heal,hope you start to feel it soon,your doing rearly well,you will get there x

Think of having major surgery not thing

Hi blockhead did you have RLS, pain in limbs and insomnia?? If you did for how long?? Could sleep like in a coma during the day but brain and body all rev up about 9/10 in the evening. Can deal with other things (at the moment not too bad) but the B***y legs and the long nights are just too much. Supposed to be going on holiday in 2 weeks and need my partner to have this break but with this there is little chance I will go as couldn't be cooped up in a strange place.
So pleased you are on the up. Sx

Hi all!

Just checking in with you.  I see that some of you are in that awful period of brain adjustment.  It really is your whole brain having to relearn everything.  We all numbed our pain receptors so much that they didn't have to do much work any more.  So, when we quit this drug, everything wakes up and the body isn't sure how to regulate anything... whether it's neurotransmitters or body temperature... or sleep patterns.  This re-regulation does not take place overnight or just when the drug leaves your system.  There is such a huge transition that happens.  It's horrible but we have to accept this fact and just allow our bodies to heal.  Think about someone with an moderate or severe injury.. broken leg, stroke etc... it takes time and therapy... and within that process there are good and bad days.  Just ride it out and let the body do its thing.  It has to and there is no fast track to make this process to go away. About the guilt and shame, it's normal to feel this way.  Don't beat yourself up too much.  We are humans.  None is perfect.  We are not alone. Many have suffered this and a lot of us didn't know better.  Our Drs said it was safe and kept giving it to us.  When that no longer panned out, we had to go elsewhere because we had already become dependent on it.  It's not all our fault.  Again, we are human.  everyone has their issues.  life is a  learning process.  We learn from mistakes.

On a more positive not, I had another successful outing story.  I survived another stressful family gathering and actually had a good time.  I hardly ever attended the big family things in my tram days or early withdrawal.  I just couldn't handle it.

I went out of town this time to my grandmas 90th birthday.  rode with my mom on a 3 hour drive.  I hate riding on the freeways.  This time we went through a bad rainstorm and I think my mom freaked out more than I did.  I felt nervous, but did not have the full-blown panic attack I usually do.  The traffic on the way back was bad too.  Hated it but didn't freak out.

I had to share a hotel room with my mom and aunt and it was honestly hard to sleep from my mom's snoring.  But, I survived the days, tired as heck, but without panic attacks.  They drug me all over the place... crowded places.. loud places.  I made it.  I did have my earplugs though and it helped.  I have had hypersensitive hearing since even before tramadol.  Noise makes me anxious!  I do recommend earplugs during withdrawal too.  Get some.  It keeps extra stimulation to a minimum. During withdrawal I felt like I could feel noise hurting my skin.  I also use a face mask to sleep.

I cannot believe the amount of endurance I had this weekend!  There were many moments I felt like a completely normal human dealing with stressors.  I was tired and did not have more than 4 or 5 hours each night of sleep... but I didn't have a freaking meltdown like I used to.  My body is getting better at dealing with stress.  A year ago at this time, I had a similar family function and it was horrible!  My body was all freaked out.  I thought I was going to die from all the stimulation and withdrawal pain.  I remember getting a shot of tequila at a restaurant during the family lunch just because my nervous system was so overloaded!  My body had this really weird electrical feeling buzzing through it... almost like I had wetness on my skin and was touching one of those plasma lightning globe lamps you see at the novelty stores.  That would make my anxiety soar!

But this time was fine!  Very, very cool!

Healing happens!

Hello Allinblack, what a great post 'normal' life going on for you how good is that.

I was taking Tram 300mg daily for 7 months and as prescribed by surgeon thought it was fairly innocuous!! Stopped c/t and have not craved it or how it made me feel but the RLS and insomnia are sooo hard. I remember reading your posts from 2013/4 and think you were taking for 10 years?? am hoping 7 months will have a bearing on how long before I can feel as good as you..............here's hoping. So good to read your latest post. Love to all Sx

I second that Alnan. Great post Alinblack, and unfortunately healing takes time. I have a friend who went thru AA, and I thought after she detoxed she would be back to her old self. She went thru hell, different type of PAWS, however insomnia and lack of energy were at the top of her list. She said at 6 months she hit a wonderful breakthrough and at 1 year she was feeling 110%. I now get her, before i didn't and apologized for being insensitive, but now I know the truth and how long it takes to heal.
I hope you are able to sleep better tonight Alnan.

I didn't have the RLS but the insomnia and anxiety was terrible,I had crawling under the skin for a good month it was a *****,im still having the brain zaps but not as bad as the first couple of months

It is 430 am on east coast and all I can say is ..... God Help Us All . I've been reading every post on here ...room 60,61& All on here ! And I don't know what I feel right now . I wish I found this forum sooner . Is what it is ... Last day of tram was yesterday . And so starts my journey ! After 500 -600 mg a day for last 6-7 years , an innocent medication given to me by pain management back in 1999 ... I pray for the strength to do this . I'm already exhausted . After 31 yrs of installing carpet , I know there is no way I can return for quite awhile , if even at all . Some big changes ahead ! Continued health to all on here ... And thank you for all your experiences .

OMG seven hours straight sleep for me last night, can't believe how different I feel. No RLS and fell asleep quite quickly at 11.30. I know this all may change again but I will take this while I can. Sx

OncecleanNserene as you have read so many posts you will KNOW that you are able to do this. There are obviously many people out there who are going through the horror, and it is horror, so hang on in with all your strength. I have found it to be like a sky dive without the parachute but I absolutely know there will be a soft landing somewhere in time to come. Thinking of you, keep in touch Love Sx

Alnan,

You did it, hung in there then all of a sudden you get 7 hours sleep. That's what happened to me. I felt so much better the next day after a good night sleep. Your sleep pattern will probably continue. I'm so happy for you, as a couple weeks of insomia is so difficult. You will continue to see and feel breakthroughs; anxiety, depression, brain zaps, RLS, will get better slowly and one day out of the blue you will notice your legs don't ache anymore and brain zaps are mostly gone.

OncecleanNserene,

I came to this forum everyday when I was detoxing. I was taking up to 800 mgs a day for 5 years. Yes, detox is hell, PAWS is worse, HOWEVER now that most of my PAWS are gone ( brain still a little fuzzy ), life is so much richer, I'm much happier, and I see things more clearly. My ticker shows I'm a few days shy of 6 months clean. Hang in there in you do it.

^ " you can do it "

Thank you Alnan & Meganann123 . I am feeling terrified already .. Skin on fire last few days , and tired but worst Is the fear of that depression . This is going to the hardest thing I've ever done ..and I kicked some bad habits back in the 80s .

Thanks Meganann I am so pleased I hung in and although there may be worse to come I know I will see it through. The support on this forum has helped so much x
OncecleanNserene please keep on posting. Write everything down on here as I think that will help you and others who follow us. You will do it because you can.
Still ok Blockhead?
Love to all Sx

Its like a roller coaster some days feel good other crap,but I will neger take this poison again,we are all in this together,got psychiatrist today and he actually understands the long process of coming off tramadol,will let you all know what he says x

Well I am up at 2:30 am. So confused: is it tram withdrawal, menopause, or, as my same-age husband so nicely suggested, the normal aches and pains of being 52 years old? I am having some leg aches, sweating, and problems with going to the bathroom (to put it delicately). I am still taking 50-100mg a day tramadol BTW. My maintenance dose since 9/11. I've been back at work since 9/15 but that has been a good thing, the days go by faster and I am mentally occupied at work, and I am not feeling bad during the day. Just the nights.

The sweating could be the menopause but legs, insomnia and loo would seem to be Tram.When I was 52 the menopause was uncomfortable but do not remember aches and pains. This is my day 20 from c/t of 300mg daily. Up until 2 nights ago sleep had been really bad for me RLS and insomnia but luckily so far not a lot else. As for the loo is it to go or not to go?? What were to taking before the maintenance level? Hope you are asleep as I write this?

Would be very interested in what the phsyc says blockhead.
Love to all Sx

What were you taking (typo) above

Hi Alnan and everyone else - I got about 2 hours sleep last night. Already getting ready for work now. I had been sleeping OK last week but now this? It could be the weather change, too, it went from hot and muggy on Sunday to very cool last night and sometimes the seasonal change disturbs my sleep -- especially when I can't knock myself out with extra tramadol!

^ it's probably tramadol withdrawal since you are only taking one to two pills a day. Insomnia hits pretty hard for most people, and everyone is different to when the brain adjusts and sleep occurs naturally. I too would take tram to sleep back in the days.
We are here for you IndigIris. Blessings to you and everyone on this board.

Yes the insomnia was really hard for me too for the first 15/16 days. Have slept for the last 3 night but I am really exhausted during the day, don't mind this as anything is better than no sleep at night so I force my self to stay awake until about 11.00 pm. I am retired and so I do not have to worry about working during the day, that must be so hard to do but hang in as it certainly does get better.
Thought I had got away with the depression and anxiety that I have read so much about but it arrived..........had a big row with my daughter this morning, usually keep things under control as far as she is concerned but found that impossible to do today and said my piece!! Think this is part of it all so will wait and get over it as time passes. Hope you are doing ok IndigoIris, everyone is here for everyone, keep strong. Love to all Sx

Hi friends . NOT a good feeling .. Chest is tight , anxiety is awful. Taking Prozac to replace serotonin for a week now . Used clonodine a couple days for sweats ... Taking a break from that crap . Starting to wonder if I can do this !I did not stop CT I went on and of the suboxone last 6-8 months and lowered from 10-12 trams to 1,2 maybe 3 ... ( not suggested ) . I'm reading that I ought to STAY on sub till Prozac is in my system and taper off that first. Than taper off Suboxone . Is anyone else familiar with this ? I have been on tramadol since 1999 ! 15 years I am wondering if in better off finding a dr and staying on it now ! That's a third of my life almost ... Ugh ! What did I do ? Any thoughts are welcome . And thanks Alnan , Meganann , Spider & James for checking in ...

Prozac takes a few weeks to get into your system. Do you have a good doctor that understands the withdrawal and PAWS associated with tramadol? If you do I would follow what he says. I think you said your doctor wants the Prozac in your system and you are still on Suboxone before going totally off tramadol. Don't beat yourself up for being on tram for 15 years. I was on for 5 years and a very high dosage, 800 mgs, and some days more. I popped pills sometimes for no reason. No one says I want to be an addict. Most of us got on this poison for medical reasons, and got hooked. I didn't see it coming as I don't have family with addiction problems and didn't think twice about taking the pills as the "doctors" said they were safe and not habit forming. It's not all their fault as I knew something wasn't right, as I started needing these pills. I was in the same boat as you and I want you to remember there is light at the end of the tunnel and life is SO MUCH better off tram. I went through a living hell, and everyone here has as well. You can do it ! One day at a time, and baby yourself as your brain and body are healing. It will take time.
Blessings !

Thank you Meganann. I do not have a regular Dr. per say. I did , but I went elsewhere to get off the pills. Pain management was useless when it came to detoxing. They dished them out , and expected me to just stop. So I sought out a reputable dr. whom prescribed Suboxone. when I returned to him stating I wanted off subs as well as trams...he prescribed Prozac for the Atypical withdrawal from serotonin... and clonidine for acute.(I know I sound confusing...as I would take Suboxone (.5mg-2mg per day) for a couple weeks, and fear the long term addiction to that as well, so I would take 1-3 ultrams instead for a week or two....never totally detoxing....and back and forth ) Now understanding the reason for deep depression, I got Prozac.....its only been a week. I should have done this awhile back, but was afraid to stop because of the depression. Paws is what keeps me from carrying out my mission.... hope I made sense, because I don't think I have it in me right now. This morning the tension in my chest felt awful. So I took Trizidine (xanaflex) a week muscle relaxer, which really I should use for RLS. UGh! Contemplating ER if this doesn't get better. Atleast call the doc. I am a stubborn Italian

Thanks for encouragement everyone -- I slept fine last night.

Do go with as much medical advice as possible IndigoIris, anything that helps you. I'm a stubborn Brit but it is hard to do this and we need all the help we can get x

3.00 in the morning and have slept for 11/2 hours. awoke with pains (?RLS) in my right foot leg and no a chance of getting back to sleep any time soon. Sod it I thought I was over this although it could be that I regret the row with my daughter yesterday and although I have tried phoning her she hasn't picked up and I am no doubt my usual 'punishment' for saying the wrong thing will prevail. She has mental health problems and her over sensitivity (or mine) is perhaps the reason sleep issue!!! Who knows?? Love to all Sx

OMG brain in meltdown the above was meant for OncecleanNserene. Glad you slept IndigoIris x

^Alnan.  Your post made me chuckle the part about your daughter and saying the wrong thing.  I have that problem too, not just with my daughter but my husband too at times, especially when I was sleep deprived.
Also, you slept over 11 hours, that's amazing !!!

OncecleanNserene,
Your post made sense and sounds like you found a good doctor that understands w/d's from tramadol.  Hope you are doing ok

Hi everyone hope your ok,I cant comment on menopause being a man lol,hope your all well if id of known how hard it was to come off this crap id never of took it,like everyone else was told not addictive,what a load of crap,well 13 weeks today off it,psychiatrist was well impressed and is very supportive x

Oh Meganann if only........I slept for one and a half hours, don't know how to do half on this PC. Daughter still not picking up the phone so it is a stand off and will no doubt escalate as she is never in the wrong!
Well blockhead the phsyc is deservedly impressed which is great and must be encouraging.
How are things going OncecleanNserene??
Love to all Sx

Oh Alnan, I misread your post :((
Blockhead, congrats on 3 months, quite an accomplishment, I know how hard it is. Glad you have a doctor that is supportive.
Hope you are doing ok OncecleanNserene.

Hello Alnan & Meganann. So pleased you are able to cope with this awful illness. God Bless you ! All of you. I am struggling. At the moment trying to find a local detox to help me. My biggest issue has been the awful depression.... I can not even get past 2-3 days so far. Ive been on this Tramadol since 99, so I wonder if the length of time is making my depression worse, because its BAD! Fear of walking out of my own home ... I did not want to take the clonidine again, its been 4 days of it now. It certainly works tho...however I fear the rebound affect from that stuff. That's all I need right now is a 'Ticker' issue! When I wake up I feel as if im hooked to a battery charger! Im a mess 'upstairs' !I will check in later .Even though I don't know any of you, I feel I really do... Love all you guys!

OncecleanNserene

Just heading out of the house, but wanted to comment first.

Might be a good idea to find a local detox for you and they will monitor your withdrawals. I went to a detox center. The side rails of my bed was padded ( in case of seizures ), and was given meds to make my withdrawal a little easier. I got pretty sick, as the subconox made me violently ill. That being said, I felt safe as I was given anti seizure meds, zofran. For stomach pain, and sleep aids. It wasn't a walk in the park, but I survived, and depression, anxiety, RLS, brain zaps, NO energy hit later. Somehow I got thru it, don't really know how. I must admit every once in awhile I think how much energy tram gave me back in the days, however I also remember how tram turned on me and I became very withdrawn, didn't want to leave my house, and was scared that I was going to die due to all the tram I was taking.
Blessings !

@OncecleanNserene

I had some serious depression during withdrawal.  It was the darkest and most awful feeling I've ever had in my life.  I honestly felt like I was at the gates of hell and could fall into madness at any moment.  The emptiness, the dispair, the darkness, the heaviness... it was all too much.  The dark thoughts were just awful.  I would never kill myself, but the ideation was very peculiar.  I really did feel like there was an evil presence around me, taunting me... trying to get me back on the trams... telling me I would never be normal because I messed up my brain with 10 years on this drug.  After the depression, I felt Bi-Polar for a while.. and that was weird.  After coming out of this experience, I had a renewed respect for people with mental illness and real clinical depression that is not drug induced.

I never took any other meds during withdrawal... even though the Dr tried to put me on antidepressants.  I wasn't severely depressed (i know this now!) before trams, so I really felt like my brain would come around.  I gave myself a year and agreed to surrender to brain damage and get on antidepressants if I didn't feel better. It did get better, but it took a while.  I was so unsure.  I was so scared.  I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.  I was never going to get better and I might actually need trams or ADs for the rest of my life... because I was broken.. I would never be myself again.  It wasn't true then.  My brain came around.  I'm not perfect by any means... still get brain zaps now and then... but I made it.  I actually feel happiness and real joy, like I did before trams.  I am not antisocial any more.  I'm funny again.  I'm fun again.

I hope the Prozac helps you.  I toughed it out without anything.  I've heard that helps some people transition, but I was trying to give my brain a break.  Maybe a bad decision? I don't know.  I didn't not want to withdraw from another drug.  I did take an occasional Xanax and muscle relaxer, which really helped.  I didn't think I would make it through the depression part and I had to fight with everything I had inside of me.  I'm stronger than I thought.  I will tell you that the severe part did not last very long.  I think maybe a month or two.  I just had to grit my teeth and keep moving forward.  You are not your thoughts.  You are an observer of your thoughts.  It's hard I know.

Just keep fighting the fight!  I think Prozac takes a while to start working, so just hang in there.  Don't beat yourself up.  You're human

XOXO

Yes AD's take a while to kick in as I have known before even starting taking Tram. You must get all the professional help available to you OncecleanNserene. I hope you have someone who you can talk to and you will continue to use this site to back up your progress, just write it ALL down even the smallest thing as I am sure getting thoughts out helps. Don't do this alone ALWAYS seek help and guidance and take one day at a time. Are you near the countryside?? Walking in the fresh air is good therapy and helps with physical W/Ds. As Meganann, Allinblack and many others have testified you can do this but you need to take all the help you can get and be ok with that. It seems from what I have read on this forum that there are common symptoms from W/D that apply to most people but also random ones that are individual. How much how and long taken certainly seems a factor in coming off Tram but reactions are all different, your tomorrow's will be your own as long as you stay strong on the today's. Love to all Sx

Allinblack always hits the nail on the head,exactly how I felt,and still do sometimes,but everyday it gets a bit better,we can do this,this site has been a godsend to me,I just like to say thank you for all the support x

I need professional help to get off this poison. It literally ruined my life. My fiancé were together 9 years and now shes moved on with someone else. Im not myself on these things. They make me mean and hateful and say horrible things to the people I love. Im currently in a out patient group but its not working. Ive gone to NA meetings and read my NA handbook but I still continued abusing these things. Im trying to prove to the love of my life that im not myself on them but she couldn't take it anymore. I offered to go into detox for a month and she said it wont matter that shes done. She was the love of my life and gave me 4 beautiful babies I just cant believe she wants to end our relationship. I cant stop crying because of the guilt and she was a good woman who didn't deserve a tram addict for a future husband. Id give anything to take it all back. This stuff is mind altering poison. Im quite not sure if Ishould go to detox or do it at home since I have vitamins and other supplements at home I can take that im sure detox wont have. But im willing to do anything to win her love back. Im gonna go on a crusade and let as many people know to never take these devil pills. I don't want anyone to get trapped on this life ruining devil pill. Please God help me get my life back together so I can be the best father I can be and win my ex fiancé back so we can be a happy family.

How many are you taking and for how long ?

Id have to say it started in 2009 and was taking 6 a day for a couple months than stopped cold turkey. I got very sick and decided to taper and stayed clean until 2011 and that's when trouble started. I could not stop taking them I was hooked and I would steal them or go to hospital and complain my back was hurting and id buy them. That's about the time my downward spiral happened. Fights with my girlfriend constantly, mistrust, and arguments about taking care of the kids. I have a anger problem I went to anger management and completed it but according to my kids mom it didn't work. That's because I was still taking the trams and id take 8 at a time plus 5 or 6 later on in the day. sometimes id take 15 to 20 a day. Not a good idea knowing how my temper is amplified on these devil pills. I just want to stop altogether and stay clean the rest of my life from all drugs. I just hope I get better so my fiancé can have the man she fell in love with back.

Welcome dm3410,

I also started in 2009 after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. I was given the stronger pain meds at first then went home with tramadol and like everyone has said, doctors told me it was non narcotic and not addictive. Those idiots. I wasn't on a high dose at first, then I starting to feel good and took more and more, and people around me loved how outgoing, funny and I was the life of the party. Well, I starting popping even more pills as I needed more to function. I was taking 10 to 12 pills a day for a couple of years, and probably more I stopped counting. Five years later the tram turned on me and I was saying horrible things to my dear friends and husband. I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. I also was spending $400 or more a month on them and felt so guilty and I became a very mean person, no patients for anyone, and very withdrawn. I got to the point where I thought I was going to die if I continued to use, and was so damn scared. I checked myself Into detox, and the real hell started. It sounds like you have read many posts so you are aware about the withdrawal, and the PAWS. By far the hardest thing I've ever gone thru, worse than natural childbirth, however I'm on the other side and I'm back to the Megan before my brain tumor, and the Megan my husband fell in love with. I've also had to deal with my issues, and got professional help with my problems. I also had a child die from a brain tumor at the age of 11, and I got my brain tumor a couple years later ( not cancerous ), and I drown my sorrows with pills. The last six months I've had to deal with my pain, and was on Prozac for awhile which helped me. Now only thing I take is Tylenol from time to time.
I hope your girlfriend understands how tramadol changes you for the worse. It's the med, not you. Would she be willing to read some of the posts which would help her understand the addiction, and the support you will need getting off this poison?
Blessings

Thank you Meganann123 for responding. First let me say how so sorry I am for the loss of your child. As a father of 4 I couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child. I was a monster on tramadols and like you said many things to my family and girlfriend/fiancé/love of my life I also couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. My sister passed away unexpectedly in September of last year from a heart attack plus my dad relapsed and became an alcoholic again. I was abusing the trams to self medicate as it gave me euphoria and energy. plus it covered up any guilt I was dealing with. I doubt she would read this forum as she has convinced herself shes done with me and theres nothing there. Not only was she my whole world and the mother of my children she was my bestfriend. the tramadol made me a different person. Me and her hardly ever fought before trams but after I got hooked that's when trouble started. Not only did it make me mean and hateful it also made me paranoid. I wish I never got on these devil pills. I do know about the hellish withdrawals and PAWS. God I just hope this is all a nightmare. I told her that's this is not the David she fell in love with but she thinks im just making excuses and shes done helping me. I don't know what ill do without her. I never felt love before her I cant handle her moving on with someone else. I begged and pleaded with her to give me one last chance but she said shes done giving me chances. Anyway I guess im just rambling on. Thank you for responding I really appreciate it.

Dm I was the same loved the feeling they gave me,thought everything was great in my life,until they started to give me heart palpitations,picking my daughter up from school became a nightmare,thought I was having a heart attack once on the school playground,sweating every night and I mean totally drenched,I became a person I didnt even recognise,im not going to lie to you coming off these tablets has been hell on earth but it is slowly getting better,had my daughter the last few days something I couldn't do three months ago,please try not to beat yourself up to much (something I did the first months coming off) I never thought id be where I am today,but with the help of my psychiatrist and people on this site im getting better,you need to do this for you,then I hope everything with fall back into place for you,good luck

Thank you blockhead123 for responding. I do know the horrible withdrawals ive been thru it before but had my girlfriend there to support me and now shes not. I don't think I can do this without her. Thank you for your concern.

Allinblack,  thank you for your help and experience. My heart goes out to you dm3410. I have never really had problems while on meds till i decided i wanted to stop. 15 years of progression, and nieve to its withdrawal symptoms till i attempted stopping. Ive tapered (the hard way -on /off of suboxone last 9 months) however i havent taken more then 2 a day in along time. Saturday i took 1 mg of suboxone, as i am 'hanging' on till i can get into a regular detox. I need too, if for any reason at all, the depression scares the ba-jesus outta me. I do NOT like it....and im in my 2nd week of prozac to 'up' my serotonin levels. It seems to help a little so far, but i still want to go away, even if for a week or two. My problem is no insurance , but i have a dear friend in the 'business' doing what she can to help me. She is a Godsend, because i know its taking a toll on my fiance as well. I do not want to lose her, she is a 'doll', and very beautiful. She deserves better than what i have had to offer this past few months. But dm3410, you gotta do it for yourself. I got clean off ALL drugs and alcohol in Jan 1991, and had serious 'backinjury' in 94. Dealt with pain thru advil, chiro, etc , till 99 when i discovered Ultram as an option to 'heavy duty opiuates' Ive taken vicoden over the years, but thank god i never got into Prcs, oxy's, roxy's etc. Tramadol is bad enough, actually worse in my opinion because of the SSRI factor. I know im going to beat this, and yes im still scared. I miss being happy and having  passion for my hobbies, music, sports, life in general and most of all my wonderful woman.
     Today i started to come down with a cold or something....so now im freakin out about having 'regular' flu...lol. I just dont like being under the weather no matter what the issue.
    Some of you have had some terrible life loses. My condolences.Its just an awful thing to experience. Ive buried an ex from an overdose to heroin about 7 years back, and it still hurts. This disease of addiction is cunning and baffling. I spent many years clean n sober, and NEVER thought id fall prey to THIS stuff. Its no joke tho. I too, get nostalgic, and extremely sad, crying jags, thinking about what once was. Life is very hard, with all the madness in the world today. Makes 'you' just want scream and escape! however we cant. My conscious contact with my ' higher power' is not as strong as it once was, and ive been practicing the basics lately to what once helped me get clean the first time. I need my friends, God, my family , my girl,  AND you guys, because.... no where else (not even in my AA/NA mtgs,) do many people understand what this drug has done to us! So a day at a time i can only keep faith and put one foot in front of the other. Ill keep taking my prozac, hope for that'phone call' to go away soon , and try to stay healthy. I also am preparing for those 'no-sleep' nights. I know they are coming. Im lucky i still get 4 hrs now.
   Well, i just wanted to chime in,(hello Alnan ,Meganann, Blockhead and Allinblack and thanks for your posts).. wish all those still suffering to be well. Im praying for relief for all us who are suffering. And those who are somewhat out of the woods, continued health and sucess. ...peace  John

Just when you think it all over it smacks you in the face again,I hate tramadol !!!!!!!!!

Haven't been able to log on as couldn't remember my password so hope I will be lucky this time. So much heartbreak on here since I last looked in and I am so sad reading all of your pain and losses. I am still estranged from my daughter and therefore my beloved grandson. While I was taking Tramodol I was able to keep a lid on the many things that were going wrong but since coming off (25 days) I feel back in the real world and not prepared to suffocate under it's influence any more and I am glad about that. Having much better nights now. still have twitches, RLS not as bad but my feet and legs are soooo cold and painful. I seem to have been relatively lucky as my W/D's are not as harsh as for some of you. I hope you can stay strong as it must be so worth being who we really are and not zapped by the dreaded Tram. Love to all. Sx

Alnan I wondered where you had gone,nuce to hear you are getting better x

Thank you blockhead, I hope so and that PAWS does't smack me in the face! I hope you are feeling ok, another day for you and another day nearer the end of all this turmoil for you. . Love Sx

Dm3410 and John Do keep going, keep logging on to this forum, you will find lots of different experiences and when I felt really bad I read page after page. Every post helped, gave me encouragement and passed away the hours I wasn't able to sleep and I was overwhelmed with it all.. I am 67 years old riddled with arthritis, a wayward daughter and my grandson at the mercy of a moron. My son has just been diagnosed with Bi Polar, my 2 brothers couldn't stand the heat of 'family' and moved away. Not to compare this with anyone else just that this site gave me strength to hang on. Love to you Meganann, and Allinblack How are you doing IndigoIris? x. Sx

About a month ago I started to taper from the tramadol. Mostly because of the rescheduling of it, but partly because I wanted to be done. I never really counted how many pills I was taking but I would say anywhere from 10-18 pills a day. Once I started tapering I was down to 12 a day. I did have some unpleasant symptoms but nothing unbearable. I recieved my normal order of tramadol after the rescheduling so I stuck with a slow taper thinking I could still get enough trams to taper slowly. I picked up my supply for this month only to receive gabapentin instead. That means I have 20 trams left to taper with. I took 3 yesterday morning at 7am and didn't take another until I took 2 at 11:45pm. It's now 1:33pm the next day and I have not taking any since last night. I'm freaking out a bit. I've been on tramadol about 7ish years. In the last 30 hours I've only taken 5 tramdols. That is the lowest dose I've taken in 5 years, but I'm doing ok. I have Zofran and the gabapentin on hand. I also have flexiril in the cabinet. I bought valerian root and a mag/Calc. Supplement when I started to taper. What else can I do or should I do. I'm so scared of what is to come but going from 12 pills one day to 5 pills the next has tolerable so far. I'm scared of how to get through tonight. Does anyone have any suggestions? This really *****:(

Hello Missy I was taking 300 mg for 7 months as 'normal' prescribed med so I went C/T. I wish I had tapered so think you are doing the best thing. It seems to affect everyone in different ways because of amount and time taken but I will tell you how it was for me if that helps.First 3-5 days sneezing, restless legs +++ very little sleep, (body knackered but brain wide awake even after forcing myself to stay awake during drowsy day times) feet very cold and then pain in feet and calves like electric shocks, twitches all over my body. Started taking Methocarbomal 750mg (muscle relaxant) 3 times a day,5-HTP twice a day and Magmesiam Citrate twice a day and lots of bananas (for RLS). The above W/D's gradually started to subside and got steadily more manageable after 5 or 6 days until now on day 26 and I feel the leg pains mostly but hopefully they will go soon.. Not sure if it was what I was taking or just how it progressed all by itself!
There are many pages to this forum, do try to read as many as possible as they helped me and you will find many that relate to your situation more than to mine but I do so hope you are able to get off this poison. It really does get better but one day at a time, you seem to be doing ok so far. Keep as strong as you are able to and take ALL the help you can get (medical, friends, family and of course this site) I wish you all the best, will catch up with you tomorrow. (11.45 UK time here x) you can do it. Love Sx

Hi Missy, Alnan, blockhead, oncecleanNserene And dm3410,

Look at you Alnan, 25 days clean.  Almost one month.  I remember how proud I was of myself when I hit that milestone.  You may experience fewer or less severe PAWS as you weren't on tramadol very long.  I know you've been through hell, however your hell may not be prolonged like many of us.  You sound so much better, as you must be sleeping better.

Welcome Missy.....I took and still take melatonin at night.  I take 1 pill 30 minutes before bedtime, and sometimes a Benadryl if my allergies are bothering me.  I fall asleep pretty easily.  However, like everyone has said the first couple weeks off tram and insomnia hits really hard.  My brain would be wide awake at night, and some nights I took a zanax to sleep, not often as it's very addictive.

Blockhead and dm, and oncecleanNserene,hope you are doing well.   I remember the early days like yesterday.   You will feel better one day at a time.  Hang in there the road is bumpy and it ***** going thru withdraws and PAWS, and I can't emphasize how much better you will feel down the road, better than when you first started taking tram and you thought life was good at first.  Life is the best when you are clean, and i know you know this.

Allinblack
You are someone I look up to as you are clean over a year...almost a year and half.  Can't wait to see my ticker where yours is.  Thanks for your wise advice.

Meganann,I felt ok last week,im rearly struggling this week,sweating the last 2 nights,and fell like crap !!!!

Feel like crap not fell

hello everybody. I just want to thank everybody for their responses since I was last on here.i did something very stupid on sunday. my kids mom has said this new guy shes with could end up becoming serious and they already slept together I was so hurt and took around 15 trams at once to try to have a seizure and die but all it did was make me say a lot of horrible, hurtful, evil things to her that I cant believe I even let pop into my head let alone say to her. all I did was push her further away and now im dead to her. I saw my psych yesterday and he wont prescribe me anymore benzos as I tried to od on them last april so I am not going to detox because I have a family member who has extra clonazepam I can get off them. its only .5 mg but it helps a lot. I wouldn't be able to handle being away from family the anxiety would drive me nuts.so im doing it at home. well today Im gonna start taking 1 a day from 2. well gotta go for now, good luck everyone.

hey dm! its ok. we all do irrational stuff...that's why we are here. Try not to beat yourself up. I can relate. Ive done a few regrettable things over the years. stay close to YOUR friends. This is NOT easy .... , and go easy on the Benzos. I am having a tough time too. The clonidine I have been using has has helped tremendously, however...it can also backfire and causes me much more anxiety. I am still waiting/hoping to go inpatient for the extra support. I need it. I hope to know soon. If not, I have to rough this storm out ...and I need you, and the others here for all the help we can get! Hang in there my friend! Happy to see Alnan doin so well, you give me much hope. I don't want to start my ticker till im off EVERYTHING! Good health to all ....John

Hello all- it would take a day for me to explain my situation. I understand the difference between dependance and addiction but I have to say this drug is unique so I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. If I had known 10-12 yrs ago I could make the pain stop (emotional, physical) that I could get them that easy =off the Internet im not sure that I would not have and I have never been addicted to anything. I just wanted the pain and horrible feelings to stop. Psychopharmacologists are just now starting to see the real effects of this drug. It is believed this works like an opiote with ssri qualitys that also attaches to the GABA receptors like a benzo which is why you do not get the high like you do with Narcotics. You cannot mess with brain chemistry and not have fallout. I think it will be another decade or more before we understand the full implications of this drug. I have learned alot as of late. I have talked to some recently that took more just so they didn't go thru withdrawal not sure I would say that is true addiction.

Yes, dm I agree with oncecleanNserene. I've done a ton of things I regretted, and all when I was on tram. Tram changes the way you think, feel and takes away the filter of what comes out of your mouth. I know how hurt you are. What's most important is coming off tram, and getting healthy physically and emotionally. I've been off tram for 6 months, and my entire family and close friends see a HUGE difference in my behavior and personality. I'm much more pleasant to be around, and I like myself for the first time in 5 years. I use to say horrible things that I can't even repeat, and couldn't believe I said them. My husband and friends forgave me when they witnessed the change in me when the evil drug was out of my system and the PAWS subsided. Unfortunately it's a long process; stay on this forum as it helped me the most.

@meganann123 it warms my heart to hear you have overcome this and you are right it changes you in ways never thought possible. You only lose when you stop trying. We tend to shame and ridicule ourselves more than those in our life. We are our biggest critic. Pick yourself up...dust off the dirt and continue. It is a process no right or wrong. We did not all learn to walk on the first try.

@dm -- I did the same thing this past Sunday -- was down to 1 -2 trams a day, when my husband went into a rage in the morning and while on the tramadol for the past 10 years, I could block his episodes out. Without the tram or other meds, though, I was so upset and hurt so much inside that I wanted to kill myself. Instead I took 8 tramadol over the afternoon and went to sleep. Not happy at all. My job is stressful and I am the sole breadwinner and if I get too stressed out at home after coming home from work, I am not going to be able to function without the f----n pills.

I dropped down from 12 pills a day to 4 pills a day 4 days ago. It's hasn't been easy, but it's been better then I expected. It makes me question why I didn't do this sooner. I know they say that dropping that quick isn't good but I didn't have a choice. I went 18 hours between doses today. That is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I am taking gabapentin as needed to get through the worst of it and it's helping a lot. Night time is the hardest part. I don't know what I'm going to go come Monday when I have no trams left. It's freaks me out, but if I was able to go from 12 to 4, then I can go from 4 to 0. The last time I went 24 hours with out tramadol was over 5 years ago and it was horrible. I am ready for it this time though.

It's now been 5 days since I dropped from 12 tram to 4 a day. I'm doing ok physically but it's hard to break the habit of reaching for them. I've used gabapentin when the WD gets bad. I've also take zofran 8mg and highlands RLS tablets at night. On the second night I took a flexeril. I'm going about 16-18 hours between 100mg doses. How is everyone else doing? If I continue at this dose I run out on Sunday night. I'm debating if I should cut down to 2 trams a day for tomorrow and Sunday, which would then make my last dose on Tuesday. I'm so grateful I haven't had any issues with seizures like some do.

Yes we all do things we regret when things get too much. Keep going Missy as you are doing till Tuesday. You have done so well so far, good for you.

I really feel like such a fraud on here now, my Tram use was only 300mg a day for 7 months and after a month off a lot of the time lately has been ok. RLS last night and no sleep until 5am. but I now think I maybe have non Tram related RLS and the no sleep is a result of this. Feel I can't keep putting it down to the after effects of Tram as my intake was so small and you have all been so much stronger than me coming off or trying to come off so much higher intake/time on than me. I will keep looking in on you all but I don't feel I qualify to advise anyone. If I can answer any questions relating to my relatively little struggle I will gladly answer.

I wish you all the very best with leaving the demon Tram behind. This forum and especially those of you so far on this page have been a God send to me over the past month and I thank you all. My love to you all and I wish you strength for everything you are dealing with. Sxx

Hi All

I have been completely off Tramadol for over a month now, and if it helps anyone then I'll share how I did it.

I started taking Trams over 5 years ago when my wife gave me a couple for a bad back I had (she was a nurse and had access to them at the hospital). Immediately I loved how they made me feel...I'd had mild depression all my life, and the trams seemed to take away all that...suddenly I was really positive, able to concentrate more, and found social situations much easier to handle. From then on I found any way I could to get my hands on them...a workmate used to give me his spares, and then I started buying online.

However, I only ever took 2 x 50mm a day, usually one at 1pm and another at 6pm. I realise this is nothing compared to what some of you have been taking, but believe me when I tried to stop on several occasions the withdrawals have been horrendous.

I tried about three times previously to stop, but the withdrawals were so bad I started again after a couple of days...the worst part was the night time RLS...not just my legs, but my whole body thrashing about...totally awful and impossible to cope with. Also the flu symptoms and tinnitus...they were terrible but I could cope with them, unlike the night time.

Ok, so this time round I thought I'd do dome research first before trying again, and found several articles and YouTube videos on taking Imodium, not to help with the diarrhea, but in larger doses to help withdrawals.

Well it really worked for me...the active ingredient in Imodium is in fact a mild opiate, but it doesn't cross the brain/body barrier very well. I also bought a product called WithdrawalAid. I live in the UK and had to buy it online from the USA, but I had read good things about it.

So here's what I did. The first day of stopping I took 24 x 2mg Imodium (this seems like a lot I know, but they are harmless) at lunchtime, then another 12 x 2mg at night, along with the WithdrawalAid tabs as recommended. Well I had a fitful night, but no where near as bad as it had been. Before I have had to get out of bed due to the RSL and sit and watch TV all night, but this time round I did manage to stay in bed.

2nd day I took 6x 2mg Imodium at lunchtime, and the same at night. (Yes, I was constipated, but I was managing to go a little! ). Also continued with the Withdrawal Aid pills. I didn't feel too bad during the day, but it was the night that surprised me most...I slept almost the whole night through!!

I continued with the Imodium at the same dose for a week, then tapered off them. Yes, I had to take so something for the constipation, but believe me it was worth it to be able to sleep so peacefully.

So, it's 1 month on now and I'm really doing well...yes, I've been a little depressed, but I'm getting back to the gym regularly again now and that really helps. When I was on the Trams I didn't feel motivated to exercise at all...i just wanted to sit and watch TV or browse the net.

Ok, so that's what worked for me...I know everyone is different, but please believe me it is possible.

Hope this helps someone out there...and hope that you all find peace away from tramadol.

Alnan,

I don't think you are a fraud.  I'm not an expert on tramadol, and wonder if coming off tramadol from 7 months of use is the same as 2, 3, 5 year or more use.  I really believe once we started taking this drug our mind is uttered very quickly.
Don't beat yourself up.  I understand the lack of sleep for almost a month is a killer.  Do you have a doctor that understands PAWS. ?  Could he or she prescribe a medication for the RLS or short term sleeping pill.

I started taking Clariton D for allergies, and got a high.  My brain is still whacky after 6 months, and I can't even take a darn Clariton D.  I wish you had access to melatonin.  It helps you fall asleep at bedtime.

I enjoy reading your posts !!

Slipstream,

What a great story ! Wish I would have known how to detox without feeling horrible. You sound like you are pretty much back to normal after one month. Do you think it's because you were on a low dosage for 5 years ? I hope others that are trying to come off tram take your advice.

Missy,

That is how I felt. When I stopped taking tramadol, I needed to take some sort of pill because it was a habit. So I started taking vitamins or Tylenol. Gababentin helped me too. You sound like you are doing well, the best to you as you say good by to these evil pills.

Just needed to share -- now my marriage seems to be falling to pieces, as my husband doesn't like the "new" me, newly menopausal and weaning off the tramadol at the same time. He just stomped out saying "Sorry I made you hate me." I honestly don't know what to do. I feel numb inside and I am just trying to tend to my day to day responsibilities,

Are we allowed to tell others how we dealt with the acute symptons of withdrawal? I went from 16 - 20 a day to 1 -2 over two months. Instead of quitting completely, I stayed with the low amount daily because of the brain zaps, I would rather wean off slowly over the next few weeks because I know it is the SNRI antidepressant in tramadol that causes so many problems in withdrawal.
I used: B6/12/Folic acid supplement plus black coffee in the morning (I tried L=tyrosine with it but it made me feel funny and light headed), in afternoon I drank kratom with herbal tea (I only needed Immodium once during my last withdrawal week and I think it's because the kratom substituted for it), in the evening gabapentin 300mgs, and an hour before bed, melatonin/valerian root. When I couldn't sleep - another gabapentin plus a hot epsom salt bath. I also take a multivitamin with 4.5 mgs iron, a calcium/magnesium/D3, omega fish oil and vitamin E, and I drink low sodium V8 to get extra vitamin A, C, and potassium. What is kicking my butt is NOT the acute physical symptoms. It is the stress of dealing with certain people with no tramadol numbing buffer, and the other person freaks out because I am very direct and angry if that is how I feel, and we end up arguing, and I have relapsed and abused the tramadol again.

Blimey Slipstream other than Lewis Hamilton's win today you have made my Sunday x In my previous post I have said I feel like a fraud because I took lower dose of Tram and for a shorter time compared to other people on here. I put my occasional RLS and insomnia down to my natural state rather than continuing W/D's from Tram. Maybe not then and things will improve as they this may be PAWS as Megannan suggests. (thank you for you post Megannan x)
Indigolris, I had a BIG barny with my daughter 2/3 weeks after stopping Tram. I felt more engaged with things that would not get to me while I was taking it. I am trying to work through it all in my head but at least my head is working. Hang on in there. Love to all Sx

Had a rearly stressful day friday,went to my best mates funeral,I did post about it on last thread,was one of the hardest days of my life,didn't think I could do it,but I did,im proud of myself that I did it,101 day off the poison x

It's been a full week since I dropped down from 12 pills a day of tramadol to 4 pills. I had some difficult times over the last week.  Most of them were at night but it hasn't been nearly as bad as I though.  I have gabapentin, zofran, valerian root, Calc/mag supplement, and flexeril to help.   The only med I've used fairly regularly is the gabapentin.  Today I'm down to 2 tamadols and a craving is really hitting me.  I long for that feeling I get when the pills kick in.  For the last week the dose has been just enough to help with WD but not enough to give me that feeling.  I keep on thinking of the extra money that I will have by not wasting it on this crap.  I was paying almost $300 a month.  It's so embarrassing to even type that.  I live paycheck to paycheck and these pills are why.  I'm so ashamed.

Has anyone ever gone on an antidepressant after getting off of tramadol?  I'm doing ok now, but I'd like to know all of options.  If you went on one, which med did you go on?

It almost 2am and I really need to try and shut down my mind for the night.  I hope that everyone is resting peacefully and wakes up to an awesome morning:)

Missy,

I was on Prozac ( 10 mgs ) for about a month or so. It really helped with the depression caused for stopping tramadol. I felt better.

I also was spending $300 a month, and it killed me throwing this money away.....probably spent about $3,000 total. I felt awful too, however I'm looking forward and thankful I'm done with this poison.

Yes...although my physical withdrawal symptoms have more or less ended after 5 weeks or so, it's the mental after effects that I'm struggling with.

I was taking tramadol as an anti depressant really, and I'm finding it difficult to find a natural substitute....I've tried Rhodiola and L-tyrosine in the last two weeks, and they both just make me feel a bit weird...in fact I'm sure the Rhodiola made me feel more depressed!

I've never tried prescription anti depressants, as I've always been worried about the side effects, and besides that the trams really worked for me in that respect.

Does Prozac really work then?

Yes Prozac works. Takes about a week or two to get into your system. Prozac is not addictive, however does cause weight gain. Thinking back I was on it for 3 months to get me thru the difficult times. I weaned myself off, and did fine.

Also Prozac helps with anxiety.

Yes prozac is addictive. All AD are addictive to the body they are just not habitual addiction. Of all the AD prozac is the easiest to come off of..it has the longest half life it takes almost a month to clean from the body so it is easy to taper with the withdrawals.
Trams fall into a dual category. Used taper and withdrawal like you would an AD. Most concentrate on its opiote quality when detoxing. That is why tram is so difficult. ADs have the same withdrawal symptoms as tram. Now that being said prozac has been a first choice AD to help with coming off tram for the short term.

I have been on tramadol for 2 years and tapered down using hydro over 3 weeks. I was down to 1/4 of a 350mg pill a day when I went cold turkey. I am now on day 3 and I have this neck pain ( muscle/ joint) that is the worst part about my detox and withdraws. I know it's going to be a while till I feel better or normal, I guess my question is, dose anyone know of anything that might help with that aspect of the withdraw ? What works what helps people get through the day? I work full time in a warehouse so I need so temp relief or anything . Thanks in advance and please excuse my grammar , I was in a rush I'm at work lol.

^Konobee -- when you have some time, read through these Journals (Emily Posts), you will find out how others deal with this withdrawal. I used gabapentin, kratom, and melatonin/valerian to cut down to about 1/10th of my usual daily dose.

Just wanted to share that I haven't been here for a few days because I went into some kind of severe depression for a few days from the beginning of October until yesterday. Not just feeling gloomy or sad, a real clinical brainstorm that I haven't felt for about 16 years now (since my last pregnancy). I am going to Drs. on the 27th to investigate whether this is hormonal (I am just starting menopause this past year) or withdrawal from the SNRI in tramadol. Probably both. What's funny is some of you mentioned Prozac, and Prozac did help me back in 1994 (when I got depressed after opiate withdrawal) and again in 1996, from post-partum depression, so perhaps I will go on Prozac for a month if I can. But I NEVER EVER want to take an anti-depressant regularly again, the horror stories I have read on-line about trying to withdraw, especially from Effexor and Cymbalta (SNRIs), make tramadol withdrawal sound like a day at the beach.

^ Like I posted before ( I think ), I was on Prozac 10 mgs, the lowest dosage you can take for about two months. I didn't have any problems coming off of it. It takes two or three weeks to see and feel a difference in your moods, but it does work. My depression lifted and it also helped with anxiety. I was also scared about addiction, so that is why I weaned myself off when I did. It helped through the difficult beginning of PAWS.

My prescription ran out yesterday, 5 days prior to it being available for a re-fill (surprise, surprise). I know this week is now going to be hell. however, every month I tell myself I am going to ween myself off of these. they have made me so damn lazy over the past 2 years. I really want to be Tramadol free, and get back to an active / athletic lifestyle. I am scared to death to be off of these though.

Ive been reading (here & reddit) that Immodium helps. Hoping that is true. are there any other OTC or home remedies that help?

Welcome MidwestMatthew,

5-HTP helps with energy, and melatonin for sleep. I took a Benadryl with Melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime. It helps turn off your brain and fall asleep. Insomnia the hardest side affect for me. Also tramadol has SSRI which works as an anti-depressant, so you may feel depressed when you stop using it. Even though I wasn't depressed to begin with, I was very depressed when I stopped. I was put on a low dose of Prozac. You can NOT take Prozac with tramadol. Prozac raises the serotonin level in your brain like Tramadol does.
Good luck to you. It helps to hear from others when coming off this evil drug.

Still feeling it,good days and bad days,16 weeks off today,hope your all doing well,thread has been dead this week x

Yes, this thread is dead. How is everyone doing? How are you Alnan? I had to post as I think my ticker is at 200 days. Can't believe I made it this far. I still think about tramadol every now and then as I would pop a pill when I got hungry or needed an energy pick up. Never going back

Well done meganann,you are doing so well,think ive got paws bad,one day I feel ok the next crap,please tell me im not going to feel like this forever x

You won't blockhead. I believe I was still on Prozac at 4 months which helped my mood swings and depression. I never had depression before this dam drug. Energy started to come back full force around month 6 for me. I believe Emily and think it will be an entire year before I'm totally back to a "better normal". When I start to drag during the day, normally in the afternoon, I think about when I use to take a tram for energy and a high. But, I know it's normal to feel sluggish sometimes during the day.
Where is everyone? Hope everyone is doing well !!

Thanks meganann, it looks like it just you and me left on here x

It's been a few weeks for me . 22 days clean from everything ! 16 years of trams 10-12 a day last few yrs ! Topped off with Vicodens 3 x a day ... Then Suboxone to stop them , back and forth ! Ugh ... It was a nightmare! My heart goes out to all still on these evil pills! I STILL crave them. I miss the energy and feeling of well-being! I went into a hospital for 2 weeks to get help ! I just could NOT get thru it ! Now I have nothing in my body at all. Zilch! I am grateful but feel like crapola ! I will check back in when able. I am glad to see some of you still doing very well.! Don't give up ! I have faith it gets better ! Peace all !

Checking in , , , I had been taking half a pill of the few pills I had left every morning last week (18.75 mg to 25 mg tramadol) before going to work.  Today (Saturday) will be day one completely tramadol free.  I do have a short (6 hour) work day on Monday, then Monday afternoon an appointment with my gyn, who also serves as my primary doc.  We'll see how I feel in 2 days as far as what medication she might suggest for me.  I don't think I want ANY meds right now!  I took my L-tyrosine and B6/B12 this morning and I have 5HTP coming in the mail any day.  I don't want to be on hormones (I am 52 but did get my period in October, but skipped it in September) nor anti-depressants. I have all kinds of tools to help with withdrawal -- gabapentin for nighttime restless legs, Kratom  and Kava to relax in the day time, all kinds of vitamins, minerals and fish oil.  I don't use the gabapentin or kratom every day, nor do I use more than a minimal amount, because I don't want new addictions after getting off the tramadol.
A few weeks ago I suffered a horrible depression, this was after going from a usual 10 year dose of about 800 mg tramadol daily back in July down to 75 - 100 mgs daily after September 11, so I don't know if the depression was PAWS or some new menopause-related thing.  That (depression) was worse than all of the physical opiate-withdrawal-type crap of early tramadol withdrawal, and I have not felt that kind of depression for about 16 years now.  That's why I got the L-Tyrosine and 5HTP.
I want to tell anyone who is still using but wants to quit --- just go for it, start tapering 25% a week, at what I was using (16 pills a day) it took 3 months (13 weeks) to get to a half a pill a day.  Look up things to help the withdrawals -- there are so many things to help you sleep (benadryl, melatonin/valerian, or a benzo if you can get them).

Also, read about SNRI antidepressants because I read that 100 mg tramadol is about equal to 37.5 Effexor, and the withdrawal from those SNRIs (Effexor & Cymbalta are 2 brand names) is very difficult for some people, so be prepared.

Indigolris you've done well how are you doing with the anxiety ?

"so I don't know if the depression was PAWS. . . " - to be accurate. it could not have been PAWS because I was still taking  a tiny amount of tramadol every morning.  However, I do wonder if it was withdrawal symptom from the tramadol taper, or just a "normal" hormonal fluctuation for this time of my life, which has been masked up until now from the tramadol.  Believe me, I would not have chosen to come off tramadol until I was completely through my menopause year, if the DEA hadn't rescheduled it.  My dr. (gyn) did prescribe it for me years ago for endometriosis but I went way over the daily limit he gave me (I think he said only 1 pill every 6 hours IF NEEDED); I realized that not only did it make me feel pleasant physically but my former moodiness was very evened out by the SNRI in it, so I started ordering online and took 4 pills 4x a day for years.

Unlike many others who have shared their story in Emily's Journal, I actually don't hate tramadol and don't think it is "evil", my life improved in many ways after tramadol:  I was able to have and enjoy sex again (it has been too painful before it because of the endometriosis and, no, tylenol/aspirin/ibuprofin/naproxyn did not kill the pain nearly as well as the tramadol),  and even though it took longer to orgasm, everything was more intense while I was on the tramadol.  I also was able to detach better from my emotions -- now, some people think this is one of the bad effects, but in my line of work (at an investment bank, 90% of co-workers are Type A, analytical, unemotional males who would not even notice or care if I was crying and suicidally depressed at my desk), the ability to just put feelings and emotions aside and just jump into the work without interacting much with co-workers was actually a blessing.  There were many other good effects, including losing 27 pounds within 4 months of starting the tramadol.

HOWEVER, the BAD effects were just awful.  I had to plan my whole life around the purchasing and delivery of the drug.  There were YEARS where I bounced checks on a monthly basis because of my addiction to this drug.  There were times I made my poor husband drive through crappy weather at inconvenient times, rushing to the nearest FedEx terminal to pick up my package before it closed for the weekend.  I feared for the health of my liver.  I also feared having a seizure, although I never had a noticeable one.  But I did have these split-second things, what I think were seizures, where my body jerked and I felt like an electric jolt through my body.  I feared accidentally having a fatal OD and what that would do to my children and husband.  What I feared the most was losing my bottle of pills and having no back-up, and how I would not be able to work and would lose my job.  Or wild scenarios, like what if the U.S. was attacked, like a 9/11 scenario but here in my city, and everything shut down for a week or more including the on-line tram pharmacies and the post office, and I would have to go into cold turkey withdrawal from 16 pills a day . . . that would ruin my life.

Well it's time to walk the dogs.  Since no one has been posting much, I figured give everyone something to read.  I will check in to see how you are doing, Meganann, Alnan, Blockhead, Once Clean and Serene, Allinblack, and I wonder how Missy is doing?  And to update how I am doing with no tram at all for this weekend.

This drug is the Devil! I'm 46 years old and was prescribed tramadol for Neurapathy Pain 3 years ago. My dosage rose from (2) 50mg tabs per day to (1) 300 mg Extended Release. I never abused them, but they did help with pain and made me feel good for short periods of time each day. I never did research on trams, so I had NO IDEA about the Withdrawal Effects until a short time ago. My pharmacy couldn't get the 300 ER's in stock and I went 3 days without - Pure Hell. It wasn't until googling "Tramadol Withdrawal" that I realised what was happening to me. Looking back I now see that much of my pain was actually Tramadol Withdrawal instead of Neuropathies. Every night when I was in terrible pain thinking it was my Neuropathies, It was really the Instant Release 50mg Tabs running out of my system. At that time I was taking (1) in morning and (1) around 4 PM. I can't believe my doctor didn't catch this - Instead I was just prescribed more! Long story short the recent withdrawal scared the Heck out of me and I made the choice to quit. Here is my story so far as I'm in the middle of withdrawal and question if I'll come out alive.

Tapered off the 300 mg Extended Release to 150 mg over about a week (including the 3 days without due to pharmacy not getting my order in). I still had a bottle of the 50mg instant realeas tabs, so I switched to those. Starting at 125mg, I tapered by 25 mg every 3-5 days depending on when I stabilized at each dosage cut. Once I reached 50mg I decided to make the jump, as I was feeling bad withdrawals anyways and didn't want to prolong it any further. I now question if I should've did a few cuts down from the 50mg, but I'm too far in to start over. Below is the time table of my withdrawal so far WITHOUT ANY tramadol.

Saturday 10/18 - 25mg at 2 PM and my LAST 25mg at 9PM

Sunday 10/19 - Slept good through Sat/Early Sunday with 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Felt Pretty Good during the Day and started feeling the withdrawal heavy by Evening. Restless Legs/Arms, Brain Zaps, Sneezing, General Flu Type Feeling.

Monday 10/20 - Only Slept from 5:30 AM to 9:00 AM. It was a very rough and painful night. DEEP DEEP Pain radiating from my bones to my skin. Very unbearable and enough to make you consider cutting off your limbs. On a scale from 1-10 (10 being worse), my daytime was about a 7 and Evening an 8.

Tuesday 10/21 - Awake till 6AM and then slept on and off till about Noon with maybe 4 hours of actual sleep. The pain was horrible in the early morning and I gave in and took a Tylenol 3 at 5AM. It probably helped me get those few hours of sleep, but I really hope it didn't set me back. I also take Klonopin 1 mg each night for sleep, but it hasn't helped at all since stopping the tramadol. Daytime was not too bad and I though - Hey maybe I turned the corner already! WRONG - by eveining my pain and symptoms were a 10+. My wife bought epsom salt, Magnessium Pills, and sports cream to try to combat the restless arms/legs. They seam to help short term, but not enough to sleep.

Wedsday 10/22  - Wide awake to 5:30AM and fell asleep after taking my 3rd bath of the night. Awoke one hour later at 6:30AM to the most Horrible Pain and ANXIETY that I'd Ever Felt. Got up and took a HOT shower and calmed down a little and then decided stay up and write the post. I feel about a 7 right now with brain zaps, RLS, insomnia, anxiety, and feeling depressed and hopeless. Not sure how the rest of the day will go, but I'll try to keep the withdrawal update/timetable going.

Thursday 10/23 DAY 5 - pretty much the same as Wed.

Friday 10/24 DAY 6 - Feeling a little better overall. Slept from 5AM to 9AM and then was able to take a nap from 4PM to 6PM.  Most sleep in one day since beginning withdrawals.  My overall feeling is about a 6 on the 1-10 scale with 10 being the worse.

Saturday 10/25 DAY 7 - Limited sleep again as I was awake most of the night (early sat morning).  I think I dosed off on the couch around 5AM after dealing with RLS all night again.  Slept till 10 AM, so 5 hours of sleep in one shot is pretty good.  I felt fair during the day and kept myself busy with watching college football - GO GREEN - MSU!  Went and took a walk this evening for 30 minutes at the ocean.  My wife took a job in FL last April and we moved from the snow of northern MI.  Being on Trams the whole time, I feel this whole move is a foggy memory and I want to experience life again - even if it means enduring some pain due to my neuropathies.  Today was a 4/5 on the scale.

Sunday 10/26 DAY 8 TODAY -  Wow I slept straight through last night from 12AM to 9AM without even waking up.  I did take 3/4 of a Tylenol 3 before bed to help with pain.  I woke up in time to watch the Detroit Lions playing in London this morning at 9:30AM.  Sadly they are losing.  Anyways I don't feel the greatest this morning maybe about a 6 on the scale, but hope the sleep will help me have a better day.

Thank You for reading everyone!

^ I had my last tramadol (25 mg, a half of a 50 mg tablet) Friday morning (2 days ago), and I feel OK now (Sunday afternoon) but according to what you have written above -- that you hit the worst at 3 - 5 days later -- I can expect tomorrow and Tuesday to be hell.
I took gabapentin the past 2 nights for the restless legs.  Then I got on the scale and at first I thought the scale must be broken -- it said I gained 12 pounds in the past 6 weeks, and 5 of those pounds in the past 4 days!  Uh, no, I did NOT eat an extra 7000 calories a week for the past few weeks, nor did I cut back on my normal exercise.  Sure enough, I read that gabapentin can cause instant weight gain.  F--k that.
So I am going to see how I feel tonight.  I do have to work tomorrow and Tuesday so can't really go through major withdrawals on those days.

I feel like crap, like a bad cold/cough/general malaise, so I took a sick day tomorrow and I see my doc at 4:30 pm.

IndigoIris,
I don't think that Gababentin causes weight gain. I was on it for shingles, and my doctor said it also helps with anxiety. I was on it for 6 months and didn't gain a pound. I was also on tramadol at the same time. When I got off tramadol, I lost weight during the 7 day withdrawal period, then put on the 5lbs I lost, plus an additional 10lbs almost overnight. Tramadol increases the serotonin in your brain which gives you energy and decreases your appetite. When you stop tramadol, your body craves serotonin thus you are more likely to eat carbs and sugar to have to good feeling again....then the weight gain starts to appear. I finally lost the weight over time, and took over the counter 5-HTP for energy and appetite suppressant. It helped.
Hope you feel better!

^thank you Meganann.  This is day 3 with no tramadol for me, and my 5-HTP just came in the mail, so I took it (100 mgs) with my B6 supplement between meals.  I also have L-Tyrosine (500 mgs), I am going have to get into a habit of taking one an hour before breakfast, then the other in the hours between lunch and dinner.

And I ended up taking gabapentin last night because the RLS wouldn't let me sleep. I even took a short bath with magnesium epsom salts at about 2 am.   I ended up sleeping from about 6 am to 11 am.
I was already at the top of my acceptable weight 6 weeks ago (BMI about 24.5), now this 12 pound gain makes me officially overweight.  The funny thing is my clothes fit the same, it feels like bloating and just a loose, jiggly feeling in my abdomen more than any actual weight gain anywhere.

I am worried because I took a sick day today but go back tomorrow, and I have no idea if I will feel like crap tonight again.  I go to my gyn today.  She would most likely give me a scrip for tramadol (it was that gyn office that gave me my first scrip years ago, before I went online for tramadol).  I also can get ultracet from a relative.  I just don't know.  I'd rather stay off the tramadol.  I'll tell her about the L-tyrosine and the 5HTP and see if she thinks that is enough to get me through this withdrawal & post-withdrawal period and still be able to function at a full time job.

^I am very, very lucky, as far as self-esteem issues, that my husband has always liked fuller figured women, Marilyn Monroe-esque (I guess today's equivalents would be Christine Hendricks or Sophia Vergera) -- and he is also a little overweight, like I am now, so he is not making me feel unattractive about the weight. I admit that although I didn't eat many MORE calories, I did eat the WRONG calories -- instant sugar foods like pumpkin pie, cheesecake, and ice cream, (and I even put whopped cream on the ice cream!) when normally for a snack I would have fresh fruit, Greek yogurt, or nuts -- over the past few weeks, I did have a carb carving since coming down and off the tramadol. Well I be back on to report what my doc says later.

^whipped cream not "whopped"

carb craving, not "carving"

I am still tram free - dr. (gyn) said I had to go to my family dr. as far as a prescription for tramadol or any other antidepressant was concerned. She did tell me to add primrose oil to my arsenal of supplements.

Getting ready to go to my job with zero tramadol taken for the first time! All of last week, I was taking 18.75 to 25 mgs. tram (1/2 of the ultracets or the regular tramadols) before leaving for work, they were like a security blanket to me I guess.

I slept really well from before midnight until 7 am -- took a 300 mg gabapentin and 100 5HTP at about 10 am, then took a hot magnesium epsom salt bath for just my legs for about 15 minutes, at about 11 pm, and made sure I drank a full cup of water after because I was told those salts drain your body of hydration . . . and had no noticeable RLS overnight.

Hello Everyone - Monday day 9 started out good. I slept through the night again (Sunday/Early Monday) with the help of a half of Tylenol 3. Daytime I felt about a 3 or 4 with 10 being worst. I swam for 20 minutes late morning and went for a 1 hour walk in the late afternoon. Exercise felt good, but I felt bad RLS in feet/legs/hands in the Evening. I tried going to bed Monday around 11PM, but the pain was too much to endure. Night pain was a 9 on my scale from 1-10.

Tuesday 10/28 DAY 10 - Had to take 3/4 of Tylenol 3 at 1 AM due to RLS pain. Finally went to sleep around 3AM and woke at 8:45AM. Don't feel the greatest today and worry that the Tylenol 3's are hindering my recovery. I've only taken them at night and usually 1/2 - 3/4 of an tablet. I wasn't expecting such a painful night, as it was as bad as some of my peak sleepless nights pain early on. I guess we'll see how tonight goes, as I'm going to try to tolerate any pain and not take any T3. Still feel foggy and depressed, but from what I've researched - this could go on for a while. Everyone stay strong - Tramadol can be beat!

Glad to see some recent success stories.spartyfan & Indigloris !!! Hang in there ! Do what ya gotta do ... One Ty 3 every few days is better than the trams for now . Down the road stick with the GABA and 5htp . I'm 26 days outta the woods and FINALLY had 8 hrs sleep last 2 nights ... Uninterrupted ! With NOTHING ! Have been struggling with energy and motivation and some depression still! But it is true. It does get better. A week and a half ago I was happy to sleep 2-3 hrs a day ! Today was first day I felt somewhat normal ! Oh ya ... Mtgs and support from my AA buds certainly help ! God bless and good health to all .... I miss my tramadol ... I do NOT miss the BS that came with it !

The morning at my job went OK -- but in the afternoon, I felt glum and tired. But not true depression, One symptom I have had for a couple of weeks now is crazy bursts of sneezing a few times a day. Anyway, I am going to nap for an hour or so now. ^Thanks for posting Sparty and Onceclean&serene.

Today I was woken after only about 3 hours of sleep and I was in the foulest, blackest, most depressed, self-loathing mood that did not begin to lift until 3 or so in the afternoon, And I was at my job most of the day. I doubt I will get any help from any regular medical dr. but still dutifully made my appt. for next Monday. I don't want to be on any anti-depressant. I did take my 5HTP in the morning and L-Tyrosine in the afternoon.
Still so excited that I haven't taken any tram for a few days!

Happy for you IndigoIris. I remember the feeling the first few days I was off tramadol too, as I was very excited as well. Antidepressant helped me for the first few months.....don't be afraid to go on Prozac, it helps with depression and anxiety. I took 5HTP too..

^thanks

Indigolris how are you doing same apply to everone else, this drug is a ***** to get off, had a good few days hope its the turning point x

^ my turning point was around 4 months......every day will only get better. You may have a day occasionally you don't feel good, but nothing like before. We also made a major move to another state at 4 months......which was SO much work and I don't know how I did it. I'm still not 100%, but maybe I am. I'm expecting the energy I had when I was on tram, but now maybe I'm normal like everyone else who doesn't take pain pills.

I feel 100% better today.

Have not touched the gabapentin for 4 days I think. This is the drug that my tramadol pharmacist sent to me to help with restless legs, and, yes, it did work for me. Even though gabapentin is itself addictive, I know how horrible the nighttime restless legs are from tram withdrawal and I highly recommend a low dose (300 mg) gabapentin an hour before bedtime for the first week or two of tramadol withdrawal. I also take a calcium 500/magnesium 250/D3 200 supplement every day, and try to get at least 5 minutes direct sunlight every day, to help with bone aches and pains. I also have the magnesium bath salts and I have jumped in the hot bath with the salts at 3 am to help with the legs. Just listing all of this to help anyone who can't bear the withdrawals because of the restless legs and leg aches in ankles, knees, and hips.

*

^nothing new from anyone?
I felt great all day. I did wake up from a nap awhile ago and had that ankle joint pain, it just appears randomly since coming off the tram. Took my supplements that have magnesium and hope that helps.

That is awesome news Indigolris ! I am on day 31 ... No anything ... About 35 days without trams . Sleep is seemingly back to normal. ! 6 -7 hrs uninterrupted . Eating like I'm going to the electric chair tho ! However I am still struggling with energy , motivation and lethargy . Thighs and low back still ache BAD...and yes ankles ache too! ! I'm taking only Advil and Alieve only now......And Doritos ! Peace and good health ...

^First, Congrats on getting 30+ days in.  That alone is a miracle after being on tramadol or some other painkiller for many years.

"However I am still struggling with energy , motivation and lethargy" . . . I am really struggling with the MENTAL part of the whole thing.  Now that I don't have to support my monthly tramadol habit ($250 - $300+) I am like, why am I going to this fancy corporate job just so I can pay for everyone else in my family to have a cell phone?  I am feeling just selfish right now.  I dislike my job and my home life and used the tramadol to mellow my feelings and allow me to do the daily routine robotically.  I still want to fund my retirement, help my kids (ages 18 and 16, still in high school) with college, and get another used vehicle and a cheap little home somewhere.  Then retire in 15 years.  But right now . . . I feel completely apathetic toward my job.  Would like to stay there until my youngest is 18 and graduated High School, so that's almost 3 more years.

I hope everyone else is doing OK.  I am taking 500 L-tyrosine and 100 5HTP a day and so far haven't been slammed with that extreme depression I felt back in early October.

*

You hit It on the head IndigoIris.  The mental part is a killer for sure.  I was a basket case at day 11, no motivation, energy and felt lethargic.  It's going to take time to feel better.  It doesn't happen overnight, unfortunately.  It takes 6 months and probably a year to feel great again.  I don't want to scare you, but I didn't feel really good until 5 to 6 months off tramadol.  I went on Prozac for several months and that helped with anxiety, depression,and I didn't feel so lethargic anymore.  Yes, I gained weight....oh well.
What kept me clean all these months, is my sense of freedom.  I no longer have to count pills, wait for the package to come in the mail, and figure a way to pay the $300 to $400 a month.  I spent about $4,000 on these pills, and it kills me that I threw
this money away.  I'm overjoyed to be clean.  It was a living hell at times.....but hang in there you will feel better in the long run, much better than the high from tramadol.

^thanks. Unfortunately my mood did get worse and worse today back to the horrible depression I had a month ago == feeling suicidal, starting to cry at my desk, just feeling so awful with mental anguish. I also started a period mid-morning so there are hormonal fluctuations going on. Life just ***** today. Well, there is always tomorrow.

I feel better this morning. These mood swings really really stink, and the tramadol did take away my moodiness for the past 10 years (except of course I had that horrible morning wake-up anxiety sometimes when my last tramadol dose was more than 8 hours ago, and needed to gulp down trams with coffee then wait until it took effect). I work today and tomorrow, have weekend off, then Monday work, took Tuesday off for Veteran's Day so I can visit my Dad (a veteran of Korea, now in nursing home with Alzheimers), he does enjoy watching TV and last time I was there his TV was broken, the staff said they would try to fix it but I will get him a new one if he needs it. That's one of the great things about not having to buy tram anymore, a $200 - $300 TV purchase is not a big deal.

Tramadol put me in a better mood too in the morning. I don't drink coffee, but have a couple cans of diet coke to wake up, and sit and watch the news for 30 minutes before I have to get ready for the day. Glad to hear you are feeling better. Doesn't it feel good to buy a gift for someone you love, rather than throwing the money down the drain on pills. I wonder how people are getting tram on-line since it's a class III drug...must be really expensive.

In the U.S. it is Schedule 4 (with Schedule One being most strict control to Five being least) since August 18, and it is no longer offered at Walmart for $4 for a monthly scrip. I wonder why more people aren't on here posting about withdrawals .

Just wanted to see my ticker

^ that is awesome blockhead.

Hi,
Yesterday I was suicidally depressed.  Partly because I never got out for my morning walk in the sun and it just started the day off wrong.

Today, much better, it is nice and sunny and I got my hour out with the dogs at the park.

Also, the L-tyrosine and 5htp I was taking seemed to make me really nauseous, which made my mood worse yesterday.  I am taking a break from those today.  Back to the bare basic supplements for me: a multivitamin, fish oil, and calcium/magnesium/D3.  And a banana every morning for potassium.

I know this will pass, and I have had some good days already where I didn't feel depressed at all.

^ I should not have written "suicidally", obviously I am still alive. Just say I was extremely down and wanted the internal pain to end and really could do nothing but ride the bad mood out.

^so sorry to hear :((
Happy you are having some good days. The internal pain is horrible, and all you can do is ride it out. I don't know if you have a faith, but I prayed everyday to God for healing and discernment. It's a lonely and tough road.
Hope you have better and better days.

Indigolris, thats how I felt, it does get better slowly, hi meganann nice to see your still encouraging people, wished I never took the crap xx

^thanks blockhead and meganann, I realize it may take 3 - 6 months to get past this depression thing. Well I'm not going to give up on the healthy eating and supplements. Anyway, it's been more than 2 weeks with no tramadol. I really don't have any physical withdrawal symptoms left. I do have those weird sneezing fits still, but they are not painful at least.

Still taking L-Tyrosine 500 with a B6/12 supplement in mornings, and 50 5HTP around dinner. Those are low doses but I start to fee nauseated if I take more. Also the Calcium/magnesium/D3 supplement, plus 5+ minutes of sunshine every day if available (today is sunny!), And a daily multivitamin, and Omega Fish Oil capsule with a vitamin E. Last night I couldn't sleep again so took a gabapentin 300, but now I overslept this morning and I think it is because of the gabapentin. I get tired of all of these supplements and my family thinks it is funny. However, if it keeps that monster depression at least manageable, then I'll keep taking them. I also found some dark chocolate Godiva hot cocoa mix that I had hidden away in my kitchen for a couple of years -- that's what I'll be drinking while I sit in the sun today!

I have two strikes against me: I took tramadol for a long time (10 years), and I took a high daily dose (16 to 20 50mg pills a day, about twice the medically recommended limit, because my tolerance went up pretty quickly). However, on the plus side, it was the only drug I took for the past 10 years. And I am in very good health otherwise, I haven't even had any endometriosis flare-ups since coming off the tram and that was the condition for which I got the tram script in the first place. I have also been through the getting clean and sober thing before; in the early 90s I came off of an opiate addiction and did the whole 12-step program way for 7 years. Right now I read literature, including the SMART recovery handbook, and I post on here, but I haven't been to any "live" meetings yet. So I know I still have to get through to 30, then 60, then 90 days clean and sober and even then I am still "newly" clean . . . but right now it's just one day at a time and this too shall pass when I get negative about anything. How is everyone else? I did expect to see a lot more people here getting clean of tramadol at this point in time.

Feel great this morning -- about 8 am -- let's see what the day brings!

Now 9:30 pm. The problems from here on are going to be almost all mental -- I used tramadol to keep myself complacent and even apathetic about working a full time job that I now realize I absolutely despise. It's meaningless, but I don't know a better way to get by. And I have a full 15 - 18 years to retirement.
I still get some crazy coughing and sneezing fits, at least 3 - 6 times a day. Lingering withdrawals I guess.
Well, good night everyone out there (is there anybody out there?)!

Indigolris your doing so good,the mental thing is the worst thing,I still have the sneezing thing not as much as at the beginning of my withdrawal

In a way IndigoIris.  You are 18 days out, and your brain is trying to heal itself without the stimulus of tramadol that it was use to for 10 years or so.  It takes time for all the connections to work properly.  Just like if you broke your leg,  you have to endure physical therapy and learn to walk again after being in a cast for months.
I'd much rather break a bone than go thru this withdrawal and PAWS ever again.  I'm just starting to be and act normal again.  It's friggin hell.  The good news is so many people on this thread have been clean for years.  The letheracy, depression, anxiety, brain zaps, sneezing, restless legs, insomia all go away in time.
Blockhead, you are almost 5 months along !!  I remember thinking I would never get this far, and it's been truly one day at a time that I tell myself I'm not going to use ever again.  I don't care if I lose friends because I not as social as I use to be, or family members gossip because they can see a change in me, and it wasn't good especially in the early days, and they didn't understand.  I don't care, I only care about getting healthy and becoming a better me.  Screw everybody else

"I don't care, I only care about getting healthy and becoming a better me. Screw everybody else ". I agree, no one can or should come between you and your goal of a healthy life free of these destructive drugs.

Only thing today was feeling irritable in the afternoon, restless, and no tramadol to give me that temporary feeling of well being. So I went for a short walk before the sun set, would have liked to have walked more but it is now getting COLD -- I live in the Northeast U.S.A., I think the entire country except FL is getting hit with cold weather.
I know I have to be patient . . . will be proud to have 30 days soon!

I took 3 50 mg tramadol for 2 1/2 yrs. I am 108 days off of it. I am still having some very bad days with depression. When does it get better?

Im on 143 days and still having some bad days, from what I read I can take a long time, I was doing 10-14 a day for 2 years and 4 months

^I can't think that far ahead (over 100 days). I need to believe I will get better every day. This morning the anxiety was bad, but it's no worse than when I would be so knocked out from tramadol the night before that I couldn;t even get up in the morning and would be late for work.

Woke up with a back pain that just acetaminophen and aspirin wouldn't touch all day, I finally took gabapentin before bed and it got rid of most of the pain. Slept from 10pm to 1 am, now up again. Drank one of my Yogi Kava teas and hope I can go back to sleep soon. I never felt back pain while on tramadol, so this is new for me.

So sorry to hear IndigoIris.  Hope you sleep better tonight and your back feels better.

I just had my annual blood work and when I was on tramadol for 5 years, taking a high dose, 10 to 15 pills a days my Red blood count was always very low, however my lab worked showed it's back to normal and no liver problems.  I thought for sure I damaged my liver, luckily I'm ok.  In fact all my numbers were perfect....so happy.

I know everyone says to hang in there......but that's all you can do !!!  We are/were in the same boat and it's horrible the first month or so, but you will see brighter days ahead of you.  I found i turned a corner at 30 days, and was so thrilled I made it that far and that I was really doing it.  You are doing the best thing and that's to post how you are feeling.  That in itself helped me.

^ that is great news, about the blood work and liver.  That's one of the things I always felt guilty about as I downed another set of tramadols -- how the hell is my liver handling all of this?  I just went through a bunch of exams and did fine. But not a full blood work up, I will do that in 2015.  I am starting to take milk thistle now for my liver.

The back pain went away by Tuesday, Nov. 20.  I have no complaints for the rest of the week as far as withdrawal symptoms.  I can't wait until Monday -- as long as I stay away from tramadol this weekend, I will have my 30 day ticker!  There is only one person I know who has tram and they live 45 minutes away from me, so I doubt any tram is going to magically appear in front of me.  However, Thanksgiving is coming, with visits to relatives, and I am going to have to plan in advance how to avoid asking for any.

Maybe taking L-tyrosine (500) with B6/12 in the morning, and 5HTP (50) in the evening, for a few weeks now, has helped keep the depression away?  I hear HORRIBLE stories on line of people trying to withdraw from SNRIs (namely, Effexor and Cymbalta) and I don't relate to it at all, my experience so far has been getting more back to how I was pre-tramadol every day.  In fact, unless I am on a pink cloud or something, I feel like I am 85% back to clean and sober self.

Yes, the thoughts trickle in my head at times if I could get some tramadol. My problem is I couldn't just take one. I know I would end up taking many throughout the day as I had so much energy and was rarely hungry, BUT, I would be back to square one withdrawal again,and I can't go thru that again.
That's great you are almost back to normal and ticker is almost at one month ! Holidays are stressful, that's for sure. Just think by Christmas you will be almost 2 months clean, sober and feel even better.

^ thank you Meganann.

Today I felt depressed and as soon as I noted that on my tracker here, an ad for an antidepressant popped up on my screen. This is very irritating, I despise with a passion the way the advertising industry has us all tracked to the very second we enter some information on line. I am pretty sure it is the f------g antidepressant in tramadol that has me in this numb shell-shocked place now in the first place.

I can't do this anymore. I have been suicidal for the past couple of hours. I will have to call the counseling center and have them put me on an antidepressant, it's either that or I go away to a treatment center and leave my family and job for a week or two. I have been clinically depressed 3x in my life, years before I ever heard of tramadol. And it is back with a vengeance. I am just so angry, more brain damage from antidepressants. Of course my family is suffering with me acting this way but I have nowhere else to go. This *****,

Oh, when I was depressed before, 2x I was in residential treatment for it, the 3rd time outpatient, and they gave me Prozac.

Please think about taking Prozac. I was on It for 3 months, 10 mgs. It helped me so much, then I was weaned off.

It's better to take Prozac then to go back on tramadol. I had no problem getting off Prozac. I pray you are feeling better soon.

^ I am leaning toward asking for Prozac. I did not have problems when I came off it in my past either.

I already feel better. It's usually from noon - 1 until 6 pm or so that I get these horrible moods,

Indigolris when you put the other day about being on a pink cloud, that was a good day for you, hang onto the good days, things will get better ive been suicidal during the withdrawal off this crap, im on antidepressants,mirtazapine, they do help x

Ok folks....  i'm back and i want to share with you all.....

i was on this board back in 2009/10.  at the time i was at my highest tramadol intake per day (400mg's/day).  over the years i would slowly taper down and get down to 2-3 pills per day, but them being the dependent that i am on this drug i would give myself a reason to take extra dosages and then i would be back to where i was.

in the end i worked myself down to 3 pills per day for about 4 months and leveled off there.  Here is the kicker, no matter how many pills we take daily....  for anyone one of us who has been through acute withdrawals, there is no greater fear than the thought of going through withdrawal.  Our minds will tell us anything to get that extra fix. The mental part is way more hurtful than the physical part.

Here is where i believe that 99% of us need outside help.  Mine came 18 months ago when my wife found my stash.  At that point i held nothing back and told her the truth.  Of course she was hurt, but most of all she wanted to help me.  The next day we went to my PCP and worked out a plan for tapering.  i tapered down a quarter of a pill per week until i got down to half a pill (25mgs) a day.  i held this intake for a month and then i dropped down to a quarter of a pill (12.5mgs) per day.  i held this intake for 4 weeks and then took the jump off.

I won't lie to you and tell you that i didn't have nights of being uncomfortable, but it was nothing like going through acute withdrawals.  BUT I NEVER WOULD'VE MADE IT WITHOUT THE HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY.  I have read emily's story and i know that very few folks can do it on their own, but the rest of us need to swallow our pride and get help.  If you really want to quit than it becomes the only option.

One of the benifits of a super slow taper is that when your accurately get down to the low amounts the mental aspect of withdrawals are very minimum.  i mean i was at my last two dosages for almost 2 months so by the time i was clean my mind game had already become accustomed to being places and events without my pills.  i knew that i was going to have enough for me to sleep soundly.

two little helpers that i used throughout this process was clonidine and zquil.  i used the clonidine only a couple of times and that was the day or so that i took a step down. it helped with the anxiety and RLS.  I use the zquil to help sleep.

People i've been since april of this year and i can't imagine being so dependent on that drug again.  Please stay strong and keep fighting on.  i'm gonna be around to offer my support.  Your burden is now my burden to help carry

i also must say on some bad nights i would take 6 immodium AD's. It is a opiate that doesn't effect your brain. it always took about and hr or 2 to kick in, but it would help on bad days.

Thanks 1113. When the tramadol turned on me and I was ready to quit I went to a detox center as I didn't know about tapering from this drug. I was given subconox that's suppose to help with the withdrawal pain, however it made me so sick. I went from 10 to 15 tram a day to zero in detox, and wanted to die. I even took a few before I headed to the center....that's how addicted I was. When I left the treatment center the drug was out of my system, and PAWS took over.....that was worse than the withdrawal as it lasts much longer. I went on Prozac for a few months and that helped with my moods and anxiety. You are correct that you need support. I told one girlfriend and my husband. They both completely supported me and listened to my aches and pains, and kept my confidence. I was also very ashamed of myself, as I'm the most straight lace person you would meet, but I had a deep dark secret. I also saw a Psychiatrist that helped encourage me and when I got to the point I didn't need Prozac anymore tapered me off, and I had no side effects.
This has taught me you can't judge a book by its cover. Under the right circumstances anyone can become addicted to pain pills. I now get it, and understand how difficult it is to recover from tramadol or most pain meds. I'm about 8 months clean, and happy I finally feel better and I'm not throwing money away.

Megan, that sub is like using a sledgehammer to kill a fly.  that stuff is harder than the tram.  i'm glad you were able to beat it though.  i never would've had i not got help.

my PCP was very patient and wrote me a script for tramadol that covered my entire tapering plan and marked my file to next describe trams anymore.  I know that we all have different personalities so it effects us so much different.  For me, i just needed to continue to be to out playing soccer or going out with friends and families.  When i was in my environment i was having some much fun that i wouldn't think about it....  My little reminders would pop up to take my dosage, and i would.  i went from counting down the hours to letting the time remind me. so when i took my final jump off the 12.5mg's after 4 weeks i was mentally ready to be without my friend tramadol

i think that it is important to know that when your tapering you need to spread it out very evenly throughout the day.  the idea is to not let a dose spike your blood.

Hello,
This is my first time posting but I have read the forums for awhile. This is my story and perhaps someone can help me. I took Tramadol for 5 and a half years due to being hit by a drunk driver. I took anywhere from twelve to sixteen pills a day of the 50mg. The last year I was on I used it to ween down and I jumped off at 100mg. Tramadol seemed to turn on me and gave me all kinds of unwanted side effects towards the end. I hated myself on them since I became anti social and felt like a zombie. On August 7 I finally quit and have NOT been tempted to take one since.

I took Xanax at 0.75 for about a month to help with the acute physical withdrawals. I seem to have been hit HARD by PAWS. I am in despair and at the lowest point of my life. I pray and cry daily to have some kind of relief. I know this won't go away overnight, but it feels this is really testing me. PAWS seems to be way worse than the acute withdrawal. Maybe someone on here who has gone through this can shed some light or tell me if this is normal? My PAWS symptoms are:

1. Anxiety
2. General uncomfortable feeling that lingers through my days.
3. Depression
4. Heart palpitations at times
5. Foggyness

I have done all kinds of things to alleviate the symptoms. I go out for a run/walk every night. I changed my diet and I eat more healthy. While this has helped and seemed for the last few weeks I was getting better and the side effects weren't as intense, this last week they popped up again and it seems to be back strong again. I try to stay positive but this is really testing me. The anxiety for me seems to be the worst. I feel like this will last forever and I will be stuck in this personal hell for the rest of my days. Can someone please shed some light on their symptoms or if this is normal? Any advice? My heart and prayers go out to ALL of you during this time. Thank you so much.

It's normal. For me Paws was way worse than withdrawal because it lasts so long. You seem to be doing everything right. It takes time for your brain to heal as you (and all of us) altered our normal brain function with the tramadol for years in some cases, high doeses. I felt like you too, when would I ever feel better ? I hate to say this however I had a breakthrough at 6 months clean......it might be less time for you or more time. Emily has posted that it took her an entire year to feel great again. I hope to be feeling even better at one year. My advice is when you feel tired, rest. Socialize when you are up to it as your endorphins kick in. I think Emily said, "hold on, it's a bumpy ride and you will feel better than you ever felt on tramadol." Take it on day at a time, I promise you will feel better. I was on a high dose too for 5 years.x

Thank you Megan! Im glad to know I'm not going crazy or thinking I have permanent brain damage. Which PAWS symptoms for you have been the worst? When you had your breakthrough, what seems to have gotten better? Hope you don't mind the questions, but I feel I am alone and desperate for any kind of knowlege or assurance. I thank you so much for your advice and kind words, it truly means a lot!

Worse PAWS for me: horrible anxiety, lack of energy, foggy brain, and depression., and trouble sleeping. I use to cry too as I wanted my old, fun person back. I was always so tired, not sleepy but needed to rest so much.
I was probably building up to a breakthrough, as one morning I woke up and felt good. I had been getting out more with friends which I think helped heal my brain. The more socializing I did, even though my skin would crawl at month two or three and I didn't last long at functions I knew my brain was making connections. All the symptoms I listed above simply diminished over time. I'm still anxious, but nothing like before. I still take a melatonin at bedtime to help me fall asleep. I listened to my body and when I was tired I rested and watched tv, and sometimes pushed myself to get outside and walk and talk with friends. I don't mind the questions at all.....I wanted to know as well when I would feel better, and many people on the boards posted around 6 months or longer.

you know that Tram messes with your Serotonin levels and I wonder for you folks that use Xanax to help ween if that is adding to your PAWS in the end.

if it's at all possible, try talking to your PCP and suggest a long long taper.... It took my 8 weeks to go from .25 to 0 mg. that seems like prolonging it, but i'm telling you my body didn't freak out. i took 8-10 pills a day for 7 years

You described all of my symptoms I have Meganann! The skin crawling thing would freak me out at first, and I would get it more when going out to eat at a noisy restaurant or even when being around people, my head would even feel tight at times. Its like the Tramadol wanted me back and not to be with people and to go back to my antisocial person I was when I was taking it.

Each day is a challenge and I feel like I am going to war with these demons, but I refuse to let this control my life. I lost friends, my girlfriend, money, all while on this stuff because I would seclude myself. I just want a second chance to show the real me. I have a lot left to give and desparetely want the old Manny back.

It's Thanksgiving Day in the States:
Well, I am thankful that I feel "myself" at least 50% of the time again.

I have ZERO cravings for tramadol. As far as physical withdrawal, sometimes I get very faint restless legs syndrome, and sometimes insomnia, but I use gabapentin &/or an herbal mix with melatonin, valerian root, and magnesium for that.

The main problem now has been learning how to live life, fill my days, and I still get depression and anxiety, and just an inability to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. It's difficult at times but I read somewhere on line that it would probably be between 6 - 12 weeks before I felt a breakthrough to whatever the next level of recovery is. So I don't have far to go.

Thanks to everyone who shares here, I really need this place sometimes.

Hello Indigolris,

Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone else on this board as well! Congrats on your huge accomplishment! With time you will see improvements, slowly but surely.

I myself have ups and downs, some days I feel better than others, this will pull you in all directions on a daily basis. But even in PAWS (which I consider purgatory) is still much better than being a prisoner to a substance of any kind and have that hanging over your head every day. A short while of pain to endure for a lifetime of happiness and an appreciation for the little things in life seems like a fair trade off!

Just wanted to check in , I haven't posted since my hell week back in July, but I have been reading . Just dealing with the day to day now, doin pretty good though. My only problem really is waking up in the a.m.. When I first wake up if I try to lay there then I feel bad, I just have to get up and get going then all is ok. I also wake a lot earlier than I used to , but that could be a good thing. I hope everyone is doing well and had a great Thanksgiving day here in the states, for those reading and struggling, trust me it ***** but you CAN do it. And there is life after trammadol.

with love and prayers for you all.....

Ditch

forgot this

Looking back I do see progress in my PAWS symptoms. The things that I see progression is in the severity of the symptoms. In month one of being clean, I couldn't even be around people it seemed like because of the terrible restless anxiety, major irritability, inability to focus. Not feeling as mentally sharp as I once was. But VERY slowly they have somewhat gotten better.

Progress is key, and thats what gives me hope to be better in the months ahead. For anyone wanting or just starting to get off Tramadol, don't let PAWS or withdrawal scare you. Once you are out of that hell and daily fear of taking Tramadol, each day clean will be one step closer to being the person you truly want to be. We all deserve a second chance, and you will have your day in the sun!

^ I am hanging on to the words of those of you who are a couple of months ahead of me in life without tramadol.

This is Day 35 for me - 5 weeks - and I am writing down my symptoms and anything else I think is relevant in a journal.  I am not happy about the now 16-pound weight gain I have had in the past 3 months (since I started my serious taper in September -- and almost all in my abdomen) but I will just keep eating healthy and exercising, eventually want to join a gymn and do weight lifting and other weight resistant exercises.  Right now I depend on daily walking.  I am 52 so definitely not pregnant but I look like I am about 5 months pregnant.  When I first went on the tramadol back in 2004, I lost 25 pounds in about 4 -5 months, without even trying, so I guess this is just the situation balancing itself out.

I also wake up feeling a dread of life and of having to get up.  Usually after drinking a cup of coffee and waiting a few minutes, I feel OK to get up.

I guess this is all normal antidepressant withdrawal, it takes much longer than just pure opiate withdrawal.

Honestly, this past afternoon was awful since about noon, I am just starting to feel better. I even called information and asked for the suicide hotline, they put me through to some mental health hotline that had a recorded message - "Please call us during our regular hours, 8 am to 8 pm M - F". So I guess those of us who feel suicidal over the weekend are s--t out of luck, right? So I took 2 (600 mg) gabapentin then went for a ride with my husband to the local nature park, saw some deer and wild turkey, then drove a little bit more, then a song I really like, "Eminence Front", The Who, came on and my mood just changed back to OK. I am really angry and also sad that quitting this drug can cause such mental devastation. I knew the acute initial withdrawal week was bad, but didn't expect to feel worse mentally than I have ever felt in my entire life on day 35.

^exactly Indiogoiris. Almost everyone can handle a week of hell detoxing from tramadol, and it does seem PAWS lingers on forever. The weight gain is a killer for sure. I swear our metabolism must change too. I had an initial 10 lb gain to my stomach too, and finally got most of it off, but don't feel as strong as I once was.
I'm sorry to hear about your thoughts regarding suicide, and can't believe it's not a 24 hour service. I'm having a down day too, and not sure why. Maybe it's normal to have a day here and there where you don't feel yourself. I never had suicidal thoughts, however felt like crap for a long time. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

I also have had thoughts of suicide, while I never in my wildest dreams would do it,it has crossed my mind on those bad days where I feel like crap. Its normal to feel that way, we just have to ride out the bad wave.

I think of this PAWS as a rite of passage, we have to suffer and grit our teeth, and fight hard like we never had before to reach paradise. Is it hard? YES! But we are all strong and it can be done!

I like that thought imanny, " PAWS is a rite of passage". I'm ready for paradise !!

I am still hanging on. Thanks for your encouragement. 6 weeks coming up!

Indigolris you are doing rearly well, all the feelings your having are a exactly what ive had,and still do but not as bad as at the first few months,I never thought id make it this far but I have and every week get a little better x

you guys keep hanging on.... i'm gonna keep suggesting that if anyone has a good relationship with their PCP try talking to them about the long long taper that i did.

for those of you who are already off this drug and just trying to get by the day to day.... you gotta stay strong and get a support system. Also be honest with your support people, tell them what's going on in your head. tell them when you have negative thoughts...

if we are alone it makes this journey that much harder

^still reading. Made an appointment with a counselor for next Tuesday to talk about stuff.

Im a day shy of 4 months clean. Today I'm having a bad day. Anxiety is through the roof. I notice when I take a hot shower that the anxiety dies down a bit, so that helps for me. The uncomfortableness is still present that lasts all day.

I am glad that I have all of you here to talk to. I wasn't going to make an account to be honest out of fear what others might think or say. But its a huge weight off of my shoulders to get this off my chest to others. Im trying to stay strong and positive and not let this beat me. Im in the toughest battle of my life in the middle of a twelve round fight with nothing left in my tank.

I have been praying for all of you to find peace on here. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

The freakin anxiety hangs on the longest. I still get anxious, and wonder when it will go away for good. I still don't have all my energy back, and have to keep telling myself my brain is still healing and truly believe it takes a good year to a "new normal". I was on a ton of tramadol for five years and really screwed up my brain, however I'm going to make it through this too. It's great to hear from everyone as we feel each other's pain.

Do you still have the uncomfortable feeling that lasts all day Meganann? Or did that go away after your breakthrough you had at around 6 months? Can you describe your level of anxiety and how long you get it for if possible?

We know that it does get better, cuz my symptoms are less severe than in month one for example, it just tests our patience.

Yes it does test your patience. No I don't have that uncomfortable feeling anymore. I know what you are talking about. I had that horrible feeling for 5 or 6 months.

I wake up anxious and it lasts all day. I'm trying to relax my mind and get out and walk in the fresh air. That helps for a short period of time. I get really jumpy when I hear noises and never was like that. Hopefully it will go away soon.

I'm so glad your symptoms have gotten better over time!! Is your anxiety that lasts all day still as bad as the first few months or has that gotten better too? I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts and hope you get relief soon!

No, the anxiety is not as bad as the beginning. Everything really does get better, however I experience a day here and there that I feel like crap, but NOTHING like the first several months. Praying helps a lot too, and will pray for you and others on the board.

Thank you very much Meganann! I appreciate the prayers and will also pray for you and everyone else on here to get better and feel relief and peace.

Prayer has been the only thing that has kept me sane during this time. =)

Today seems to be a much better day than yesterday. I notice when I don't eat early that I will feel bad later on in the day. Drinking plenty of water and staying hydrated early on in the day also helps. Weird that these small everyday things can make a difference in the way I feel.

Time is my worst friend as well as my best friend right now. A million thank you's for everyone on here that has listened or given me advice. It truly means a lot.

Just want to see the ticker - 6 weeks today.

Still having horrible depression.

The only thing keeping me going right now is rage at our country's health care system.  I am at the point of harming myself (hitting self in head and face, banging head against wall) just to relieve the pain that is in my head for a little while.  This has been going on a couple of weeks.  I have paid between $5000 - $10,000 a year over the past 14 years of employment into my health insurance premiums/ co-pays/ deductibles and co-insurance -- and now that I desperately need help, I get told to try primrose oil and go make an appointment with another dr.?  My couples counselor had to step in 2 weeks ago and tell his employer that I was desperate and needed individual counseling, otherwise no one would have called me and set up an appointment, which I have for this Tuesday night.  That is strictly for talk therapy though..

Also, my father died last weekend, he had late stage dementia so it was not a surprise, but I am sure that subconsciously it is hurting.  Both of my parents dies in 2014.  But I didn't feel this depression until I stopped the tramadol.

Sorry to put such bad news here but maybe it will discourage someone from ever abusing this drug tramadol.  I have been through major opiate withdrawal before and it's a week or so of hell, then you progressively get better and better.  What I am going through now is incomprehensible to me.  Getting worse after 43 days off?  Bulls**t.  And I have to work full time, I am the sole breadwinner and still have my son, a high school sophomore, at home.  No in patient treatment for me.  I am so angry right now.  At least it gave me the energy to get up and get dressed so we can just go out ANYWHERE, just so I don;t sit in my room and think about killing myself.

Well it is the evening now, and for some reason I usually feel more relaxed after the sun sets. I have hope that if I can make it to 90 days, I will be out of the darkness so to speak.  And I am almost at the 45-day "halfway" mark. I know you can't put time limits on this, but somewhere around 90 days it seems most feel like the worst is over.
I have read back on the other EmilyPost Journals and see that many people get hit with clinical depression, even while they are still tapering.  Yes I did bang my head against the bathroom wall today, but not hard enough to bruise, still, this is really awful for me and this is worse than the post-partum depression I had with my daughter 18 years ago, where I went to an 8-day in-patient facility and was put on Prozac.  I am willing to use Prozac again as a temporary aid to get out of this depression.
A surprise blessing:  I am now talking to a cousin that I had lost touch with for something like 30 years -- he is active in the 12-step programs so he is someone who understands the crazy feelings we go through once we stop our drugs of choice.
My husband was pretty angry yesterday and today because of my being depressed, he thinks this should have been over and done with weeks ago.  I told him that I thought it would have been over by now, too, and imagine how pissed off I feel!  He is wonderful at doing all of the household stuff while I am feeling down.  And I am lucky that I know my job so well (been there 14 year) that I can still function OK while at work.
I don't think about my parents too much during the day but there are always things from the past that come up while I am falling asleep and in my dreams.  I do keep a journal for that stuff.
Sorry for posting such negative stuff, but I was told in the rooms of NA and AA that someone else might need to hear my experience to help them with theirs.  I do know that if you are really suicidal, there are live hotlines to call just to get you through the worst minutes or even hours.  (Yes I successfully found the right hotline number finally.)

@indigoIris

Hang in there! You are still so early in the process.  I promise, it does get better.!

I had a really hard time those first few months.  I reflect on it quite a bit and I can't believe the difference.  I remember wanting to bang my head against something just to make the feeling go away... kind of like a distraction. A distraction from the pain.. a distraction from the depression. I felt it might knock something back in place.  I just wanted the mental and physical pain to stop.  This is going to sound weird, but I had a strange craving for electricity.  I felt like I needed a jolt or something.  Even the static electricity pops from my blankets felt good.  Crazy, I know.

I was so depressed and so neurologically sensitive.  Sounds hurt my skin. Noises made me jump. I had weird crawly feelings on my skin and could feel weird staticy rolling electricity buzzes up and down my arms and legs.  I had weird vision.  I would have insane pain episodes. I remember telling my husband it felt like someone put me back together wrong.  Like taking a doll apart and forcing the pieces back together in the wrong sockets. Yuck!

I remember trying to work a makeup artistry event about 30 days out.  I don't know what happened, but as I started working on a client I felt really weird and anxious... skin felt weird all over. Immense nerve pain etc.  I had a major anxiety attack and broke out in a rash.  I thought I was dying.  I had to leave and go to the Dr.  He said nothing was wrong with me.  Had all the tests and looked healthy on paper.  Another event I tried to work, I was so anxious and I could not stand still.  I felt so overstimulated and I felt like if I didn't stop moving I was going to flip out.  I think there is a medical term for this symptom.  I had to take another job for a while, which was a work at home type.

I remember not wanting to go anywhere. I didn't want to try and talk to people. The noises hurt. The lights hurt. Too much stuff around me moving too fast. I thought I was bipolar for a while because of the ups and downs. Thought it would never end.

Like you, I had people around me not believing I could "still be going through this".  So frustrating.  This board was about the only place that kept me sane.

You have to be strong and this is a tough situation, but I believe it is temporary.  I am proof. I have to deal with my fibromyalgia sometimes... but other days I feel GREAT!

I am so proud of myself for being so strong and doing this!  I am glad that I toughed it out and got off this medicine.  I am still amazed every day that I am not waking up taking these pills and suffering through the weird side effects... feeling like a robot.  I am happy to have my goofy personality back! I forgot that i was actually funny!  Thought that was lost a long time ago :)

Those symptoms take time to fall away.  Let your body heal.  Be proud of yourself.  Be strong!

I meant to say... "if I didn't keep moving" I felt like I could not stay still or this weird energy would make me explode. I think it is called Akathisia

Hi Allinblack,

I can relate to everything you said, and experienced the hell you described. I'm 8 months clean, and more anxious than I think I should be. I was on tram for 5 years high dose towards end, 10 to 15 pills a day. I'm also proud of myself I made it this far, and remember the robot I was, and how empty I felt inside. I'm thankful to be healthy that I didn't screw up my liver.
When did your anxiety leave and do you remember at what point you felt great again?

@Meganann123

Hey!   I am proud of you too!  It is so nice to not feel like an empty shell.  I thought maybe its because I was getting older... but nope.. it was the meds.  I think i read tramadol in general is not that hard on your liver, as it doesn't have the acetometophen aspect like Vicodin.  However, I'm sure taking a lot of it long term cannot be good.  My liver turned out fine too.  I hope it stays that way.  I like my wine! :)

About anxiety, well, I have always had anxiety.  I had it even as a child.  So, I can't say that it ever left... but it is better than it was before the meds, if you can believe that!  I guess I was forced to deal with it during the more intense withdrawal induced anxiety.  There is definitely a difference between real anxiety and withdrawal anxiety.  Withdrawal anxiety is just awful and unrelenting.  You can't even pinpoint what is making you feel anxious... it's just there.. flowing through your body for no reason.  When I have real anxiety, I can usually chalk it up to some situation and talk myself down... like riding in a car, fighting with someone, a storm, stress etc.. Withdrawal induced just keeps coming and it doesn't even feel like a part of yourself.  It seems like some outside source is torturing you endlessly.

So, as for the "fake" anxiety, the really intense non-stop part was probably for a couple of months.  Then I had a few months of up and down.  Mostly those cortisol mornings, as I would call them.  Waking up with a restless anxious feeling that would last until about mid-day.  I could deal with this ok.  I would say at about 6 months it lightened up more and then  into 8 months things really started to turn around.  The cortisol mornings were less often.

Surprisingly, I still occasionally have these cortisol mornings about ones a month for a few days.  I don't know if it's mini withdrawal flashbacks because this drugs screws up your endocrine system or not.  I am more highly suspicious of my hormones. I am in my early 40s and these types of symptoms can strongly be related to perimenopause too. However, it happens way less often that it did 4 or 5 months ago.... so I don't know.  Hasn't happened yet this month... and I have already passed the point of where it usually happens.  Keeping my fingers crossed!

I will say this.... this morning anxiety is nowhere near as intense and is very manageable... almost laughable compared to the early days.  That anxiety used to kick my rear hard and right out of bed!  I used to wake suddenly and gasp for air and feel like someone injected me with adrenaline.  I believe I could have fought a bear and won!

For the rest of you... I had this great though yesterday.  My husband has been asking me why I am so energetic and goofy these last few months.... and I remembered.. this is how I used to be.  When I met my husband, I was already several years into my tram taking.  He has never seen this side of me.  I'm glad that he gets to, finally. Poor thing was so worried about me during withdrawal and he just didn't understand.  Though, I think now he might think I am a little weird ;)  It's ok.. I am :)

Thanks Allinblack. I remember the withdrawal anxiety very well, and think I have plain old anxiety. I didn't have anxiety prior to tramadol, but menopause could have changed that.
Being 8 months off, majority of PAWS are gone and I'm noticing how easily I cry as my mind goes back to the tramadal days and towards the end was not a nice person, and said some horrible things and one of my friendships was formed when I was high, and I really don't like her. Maybe I need a good cry as my emotions are all over the place.

@Meganann123

Oh those wonderful hormones! From the stories I've read, women in our age group that are pre and menopausal seem to have a really hard time with this withdrawal thing. I think it's because both mess with our endocrine systems. So, one bad thing on top of another. Then you don't even know which is which! Look how strong we all have to be!

Everyone... I saw this old blog online and thought some may find it helpful about the antidepressant part of this withdrawal process from one person's experience. I really think that aspect is what makes this thing drag on. It's supposed to be closely chemically related to the SNRI named Effexor.

http://npanth.wordpress.com/

The anxiety is a ***** I still get it, but not as bad as months ago, well off to see psychiatrist,it 10 am in the uk, hope everyone is ok x

Thanks for the link allinblack, great information. I've been to the gym for the last two days, body pump classes, and can't tell you how much better I feel. Exercise seems to be the key for my moodiness, and anxiety.
Hope you are doing well blockhead !!

Im getting there meganann, its been hard, glad im not on them anymore, I worry about indigolris hope your ok x

Me too @IndigoIris!

You have been in my thoughts. Please let us know if you need anything. We are here!

^ Thanks -- I am still around and reading.  For some strange reason, at 50 days yesterday, my confidence came back and the despair left.  Also, I weaned off the gabapentin over the past 2 weeks so I am currently off any prescription drugs.

Mostly stomach/digestive problems and morning anxiety are biggest symptoms now.

Made an appointment with a psychiatrist for December 27.  I am guessing he will prescribe an antidepressant, especially since my counselor will be recommending that in her report to him on my situation.   In the meantime, just looking forward to getting a bit better every day.

Thanks for your support and sharing your experience, I feel bad that anyone here had to go through such horrors as the depression and anxiety this drug withdrawal brings.

Still hanging in there. I have not missed a day exercising and it seems to have been making a big difference in the anxiety. I still get it, but not as extreme. Music also helps a lot! I eat mostly fruits and veggies along with fish or chicken. Tons of water. All these things seems to help with progress. Its been hard to stay away from junk food. Ive lost TONS of weight! Feels amazing to getting back the real me!

Slow progress is better than no progress! All this has helped me learn more compassion and understanding to others, so this could be a blessing in disguise. Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season. I pray and think of you all everyday!

Good for you Manny. I work out 5 times a week, aerobics and weights and get such a high when I'm finished working out. The best natural high ever. I've lost all the weight I gained when I got off tramadol and working on getting physically stronger. I occasionally eat junk food too, but I figure that's my reward for working out so much.

Like I said I don't feel 100% yet, but getting closer. It really takes tons of time to heal the brain and body.
Merry Christmas to all.

Hello! This is my first time posting here. I currently am tapering down and plan being completely off on December 26, the day after xmas. It probably isn't the best time to do this as I just graduated school and have used the last of my savings and will have to start looking for work ASAP. But I feel I can get away with a week of "flu" before the pressure to get a job gets too intense. After that any advice on how to control symptoms is appreciated. I have looked at previous posts and have purchased supplements and have I gabapentin and Ativan. I've been on tram for about 10 years, I was up to 5 50mg a day and have tried to quit in the past with no success. This time I don't have an option as I lost my source and I also entered a profession that will screen me for tram...so this time I have no choice but to make it stick. I live alone and only one friend knows what I am going through and well I don't really think "she knows" she just knows I'm addicted to something that is going to cause withdrawls and I might be calling her if I need a friend. That is why I thought I would start talking to this board. Thank you for listening.

Ljboop. Good for you! ! I am on day 18 with a very similar background in terms of duration and dosage. I am still having withdrawal but it is just my brain trying to right itself. I see a specialist through this detox. He perscribe me the gabapentin as well as clonidine and remeron for sleep. I can only say that personally the gabapentin is what gets me through the worst. It seemed to take away the horrible rls feeling. Good luck and let me know how you are doing.

Hello n merry Xmas to all ! Wishing all a healthy New Year . And welcome to new posters . I have not chimed in , in over a month ... It has been 84 days since my last tram . I no longer have RLS , and those awful aches . It hasn't been easy . Major allergies , sneeZing fits and congestion ... ( May or may not be withdrawal symptom at this point ) . Still lathargic though . At age 52 I've been active all my life ... And have gained 35 pounds since oct 2. NOT GOOD! Anyway ... Wishing all you hope and strength ... It DOES get better ! Happy Holidays where ever you are fellow trammers !

Merry Cristmas and welcome newbies. Congrats on your courage to saying NO to tram.

Ljboop - maybe you'll do better than most coming off tram due to your age. Sounds like you are in your 20's or early 30's and hopefully your youth will help. It may help on bad days to read posts from people that got clean and posted from day one. That helped me so much. It's hell for sure, but the other side is so much better, and you'll have money in your pocket too. Stay strong.....it will be a bumpy ride but so worth it.

Merry Christmas!

Still on a roller coaster ride, had 60 days yesterday and the latest thing is having intense emotional moments, especially anger.  I guess it's 10 years of crap all finally being allowed to come out.  I'm keeping a journal and seeing a psychiatrist this weekend, followed by counseling the following week.  I weaned myself off the gabapentin after 3 months on it and honestly being off that for about 2 weeks now cleared my mind up a lot.  However, I don't regret taking it during my taper and early withdrawal because otherwise I think the RLS, insomnia, and anxiety would have caused me to lose my job ( as well as my mind).  Oh, and I stopped gaining the weight, after putting on 16 pounds in 3 months.  So we are looking into joining the local gym in 2015.

For the new posters -- Yes it gets better but it really is a waves and windows thing --- bad waves followed by a window into a great life, but eventually a wave comes again, and the idea is that the waves get less intense and less frequent over time, but they can still appear months and even years later.  Read that on one of the antidepressant/benzo/etc. withdrawal sites.  At least I don't feel like I am drowning anymore, I know "this too shall pass" when I feel really really bad for a few hours.

\

I have been watching this thread for a little while, although I haven't posted as my job has kept me so busy.  Every time I'd get ready to post, something would come up and I wouldn't get to.  But I want to say to all the new people here, I am PROUD of you, of your noble effort and success in getting off this POISON, and that I am living proof it can be done!

Just over five years ago, I was here, where many of you are, reading Emily's journals and praying for God to somehow deliver me miraculously from the terror-grip of this drug.  I was in severe pain mentally, physically, and spiritually because of having taken this poison for three years.  And lots of it, too.  I did not think for one moment i could endure the pain of withdrawal - I had been there, a few times, after having run out too soon and having no way to get more.  The mental agony and physical pain were only a minuscule step away from hell.

But I made the jump after reading Emily's story, and I found out that I COULD survive it. I did survive it.

You are right - the hardest part was (for me, at least) the PAWS.  It kicked my @$$.  The severe depression weeks and weeks after acute withdrawal was over completely freaked me out.  The random revisiting of the physical and mental pain...almost seemed too much to bear.  But I stuck it out.  I can't say there was a day when it all ended.  But it all ended.  Now, five years and 3 months later, I can say it never, ever comes.  It hasn't for a very long time.  I have normal bouts of depression and normal aches that we all have as we age, but the tramadol days are long, long time behind me.

In many ways I am a different person because of that experience.  Stronger.  Definitely stronger.  I can endure massive physical and emotional pain.  I have been through what can only be called hell on earth coming off tramadol cold-turkey from a high dose.  I had to do it that way.  No other method worked for me.  So I did it.  I jumped from a high place, and it hurt bad when I hit the ground and for weeks after.  But in time, I learned to walk again.  To run again.  To laugh again.  And you will, too.

I feel things more deeply now. Maybe it's because I went through something so awful.  Maybe it's because I have an extra helping of empathy for suffering now.  Maybe it's who I always was - I just numbed it all for so long.  But I would not trade who I am today for anything in the world.  I know peace now.   And for that, I thank God and EmilyPost, for without them, I would not have survived.

So hang in there, be strong, and trust us who tell you that, in TIME, you, too, will be well again.  You will.  I promise.

love and prayers,
~fmn

Thank you for the support! I'll admit I am rather scared to go on this journey that I have put off for so long.

Unfortunately Meganann123 I'm actually 41, I sound younger because I decided to go to nursing school after my husband died after a 4 year fight with a brain tumor. So I was in a class with a bunch of 20 and 30s and they rubbed off on me. We lost most of our money during the his illness and didn't have much life insurance which I used to put myself back through school. I had to move onto my parent's property in a fifth wheel which is why I am feeling so much pressure to go back to work...it is just bad timing all around...but I've been through a lot in life and know I am strong! For some reason this journey is what scares me the most beings I know the trams I was taking helped suppress some the emotions of losing my husband at such a young age (he was 33).

I'm not trying to sound like a sob story here just needed to get some of this off my chest beings I don't really have anyone to talk too other than a good friend who is in her late 20s (met her in school) and doesn't know any life hardships yet. It just feels good to write it out.

Once again thank you for listening...and here is hoping I am one of the few that doesn't have to go thru PAWS...please please please lol

Happy holidays to everyone on here!

It seems I was making progress when I had a setback this week and PAWS hit me hard again. The main symptom is anxiety for me. It makes my heart race, which in turn makes me more anxious. I am almost at 5 months off, so hopefully I will turn a corner soon so I can have some kind of peace and relief.

I feel exhausted from fighting this daily.

Yes, imanny, anxiety hangs on forever it seems.  However in the big picture anxiety is better than the other horrible PAWS we have all been through.  It will get better.

Ljboop,  I understand what you are talking about suppressing your feelings after your husband passed away.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  My son at the age of 11 ( 14 years ago ), passed away for a malignant brain tumor located in the brain stem.  I also think I suppressed my emotions too, and when I was on tramadol, I didn't have to feel deeply anymore and kept my son's death out of my head.  I thought I was doing well, as being on tramadol made me feel so good, but it was a fake.  I had to deal with my feelings, loss and learn how to move forward.

I also hope you don't experience the horrible PAWS most have been through.

Well I got through Christmas was dreading it but it was ok, hope next year is better,nearly caved in and took some tramadol, but wws strong enough to resisit thank god, anxiety was crap but its slowly getting better, happy new year to everyone, and good luck x

So happy you didn't give into temptation blockhead. You are 4 months clean.....what an accomplishment. Anxiety ***** thats for sure, and don't know why it hangs on the longest. You are past the horrible PAWS.
Happy New Year to you.

6 months meganann,thank god,your right the anxiety is horrible x

I started a low dose (10 mgs daily) of Prozac 6 days ago and it worked just the way much of the research I did on line suggested it would . . . feel 95% back to "normal" now. I put "normal" in quotes because I know it is not really normal, it is the severe disruption in my seratonin systems, caused by withdrawal from a 10-year heavy tramadol habit, now being "fixed" by the Prozac. However, I certainly don't mind feeling better and my psychiatrist knows that I want to slowly wean off the Prozac after a few months. Hopefully a much smoother withdrawal than the tramadol withdrawal had been for the first 60 days. Thank you meganann, without your sharing your experience here, I probably would have refused the Prozac and continued on a self-destructive path of mood swings so bad that I was at the point of quitting (or being let go from) my job and also kicking my spouse out! He (psychiatrist) at first suggested Paxil, then Effexor, and I refused because those have the worst withdrawals among the antidepressants.
Anyway, my main symptom now is actually feeling a little "speedy". Not a bad thing but can make me feel a little anxious, and my stomach/intestines a bit overactive, and harder to fall asleep at night. However, I slept way too much when I was on tramadol so now I am actually DOING THINGS in the evenings and weekends (even if just shopping) rather than napping. I was the Queen of Naps while on tramadol!

Go for you IndigoIris. I also was on 10 mgs of Prozac, and I believe that's the lowest dosage prescribed. I was on a total of 3 or 4 months and because it was a very low dose I have NO problem when I weaned off. I was definitely in a happier place, and a nicer person. I had a good Psychiatrist too and he said I only needed to be on Prozac for a short period of time which would help with mood swings, despair, anxiety and feeling like crap every day. I think I started Prozac one month after I stopped tramadol, as I was having a rough time coping with daily life. One benefit from the low dose is you don't gain weight, which was a big plus since I put on weight early on. I still have some anxiety though, but not that bad. My energy level is much better and I don't need to rest during the day like I use to. I can go to the gym, run errands, get dinner prepared and I get tired, but it's the "normal tiredness" that everyone feels when they have a full day.
I'm finally somewhat normal.....still anxious at times but hopefully that will get better in the months to come.
Let me know how you do on Prozac.

Dear Tramadol-fighters!

I am over my first week of withdrawals (2nd time trying to kick this sh*t!) after 6 months period of usage after my last relapse. I started on 150mg Effexor (Venlafaxine) last time I quit and I must say this time is much easier! The WD symptoms have not been lingering for so long even though my dose was higher (~300 mg/day) but I am still tired, but mentally I am more positive, maybe a little bored and missing being creative. I got some pregabalin (Lyrica) because my experience last time I withdrew from it showed it to help in a major way with the symptoms! I am still not sure if it prolongs the withdrawal period.

So still going strong, I can recommend considering some kind of SNRI and maybe even some sleep aid as zolpidem for the first nights.

Hang in there folks!

Best,
Daniel

Everything is better now, but I do have the minor side effects from Prozac - slight headache, restless feeling, trouble falling asleep, dry mouth, etc. I have no desire to go back on tramadol or any opiate. I haven't even wanted to use kratom for a few weeks, and that is what helped me a lot during the first few weeks of tramadol withdrawal. So I read that Emily P. said that somewhere between 75 - 80 days is where she stopped having most of the withdrawal symptoms, so I am almost there. I have been taking calcium/magnesium/D3, omega 3 fish oil, and B6/B12/Folic acid, and just trying to eat enough healthy foods. Wondering about kava kava to help with sleep and anxiety. I know you have to watch it because too much is bad for the liver. I have never been to a Kava bar but all of my cousins in Florida love them!

Hi All,

Good to know You..
Frankly speaking, it was so relieving that im not the only one who's having this issue.. and i was surprised too, that somewhere miles away accross continent (Im from Indonesia - Asia) there are many people suffering from this crazy pills...

A little backgrounder about me :
I start consuming tramadol almost 9 yrs ago.. My highschool friends gave it to me for recreational..
First month i took it just occasionally 2x50mg , then weekly, daily and since my first year at uni, it had become part of my life..
Very first thing im looking for after i woke up in the morning is Tramadol.. My daily morning routine is taking the pills and coffee.. My doses is vary from 200mg - 500mg depends on my mood..

It's already 9 years now.. Tried to quit several times many times and i always failed.. I cant resist the massive headache and the other withdrawal effects : tremor, cranky, mood swing, dizziness, hard to think..

And now it becomes more difficult to me to quit, as those withdrawal effect would affect my performance at office, people will see there's something wrong with me.. and i couldn't work as well..(I've bad experience for not taking the pills while im at office)

Not to mention i already have addiction to Alprazolam, Nitrazepam , and now my pshyciatrist give me Prozac.. Oh and i have also thyroid pills on my lists.. Kind a mess right?

I dont know if there's a way to quit or i should just consume it until i don't know when :(

Goodluck for you all, and im really impressed for those who already successfully quit :)

I have a confession......NO I'm not back using tramadal, My husband was given a huge refill of xanax and I would take one now and again over several months, but I've been taking 1 mg before bed for the last two weeks. I sleep SO sound and wake up not tired. I didn't have a sleep issue before, but I'm thinking I must be this addiction type person and since it's around the house and there are plenty of pills my husband won't notice. I'm just fooling myself. I spoke with my doctor and he said don't cold turkey, take 1/2 pill for the next few days, then 1/4 a pill.
Hopefully I won't start over with terrible w/d's. Does anyone have experience on xanax?

Hello Meganann,
Don't beat yourself up over it. During PAWS we are tested and need things to help us cope. I took Xanax during the first month of withdrawal. From what I read, we are only supposed to take it for about 2 weeks or so. But don't stop taking suddenly or you will have bad withdrawals since that stuff is potent. For the next few days just cut back until you stop taking it. You haven't taken it very long and is a small dose, so you should be in the clear. Just cut back during the next couple days, but not long enough to prolong the usage more. Again, don't beat yourself up, I wouldn't consider yourself an addict or anything after a couple weeks. =-)

Thanks manny :))
I think I'm vulnerable at this stage as majority of my PAWS are gone, and I'm becoming normal again and remember the high I got from tram, but luckily remember the horrible person I became on tram.
I definitely feel like I'm being tested. Thank you for your encouragement !!

Meganann,
Someone told me this recently which made a lot of sense. A LOT of people get hooked on these drugs, but only a select few get off of them. The people on this board are the select few that are strong enough to take charge of their lives and get off and stay clean. This is the hardest thing I have had to endure, but we are living proof that it is indeed possible.

You are smart enough to know right from wrong early enough in taking the Xanax this time, which means you learned from Tramadol. Cut a bit off of each tablet for the next few nights and you'll be fine. I was ok after a month, so two weeks will be fine! No worries. Ill keep you in my prayers!

meganann im still on the diazepam 8mg a day,dont let it do you head in,like I said I nearly caved in and took some tramadol at Christmas,glad I didn't though,ive come off the diazepam before its a walk in the park compared to tramadol,im still very anxious hope it goes away soon x

Thanks Manny and Blockhead,

Slept ok last night, and yes Xanax is very potent.  It does something to the brain where you don't get high, but you feel less stress and mellow.  I know that I can't take any of this stuff or I will get hooked again.  Back to melantonin.
I could tell the difference cutting the Xanax in half last night, but I still slept.

I went to the gym and always feel SO MUCH better after I work out....a natural high.

I'm looking forward to April 1st my one year mark of being off tramadol.  I remember so well the HELL I went through last Spring and never ever want to endure that again,

^meganann, I am going to get a supplement that has melatonin, valerian, magnesium, and a mix of other herbs (ex. passionflower) to help with sleep.  I read that Prozac can deplete your system of melatonin and the B vitamins.
I was on generic Xanax (alprazolam) for several months about 11 years ago -- ironically, I used tramadol, then new to me, to wean off the alprazolam.
I feel much better these days.  But still have adjusting to do.  I was on tramadol for so long that my personailty before tramadol has not yet come back.  Maybe it never will -- I was much more trusting and open with people and a lot more emotional.  I can do without being over-emotional again though!  But I would like to be a little bit more interested in connecting with people and caring.  I have become very detached and suspicious over the past several years.  Still, that wasn't all tramadol, that was also being tired of getting hurt and learning to step back and think before I say or do anything.  However, I went to such an extreme that I stopped interacting with people unless absolutely necessary.  Well we'll see what the future bring, the next milestone for me is the big 90 days!

Ive been reading for hours...
Feeling so overwhelmed with the abundance of all this info, but the knowledge that I'm not alone is SO comforting...

Here I am, a mere puppy in this Tramadol battle and there you guys are, some older puppies, some fully grown dogs (excuse the comparison) and there's Emily, the Leader of The Pack.

How many times I've read the word HELP within these posts - makes me feel somewhat cheesy to use it - but I have no alternative anymore, so here goes........help.....Help......HElp....HELp...HELP - please somebody HELP....

I dont even know where to begin.
Cold Turkey or Taper ???
I hardly understand their meaning and truth be told I cant stand eating turkey, especially when its cold !
Vitamins, PAWS (it was only my cat who had paws,), Nausea, sweating (oh boy, if I could sell each drop of my sweat for a few bob, I'd be a wealthy guy,) crawling skin and so on and so on......

Its been 3 years on Tramadol mainly at 75mg per day, sometimes up to 200mg per day.
The Dark Side of the Force is calling and I have no Yoda or Obi Wan Kenobi to reach out to !

I made the decision today to stop.
Ive got 26 x 37.5mg pills left.
Just wish I could flush them all except if I get a blocked toilet and my plumber comes out, he might land up getting addicted.

Where to start ?

.

Shaun,
Welcome ! You've come to the right place. I would give your pills to a trusted friend, and either develop a tapering schedule with your doctor or come up with one on your own. I don't think it's a good idea to cold turkey from 75 mgs or more of tram a day. You might have a seizure. We've all been at the same place as you, and being prepared does help. Lots of people have posted meds to have on hand to help with insomnia, restless legs, brain zaps, skin crawling, depression, anxiety, constipation and more. I don't want to scare you, but the honest truth is I've never felt so horrible in my life as when I got off tram, However the good news is I'm no longer a prisoner to this crap, and my head is finally clear and becoming the person I use to be. I'm happy again and enjoy being with people. Xo

IndigoIris - thanks for the advise on sleep meds. I picked up a similar bottle at a health food store and it has helped. Still on 1/2 mg of Xanax, and will go to a 1/4 soon.

Hi Megan and thanks for your words....

I hear that and yes I agree it probably is dangerous keeping the pills around, I can almost hear them calling me from the medicine cabinet, "Shaun Shaun, come and take us, you need us, we've been there for you for so long both thru the good and bad times. You know you cant manage without us... Come to us Shaun, quit tomorrow, just 1 more day......!" Who ever thought pills would have a built in voice simulation system - now that's technology for you !

But seriously though, my commitments wont allow for any time off, so to slower taper these things is probably the answer. Read a post from a pharmacist who advises cutting a 1/4 pill every few days, so I've split my 26 yummy babies (bcs at this stage that's still what they are to me, but I'm sure the hatred of them will soon become apparent,) into a month of tapering....Its going to take discipline that I know.

Your positivity is inspiring - thank you !

I dont know if our venerable leader Emily will read this, but possibly posting a brief summary of the meds you refer to would help, as the massive amount of reading to wade through to find such, I find most exhausting....

Hello Shaun!

I agree with Megann and doing the taper. The toughest thing in the beginning isn't the withdrawal or anything, its fear that holds us back from sobriety. So most of the battle is all mental. You just become so sick and tired of being sick and tired that you dive in without looking back. Is it hard, yes. But, it is possible as many on here have proven time and again.

There have been people with a lot heavier dosages and longer times and they have come out the other side, and I believe you can do it as well! I believe in you. You won't ever have someone pass judgement here on you. Like I said before, its all a mental game and you CAN do it. Each day clean is closer to the life you have always wanted. Don't get overwhelmed and take things each day as it comes. =-)

Shaun,
I copied this link from Emily's post last year. I agree with Manny it's fear that hold us back from sobriety. Most of us hit bottom and got sick and tired and tired of being sick like Manny said. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73599

This is a good thread on PAWS, along with suggestions to help ease it. I agree with most of what this says ... helpful!

I

Hi Manny, thanks for your insights, I can feel that they will come in handy and identify already after my 1st day having taken only 25mg less than my usual dose. Truth is, there isnt another soul in this world, besides now those here, that know what i'm going through, so having this contact for me is and I'm sure will be vital going forward...

Megann, Thanks for the the link, I'll be sure to read it through.

What I'm not understanding is this:
Ive got this 30 day taper plan.
I'm almost finished ay 1.
I did feel crap today, a bit tearful and like ZERO energy for about half an hour.
Am I correct to say that is it only once someone has COMPLETELY stopped all intake will the withdrawals, both acute and PAWS, kick in ? If thats the case, I almost want to be at day 30 already so I can start getting through it and move closer to healing.... Its that feeling thats getting to me. I still have to take this stuff for another month !

1113 I have 2 questions:

1) You say your taper was 8 weeks from 25mg to 0mg
How long tho was the entire taper ?

2) What do you mean when you said:
'"i think that it is important to know that when your tapering you need to spread it out very evenly throughout the day. the idea is to not let a dose spike your blood. "

I would always take 2 pills (75mg) 1st thing in the morning. My pills are 37.5mg each
Having cut 18.75 mg off that today, instead of taking the remainder 1and 3/4 pills at my usual morning time, I took 1 pill in the morning and the other 3/4s at around 3pm. Is that "spreading it out evenly" as you say?

If anyone else can answer, please do...

Manny, I cut 18.75mg and not 25mg as written..

Hello Shaun,

Each person is different when tapering. The way I did it was by cutting 1/4 of each pill every few days. I would take mine in the morning, afternoon, and night. Each time I cut my body became adjusted slowly so I wouldn't feel as bad if I stopped taking them altogether. You won't die or have a seizure from all my research all over the net from tapering or even cold turkey. You will have a seizure when taking too many due to serotonin syndrome. Which is when your brain has too much serotonin in it and causes you to seize.

Although you may feel like crap for awhile you will be fine.

PAWS for everyone is different, I didn't feel it until after I stopped taking them. But not everyone may go through PAWS, so don't let that scare you. Hope all is well!

All I can say is HOLY C*@p!  I found this place today and have read it all day long! At times I feel like starting today and never looking back, and then freak at how long people take to get over the withdrawals.  I know I'm at my lowest point and am ready to be done with it come hell or high water.  I've been on it for 8 years and have wanted to get off only to start feeling the w/d and saying no thanks.  Sometimes I can read a post and say yeah that's what happens to me and other times, it will be polar opposite.  It's seems so crazy to me how a pill I read about years ago being less addictive than any other pain medication is by far THE Worst one! My problem is that I can't take time off.  As the breadwinner, I will be docked if I'm out too much and can not afford to be.  I've been forced to take less ( was taking between 12-16 a day) as getting them is not easy.  I've been having withdrawal with chills, sneezes ( which why the heck that happens boggles my mind) and crawling skin.  But I've survived it for 2 days so planning to stay on the six and not go back up. I will have a week off in March and plan to go through it then, God Willing.  I think saying it here will help me to commit.  I'm going to do some serious research, I think I've done quite a bit over the years to find ways around the horrible symptoms, but I've read so much here that hadn't heard about so I'm going to look into them all.  To Shaun, you are absolutely hilarious and yeah it's going to suck, but I think just coming here and asking for help and admitting we have a problem is more than many people do.  I hope to share my whole story in the future when I feel like I deserve it and I start my ticker.  All I know is you guys are AWESOME and seriously unless you're there, no friend and family can understand what it's like which is why I think God sent me here today for a reason.  I needed to hear the good, the bad and the ugly and take a stand against this demon.  I've heard it said that addiction brings you closer to God and I know it has humbled me as I prided myself that I wasn't addicted to anything and didn't understand how anyone could get addicted.  I am a better person and know that all the trials I've been through have taught me lessons and made me stronger. I know getting over this will be the fight of a lifetime, but just as you guys have stuck it out, I hope to do so as well.
You know what I thought was funny when I signed up is that it said to use Facebook info.  That is the LAST thing I would want to do as I wouldn't want to be tracked.  Many people haven't told any one in their family, much less connect it to Facebook.
All that being said, I think just writing this and knowing that I survived cutting the dose in 1/2 for 2 days is just a baby step, but at least it's a step.  God Bless Everyone on or off the meds, and pray that I will be off soon and will be tapering until March.
The Pheonix- as I WILL RISE from the ashes! AMEN!

Took my last 100mg on the 7th at about 3 p.m. after 2 1/2 years of 300 mg a day. Been cold turkey. Its been hell but I am feeling better. Hang in there and sweat and kick. It will pass.

As I quit and the symptoms worsened I became angry at the medication and myself. I channeled that anger into determination. Never again will I swallow a tram. I mean never.

Thanks Manny - your insights amaze me !
so yes, I'm doing like you and cutting a 1/4 every few days and will take it 1 day at a time !
Didnt sleep great last night. Kept waking up and struggling to fall asleep again.
Started to feel my legs jumping around and that scared me. I felt it was just the beginning of many rough night to come.

But then again, because I've read so many peoples stories and the withdrawal symptoms they have gone through, I'm almost expecting them all to happen to me and that may in fact bring them on. The mind is more powerful that we realise.

I'm going to now try not to expect symptoms that have been experienced by others and just let my body do its own thing and deal with whatever comes up.

Instead of taking my 1 full pill this morning and 3/4s later, Ive split the 1 pill in half and took half as I woke up and will take the other half mid morning. Am feel absolutely wiped out now - could fall asleep right here on the keyboar......zzzz...zzz...zzz..zzzzz.zzzz.....zzzz :)
I'll also cut the 3/4 pill in half and take half mid afternoon and half tonight.

From what I've read, it seems most peoples symptoms worsen at night while sleeping, so makes sense to me when tapering to cut from the morning / afternoon doses first and leave the night ones for as long as possible to alleviate bight symptoms. At least thats what I'll try and see how it goes...

I've read your story / progress and it has given me a further drive to beat this thing.
So thank you Manny for going through what you have (although I wish you wouldn't have had to,) as that is helping and preparing me for what it is I have to go through. Please G-d then I too will be able to help others....

I see lost of people have activated the ticker which shows how many days one has been CLEAN.
I assume that it should only be activated then AFTER the tapering is finished and from the 1st day on which no pills are taken ?

Seeing others tickers definately give us new comers something to strive for and a certain amount of confidence and definately RESPECT for those that have gone thorough and achieved what they have !!!
WELL DONE TO YOU ALL !!!

Cant wait to upgrade my little helpless lost puppy picture (the way I feel now in this whole thing,) to a raging Rottweiler once this whole thing has been beaten !

I see the ticker makes provision for a tapering process and refers to it as "breaking free"

Pheonix, what you expressed touched base with me in many ways.
Maybe start your ticker now cos it does show "breaking free," which has definately motivated me...!
I want to write more to you, but have to run, but will be back later...

Well, I am glad to see new people here deciding to taper and then quit this drug.
I am up at 3:30  am, just can't sleep.  It''s not restless legs at this point, just the odd night here and there where I can only sleep a few hours.
But my anxiety is getting lesser and lesser every day.  When you don't have to worry about buying pills, counting pills, freaking out because you are about to run out and you have to work and face the world, wondering what damage you are doing to your brain or liver because of the pills . . . there is a lot less for me to be anxious about nowadays.
I am on a low dose of Prozac (5 mgs daily) and it did snap me out of a horrible depression/anxiety/rage cycle I seemed to enter from October through December.  So there is still that pill -- but that is one pill a day and not addictive, not the way tramadol is addictive.  And I am looking forward to a no pill life in a few months.
Am going to try for 3 hours of sleep now before work -- good night.

Welcome all newcomers!

I promise all of you that IT DOES GET BETTER. Don't let fear of the unknown hold you back. I have been and will continue to pray for all of you!

Shaun, a BIG thing that helped me once I had gotten a little bit of clean time was exercise and eating healthy. It made leaps and bounds in the way I felt. I have not missed a single day and it creates natural serotonin and endorphins which make you happy. You won't feel like doing much for a few weeks, but once you do, force yourself to get out and push hard. It is the biggest thing I can recommend to anyone. I think it saved my life to be honest and gave me sanity. 5 miles a day for me with a walk/run. Helps with sleep too! You guys CAN do it! =)

I agree Manny re the excercise - thanks!
Your spirituality shines through...
I'm sure as well that your motivating us helps you too.

Indigolris you hit the nail on the head when you say : "When you don't have to worry about buying pills, counting pills, freaking out because you are about to run out and you have to work and face the world, wondering what damage you are doing to your brain or liver because of the pills..." - cant wait to be free of that. Hope you sleeping peacefully !

Oh oh - here comes the sweats.
Drip drip, wipe wipe, drip wipe drip.
If i could just somehow market this stuff, I'd buy up all the pharmaceutical companies that manufacture Tramadol, make the directors consume their ENTIRE Tramadol stock, let them tell us then they're not addictive and after all that, I'll close down all the companies except for 1, which I'll make into a fancy restaurant and fly all of you guys out there to share our stories in person.
Come to think of it, that's actually going to take a hell of a lot of sweating though - best I dont be too rash just yet....

The Tramadol hell I have a special Hate for them they where the worst hell of my life makes me glad they moved me up the 4 loratab 10s a day along with 20mg of methadone a day all for pain and never abused but I just tapered the Methadone and am 13 days clean off it you see so many that think the trams are easy and some even use them to get off the supposedly weaker easy tramadol big big mistake I am sure if I was on a higher dose of the dones it may have been worse but I would chose to deal with the 20mg of the dones any day over the 8 50mg trams I tried to stop them one time and I swear it was hell I am not trying to scare anyone I just hate to see people get on them and maybe someone reading this checking about the drug will realize how bad it is one of the worst in my opinion glad to see you making the choice to stop them my Dr gave them to me under the impression they where a weak drug I was tied to them for years you can do this and good luck

MAGNESIUM for RLS
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome/link-between-magnesium-and-rls

Also:
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome

Manny is right about exercise. I live in the mountains in Arizona, and it's too darn cold to walk/run outside, but forcing myself to go to the gym 5 days a week was and is a life saver. The natural endorphins and serotonin kicks in and I feel great the rest of the day.

Thephoenix - the only good I see from my addiction to tram is I understand alcoholics and others who abuse pain pills. I thought once you go thru withdrawals from alcohol or pills you were done. I wish that were the case, however maybe I would fall off the wagon and use again if it were that easy. I had no clue about PAWS, and PAWS does affect each of us differently. I totally understand and have empathy for all who have broken free from their addiction.

It's great to read everyone's posts and so glad you are here for support.
xoxo

Ive got to start the exercise thing, im just eating crap aswell !!!

blockhead123, when taking on too many things at once, I believe it becomes too overwhelming and thn one doesnt do either.
I'd suggest start exercising and eat a chocolate while you doing it.
Once you have the excising thing as more of a routine, then focus your energies re the eating.
Slow and thorough steps are always the key to success !
Good Luck to you.

For me, yesterday i cut down by another 1/4 pill and by golly, one feels it !!! - What a fatigued and anxious day !!!

Just heard by a professor of medicine that Alcaplex is the final answer for RLS - 3 pills a night before sleep.

* just wanted to check my ticker.

Still having occasional and random anxiety, upset stomach, insomnia. But I am not going to let it get me down! It's only been 3 months for me. I was a long-term (10+ years) heavy (14+ 50 mg pills a day) user, so I expect it to take 6 months to a year to get rid of the lingering issues.

Actually I do have a rant for today, it is more PAWS-related than anything else: Anyone here ever go through a period of depression, whether caused by withdrawals or otherwise, where you are just struggling to get through your daily routine, then when you finally start coming around to feeling better (for me it took 3 months), you find some people are giving you the cold shoulder? What am I supposed to do, apologize to them for having depression? The funny thing is, I never did anything abusive to anyone except maybe my spouse while I was depressed -- I was as neutral as possible as I gritted my teeth to get through each day, polite to everyone I encountered and didn't burden them with my problems, I saved it for my spouse, therapist, psychiatrist, and here -- and now people are OFFENDED by me? I know people add insult to injury all the time. But how do you not get bitter about this?

Just rise above it, indigolris your time will come, im starting to get my confidance back and don't give a **** what people think, I had stages where things that happened years ago were doing my head in, thats gone now thank god, your doing well, you will get there x

I don't know if I will ever be able to get off. The lower I go to fast, the meaner I am and I cannot stand it. I know it's going to have to be slower as my kids come first. Yes, even if it means I have to take the stupid pills so that I don't hurt them emotionally or God forbid physically. I don't get a high or anything from taking the meds. I take it now so I won't get withdrawal which is so horrible, but it's my reality. I will get off, but for now it's tapering. My kids are old enough 10 and 14 to understand, but I can't go through everything right now which is depressing in and of itself. And yet, I read that so many of us feel depressed, but so do many people on many days and they never took the med. Right now, I'm trying to remove responsibilities that I don't need and not get into any new ones so I can focus on getting better. I've found I take less pills when I get acupuncture and exercise so I'm making sure I have time for that. I think I get myself so busy so I don't have to deal with life's difficulties. Just knowing that there is someone, somewhere who knows exactly what it is like gives me hope! God Bless All of Us, Amen!

thephoenix,

I can certainly sympathize with you and understand completely. I tapered myself before jumping off completely. My body got used to every time I cut off a certain amount so I wouldnt feel terrible down the line. But, the longer you are on the more difficult it will be down the line. I know you can do this! I promise that things are better on the other side. The worst aspect of all of this is fear. But once we get over it, it all gets better eventually! If you need anything or need any advice do ask any of us here my friend! I will pray for you and everyone else on here! =-)

I SO agree with Manny.
Ive been tapering a 1/4 pill every few days.
The plan is to taper over a month until I'm on a 1/4 pill then take the high (excuse the pun) dive!
I will not lie, the withdrawals are there, but are NOWHERE near what I thought they'd be, as expressed and experienced by SO MANY on this forum. Yes maybe its just different for me, but I am 100% convinced that:
our bodies are so so so used to the daily intake, that cold turkey puts the body into immediate shock and thus it reacts the way it does with the terrible and awful withdrawals.

I understand that we all arrive at a point where we just want OUT IMMEDIATELY - NOW - NO MORE - ENOUGH - - but if one can just hold on and taper slowly slowly, the body / mind is given time to adjust to the smaller doses and so far, in my experience, its definately the way to do it. Its not easy as yes, I do just want out and its taking HUGE discipline not to jump back in.
There already have been days where I think just 1 more hit and am so tempted to do so, but with the support of those here and prayer, one CAN hold on and not give in, as can been seen by Phoenix and so many others........

My thoughts too, are with you all !!!!

Its a living nightmare, I went from doing 12 to 3 over night, silly I know but im glad I did, then Istayed at 3 for a few months, then went to 2 for two weeks then 1 for two weeks, then I had half for two weeks,god it was so hard, thing is I was told how hard they were to come off, but still took them for two years and 4 months good luck to you all x

Yes it's so hard.  I couldn't do the taper as it felt like torture for me.  I went to a hospital detox, and took 3 pills before I checked in....I know pretty sad. A low dose of Prozac really helped me in the beginning, like 3 to 4 months.  I'm 9 months clean, and all the PAWS are gone with the exception of some anxiety, but maybe that's my personality.

I've even had comments lately about how much better I look physically.  I have photos of me early on and I looked so stressed, somewhat gant in the face, and out of shape the rest of my body, I looked and felt pretty awful.  For me I turned a corner at 6 months, and feel even better at 9 months.  I don't think about tramadol or using again.

My only advice healing takes time, more time for some, less for others.  Drink lots of water, and excercise daily if you can.  You can do it !!  xoxo

Where is everyone?

I was going to post the same thing.
Haven't heard from Shaun or Thephoenix and a couple of the other newbies for awhile. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hey guys,
Im still here as well. Still hanging in there. I sure hope all of you have been staying strong. Hope the newbies and old timers are all doing great! Almost to 6 months in a few more days btw! That in itself seemed impossible at one time. I have to pat myself on the back for that! Love you all! =-)

Im starting to feel normal like my old self never thought id say that, it's a long and hard road, but stay on it cause it does get so much better x

Blockhead!
Im seriously elated to hear that you are feeling better my friend! Thats fantastic news!

I remember when blockhead and imanny joined the group. Both of you are 6 to 7 months clean and I just turned 10 months. I can't believe it either. I'm feeling so much better and the anxiety isn't so bad. My head is clear and don't have bad days like I use to. Imanny, you were the one that encouraged me to exercise every day and eat healthy and drink lots of water. I really believe that is what helped me turn the corner. The natural serotonin is incredible. There are many days I don't want to get out there and exercise, but I make myself. xoxo

I'm also still here, still counting those bloody pills everyday, cutting them up into smaller and smaller pieces. Diving myself MAD…
Am 16 days into the tapering torture, with 14 days to go and that’s even before my 1st clean day
Its AMAZING how sensitive the brain/body is to even the slightest drop in quantity.
The fatigue/sweating/anxiety is just waiting to pounce !
Last night was my biggest challenge though and it goes like this:
Anyone ever cracked a rib ???
Pain like I've never felt before.
Casualty at the hospital put me on a drip and said they were going to pump what through it for pain ???? .........wait for it.........wait for it........now who wants to guess what that might have been - Manny ? Megan ? Blockhead ?
Thats right guys, you guessed it ........ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRAMADOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right into the vein and a lot of it ! Oh boy, what a rush that could have been….
It took everything I had to say no to it.
Now I'm ***** footing around on what we here in South Africa call Stopyne.
Thats like giving an elephant Paracetamol.

I now reach out to our venerable leader EM.
It takes SO long to scroll down to the bottom of this thread - how about starting a new 1 ??

I see MedHelp asterisked out my word before "footing" and it wasnt even anything foul
Ill spell the word
p
u
s
s
y
footing

Lets see them asterisk that out !

Meganann,

    Im super happy for you to be feeling like yourself! 10 long months is a HUGE accomplishment. You are strong and have almost beat this thing! In a few more months you'll be exactly where you want to be! The exercise is a challenge, I force myself to go everyday. I figure if I push myself and do everything possible to get better, then maybe ill get relief a bit sooner rather than later.

Shaun,

    Im glad you stuck with it my friend! Its a bit tough at first to taper, but better than to go off all at once. You are so close to your goal, so keep at it buddy!

Shaun -- hope you are doing OK with dealing with pain without the tramadol.  The people here with 5+ months are not kidding, it really does get better, but it seems SO slow.  I can say that all of the purely physical symptoms of early withdrawal have been gone for at least a week now.  I sleep pretty normally and I don't have restless legs at night.  I do still have intense emotional swings but they have been controlled by 5 mgs of Prozac a day.  (I took it for almost a month, started right after Christmas, then accidentally didn't have it for 2 days and by the 3rd day, I started feeling that inner rage and despair again.  So I am back on it and psychiatrist says he recommends at least 3 months on it, then we'll see how I am doing).  I still have mentally foggy times almost every afternoon.  But I had that on the tramadol, too, especially for the last few years.  The challenge ahead is going to be filling my days with productive activity with no chemical buffer to help.  Well, unless you count caffeine as a chemical; I couldn't live without a couple cups of black coffee every day.
I am happy to see blockhead say he is doing well!  Not sure why this drug is such a slow, long withdrawal, just glad that I  have almost 100 days now between me and my last dose of it.
Oh, here is a question -- did anyone get really bad breath while on it?  I always joked about my own tramadol breath, and last summer, the vet gave my dog a couple days worth of tramadol for post-op pain after she was spayed -- and her breath stunk, too.   I know it dries the mouth lining out and I guess that is why.

Greetings fellow Tramodevil sufferers. I'm new and have been mentally preparing to taper ever so slow, I also was prescribed Tram's for long term chronic pain. Almost 5 years into these evil white pills. 250-300mgs per day. I started out with less of course. I have informed my Dr. That I want off. She acted like a no big deal. Should be fine in a few months. I've tried cold turkey, made it 7 days and went into a psychosis state of mind. Back to 250mgs a day now. If my Dr. Won't let me do 10% every 2 weeks, then will have to quit my job and jump off when she won't prescribed them any longer. I also take Klonapin prescribed by a psychiatrist along with Ambien for long term insomnia and anxiety that got worse at pre-menopause. I CNN only focus on Tramadol reduction right now. I've read a lot here and have started praying for Shaun.
One strange thing is that after my 7 days of absolute misery, I now have wd symptoms between doses which never happened when I took them regularly before. Thing is now my Dr knows the severity of addiction and really wants me to stop too. I can attest to the heroin like withdrawal though I've never taken anything but Tramadol. I keep waiting for a class action lawyer to show up on tv so we all can jump on that train, but highly doubtful. Shaun, I'm with you on the cheerfulness of jumping off. I still feel strange from the cold turkey thing. Sweats, chills, crying and I haven't even started to taper but I know that is my brain being confused from the trauma of my stupid decision to just stop. That's when I started obsessively reading up on this drug. I had no clue for years about the affects of this drug. Sorry for the long intro. Someone suggested starting another page cause it did take forever to get to current postings. Anyway, that's my story for now. This site is already an incredible support band I just joined today! Thanks everyone and may we all win the biggest battle this side of heaven. Will be back soon. Ruthie

Hi Ruthie,
Well said, "may we all win the biggest battle this side of heaven".  I'm surprised that the tramadol doesn't make you fall asleep at night, without the aide of ambien.  Insomnia is one of most common side effects when you stop taking tram and can last for a week or two.  Having ambien should help.  Now that your doctor understands the severity of the addiction, maybe she can help you taper, and give you some short term meds to ease the withdrawal.  Several people including me found low dose Prozac very helpful once you stop taking tramadol, especially being pre-menopausal. We are all here to support you.
IndigIris - almost 100 days, congrats !!!  I miss that chemical buffer too that kept me productive in the afternoons.  I know what you are talking about. My own natural chemical buffer ( serotonin ) has come back almost full strength,  I do have afternoons that I close my eyes and rest.  But, I'm thinking that's what 'normal' people do occasionally, take a nap, or drink a cup of coffee or diet soda to restart their engine.  I was so use to popping pills all day long.

Shaun - it's so hard in the beginning.  Some people taper and others go cold turkey ( in detox center ).  You can do this, it's not easy my friend.  I don't know if you believe in God, however I prayed to God sometimes all day long for strength, guidance and healing.  My life has changed dramatically in these last 10 months.  I have forgiven myself for the shame I felt, and have been forgiven by a very close friend who I said horrible things to and I couldn't believe came out of my mouth.  My husband finally has his wife back, and he was so patient with me back in the days when I spent most of my time on the couch and couldn't move.

Manny - you are the best !  I really love reading your inspirational posts.  You always hit the nail on the head with your comments.  You are doing so well !!

Its amazing how the forum has come alive again :)
Manny.

Thanks for your belief in me and for calling me 'buddy.'
I agree with Megann, your post are so inspirational - maybe you can be like our spiritual leader in all of this.....
I see your 175 clean days and I'm right behind you buddy !

IndigoIris,

The rib pain is really putting me to the test !
Nothing I'm taking is even touching sides and the scariest thing is I know 2 Tramadol will really help. Am struggling alot now to not take any for the pain, but reading and re-reading what all you guys have gone thru to get off this stuff, is the reminder I keep needing never to go back.

Re the coffee IndigoIris refers to - read this everyone and then lets all meet for coffee !
http://time.com/3675152/this-drink-could-protect-you-from-skin-cancer/?xid=newsletter-brief

Ruthy,

Welcome and through your contact here, may you just find the strength , motivation and willpower to beat this thing like SO MANY here already have !

There is 1 thing I'd like to say here that I feel is important for all newcomers to understand:
We all have different body make-ups, have been taking different quantities for different amounts of times and are going to react differently when coming off this pill from the fiery furnaces of hell.
When I read everyone's stories and the withdrawals they went thru, I really was expecting all of them to happen to me !
That in itself was probably more frightening than anything else - the expectation, the waiting, the 'knowing' what lay ahead.
I truly believe we need to take each others experiences merely as a guideline and let our own bodies do their thing and yes, if then confronted by a withdrawal that someone else has experienced, to then draw from them what they can.
Dont preempt any withdrawal symptom until it happens - cos guess what ???? It might just not.

That said, my biggest fear was RLS - and it was happening - TERRIBLE.
This I believe is the answer - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAGNESIUM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My legs/feet etc haven't moved ONCE in the last 2 weeks and that really makes for a better nights sleep
See:
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome/link-between-magnesium-and-rls
Also:
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome

Meganann,

I'm not giving up !
Yes, I do very much believe in G-d and agree 10000% that we can only do as much as we can and the rest we have to hand over.... G-d hears all our prayers and not a single word sent up, goes unheard.
Amazing to hear how well things have gone for you and how what a good man your husband must be !!!!

Maybe one day when we all meet in heaven, we can sit around a puffy cloud and reminisce - but until then its onward and upward to better days for us all.....

yawn,,,,,yawn.....this forum has got to be the most reading and typing I've EVER done in my entire life !!!!!!!!
Even the letters on my keyboard are getting worn out !

Hi all, Checking in to see how your all doing. Shaun, when I went cold turkey for a week It wasn't restless leg like everyone says. It was like a pile of nerves in my gut and it would jitter and then tighten up. Really weird. I am going to start tapering tomorrow by 5% every 10 days. I already have interim wds so I may as well start now. I can't do it any faster or I will go down mentally. I tried Prozac in the lowest dose one time and the first day I was paranoid and frightened like fear all day. I heard Exifor is good but are there any ones that won't cause anxiety? I hope this forum does stay alive. It took me a while to get here as I lost my way again. Megan, Tramadol wires me and so does Benedryl and all meds that cause drowsiness. It's tough to get to sleep for me. Zambian will not work until I feel real tired around midnight. Weird huh?

Thank you very much for the kind words guys. I want to give back to what was given to me when I first joined. I was given peace of mind, and reassurance of what was going on with my body. I love that we can all motivate and encourage each other through dark times. I seriously love you guys!

Ruthy,

The anxiety that you feel is perfectly normal when you start any antidepressant in the beginning. It will take several weeks for it to build up in your bloodstream and have your body get used to it. Zoloft and Prozac from what I've read are the easiest ones that your body will tolerate.

You know your body best, so whatever works best for you and what feels right, by all means do it! We will support you and have you back through all of this. You are not alone in this fight, and you can, and WILL get through this! If you have any questions or need advice or even reassurance, please ask away! =-)

Hi all,
Shaun, how are you doing after day one?
Megan, is the fact that I take Klonapin and Ambien going to slow down wds when I do jump off? My regular GP does not get it. She thinks I will just be a little uncomfortable for a while. Completely clueless. My psychiatrist may understand more. She knows i upped my Klonapin during my cold turkey week and is tapering down from the extra Klonapin to get back to my regular dosing at night. I haven't really needed Klonapin in the day until this "episode" of cold turkey trams. I'm a mess now I have anxiety in the day from the Klonapin increase in that short of time.
Now for a controversial Q- has anyone considered cannibus edibles where the THC is cooked out only leaving the CBD for relaxation and sleep? I have been doing this from time to time and it is so helpful instead of Ambien. Thoughts please. Today I am so anxious because yesterday we had a superbowl gathering at our house and I took 300mgs or Trams to get through and today body is screaming for more. I've been trying to space out the dosages but have the shakes and nervousness every time so I go back to 150mgs at once. Please advise me. I have to go back to work soon and need to get balanced out. Thank. You! Going to do treadmill till I stop trembling. See you soon

I have so much terrifying anxiety when in between doses, how can anyone maintain a job while going through this?

Ruthy,
Yes, your psychiatrist will know which combinations of drugs you can safely take. For instance you can't take Prozac and tramadol together.  You run a huge risk of getting serotonin overdose, very serious.  Everyone is different and when i went thru tramadol withdrawal and the drug was out of my body, I went on 10 mgs of Prozac for 3 to 4 months for anxiety and depression.  It helped me tremdously.  Not everyone goes on Prozac.

I bet your body is screaming for more tramadol.  I get it !!  I remember taking a high dose to get thru a social gathering or party, and my body wanting more.

I'm not sure about the cannibus edibles.  If you trust your psychiatrist, he or she will help you with a taper schedule and give you meds to help the process.  There may be some safer sleep aides than Ambien.  I still take melatonin, natural sleep aid to help you fall asleep.  Keep posting we are all here for you.
xoxo

Thanks Megan,
Is Celexa a good choice for after Tram? I have some and have taken very low doses along with Tramadol for short times. No Serotonin Syndrome problems at all. I am tempted to introduce very small dose to get it in my system before the jump. I will have PAWS because I tried for 7 days cold turkey and I went psychotic. So grateful for this site!

Rutty,
Be careful ! I would call your medical doctor and ask if you can take Celexa while coming off tramadol. You run a risk of serotonin syndrome, but I'm not a medical doctor. Your doctor will advise you if Celexa is safe for you, and if it's not hopefully will recommend something else. You are dealing with very potent and dangerous drugs, and I would NOT combine any drugs without my doctors blessing.

Thanks Megan,
When I did take Celexa my Dr monitored me at a super low dose. My illness is worse in the winter and usually took Celexa but we didn't increase dose enough to be therapeutic. I will not do anything without running it by my Dr. Ugh, been reading too many anxiety stories and am gonna do super slow like one poster on here, I forget his name has lots of 1s in it, anyway his slow taper story gives me hope. Just pray my regular doc is ok with this, she already wants to bump me off and go to pain management and let them "deal" with me. Do you think pain management is familiar with long term Tram tapering?

Most likely a pain management doctor will know how to taper you off tramadol. Pain management doctors don't normally deal with the emotional/physical/psychological issues. I found a great psychiatrist that really helped me and understood tramadols addiction and PAWS associated with coming off. However your doctor may have a great pain management doctor to refer you to. I would give it a try.

Ooh sounds encouraging! Ill ask my primary care to give me someone educated in Tramadol and post affects. Oh Lord, please lead the way! Thank you so much Megan for giving precious time to us current suffers' I hope to be in yours and all who have gone before you, shoes some day soon to give back. We all have a providential calling. Good Night

Shaun, how are you doing? How's the rib feeling?

just wanted to see my ticker,hope your all doing well xx

Why am I having wds for no reason in between dosing. I quit cold turkey 4 weeks ago and my body is spinning out of control. Had to start up again after 7 days of absolute mental misery. Now I need more than I took before to ward off wd symptoms. Did this happen from cold turkey and is my body in shock mode. I'm supposed to go to pain management for starting a taper of 250mg per day. When I get there should I be honest and up front about what happened. I suddenly became an addict over night! I am so desparate, have so much to loose by suddenly being marked as an addict. I honestly didn't see this coming. I just wanted to stop taking them. I HAVE to to keep my sanity. My husband is weary and worn from my issues and I don't know how to get out of this.

Hi Ruthy

The ribs hasn't been easy dealing with, the pain is crying out for a WHAM BAM THANK YOU TRAM !!!!
Sorry yours is such e hectic time - but to taper at 250mg per day sounds way to much to me.
I read an article written by a pharmacist that said to taper not more than a 1/4 pill every few days....Gd only knows how difficult it is !!!!

Blockhead you biscuit - now thats a good looking ticker - you keep going bro !!!!

Does anyone know how to get hold of Emily to start a new thread ? - to keep loading this one, takes so long that just the anxiety of waiting for it to reach the bottom, makes me want to take something that starts with a ' T '
No, not Toast
No again, not Tomato sauce
Nope, not Tuna

Anymore guesses ?

I know what you mean about getting to this spot taking forever. What are your symptoms like today? I'm sorry I meant to say I'm back up to 250mgs and holding till I get to pain management. I'm not tapering yet but now have wd symptoms in between my doses, never had that before I went cold turkey. I feel like I totally messed up my chemistry. I have sweats all the time even when I am in the middle of dosing and the anxiety comes on so strong, it reminds me that it's time to feed the monster. Is this normal even though I'm not even tapering right now? I really messed up by jumping off a couple weeks ago. I will never do that again. How is your anxiety level?

I would be honest with your pain management doctor Ruthy. I'm sure he's dealt with all sorts of addictions and dependency on narcotics, so don't feel bad about telling him the truth. He will be able to help you better if he has all the facts. I don't doubt your body needs more tramadol after you went cold turkey. You were at such a low state, possibly serotonin levels, your body needed more pills to get back to where you were. I was up to 400 mgs a day when I hit rock bottom. I think what you are feeling is pretty normal. Hopefully your pain management doctor can give you meds that help with detoxing. Stay strong.

Thanks Meganannn,
I will be honest, I have nothing to hide just a lot of anger with this so called safe drug. I just pray I have someone familiar with Tram tapering for long term use, 5 yrs. Actually, your rock bottom of 400mgs wasn't as bad as most peeps on here. I think I went up to 350mgs a few times thinking no problem the med is safe and non-addictive. Isn't that funny! Oh I wanted to ask you, while tapering will I have some good days or moments as far as being my old self, being depressed the whole time of tapering and then after jumping off sounds so depressing! What dose did you jump off, or did I read that you cold turkeyed it

Hello everyone!

    I hope everyone is hanging in there. I will share my secret weapon that has kept my fighting all this time. I have been reading and looking up uplifting passages in my Bible. Even if you believe or don't believe in this particular faith, perhaps you or someone can find comfort and peace with these passages. I go on a daily run every night, and stop at my local church and say a prayer at the foot of the door of the church. It has continued to give me inner strength to continue battling! Hope you enjoy!

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk with you through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Ecclesiastes 9:4
Anyone who is among the living has hope.

Ruthy,
I went to a hospital detox center.  It was horrible.  I was given subconox which is suppose to elevate the withdrawal symptoms while coming off tramadol, and I ended up becoming sick.  I became very sick and was admitted into the hospital for dehydration.  The most common side  effect most of us had off tramadol was very low energy, insomnia, lethargic, restless legs, anxiety and depression.
It takes time to heal your brain and body.  Every week was a little better, and the best part I wasn't using anymore. I highly recommend a tapering schedule, maybe decrease 1/4 to 1/2 a pill every 4 to 5 days. A lot of people on here tapered to a similar dosage I mentioned.  People who work full time took at least a week off work when they stopped taking it.
Others here may have a different tapering schedule.

Thanks for,the passages Manny.  Scripture really helped me too.

Megan- was it cold turkey when you checked in and it just got worse from the Suboxone. I now know not to go cold turkey but my uneasiness is already trying my soul. I just need to continue to cry out to God. I will taper slow and trust I will not go crazy. I really can't wait to jump off. I know I will have to quit my job. My body is under too much stress already and I am not myself. The Tramadol has robbed any emotion that is good but I know God will see me through.

Manny- I get you on scripture and am forcing myself to read my bible and pray as the drug has robbed my joy in the Lord. I still have joy because He promises to never leave or forsake us if we trust Him, I just can't feel Him from the drug numbing me but continue to trust. You are very encouraging. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Can't remember the verse. Have a blessed day everyone.

Yes Ruthy.....in fact I took 4 pills before I checked into rehab, I was so addicted to tramadol. I actually thought I was going to die in rehab, as I lied and didn't tell them how much tram I was on. I threw up non stop for four days....it was living hell. I think tapering is a much better way to get off this stuff.

Megan,
What a horrible horrible thing to endure. My gosh you have come such a long way! I am so encouraged by you.
I am trying to spread out my daily dosage of 250mg throughout the day. I am used to taking a big dose about.8-9 am. . How many hours apart do you think is best? I started that today and cut my morning dose by only .25 mg which was only 125mg and took .50 at noon. I had so much anxiety and a paranoia feeling by 3:30 I took the rest of my allotted dose of .75 and started to feel a little better. I'm not doing well socialising either, it's really weird. I'm afraid I'm gonna have a panic attack in public, yet I need to boldly enter public and stop this madness. It is when dosing is spread out when I get that way . I sometimes used to take 200mg in morning and hardly need anymore all day. I even felt fine the next morning at dosing only once a day sometimes. Do you think I should continue to try to spread it out. I felt BAD anxiety wise from about noon on cause my dosing was spread out and not a nice big lift to start the day. Did you have this problem,? So sorry for the rambling, I'm just trying to find my grounding first before I start my taper. Thank you! Just call me pesty........

Yes, I use to take a big dose in the morning too as it helped start my day and gave me tons of energy. On days that I didn't have to socialize it was easier to spread out the dosage all day.  Anytime I had to be with people, bible study, church, or social stuff I tended to pop more pills as I thought I was reducing my anxiety, but I doubt it really was.  It was a vicious circle. Pretty sad, popping pills before church.
Have you seen your doctor yet?  There might be meds to help with your anxiety while you are coming off tramadol. I know what you are talking about regarding panic attacks, which I felt too in the beginning.
What you are describing is pretty normal in most people tapering tramadol.  Spreading your dosage out seems the wisest thing to do.
You are not pesty !!!

Ruthy55 everything you are experiencing is what I went through, slowly taper is the best way, meganann is an angel and doesn't know how much she has helped me, this one ***** of a drug to get off, but SLOWLY very slowly things will get better, shaun I hope yor ok, same goes out to every else quitting this vile drug x

Ruthy, what you are experiencing is all very normal and I had the same thing happen when I tapered. Its best to take consistent small dosages every couple of hours. It helped while weaning off, then eventually was able to jump off. Cut smaller pieces if you have to instead of taking bigger doses! I promise, that while it may be hard that it is doable. I know you can beat this!

I agree with Blockhead, Meganann has been nothing short of amazing to me and everyone else on here! She was the first to welcome me and get me through the tough times. Im very grateful for your kind words and help along the way! All of your good deeds don't go unnoticed!

Shaun, I hope you are doing good my friend! You are strong and doing great. All this will make you stronger in the end! I have been praying for you too btw!

Love you all! -Manny-

Awww that's so nice of you all to say. I believe the first step in all our recoveries is when we found this forum that is safe and we can be truthful and not worry about judgment. None of us would be here if we weren't serious about quitting tramadol. Some may have relapses, and that's okay, we are all here to support one another.

I don't know if I shared this before, can't remember. My first month off tramadol my husband had to go with me grocery shopping because in my mind people were walking so fast in the store and I thought they were going to bump into me, and it scared me to death. I had to hold on to his arm and that was the only way I felt safe. I didn't drive for a couple of weeks, because my anxiety was so high, I thought cars were going to hit me.....I was scared all the time when I left the house.
It wasn't until I hit the 30 day mark that I started to feel better and told myself I would never go back to tramadol as I finally felt I was released from prison

I don't want anyone to feel they are alone in this journey, we all need a place that is safe and we can share our junk.
xoxo

I have to force myself to go to church tomorrow and I love my church and the teaching , but Since the drug turned on me I am also afraid of leaving the house. Especially if I haven't taken Tramadol for several hours.
All of you have just eased my mind with saying anxiety is normal while tapering. I never had panic attacks and uncontrollable crying before. I swear that week of cold turkey has done something to my brain.
Megan- did you continue going to church even though you felt panicky? My husband is getting worried and so am I. I have been eating cannibus edibles at bedtime. THC is cooked out so no real impairment just relaxation. Do you think this is hindering my tapering. I used to hate cannibus because it made me feel weird and now I can't wait for bed so I can sleep. I have Ambien and Klonapin and they don't help me sleep anymore.I think I need to stop cannibus even though it is helping to keep me sleeping. This, I have not told my Dr about. I don't think there is anything else I could take for anxiety. I am praying and reading my bible but it is hard to concentrate. I am on a leave of absence for another medical reason and I can't go back with this strange anxiety going on.
Indigoris seems to have had the same anxiety issues that I will be facing.
Not to minimize everyone else's suffering on here. Please pray for my anxiety! Blessings

Ruthy,

I didn't go out anywhere at first since I always felt super anxious. I myself would avoid restaurants, church, shopping centers, and even people to an extent in the early months. My advice is to lay low for awhile until you feel up to going anywhere. Listen to your body and do things when you feel well enough. Everything you are feeling is normal and you will have to go through an adjusting period, so thats why you feel strange.

Keep as calm as you can, and keep in mind that this won't kill you. I will keep you in my prayers!

Thank you imanny2015,
I have just cut .25mgs today now at 225mgs and will have to hold that for probably a couple weeks since I am experiencing wds between doses. Will I balance out if I hold at this for at least 2-3weeks? Should I wait until I no longer have sweats or is this going to be a part of the taper process throughout. When you didn't want to go anywhere,was that also during your taper or when you finally jumped?

Hello Ruthy,

Everyone is different on how they react to tapering, some may do fine jumping off at whatever dose. The way it was for me, was I felt bad for awhile when I would cut, then my body would become accustomed to the lower dosage and it would get easier with time.

During the time I wouldn't want to go anywhere was both during the taper process and when I jumped off. I was anxious, paranoid, easily agitated, hard to focus, loud noises or bright lights were annoying. But I listened to my body and rested and got away when I needed to. Its ok to get away from everything while you let your body heal, its all normal and a part of the process. Going for a light jog or run, or even a walk will help with anxiety btw. I also did it during the taper process. You know your body best, so listen to your body and do what feels right! =-)

Ruthy,

There is a common theme almost all of us go thru coming off this drug. Reading Manny's, and Blockhead's withdrawals it matches mine exactly. Like both have said, if you don't feel like doing something, don't do it. If you need to lay on the couch all day, lay on the couch, it's ok. If you are able to take a walk it does wonders for how it makes you feel. Unfortunately you will go thru a little hell, then I promise you will start to feel better. Be proud of yourself that you cut 1/4 of a pill for 2 weeks, then cut another 1/4 of a pill for 2 weeks, and give yourself a pat on the back for your success.
We are here for you.

Hi guys

Hows this for stupid - I was down to12.5mg a day and 18 days into tapering and had the worst day ever from an emotional point of view + the fact that no medication was giving my cracked rib story any relief, so in a moment of desperation, I slipped and my mouth landed on 225mg of Tram and I swallowed it ! OOPS !!

So its kind of back to the drawing board......
Feeling like I've betrayed you guys :( and myself....

Thank you both so much. Not only did I cut but I am trying to spread out the dosing. I can get below 125mg in the morning without going insane. I was up to 300 mgs at times so 250 was and still is rough. It seems like if I take 125mg in the morning I can do better through the day but my morning dose today was 100mgs then we went to church because I needed it. I could not focus and was crying and very anxious when church got over. Then 4 hrs later I took .75mgs. I could not come out of the low feeling from the morning so 3 agonizing hrs later I took .50mgs. I can't take anymore as this is my max for the day. It was only 3:30 pm and now I have to wait till the morning. I think ill start out with 125mgs tomorrow. This morning was too much for me. I do my treadmill a lot and it helps buy time but then I'm back on again. I do ten minutes of fast walking and its really adding up which is good. This mental thing is taking a toll on me. I wake up after maybe 4 hrs of sleep with an adrenal rush that puts me in panic mode. I can't lay there at all. Please keep praying. I so appreciate everyone. I hate to admit this but I am addicted to a drug! I have taken other medication but this one has a suction cup to my brain. It must be the antidepressant properties that won't let go. Should I just tell pain management somehow it kept up on me and I'm super dependant and will they tell me to go to rehab or will they work with me. I don't want another narcotic for as long as I live. I take Klonapin and I know it's a bad medication now too. But I truly need it for existing anxiety. I deal with a lot from my disease and my phyciatrist gives me that. I'm just afraid my GP doc will say no more anything you are an addict. I'm really not in a sence. But this Tramadol has made me one. It is the devil in a bottle of pills! Sorry for rambling. Keep checking in with me. You guys are so much help!

I meant I can't get below 125mgs in morning dose. This stupid computer refills and changes words

Hello Shaun,

Dont despair if you slip up. This is a difficult thing to beat and some might fall. But pick yourself up and keep fighting. Please don't give up and keep battling buddy. I truly believe in you and know you can do this. Everything worth having, is worth fighting for! You haven't betrayed anyone, you are human and we all have our moments, especially when trying to overcome this beast. Tomorrow is a new day. I hope you will continue to keep going. Hope you are feeling better from your rib injury btw!

Yea I had to get use to admitting I'm an addict, even though most of us took tram for a medical reason. I'm ok with that label, because I am an addict in recovery.

Hi Shaun,

No worries we all slip up, tomorrow is a new day. From everything I read, tramadol is one of the hardest drugs to withdrawal from. You will do it, and it may seem like time stands still during these early days. Hang in there my friend,

Shaun and ruthy, go at your own pace, the mental part is the hardest,you should be proud you are trying to kick this evil drug, ive just come back from seeing my psychiatrist, she said anxity never killed anyone, you got to keep fighting, and fighting is exactly what it is, you will get there, I felt like I was going to go into psyciatric hospital at first, but im getting better everyday, still have down days but no where near as bad as at the beginning, look at this sitehttps://npanth.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/waves-and-windows-in-ssri-withdrawal/ hope it helps x

Shaun- I'm sorry you slipped up but get back on the train please. You are dealing with physical pain too. Don't look back my friend. You are doing way better than me. I'm only tapering and struggling like a whimper. You are so far ahead of me and you have to keep ahead of me ok? Please please!

I gave into cannibus for sleep at 2: 30 in the morning. It's all that helps. I'm in trouble if for some reason my blood is,tested for medication. I don't see why they would. So Shaun I caved in too.

Hey all!

Just reading over some of your updates.  Everything is so familiar that I have tears in my eyes.  I'm so proud of you all and I am so proud of myself.  I can't believe I got this far and feel like my old self.  I am coming up on two years next month. Yay!!

for those of you tapering... yeah, it's hard during those cutbacks.. esp when they are getting down into the almost nothing range.  I just jumped.  couldn't stand the torture anymore.  Just decided to do the hard part.  Either I tapered too fast or my internet pills were bunk.  Or my dose was so small my body couldn't detect it.

For those of you who have relapsed or taken other substances, don't beat yourself up. I will admit that I drank more than usual during my early days of withdrawal.  I remember waking up a few times and doing a shot of vodka in the morning because I wanted to sleep and get rid of the anxiety. I did what I needed to do.  Didn't want any more pills of any kind.  I don't recommend this treatment to anyone, because it could be a dangerous path for the addictive personality. I felt like a creep, but I did what I did to survive.. in my mind.  I didn't do it for long and I don't now.  So, it is what it is.  With all this being said... I never did actually get blasted drunk.  I never liked being drunk.  Just enough to take away the "creepies" as I have called them

That's my confession for the day!

Good luck everyone!

Thanks allinblack for your honesty. I wrote a way back that I started to take Xanax, then tapered off. I wasn't on it long, and the only withdrawal I had was a little headache. It helps with anxiety but very addicting. The guilt was getting to me that I started on something else. I'm still at the place that if there was Vicodin, Percoset or any other pain med in my house I know I would succumb to using again.

Wow you are 2 years clean, that's a huge accomplishment. Can you tell me the difference you felt between 1 year clean and 2 years clean. When did all the PAWS go away?

@meganann123

Yeah, i'm not going to feel guilty for what I did.  I wasn't stumbling around drunk all the time.  I just drank more days than I normally would.  couple of glasses of wine... a beer.  Mostly in the evening after working.

I am trying to remember when PAWS went away... hmmm.  I think after a year it was mostly gone.  A year is when I really turned a corner.  I stopped having so many "waves".  Come to think of it... I haven't had many brain zaps in a while either.

Going into year 2 is much better than going into year one!!  I really think my nervous system has really healed itself a lot in the last year.  I thought maybe all my vitamins and herbs were working... maybe its just time.. or both.

I am a different person than I was 2 years ago. I'm a better person than a year ago.  I'm a better person than I was on tramadol.  I still cry with joy when I think "I did this! I really did this! It's over".

All that pain I endured was worth it.  In the early days, I thought I would be broken forever and never get my energy back without taking those stupid pills.  It does come back.  Your old self comes back... but comes back with strengths you never knew you had.  You have become a warrior and can battle just about anything in the future

Hang in there everyone.  I'm proof this thing turns around for the better

What about during the process if tapering and discontinuing. How do you live a busy life as I have with family and church family. I am detached from people already and my husband doesn't seem to understand the constant anxiety. He is very loving and supportive but now he is starting to ask why I am not going anywhere as I will be probably quitting work. I was outgoing before and during taking Tramadol. Now I have done a 180 and can't do anything but figure out how to get out of wd or anxiety mode. It's too much, yet I can't put my life on hold. My husband is running out of patience. It's like ok fine if you need to quit work we will make it but I am adjusting to lower dosing and it will just get worse. Should I stay at 225mgs until I feel better or will my body not feel better?

Where is Shaun? Are you back on the no tram train? Please say you are!! You need to stay ahead of me friend!

Thanks Allinblack

I feel better at 10 months out than I did at 6 months. Also I'm eating much healthier, whole foods, good protein, fiber, and almost zero sugar. I ate a ton of sugar and carbs for several months coming off tramadol as my body craved it, however not only did I gain weight, I felt terrible. I was eating lots of fast foods too. Oh well, I guess it was something I needed to go through.

Ruthy,
I didn't go to church often in the beginning, but that was me. I didn't feel well enough, and didn't have the energy to do almost anything the first month. I think almost ALL of us were like this the first month off tramadol. My husband didn't understand the withdrawals until I asked him to read some of these posts, then he understood. he couldn't believe what this drug does to people. Maybe if your husband was willing to read some of these posts he would understand what you are going through .

@ruthy

I'm not gonna lie..... tapering.. or at least the way I did it... was hard.  I tried to continue to work during that time but my anxiety was so bad.  I'm a freelance makeup artist by trade and I just couldn't stand in one place while doing makeup. It was hard to talk to people.  On top of it, I was having panic attacks while talking to people.  After having to leave in the middle of a couple of events because I felt so weird, I resigned to the fact I needed to take some time away.  I did not work any large events.  I had trouble going anywhere really.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.  I just wanted to throw in my earplugs and be alone.  I did have to take care of my household duties though... so I did it.  I just put in earplugs when I left the house and tried to go to the store at non busy times.  I did housework in small increments.  The bare minimum.  I think that is why I just jumped when I got down to splitting one half a pill and taking that twice a day.  I just wanted to get over it as soon as I could.  A wrong move? I don't know

I was sure my husband would leave me or give up on me during that time.  Just about the time I dwelled on that endlessly, things started to turn around.  I started feeling better.  Within a month, I was able to do some makeup gigs, like basic counter coverage... just not any mega busy events. If I wouldn't have had such a high profile job based around being busy and constantly being in touch with the public, I would have been able to return to work normally after about a month of withdrawal.  No one thinks makeup is a hard job, but it is... the standing, the selling, the lights in the store.. the loud music.  All of it was hard to process.

I had to hide the latter part of my withdrawal from my family and husband.  They understood initial withdrawal.. but not the PAWS.  They were always thinking I was overreacting and saying stuff like "you can't still be having withdrawal".  Whatever.  I ended up blaming it on fibromyalgia flares or would say I was having bad allergies.  That worked.

Like I said, my mind had me believing my husband would give up on me and on us.  He didn't.  When I felt like I couldn't stand any more (after about a month completely free of Trams), things started turning around.  Slowly, but surely.

My motto was "fake it till you make it" Boy, I did a lot of acting back in those days.. but it worked.

Get some ear plugs! Take walks! Go easy on yourself. Do what you can when you can. Don't feel guilty. Things will work out how they are supposed to be.  Trust that.

Then, one day you will realize that it is difficult to remember what the taper and withdrawal was like. You really have to think hard to remember everything. Your mind forgets. Your body forgets.

XoXo

Hi this's will my first attempt at stopping tramadol, I've been taking it for almost 6 years. I've never taken more then 300mg in a day but it's a steady 300. My life has gone to ****, my kids hate me, my wife is giving up on me, I'm never happy. I'm only 35 but feel like I'm 70. My ambition is gone, for the first time in my life I've had suicidal thoughts and that's not me! I need to feel happy and normal again but don't know where to start. I'm scared the withdrawal is going to push me over the edge I need help please.

I didn't realize it was the tramadol who's been in the driver seat of my life! I want it back!

These post are so motivating, I'm excited and scared at the same time I think!

Il check back tomorrow. You all have a good day!

Nick, are you currently tapering down? I tried cold turkey and on day 7, I lost it and had to start over. I am taking advise from the amazing folks here and going slow. I just hope my Dr understands it has to be very slow. 6 months on Tramadol shouldn't be as tough in the long run but you must taper to keep life going as smooth as possible. I too fear the jump off. That is why I probably won't be able to work. From what I read, the slower taper is the best option. Today I have less anxiety after tapering .25mgs. Yesterday was so bad but sleep plays a big part in the anxiety level at least for me.

Allinblack- I so appreciate your advise and will have to let my husband read some of this. I just still can't believe how powerful this medication is and what a hold it has on the brain from the snri property that is mixed in. You all are hero's who have gone before us, really!

Ty Ruth, I've been on tramadol 6 years, I'm going for my first day tomorrow. I normally take 4 in the morning and 2 before bed, the doctors around here are idiots. Reading online has been more helpful then any doctor.
What's a safe amount to drop tomorrow?

My wife agreed to stand bye me on this.im so excited! And only because of you with these positive post. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this site today in search for help!

Well I guess taking only 300mg is a lie, my truck driving buddy would bring me tramadol from Mexico and I was taking the same amount of pills Six a day. Then realized a month ago they are 100 mg pills not 50! i stopped those, but for about a week I did take more then six.
I too started in early 2009 after 2 shoulder surgerys. Every one is complaining about me, I'm down to one friend, my good happy life is gone. I need it back before I end up alone and have my kids hate me forever. I really thought these pills were the answer. How wrong I was and I know that now after reading more about this drug and its side effects. I just wish I would've then! but guess that goes for us all.

The worst part is I go in for hernia surgery March 2 and I am in waiting for a third shoulder surgery that will limit me for atleast a year. What am I going to do, I'm so tired of pills my wife says I should wait until after surgery to stop. But she doesn't really understand that theses pills are responsible for me turning bitter and unhappy.
I've never been to something like this I'm sorry if I sound like an idiot. Just nobody understands until all of you from what I've read. Most the time I think I'm reading about myself.

Hi all

Its 4am here in SA - couldnt sleep - yep something you know all know about !
Thanks for all the confidence in me and yes, I'm back on the no Tram train as Ruthy calls it.

Nick, Ive read many places and whats worked for me and what I believe is the best way to taper is a cut down a 1/4 pill every few days. That way your body doesnt have to deal with such a huge drop in quantity cos when it feels such a drop, that's when it goes haywire and the withdrawals symptoms are felt the most.

I know all of us have been expressing the different withdrawals we've experienced. but PLEASE only take that what you've read as information and NOT a DEFINITE of what will happen to you.We all different and our bodies react differently. So when and if you feel any type of withdrawal, deal with it then. Google the withdrawal and research that way. To think you're gong to have ALL the same withdrawals we've all had, causes huge ax=anxiety in itself and makes this whole thing that much more difficult.

If you do land up having RLS, see here:

MAGNESIUM for RLS
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome/link-between-magnesium-and-rls

Also:
http://www.healthline.com/health/restless-leg-syndrome

Else just ask on this forum - the people here are AMAZING and SO SUPPORTIVE !!!

Good luck buddy (learnt 'buddy' from Manny) - were all here for you !!!!!!

Manny, Megann,

Thanks for your support and belief in me.
The rib is definately on the mend - so that helps me to not need / want any more painkillers

Hmmmm it was a about a month ago I started thinking of going away for ever. Figured hay I wont be in pain and nobody has to put up with me making there life miserable. I broke down a couple days ago after putting a gun to my head. I dropped it and started cryng, my kids were at school and my wife sleeping, I sat shaking for 5 hours my wife awoke to find me that way. It took all I had to tell her what I've been thinking of. I'm still so ashamed! I realize it's not me and today I found this site. I told my wife that I know how to fix me I think lol. It's to get off these damn pills and get back to normal.
I know I have a lot on my plate in the coming time, I really hope I can do this I feel it's my last chance. My confidence right now comes from most of these posts. Then again they scare the hell out me on what's to come

Ty Shaun For that advice my anxiety is high enough right this second.

Hello Nick!

Welcome, you are in a safe place now to begin your journey of healing and being born all over again into the person you want to be! Please know that the way you have been acting isn't you, its a false sense of you. Luckily you have the courage to want help. Fear is going to trick you and convince you that this is too hard to do. But while it may be hard at times, this is all possible. Many people on here for years have successfully quit, and so can you!

All the literature on the internet about withdrawal is scary, but does not necessarily mean that you will encounter all or even most of the symptoms. My best advice is to be honest with your family about whats going on. They love you, so they will understand and be there for you during your time of need. If you feel confident to taper or quit now before your surgery then go for it! But if not, then wait it out. You do things at your own pace. You are not alone with all of this. We have your back and will give you tips on what to do and not to do to cushion the ride a bit!

Sometimes reading too much online can scare you more than anything else, so try not too do that too much and go with the flow. If you have any questions feel free to ask anyone of us here! =-)

Ty so much manny this is a a new thing for me, I'm a redneck who has always kept to myself and dealt with my own problems. I've never been to therapy or a rehab nor will I. Me finding you guys I believe was meant to be. And I'm going to soak up all the advice I can get from here, but yes I will limit my reading on the web i see what you guys mean. I have to stay positive lol I've been negative way to long. I dont have a lot of people to talk too so this place is great. I think you should all get to gather and write a book! I would buy it.

Nick,

We are all in this together, so I feel your pain. Taper off a bit of your current intake for a few weeks, then jump off when you feel confident. If you feel confident to jump off now, then go for that too! I used to scare myself silly with reading and re-re-reading things online that I would be fearful for hours afterwards. So go easy on that. You will get through this!

Thanks again, for showing a stranger more support then any one has given me in a while. You just don't see that often enough.

Well I'm going start tapering tomorrow. Il deal with surgery as it comes, I'd rather be in real pain then in this lost state of mind. if I don't start tomorrow I fear I won't but what do I know. It took me this long to figure this out! What the heck I can't believe how blind I was to this drug and its affect. It's like I just woke up been in coma for 5 years. I say 5 instead of six because the first year was great I think anyway lol.

Hope to talk more tomarrow y'all have good night, God bless

Sorry guys I didn't realize this is a recovery forum when I first came on here. A lot of what I read sounds like me before I even start to quit. I would skip days in between or run out for five days I didn't know it was this drug making feel this way until I read on it. I will be sticking around as I think I found a new addiction in posting on here. This place really opened my eyes, I just can't get over the way I feel today because of it I actually have hope!

Nick,
Welcome! Be proud of yourself as you taper from this drug. Every time you cut 1/4 or 1/2 a pill and continue toward your goal you are one step closer to a better you. Your body will get use to the slow taper and will make it so much easier when you are off drug. Listen to your body as you taper, and if you can rest when you get tired and try to avoid taking more tram to give you energy. You will get through this, and hopefully the very slow taper will help once you jump and no longer take pills.
Yea, I know what you mean I felt great for a few years I think, then the world caved in on me. I was put on it for medical reasons too, and was told it was safe, but in my gut knew differently, however I still took it and more than was prescribed.
We are here for you.

Good morning everyone.
I'm still at 2.25 mgs and earlier there was advise to spread out the dosing so blood has no spikes. This I am working on to set myself up for the long taper. Again, I haven't told my Dr that I want this taper schedule. I see doc in a few weeks so hopefully she will stand by me. This morning I dropped my morning dose by .25mg so I can even out the dosing. Yesterday I dosed .25 every 2 hrs and it worked ok. Still had uneasy feeling and anxiety but I know I won't die as I think blockheads said.
Shaun- so glad you are back! I was worried for you. Do you notice a difference from the small slip up?
Nick- glad you are clinging to this site. I personally would not jump off the Tramadol because you can use the the time to taper through the surgery, surgeries as you will be resting. It may be a blessing in disguise when you take the other meds for pain after surgery,lower the tram as much as possible while other meds distract Tram coming out of your system. That is just my thought and I may be completely wrong. Megan and Manny will have better advise than me. You have a lovely supporting family as I have but they need to know how long it possibly could take for some people. I know I'm one that will take a while but slow and steady is for me, not everyone. I stopped for 7 days and went coo coo. My husband and mom told me I better get back on and think of a better plan. I approached my Dr about wanting to get off through Tramadol and she is clueless and thinks it will just be a few months. That's when I came here and was way more educated by all the wonderful people helping. I have not read Emily's story yet but will. It takes so long to scroll down here I wish she could start another page. I'm not savvy on navigating and truly know Almighty God got me to this amazing support site. May God be merciful to our suffering today. Love you guys!

I thank all of you, today is my first day tapering. I usually take 4 in morning and 2 at night. On what side should I taper morning or night? This morning I took 3 3/4, but I would like too know some options on this.

In the morning. Since your body seems to be use to 4 in the morning and 2 at night, I would taper in the morning and eventually spread out your dosages. I know I use to take a large dosage in the morning to wake up and give me energy so I get why you are taking 4. I wouldn't touch tapering at night as you might have a problem with insomnia. Eventually I would try to shift your dosages throughout the day, every 4 to 5 hours so your energy levels stays constant. Don't rush the tapering, listen to your body.

Nick,
I think it's right to take 1/4 off of a .50 mg morning pill. Also this is your biggest dose so you may not notice. I am very new like you but I've been told to spread out the dosing through the day. I am used to taking 3 in the morning and today I took 1/4 off again which was a dosing of 100mgs. Ouch! Major anxiety. Tomorrow I will try again. It is a bad day because training my body to get used to .25mgs every 2 hrs and that is getting easier. Cutting my morning dose is the worst. I'm so proud of you! Way to get started!

Oops I didn't see Megan's post until after I posted. She said what I was thinking. It's rough just adjusting the doses!

Glad i found this site. I was on 200mg a day for 7 months. I stopped Dec 1 cold turkey. I had no idea about this Tramadol. I was misdiagnosed with a kidney stone. Well after getting a second opinion, they said. Boy! You got a Kidney stone in there. So after getting it out, I stopped the tramadol. Oh Crap!! I had no idea i was in for this. After being 2 months and 10 days clean, My brain is like it can't keep up with my eyes. I have anxiety all the time and I'm scared to leave home. It feels so good to find this forum for support. I really believe my symptoms are from this damn Tramadol. Im just scared.

Yorktown,
Welcome. Wow quitting cold turkey that's pretty amazing. You were probably told by your doctor tramadol is not addictive and not a narcotic, and thought you could just stop taking the pills. The doctors are SO wrong. What you are feeling is very normal. Anxiety was pretty bad for me too, however the good news you've been off tram for over 2 months. You will start feeling better soon. You are thru the worst part.

Is there any suggestions on how to help the equilibrium issues. If i move around to much, I have to go lay down for awhile. 2 months and 10 days clean on this stuff...... Gosh! How much longer do y'all think I have before coming out of this thing? My whole families lives has been on hold for so long. I never wanna go anywhere. My wife says..... If you had a real job, you would have been fired.LoL! I Pray and I talk about it and I go out to get fresh air. Man this *****.

Hello Yorktown,

It is all normal what you are experiencing at the moment. I still suffer from the anxiety from the withdrawal myself long after I stopped using Tramadol. The good news is that it won't last forever and there are things you can do to give you relief. Things that have worked for me and others are, exercise! This one is huge! Going for a run or long walks helps boost natural endorphins and help speed up the process of recovery. This has helped me immensely. Eating healthy and staying away from sugar also helps a lot. Eating fresh like grilled chicken or fish, fruits and veggies. Drinking plenty of fresh water is also recommended.

Dont freak yourself out and know that this is only temporary. Things will get better my friend!

Yorktown, Did you talk to your Dr about it? They need to know about the power of this drug. Taking exactly as prescribed, you are another living proof that this drug is extremely and quickly addicting. Lots of us have been on it a lot longer so count your blessings! Your almost there!

Good morning all,well day 2 on tapering begins! I Know I have a long road ahead, I keep thinking to far ahead. One day at I time.
Any one have problems with sweating on this drug, as soon as I start to fall asleep I heat up instantly I wake up and have to change pillows and blankets, I'm in ok shape, I don't get how I can sweat so much and then I cramp up all day! Gosh this drug is the devil in disguise I swear !

Thanks Ruthy55. I have been back complaining of dizziness and they did blood work and said I was fine. They also said it wasnt from the tramadol. I know she is wrong. She said it only had a 9hr half life. My Urologist however said he didnt feel comfortable prescribing it anymore. So i went to my family Dr and she gave it to me. It took me awhile to figure it was tramadal cause i really had no idea about it. I just took it for kidney stone pain. When i stopped it Dec 1 i took perocets for 6 weeks and stopped. Cause my stone was out and my stint was out. I thiught i was all good.

Nickm I sweated buckets you could fill a swimming pool,the amount I sweated, it will go away, but out of the blue it will come back, its does stop eventually, good luck

Nick-
Did you just start sweating with your first taper of 1/4 of a pill or had you already been sweating. I started sweating before I started tapering, almost like my body was done and trying to start early.
Yorktown- I can't even believe your own Dr didn't think it was the Tramadol when you tried to tell him. This is getting scary!
I had an almost normal day yesterday as far as anxiety goes but today I woke up with that adrenal rush that bolts me right up. I think it is the natural release of cortisol that is from anxiety. I so dislike the uneasy feeling in my chest. I just can't feel comfortable. Blessings

@yorktown

The dizziness is crazy from this med. I remember trying to do makeup and I would get dizzy spells while standing there, so much so I would have to grab on to something. It was so embarassing! I suspected trams too. I rarely get dizzy like that since being off them.

Also, I don't have a hand tremor anymore. My hand tremor was so bad my doctor noticed it when I was sitting in his office. He wanted to look into it further if it kept happening. I thought maybe I was getting Parkinson's or something. it's completely gone since I quit. What the heck is in this medication!!!

@Ruthy

I know what you are talking about that adrenaline bolt. I had it frequently while still on the meds and got worse during withdrawal. I hate it when all you want to do is sleep and then BOOM! It feels like someone is injecting you with a stimulant. Then shakiness and nightmares if you do sleep. Yes, I think it is something related to cortisol and they say antidepressants mess with your endocrine system, which controls all that.

I still have cortisol mornings... but much, much less... Mainly during PMS. I think mine could be hormonal now though.. I am at "that age" of the beginning of perimenopause.

I'm in menopause too and get anxious from that anyway. You said you had hand tremors? That is my worst fear. I may have to go back to work and working with the public........I don't know if I can do it. Hope do you work a job and deal with this stuff. I know ill get full blown panic attacks and we really need my job for the medical benefits. Do you just jump in and the anxiety lessens throughout the day?

@allinblack

Thanks for the info. The biggest thing I deal with now, being over 2 months off this drug is being dizzy and anxiety. i know its from taking it for 7-8 months. Its just so hard to plan anything at all, cause if i move too much it exacerbates the problem. Thank God I sleep well. But many days are ruined from Equilibrium problems and anxiety. My family is on board with what I am going thru, and I know this will pass. i just want it gone now. Lol! I really rely On Prayer and talking about whats going on with me and what I am feeling with the wife and kids and reading all the hope on this board. I do my best to get on with life. My body will heal itself, I just have to keep telling myself....."baby steps Chris." i just need to stay away from the 5hr energies also. Thanks for being here guys and girls.

Hi, everyone! Its nice to be back! Back in July 2014 I started a taperfrom 10 years of tramadol abuse. I was taking 14-15 a day for years and years. Well, I have been doing my taper since July and am down to 6 a day. I would be down lower but I kept slipping a few times since I am addicted, dependant and actually have severe spinal issues. Anyway, for all of you just starting out...you can do this. The withdrawals are a nightmare. I dropped from 14 to 8 in one fell swoop. I had withdrawals f0r about 7 to 10 days followed by about a month of depression and lethargy. And that was just from dropping my dose somewhat. I feel so bad for ppl who have to quit cold turkey. I have friends on this board who have done it and are doing it now. So I just wanted to lend my support to anyone who is going through this. God bless you all! You can do this!

Happy Valentines Day !

Pink girl - I kind of remember you posting last summer, as I found this site in April of 2014. Unfortunately I found this site after I went to detox and suffered so much as I went from taking 10 to 14 pills a day to zero. Doctors gave me drugs to help the withdrawal but they didn't help. I truly thought I was going to die in the hospital. Tapering sounds like the way to go.

My husband and I are heading to Vegas to see Rod Stewart in concert. This is my first fun trip in 10 months !! I feel pretty good. I want to encourage everyone I was as low as you can get, didn't have energy to go from the couch to bed many nights. It does get better in time. I think time is the only healer along with drinking tons of water and eating healthy and exercising when you can.

Yes, Meganann, when I dropped immediately from 14 down to 8 per day, exercise was so helpful! I had the worst withdrawals and never slept for a straight week but since I had already been working out prior to the taper, I just kept on working out and I really think it made all the difference. I would just wait until I took a dose and then about an hour later start my workout. I used zquil to sleep...but what kept me awake all night, every night was the crawly skin feeling...and the restless legs! omg, those feelings are the worst! You just cant lay still and I wasn't on any other prescriptions or anything so it was hard. I used the zquil but even that didn't help anything sometimes. If I couldn't sleep, I just got up and kept busy, even if it was 4 am.

@ruthy

It gets easier after time. I think its important to expose yourself to normal circumstances and regular life when you feel up to it. I have noticed the anxiety was always worse in the morning and it would lessen later in the day. I didn't do any major events for a couple of months, but I was able to go back to work on normal counter business days. It started out a little rough in the mornings, but I felt more normal as the day went on. Fatigue and tiredness was bad for a couple of months and I would take Tylenol. I remember sounds and noises feeling weird on my skin... but i think being exposed to them helps you to get used to them. I think it was helpful to work as it distracted me. Sitting at home just made me dwell on my symptoms and I feel it slowed recovery. However, I do want you to know that for at least a month I had to hide out at home.... just because my nervous system was raw. It was coming back online and didn't know how to handle all the stimuli. It was numbed for so long. It just has to rewire itself.

@Yorktown

The anxiety and dizziness will get much better!! You are so lucky to have a support system! I would maybe cut down on the 5 hour energies for now. I felt like it stimulated my nervous system too much. I could handle tea after about a month, but not more than one cup.

Allinblack- That's what I was thinking too. I'm on a short leave from work and all I do is dwell on symptoms, especially anxiety. I so need to work and I think i should at least try even though I deal with the public. I just don't know how,to handle the noise and demands of customers all day in a bank. When the day comes to jump I will have to completely lean on God. This is why I keep thinking if I taper 1/4 of a pill every week to ten days the jump will be more tolerable. Your response has given me hope. I can't thank you enough.
Pilgrim- way to keep going slow and steady, nice to meet you.
Megan, enjoy Rod Stewart! You deserve a fun getaway.
Blessings everyone!

I mean't Pinkgirl not pilgrim. This kindle prefills words.

Good day all, il see if this post it will be my third try.
I've been sweating for awhile now but it seems to be getting worse now that I'm tapering.
Well this will be day five

Well it posted part of it lol

To everyone and @Allinblack
Just checking in..... I am starting to think that a 5hr energy exaserbates the dizziness and anxiety. So I stopped it and did a cup of coffee the next day......late in the day. I could manage somewhat the dizziness and anxiety before i drank it. Now I'm full blown dizzy. My gosh I think i have been adding to the problem. So tomorrow I will skip all the Caffeine and report back. Thanks allinblack.

Yorktown- I have completely steered clear of all caffeine as it raises the anxiety level. I just started taking L-Tyrosine 750 mgs, from the health food store. It is an amino acid and it helps with clear thinking and energy. I've been afraid to try it but I finally did and it didn't make me nervous or anxious. I also take calcium, vitamin D and Zinc along with a good multiple B complex and extra b12. I still wake up anxious but I am actually having some decent days. There is a blend of Amino acids that come in capsule form that includes L-Tyrosine and I've been switching back and forth. Amino acids are supposed to be good for detoxing. I spent over 100.00 at the health food store on natural products and I think I'm noticing a difference. Blessings!
SHAUN! How are you?
Nick- my sweats subside after my body adapts to a drop in medication. That is my clear signal that I'm getting used to a dropped dose. Sometimes it takes longer. I have been only breaking out in sweats a few times a day lately so I know next week I have to lessen dose again, yuk!

Just want to see my ticker -- I am feeling as "normal" now as I remember feeling before the tramadol.  I still have 5 mgs of Prozac a day to help me.  This is all a miracle, as I was taking way more than the daily recommended limit (I was taking 14 - 16 50 mg pills a day, more on weekends) for a little more than 10 years.  I don't expect my brain to be close to healed until at least 10 months out.  However, the obvious withdrawal symptoms are gone.  The last to go was having a burning stomach & anxiety in the mornings ("cortisol" morning) from 2 - 3 months out, but it has calmed down over the past few weeks.
I do still have problems with socializing and small talk -- sometimes my brain just goes blank and I can't think of a word to say to someone --  and I still get "foggy brain" in the afternoons.  However, It doesn't stop me from living a full life now.  Tramadol did affect my creativity and the emotional part of my brain and I expect to see some changes over the next few months in those areas.  I don't plan to stop the Prozac until the end of March, on the advice of my psychiatrist.
I am so glad to see Ruthy, 1979 Nick, Yorktown, & pinkgirl all getting rid of this drug from their lives.  I hope Shaun is doing OK!

Good job IndigioIris! You have been through so much as I read all your posts. I didn't like reading about the anxiety taking so long. Did youtube.com get my PM? I sent you?

Sorry my kindle refilled the word youtube

Great to read everyone's updates.

IndigoIris, Prozac really helped me too ( 5 mgs as well).  Anxiety does hang on the longest, at least for me it did and does.  It much better now, however I don't know if it's related to menopause or the pills.

As I posted a few days ago we went to Vegas with another couple.  We were out two nights in a row till 2:00 am, gambling and drinking a couple of cocktails and I couldn't believe how great I felt, and awake I was without taking a stimulant.  Such a wonderful feeling to be normal again.  I truly never thought I would get this far in my recovery.  I'm tired today, and I should be tired !!

I don't remember who posted the comment that the more you interact with others and get on with your life the best you can, the recovery process seems to speed up.  This is not to say at the beginning you need to hide out and baby your body.  I stayed close to home for a month or so, then slowly ventured out and tried to establish a new routine.

Ruthy - you sound like you found the right combination of natural vitamins.  I'm happy for you !!

Hey! Megan123 is 321clean! Special number. Any sightings of Elvis?

Haha Ruthy!!

Shaun and all I took the cold turkey plunge and it was as bad as I thought if not worse, BUT I survived! This is the longest I have ever been off and I'm worried I have symptoms of delirium tremens, but I don't drink alcohol at all. I refuse to after losing my brother to suicide related to meds and alcohol. I tapered for 3 days and then just stopped 8 am yesterday. My night was horrible, but I know I don't ever want to go through that again and knowing that if I took 1 pill would make it all start over again keeps me moving and busy. I've had the brain zaps which I used to think sounded weird when other people would say that, but now I know exactly what they mean. I have chills and have worn a heavy coat all day, but we got a little cold front in San Antonio (Shaun I think you might be around here) that it works out in my favor. My family and kids are on board and praying and know that this is only one day in a long road to recovery, but just getting this far gives me hope. I never traveled much or would keep from doing certain things because of the meds and thinking of no longer being tied down brings me a hint of happiness and for now, that will suffice. I will try to keep posting as you guys really made this happen for me! God Bless All of Us and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Hello!

Meganann- im super happy for you to be able to go out and enjoy yourself with loved ones! Im beyond happy for you and your accomplishment! Things can only continue to get better for you from here! All the love and compassion you shared for others along the way is now being repaid to you in terms of your freedom. You are so strong!

Phoenix- The first day is always the biggest step and challenge. Im very proud of you for taking the plunge my friend! Go easy on yourself. Rest, eat, drink plenty of water. Whatever feels right, do it so you can get relief. As tough as things may get, you just fight hard! Ill pray for you and others on here as well!

Thanks Manny for your kind words.

Thephoenix - I know what you mean after getting thru 24 hours without tramadol and if you took one pill you would have to start all over. That statement in itself kept me from using again. I knew each day would get better.....at least mentally it did. The pills no longer had the power over me, I was stronger. I was buying them off the internet, and felt so good that I wasn't throwing $300 away anymore, and lying to my husband. Whoever said coming off tramadol is mostly mental it's true! and Phoenix you are absolutely correct.

Phoenix,
How many were you taking nd for how long? I tried to just stop one day not knowing anything or did not know about this support site. By day 7 my husband advised me to start up again and do it differently. I was a nutcase. I remember the physical symptoms were there along with PAWS at the same time. I am now tapering very slowly and though it is a slow torture it is doable. I'm praying I won't have the PAWS as bad when I finally stop. I know exactly what you are going through this minute. Deep breathing really does help. Breath in very slow as much as you can then hold 4-8 seconds and breath out very slow being aware of your diaphram. Repeat like 3 or 4 times. Do it often during the day. And walk or run. I would and do lay on the floor and lift and tense my legs for restless leg and body. I couldn't stop crying when I went cold turkey and also being in menopause made it a train wreck for me. Is it all possible to taper. I hate to know you are suffering so much

Good morning to everyone. Where is everyone, Nick, Shaun, Yorktown? I am now at 175mgs a day and think I'm going too fast. I feel bad all over. I have been on this dose for 3 days if I continue today and don't want to give in but I'm having too much anxiety. I will give hit one more day. Hope everyone is on track and looking to the horizon of a better anxious free life. I'm so curious to know if this anxiety is the worst it will be. It's weird, I get used to an anxiety level and it feels like this is all there is. Trying to get through a day of nervous tension. Day after day. Sorry for the doom and gloom but this is getting old. I have no desire to take Tramadol but I must take my allotted amount to keep sane. I go to Dr soon and dread him sending me to pain management as that is his protocol of tapering. They will not want to do a long taper then ill have to quit work and make my husband kill himself to pick up the financial slack. If I can't taper slow, ill just loose it.

I have posted every day! Il see if this works.
I wish the best for you Ruthy, healing prayers sent your way

This page is really messing up, it will only post parts of my messages or none at all!
For the fifth time, I tapere another 1/4 pill yesterday am I going to slow? Or is 1/4 every 7 dats ok?

Thank you Nick Prayer is much needed. I have not seen a post from you since the 15th. Are you in the right room? How is your taper coming along?I'm feeling bad today. I thought I was gonna be able to return to work yesterday but today I am trembling. This is something new and I'm only tapering!

Ruthy,
When I tried to taper I saw a Psychiatrist and he had me on a schedule to taper 1/2 a pill every 4 to 5 days, and he spread out the dosage throughout the day.  I couldn't handle tapering, but almost everyone on this forum tapered, then jumped ship when they were on a low dose.
I had tons of anxiety when I tapered, and tons when I went to hospital detox.  Detox was far worse, however for me I wanted to be done, and thought detox was the answer.
Your doctor may give you meds to help with tapering, such as a med to help with anxiety, and insomnia ( don't know if you have that ).
Anxiety effects everyone differently.  You sound a lot like me, I was scared and had nervous tension everyday, and wondered when I would ever feel good again.  For me, about 30 days after quitting tramadol I saw light at the end of the tunnel.
xoxo

Ruthy55 I went from 12 to 3 50mg overnight I completely messed my head up, you are doing well stay at what your on it will feel better in a few days, its a hard road but it will get better SLOWLY x

Ruthy,
Just saw your latest post....you are trembling. So sorry to hear. Your body is trying to adjust to the lower dosage. It may take a few days. Hopefully your doctor can prescribe something to help you thru this process.
Have you given any thought to a detox center ? My insurance covered 90% of cost. I went thru the trembling, sick stomach, and throwing up ( hate to say all this ) for 3 to 4 days, and this was with meds to supposedly help me. Once tramadol was out of my system, then the recovery came.

I feel so sorry for Ruthy55 I had all that a the beginning, god I hate tramadol, hello meganann x

Yeah, I could never get the taper right myself, I guess

In my regular tram days, I took about 4 a day. 2 in the morn, 1 about 4 hours later and then one in the eve... for years.

The I cut that eve dose in half.... eventually stopping it after 4 or 5 months.

Then became a regular 2 in the morn and 1 4 hours later for many years with no ill effects (although in retrospect, I think I was probably beginning withdrawals in my sleep because mornings were rough)

When I decided that I needed to quit, I did one and a half in the morn and then 1 a few hours later... sometimes maybe a tiny 4th in the late afternoon if I was feeling bad.  Did that for almost a year.  Never really had withdrawals while awake.

Then, I went to one and a 4th and then one later for a few months.

Then to one morning... one 4 hours later.  Started getting harder then.  Did this for about 6 months.  halved that morning one and then took a whole 4 hours later.  This was doable and I did this for month.  Then went to half morn and then half later.  Started feeling like crap.  tried 1/4th in the morn and one half later for a few weeks.  Things were awful at this dose.  I wasn't even taking one whole pill combined for the whole day. I could not feel the meds and the anxiety was unbearable.

That's when I just jumped.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I wanted to be done... really really done. It didn't seem like I was tapering right and I didn't even know if the pills I had from the internet were real.  Just over it.  I was able to work from home for a bit.

The bad withdrawal lasted 2 days.  I drank like 3 glasses of wine that first night and took Immodium in the middle of the night, which took away the restless creepies.  Could not do anything but lay in bed for these 2 days

The third day I pulled out of the really bad withdrawal and was able to work a few hours on the computer.  The 4th day some sort of euphoria came over me and I went to a daytime rock show.  On the 5th day I went and worked for a makeup counter. It was hard, but the Ibuprofen helped.  I was able to maintain my composure.  Actually, this 5th day was better than any day during my taper.

After that 7 day window, the bad PAWS for about a month. Then, it was really just all about healing and dealing.  Windows and waves.  Def much easier... and stranger! than the initial withdrawal.  The bouts of depression would suck, but i knew it wasn't real.  The anxiety was the lingering thing that irritated me.  Definitely not as bad as when the taper was happening though!

I never threw up or anything during initial withdrawal.  It could be because I tapered so slowly.  It still sucked though.  I am actually having trouble remembering all of this. I really, really had to think about it.

Hope everyone is ok!

All my best!!

Sadly, I take Klonapin already for sleep and anxiety, 150mgs. Yes another bad drug prescribed by a Dr. Actually my Psychiatrist. I am trying to take part of that dose and see if it helps in the day. I'm home alone and have panic attacks. Maybe I should go back to 188 mgs of Tramadol. I forgot a dose the other day and seemed fine so I got excited and stayed there.
. I think that is why my body loved the Tramadol, it gave me confidence and less anxiety at work. I innocently took it for chronic pain. I think I'm reading too many horror stories lately though. I've been exercising, getting sunshine, juicing, taking Gaba with tons of supplements. Im really just saddened that I will have to quit work. I don't want to be a prisoner in my own home but going to work is quite the opposite helping customers all day. I just know I would have an attack in public. Thanks everyone. Love to all

@Ruthy

Take time for yourself and don't feel bad about it.

I just wanted to say something about the panic attacks and the fear of them..... The more you avoid situations because of the fear of having panic attacks the more it becomes a learned behavior... and then places you can go gets smaller and smaller and smaller.

Taking some time to rest during withdrawal is totally necessary... just make sure and get out and about when you can.  I had to force myself to go into public after initial withdrawal. It usually was never as bad as I had made it out to be in my head and the distraction helped me not focus on withdrawal.  Its good for your brain when you feel like you have the strength

This is coming from a former agoraphobic!  This was way before my tramadol days.  At 17 years old, I feared leaving my home because I was afraid I would have a panic attack.  It took some major courage, cognitive behavior actions and facing my fears to overcome this.  In withdrawal, I saw myself getting into my old patterns and I had to really make myself do some uncomfortable things.  I also allowed myself not to feel guilty for staying home when I really needed to during initial withdrawal.  I started getting out after about a month.  Take a paper bag with you if you go anywhere.  I had one on me a lot then.  I would go to the bathroom and breathe in it.  Also, I don't know why this works, but I always found that menthol cough drops helped my anxiety.  I don't know why... I still suck on them these days when I feel anxious.  Maybe it's distracting?

If you feel overwhelmed reading about withdrawal symptoms, take little breaks off the net. It's ok.  We will still be here for you

You will make it through this.  I am so excited to think about your future updates!  Just like I was when blockhead, meganann and many of the others started posting good news.
XOXO

Allinblack,
Your taper schedule really makes sense, very slow. I wish I knew then what I learned know from this forum.

Ruthy,
I also don't want to scare you regarding w/d's, as you may fair differently and better than some. The good news is many of us posting, once we stopped taking tramadol , we never went back, and each day gets better. Even as you are tapering, there are small victories in taking less mgs. Rejoice that you have made it this far. I know how hard it is.....and your comment about tramadol giving you confidence I felt the same way.
Xoxo

I think my morning dose has to be increased and taper off the later doses. I'm so used to taking 2 in the morning and I've been trimming off that. If I start out with too little in the morning, the anxiety starts in and I'm stuck in anxiety the rest of the day. I am truly grateful for all of your selfless time helping others here. All of you are so amazing. I'm afraid to tell my Dr just how hard this is. I'm afraid she will try to stop my Klonapin and that simply can't happen at this time. I would be suicidal as my body is dependant on that. If I only knew how bad these two drugs were I never would have taken them. I'm gonna try to do some deep breathing in bed to see if I can sleep. Funny thing, since the tapering, Klonapin doesn't really help me sleep. It will get better I know. Love to all

Ruthy55 I know exactly what you mean about tapering the evening dose as not having enough to get started was hard. For me, tapering was to easy to mess up and so I would fail all the time. I have been addicted for 10 years. It started when I had some strange nerve problem when I was pregnant with my daughter. They gave me Ty-3 at night and it worked, however after I had her I never got better. I got access to Vicodin for several years and had several serious surgeries that gave me access to more pain meds. I eventually was given a "better" alternative TRAM 7 years ago and was physically addicted ever since. I hated myself and became an over achiever in other things to combat the self loathing. At my lowest 6 50 mg pills a day and at my highest 16 on horrible days 18. I had wanted to get off when the law changed as I didn't like the idea of getting them from India, but I think weaning made the idea even scarier. Every time I would take less, I'd start to feel like I hadn't taken any in hours, like my brain exaggerated what it thought I needed just to make sure it got it's fix. Be in this fragile early state I worry that my experience will scare someone, but I can't stress the idea of how it's the fear of it that stops it. So far there are all kinds of symptoms, but they don't last forever and I remind myself that after rain are rainbows and even after a long cold winter, each day is getting warmer and I know summer will be here in no time. The great thing about this place is finally there are other who know how you feel, and will not judge you as we don't want to be judge as well. I'm praying for all of us who are just starting the journey and for those who are just looking down from the diving board. Do let anyone push you as I think it has to be within you. And believe me, after 10 years, no body could push me, I jumped in and did a cannonball! May God Be With Us All Now and In Our Darkest Hour, Amen!

Shaun I remember when you told me that I should start my breaking free ticker and I honestly didn't think I would EVER get a clean 1 day ticker going. Now seeing 3 days just makes me smile, cry (I'm still withdrawing after all) and feel better than popping a few pills any day! I pray you are ok and that when your ready, we will celebrate your day 1 clean soon. I'm sure we all want to hear how you are doing.

Phoenix- Thank you for lifting my spirits while I know you are suffering so! I won't even ask how you are feeling cause I was off Tram for 7 days and just couldn't take it mentally so now I'm tapering but it is wearing me out. I want to jump after I have a procedure in March. Are you working at all? I sure hope not. Ill be praying for you too and everyone else. Hope Shaun is ok.

Funny thing is I'm a teacher and I took off the 1st 2 days but have been back since. I think it helps me though so I don't focus about not having meds. I get zaps and shivers, hot flashes, but I slept though the night and I know it was the loading up on magnesium and vitamins !

Phoenix- You are working and have no anxiety?

I had to take today off as the withdrawals were overwhelming and I couldn't sleep. The anxiety is there, but I try not to focus on it. Today was pretty bad, but I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. I'm really just tired of feeling like this and know that if I had some pills, I would might just relapse. I purposely have kept it very far away as I don't EVER what to go through these symptoms again. Reading all the other peoples comments about it getting better is what keeps me going during the hardest of times. God Bless All of Us!

Keep doing what you are doing Phoenix. You are taking it one day at a time, and it takes about 5 days for the drug to be out of your body. It does get better, or I won't be where I am. It's going to take a couple of,weeks, then your normal sleep pattern will return. You will have ups and downs the first 30 days, and the up days will give you courage to continue the fight. Its wonderful you are able to return to work at least on a part time basis it sounds like. You sound like you are doing pretty well, keep up the good work.
xoxo

You are doing amazing Phoenix! Much better than I did for sure. There is no shame with taking some time off. Frequent hot baths or showers helped me immensely! Staying hydrated and cool with a fan also was a life saver for me. It DOES get better, no matter how much your mind plays tricks on you telling you to go back. Much like your name, you will rise from the ashes and be better than before! Much love guys! =-)

I know what you mean Phoenix when you say WDs are overwhelming. I'm just tapering, at 188mgs,, and even a little drop is felt so strong. I hope you can rest up this weekend. Every time I get overwhelmed I keep telling g myself, "God is just healing me, it's a good thing, this is not me, it's the drug and this will pass". Well ok I just started that yesterday but it made for a better day!

Today was better, and I got to ride my horse and jog as I'm hoping that will wear me out so I can sleep. Praying has been a huge thing as well. My kids are watching me go through it, and they are my biggest cheerleaders. I couldn't ever deal with going away to rehab as my kids are everything to me so I just let it go on thinking that one day I would be able to leave for a little while and they would be okay. I don't think that will ever happen, I'm Hispanic and we don't like to leave our kids, I live next door to my parents for goodness sake :) The hardest thing is the creepy crawling feelings at night. I think I may need to see a doctor about the lorazepam to get through the night. The vitamin and herbal stuff are cutting it. I know why so many people on this post say it is or was the fight of their life. I pray for strength and peace during this everyones most difficult time.

Yes indeed it is difficult. Today I don't want to get out of bed but I will and I will keep fighting this bleeping anxiety

Good morning all, hope all is well. Sorry I've not been on,been trying to stay out doors as much as possible before surgery! I'm down to 150 mgs today. I'm going to stop all as soon as I get surgery on March 2nd, like some off you said Mab the other drugs they give me after surgery will make it a little smoother!

Not sure if I'm spelling this right but have any of you herd of tracolyn? it's supposed be all natural and help anxiety,tremors and sleeping at night

Wishing a great comfortable day to you all!

Good job Nick! Ill be praying

Hey everyone. Just checking in. Im scared!! Im 3 months clean from Tramadol and my biggest complaint is Equilibrium problems. Its like I'm always dizzy. If I move too much it seems to exacerbate the problem. I took 200mgs a day for 7-8 months for a Kidney Stone. Is this normal??? I hate waking up every morning with this haze and slight dizziness. Its sooo hard to want to make plans. By the way.Stopping Coffee and a 5hr energy was a big help. My anxiety has been cut more than half. You wouldn't think that it would flip me out all day but it did. I really just get anxiety and scared when I have to leave the house, cause I'm afraid of this dizzy thing. Im a healthy guy, 38 non smoker and don't drink or do drugs. I just would have thought 3 months into this, I wouldn't be having this problem. Thanks for this board, it has helped a lot.

yorktown76 it totally normal,i still get it not as much as the first 5 months,i get it very little now,as for making plans it get better with time

Yorktown,

Its very normal to feel that way. I am 6 months out and I still feel anxious. Not as much as in the beginning, but still feel it. Its not to say you will feel it this long either, but its all common symptoms. Just ride out the bad wave. Staying away from all caffeine, soda, sugar is the way to go. Its helps big time when you try and maintain a healthy lifestyle as much as possible. Going for long walks or running will help speed up this process. i can't stress that enough. But don't worry or stress, as it'll make it worse. You will heal in time. =-)

Been doing pretty good and only getting by with lorazepam every other day . Drinking.less caffeine helps all it. Yorktown I'm afraid I'm of no use as I am only 1week out, but I'm hoping that you will soon feel better. Get your ears checked and if you fly that may make it worse. Get well soon!

Thanks so much!!!! Makes me feel a lot better. Its so easier to go thru this, when there is light at the end of the tunnel. I wont lie, i will still have a cup of coffee at night with a ton of sugar. Now ive started dipping. Im gonna cut out all the junk food and coffee and the dipping thing. I just get so depressed and want a normal day. I get frustrated and grab junk food sneaking coffee and dipping tobacco. Gosh! Lol! I swear im a mess. Dizziness Please Go away!!!! This board is so helpful.

Yorktown did you revisit your Dr and tell him this? My Dr says there is no such thing but they just don't know. My Dr said it is just my anxiety disorder acting up. Isn't that special!

I do have anxiety but not even like this. It is/was under control and I never had a social problem until now. I was just a worryer if that's what you call it.

I experienced the ultimate test.  I had Moh's surgery ( skin cancer ) near my ear and it was more invasive than expected.  It was squamous, and all cancer removed,  The doctor prescribed a pain medication, Norco.  I told her my addiction to tramadol and I was uncomfortable taking Norco.  She said Norco was very different than tramadol......I was like, yea, right, you have no idea the horror of tramadol.  She told me I needed to get ahead of the pain that I was going to experience once the local anesthetic wore off.

As you can all imagine I was really scared, but took Norco as prescribed for two days, didn't feel a high, it took away about 80% of the pain.  I'm off Norco, and feel fine, no withdrawal.....still a little pain from surgery, but don't need the big guns, Tylenol works fine.

I'm thankful to God I didn't feel the need to take more Norco, nor did I want to.  I'm feeling much more normal, and the anxiety seems to have lifted.....I'm close to my one year mark, can't wait !

Megan- So proud of you! I think Tramadol is such a different bird. It doesn't take long for those evil little white pills to set the hook and anything else taken as prescribed is fine because there is no anti depressant in all the other pain killers. I honestly don't think your an addict as addicts go. You were a victim as we all are and the drug that should be Off the market got you! I have taken Norco and the likes and never craved taking it for any other reason than pain. Poor Yorktown got hooked on Tramadol and he was taking as prescribed and his Dr refuses to believe it is the Tramadol with his withdrawal symptoms. Unbelievable! I tried to tell my Dr yesterday and she said it is my anxiety acting up. However she will let me taper a year if I need it but I don't know if I can hang that long with wd symptoms from tapering as I know the PAWS may be waiting. Either way it *****!
I am so glad you don't have cancer! You are a true inspiration to me and everyone here!

Did any of you get this...I have a lot of people asking me if I'm okay as they think I look different. I'm hoping it's in a good way, but they don't really say much. I know I'm different and get why some people say you are going to lose friends or have people not like you once your off the meds. I'm easy going, and I think sometimes I let people take advantage of my kindness, and feel like now I can say no. The part I love the best is knowing I don't have a dirty little secret anymore and my ex can't bring me down about it ever again. I didn't have too many acute symptoms today, but was quieter than normal. I know better to think the worse is over. I think seeing the little ticker helps me too. Hang in there everybody and keep praying for all of us and especially for Shaun!

Well this day *****, just got a call saying my surgery was canceled because my insurance refused to pay, now I get to go threw a appeal process, this changes everything I had planned, I'm so freaking lost on what to do now.......

@meganann123

Glad they got the cancer removed!  I had the same experience as you with the other pain meds.  I was scared to death to take them.  I had hydrocodone once for shingles and once for the dentist and then my Dr prescribed Tylenol 3 for my costochondritis.  No ill effects.  Took only as needed.  Felt no desire to keep taking them. I still have leftovers of all 3.  I think one expired. So, no more fear of that! :)

There is just something different about the tram.  Must be the antidepressant serotonin flooding.  I think that's what they say MDMA/Ecstasy does to people.

@Ruthy... these Drs will just not accept the fact these drugs mess with your neurotransmitters and cause this fake anxiety. Yes, I had anxious moments before and during tram... but whatever was happening during taper and quitting was NOT a return to my "previous condition".  It is like nothing I've ever felt.  Why don't I feel that way now?  Because it was the danged drugs.  I guess they just don't understand.  Seems Drs are just way undereducated and I assume Big Pharma likes it this way.  Big money!  They sure love to sweep this stuff under the rug.

@Phoenix.  Yes, people said I looked different.  They said I got the sparkle back in my eye. I found people liked me more after the drugs were out of my system.  They said I used to be cold and distant... and I suppose I was.

I wish all of you the best of luck, and for those who have made it threw... Can't wait to be like you!
Healing prayers to all of you!

I got the same comments that I looked different and I did for awhile.  My eyelids were half opened at the beginning but that all went away.

I'm still in pain from the skin cancer removal, and I'm tired and will take it easy for the next few days.  Glad to hear Allinblack you were on hydrocodone ( Norco is generic, or the other way around), and you were ok.  Yes, it has to be the antidepressant serotonin flooding our brain from tramadol that makes us feel so good.  Norco doesn't make me feel good, it does what it's suppose to do reduce pain.

Nickm - sorry to hear about your insurance delay, what a bummer.  Hang in there hopefully they will approve your surgery.

Megan- I miss understood and didn't realize you actually had cancer removed. I prayed last night for you that it would not come back.
I am struggling at 175mgs. I have to increase the morning dose a little and take off the later doses. It seems,like if I start out low, it just spirals down with anxiety. I am beginning to get angry at this med now!

You will only get angrier as it has a hold of your life longer than you thought. I'm tired of the withdrawals :( the lack of sleeping is exhausting.. I went to my accupuncturist and it helped but I still feel crap. I wish I didn't have to work.:(

I wish you didn't have to work either Phoenix. You are almost 2 weeks clean, what an accomplishment. Shortly you should be able to sleep better at night, and by day 30 I hope and pray you are feeling better. I remember doing better after 30days. Take care !

Hi everyone! I am still on a small dose of Prozac (5 mgs daily) and I have been doing OK, and not taking any other medication. Life goes on, and I strongly encourage everyone to keep tapering or abstaining from tramadol; it is amazing to wake up and not worry about where the bottle of pills is!

I started back to work and it was ok. I am learning to deal with anxiety. Did anyone have insomnia while tapering. I'm still at 175mgs. I need to sleep. Will sleep get better after I get used to this dose?

I'm still free from the Tram and will get a couple of things still like the sneezing, tummy aches, and cold sweats. At the acupuncturist he hit a point that caused cold sweat which was freaky :) I found that I have to workout everyday for at least 30 minutes or I won't sleep until 2-3a.m. even with 3mg of Adivan and melatonin. I looking forward to after this week as I will be on spring break so that will be nice to just focus on getting better. I found that I listen to music alot more and that helps me with depression. I suffered from PTSD after trying to save my brother who committed suicide by putting a bullet in his head 2011. We were very close and I always saved him, but I couldn't that night and I'm slowly seeing that was one of the reasons I continued medicating myself. I couldn't save him and I numbed much of my grief by taking the meds. I have bouts of depression and will cry sometimes what seems at the drop of a hat, but not for long and I feel better afterwards. I think I need to as part of my grieving. My brother was a chemical engineer/ alcoholic and was so sick when he died as he couldn't beat the addiction. It is for him that I'm doing this as well as others things in his honor as I was the pesky little sister who played with his GI Joes and would pick him up when he fell. I miss him everyday and know that he watches over me especially at night when I have horrible tremors and wish I could just give up. Nobody but you guys understands the embarrassment, denial, and pain that this one simple pill can do and I pray more will people including Dr. will see it for what it really is, a demon in pill form! 2 weeks and not looking back! Keep Moving Forward!!
God Bless All of us!!
Great Strong to listen to Strong Enough by Matthew West!

Shaun you are in my prayers and I know we would all love to know you are okay.
May the Lord Be With You, Always!

Phoenix,

I commend you on your HUGE accomplishment! 14 days is a giant leap, and I am very proud of you! You are strong for breaking the cycle and choosing not to be a slave anymore. Things may seem overwhelming with previous issues you may have, but you are on the right path this time. We can't be punished for trying to consistently do the right thing, so things will get better in time.

You are so right, music was, and is a huge motivator. I used to listen to talk radio during my Tramadol days, and forgot my love of music. But it has played a big part of my recovery. Even positive quotes, uplifting movies, and motivational speeches have been of great assistance! I highly recommend those when you feel well enough. Just know that all of this is normal,I felt the same way you did and you will eventually feel better. You have been, and will continue to be in my prayers. I pray for you daily. Hang in there and stay strong! =-)

You made me laugh Manny about listening to talk radio:) I would only listen to it thinking I just outgrew music. Now I think there is something more there. I used to play piano and sax and haven't touched it for years but maybe that's another thing I can take up. Thank you for your prayers and know that my family prays for all of us! I didn't sleep well at all and woke up really grumpy but reading your response and encouragement helps me know I can do this!

So sorry to hear about the loss of your brother Phoenix. Tramadol does numb ones grief that's for sure. I lost my son to brain cancer when he was 11 years old, and tramadol helped me not to feel grief, but it eventually catches up with you.

Tramadol really is in a class all by itself. I recently took Norco for skin cancer surgery and I have pills left in my cupboard. It took away my pain, and made me sleepy....didn't make me feel good at all. Thank goodness there is a pain med out there that doesn't make you high or loopy. I hate that evil drug tramadol.

Hope you are feeling better Phoenix, Ruthy, Shaun and Manny.

I have good news. Since I have spread out my dosing to keep my blood level even, I had been sweating with yucky anxiety. The past few days I have completely stopped sweating. What a treat to not be perspeiring all the time. My anxiety is under control somewhat, I am finding a lot of the anxiety is really nerves and as soon as I get to work I forget I'm anxious because I'm too busy.Just can't sleep real good. Ill take it! I never thought I would see progress and I am. The rough part of spreading out the dose was the hardest so far as I felt bad withdrawals. I think the slow taper will be a bit easier from here. I so want to end this but I won't. Slow and steady is working for me. I have no desire to take Tramadol but do it only cause I have to.
Just wanted to encourage those doing a slow taper. Even out the doses so you don't feel anything when taking it and if you can get through this, it gets easier. I've been doing this since Dec. and feel much better. No high and the anxiety gives me energy in a weird way. through the day. Hope everyone is doing well.
Phoenix you are doing amazing to do this all while working. Glad spring break is coming.
Shaun? Still praying for you
Nick, any news with your surgery?

There are no way tramadol will cure your grief. It is something within us to handle it. Some anti depressant meds can help too to balance your condition, of how you feel. We can always try other pain medicine that will help us and not feel so high.

What an aweful 2 days, my best friends son committed suicide on monday morning, he was only 25, was like a son to me, the devastation it has caused is unthinkable, got to stay strong for his family, I ever there was a time I need that tramadol high its now, but I will resist x

I'm so sorry for your loss blockhead. Very, very sad ! I'm glad you are resisting the tramadol.

Stay strong as nothing will bring him back. Suicide is so under reported and there it's almost taboo to talk about. The family has it the hardest because there is no one to blame so they blame themselves. My parents regret having a gun, my siblings wish they could have talked to him and I wish he would have come to talk to me or that the CPR I gave would have worked. There is sadness everywhere. One thing my family did was all go to build a bear and we each made a bear to remind us of him. It was a wonderful experience and getting the family together in a fun way is one way to help. I will pray for the family and all of us tramadol troopers!

Please accept my deepest condolences Blockhead. I can sympathize since I have a close family member on his death bed due to cancer this week, and it tears you apart inside when there is nothing one can do to make all the pain go away. Stay strong my friend. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. =-)

Oh bless you all, thanks that means a lot xx

I'm so sorry Blockhead. I have lost 2 cousins do to suicide last year and one of my cousins was an addict. He didn't share his suffering from using and not being able to stop. I can relate to the thought of ending my life because of the terrors of Tramadol but I never would. I would rather suffer my own consequences than make my family suffer. . Thank you for sharing this with us. I think we can use this situation you shared for good when the depression sets in. I know you will stand strong and not use. You suffered so much and now have your wits somewhat about you to support and grieve with the family. I'm praying.

Sorry for your loss, blockhead.

Yesterday evening and last night were absolutely horrible! I was having seizure like body tremors and nothing I did helped. It was as if I had just stopped taking but it's been 17 days, I'm just trying to get by at work but without sleep I feel like I just want to give up. There is only so much I can take of the lack of sleep. Crying didn't make a dent either. I'm praying this storm will pass soon!

Phoenix, I'm so sorry, I know you have spring break very soon and I'm excited for you! I'm praying hard. I started shaking just from tapering. I'm scared and am holding my dose and hope it subsides. Do you tremble at all in the daytime while at work?

Last night I swam, I used to compete in high school but I'm not in shape so I like to watch the younger kids freak when a short chubby girl can out swim them:) Anyhow I still took Adivan but I finally slept through the night no moving:) I feel much better today :). I think my body was trying to force me back into its tram routine. It is definitely going to be battle for a while! Having you guys in my life is better than rehab! I don't shake at all during the day but sometimes I have to move. But being a teacher I don't sit still much anyways. The part that stinks is even though I'm excersing and earring better, I'm gaining weight but my clothes fit bigger? Any experience like this?

I gained weight too....10 lbs, but my clothes were much tighter. I developed abdominal fat, and bigger hips almost overnight it seemed. I was craving tons or carbs and sugar, thus the weight gain. I've lost the weight, but it took me 6 months to get it off thru exercise and healthy eating. I never had a weight problem before. At least your clothes fit bigger, that's good news.

I can imagine swimming has got to make your body and mind feel really good. I'm glad you slept last night !

Still feeling the leg heebeejeebees which I think is comparative to what heroin addicts call "kickin", where the leg just twitches. I feel like exercising is finally easier for me as when I tried to on Tram I would get nauseous easily and tire much faster. I saw a Chinese Acupuncture study and the man that was in the study talked about a distended stomach which I feel like my legs are carrying the weight and the belly is just there, but I've never been thin. At this point, that is the last thing I care about. I have actually gone the other way about food, where I eat way better than I did on the meds. I prefer a salad or soup 9 times out of 10. I've read that craving sugar and carbs is a yeast imbalance. I had recently taken heavy antibiotics for a tooth infection and took probiotics for a while to help get that in control and I guess it worked, because I'm not the sugar fiend I was. I loved eating Sour patch kids? I can remember first reading through these pages and being amazed at what this dumb pill could make people do. Needless to say they say it takes 21 day for you to make or break a habit so I know I'm no where close to being in the clear, but seeing the ticker sure makes me smile considering I had planned to just be starting my ticker today. "Brick by Brick" I'll get there ;) God Bless Everyone this Evening!

I lost several pounds since I started tapering and now that I'm getting used to my gut wrenching and nausea I have been eating more and have gained weight and my clothes are also still super loose. I thought it weird too.

^I still had random nights of restless legs several weeks into recovery, magnesium supplements seem to help. Congrats on your time, Ruthy and thephoenix. As for weight gain, I gained 16 pounds in less than 3 months from September through November, which was my taper and quit time. I have lost only 2 so far but getting off the tramadol is more important than worrying about a few pounds.

We are having our kids over for Sunday dinner and I just feel spent from cutting my taper. I normally get so excited when the family comes but I feel like an empty shell. Lord give me mercy. Church was good medicine this morning!

Today I feel like I have taken no Tramadol. I cut from 175 mgs to 150mgs a few days ago and boy do I feel it. Crying, sweating. Shaking, gut hurts so bad. I think I cut too much too soon. I accidentally missed a dose 3 days ago and decided to stay there. I don't want to raise my dose after 3 days of suffering so I'll see if I can stick it out. I want to be done! I'm so sorry for complaining I always feel better talking about it and my poor husband is trying so hard to support me but you can only vent so long.. This is my worst day so far. Not fun. I think the worst symptom is the uneasiness feeling in my chest like a fearful feeling. Does anyone know what I am talking about with that uneasy feeling? It's bad today.

Yes, Indigoris, that is what my doctor said. She didn't care about my weight gain ( I did ), most important was not using tramadol. The doctor was right, you can eventually lose the weight, the priority is getting off and staying off tramadol.

Ruthy,
Absolutely I had the uneasy feeling, I had Easter dinner last year at my house, and it was horrible. I had terrible anxiety, then I would become really chatty, tired, and was ready for everyone to go home early. I was use to taking more tramadol to feel better.....but I was newly off it, by way of almost cold turkey. If you can try to stay at 150 mgs, you are doing well and your body will adjust. I know how hard it is !!!!

The uneasy feeling is the worst, but cutting down is better in the long run. I'm going to try to go the night without any lorazepam as that has been what is allowing me to sleep and not have these crazy seizure like movements at night. No work means I can suffer and I made sure I had not obligations. I'm planning on going swimming tomorrow afternoon, but my body is going to have reset it itself and stop being a slave to manmade drugs. Of course this is much easier to say now, when it's not 5 am and I'm flipping out :) just trying melatonin, magnesium and valerian root to get me to sleep. Definitely reading the bible as it's is only my the grace of God that I've gotten this far and no relapse. My family sometimes worry, I just tell them, if I wanted to, I could easily order or picked up a script and go back to the old habit. I NEVER want to have to go through this painful process again. I think it has to be so hard to get through it, otherwise we just go back. Who knows, maybe one day I will relapse, but the hell I have had to go through at times will definitely make me think twice. May God Grant us Peace and Mercy during our hardest hours!
Amen and hang in there Ruthy!

May God give us daily grace to endure. I've been using edibles to sleep and am unable to sleep without it which I wouldn't be able to work with very little sleep. I don't like doing this but my body is too fragile to loose sleep. I can't even drive let alone work with no sleep. That's why I was asking how Phoenix can work while quitting.
Megan, I will hold at 150. I need to try to sleep w/o the edibles and I know they are not an opiate but I do worry. I just sleep and oh it feels so good to feel sleepy cause it ain't happening alone. I hate the uneasy feeling, it feels like I'm gonna loose control any minute and I'm just tapering! Please pray for me. I'm praying for everyone too.

Your statement you posted in your prior post is very true.  If it was easy to come off tramadol, I would be back on it, and maybe others would too. The horrors of tramadol keep me off.

Ruthy, have you heard of 5-HTP?  It helps with energy.  Several people on this board have used it.  You can purchase it at a vitamin store, not expensive.  He helped me in the beginning.

Maybe you need to stay at 150 mgs for a month or so.  I'm not a doctor, but it may take you months to come off this drug, and that's OK.  The victory is that you are successfully tapering.  It may not be as fast as you want, but you're doing it.

I do pray for you.

Megan- I think you are right in that I will have to go extra slow. Thank you for encouraging me. I am doing it! I just can't enjoy life with the horrible anxiety in my chest. You are so kind to cheer us on. I want to give back when this is over. I hate this medication so much, like you said, never again. Who would possibly want to take this crap again and go through hell on earth again. I have a colonoscopy coming up and I just don't know if I will shake like crazy and freak the Dr and nurses out. Pray for that please. Best to all

Hello guys!

I heard something interesting from someone that struck a cord with me and thought it could help others here as well. I was told if you consistently do the right thing, day in and day out, and try and try to be the best YOU that you can be, that things will get better. While things may not seem to be changing or improving, in the bigger picture they are!

Keep doing the right thing every day, and I promise that your situation will eventually improve. Doing bad things will only bring on negative in our lives, and doing positive will only bring on great things!

I love you guys! =-)

I just wanted to stop in and say hi to everyone.  Looks like everyone is sticking with it and some are having improvements.  Hang in there... it gets easier.

Remember me... because I am proof.

Tomorrow I celebrate 2 years off!  The very last tramadol I took was on this day 2 years ago.  I remember I was in taper down to a very low amount.  It was my mom's birthday and I remember it was cold outside that day.  She had a little birthday luncheon and I was not feeling well at all.  Although it was cold, I was pouring sweat in the restaurant.  I was shaking and nervous. The noises were traumatizing!  I could barely hold a conversation.  I had that uneasy feeling like I was just going to snap at any moment.  I went and ordered a big glass of wine at the counter and that's the only way I got through that dinner.  I decided at that moment NO MORE.  No more family events ruined. No more.  I was done.  I was originally planning to keep on tapering until i was practically breathing the dust, but I decided the next morning to just not take any.  I woke up and was seeing how long I could go.. and just kept fighting not to take it.  I was making it... not easily.. but making it.  I remember my husband coming home and I told him I didn't take any and planned on keeping with it.  He didn't think it was a good idea, but he understood.

Then the night came... I think I just sat in front of the TV feeling like I had the flu.  Had a glass of wine and went to bed.  Sure enough I was awake a few hours later feeling soooooo heavy, dark and weird.  But i knew I had gone too far to stop now.  I was very restless, but took some Immodium and I could feel it taking that really dark scary heavy feeling away.  I was able to sleep a little.  Next day came and was pretty bad.  I just laid in bed and managed to work a couple of hours somehow.  Slept a lot.  Evening came around again.  Pretty lousy feeling!  Another evening glass of wine and Immodium later.  Slept a little.  First half of third day was hard again, but something happened in the afternoon... the really bad part just lifted.  I got up out of bed.  I was able to work about 4 hours.  That was the end of the acute withdrawal for me.

Then, of course it was a roller coaster of PAWS after that.  Moments of pure euphoria.  Moments of weird distress and depression... but i knew it was temporary and chemically induced.  I knew it was serotonin related because I was having weird moments that felt like I was coming off LSD.  I guess most people wouldn't notice it if they had never done that drug... but, unfortunately, I was a wild teen at one point.

Overall, a very life changing experience.  I'm not even going to say it was in a bad way. It was hard and painful sometimes but  it opened up a lot in my mind. It helped me overcome things I had been not dealing with for years.  I'm so much stronger now.  It's a very deep spiritual thing to experience.  Going to the gates of hell and coming back.  It was very interesting learning to feel and sense things all over again.  The brain is a strange thing.

Hang in there!

XOXO

Saying hi and wishing you all luck
, I'm so sorry blockhead, I wish you and your friends family the best! Time will heal
When I was 25 I watched my dad die very slowly from cancer, he was only 53 when he past. Haven no control is very hard,
I can't believe I made it, because at the time you just can't fathom the possibility of being without someone for the rest of your life, not hearing a voice the laughter, hell I miss being yelled at by him lol, sorry not trying to make this about me, but 10 years later I still talk to him and pray!

Well I told my doctor about what this tramadol is doing to me and he got offended I would say that! He says nope tramadol does not cause any type of withdrawal whatsoever, out of 100 patients he sees that take it I'm the only one to say this about tramadol! Then goes on to say maybe I'm just a depressed person who needs other drugs lol, I said no your wrong he got mad and left the room.....came back 5 min later and said I just looked it up and there's no news of this drug being bad,..I say well it's a fairly new drug and you doctors I think dont know enough about it, he says well I don't think you know what your talking about... I say the drug came out around 1996, it's made with a anti depressant, I was told its a non- narcotic and as safe as over the counter drug! Now 4 months ago the government changes it to a narcotic and a controlled substance in the same category as Vicodin! The doctor got mad and left not to come back!! Two nurses came in talked to me! Agreed with me and apologized. I whent to investigate the drug more so I talked to three different pharmacist. They all said there having reports of this drug and advices me to quit also!

The next day my doctor calls my house himself,which never happens. To he wants me to come in and fill out a human health behavior packet and see a shrink?..I said no and he hung up!
Everyone is saying he's scared of a lawsuit..but that was not my intention I just want off this drug. Can you guys believe this's crap doctors are freaking idiots...........I'm at a lose of words for that guy!

Well I'm an appeal process with my insurance for surgery, hope I win!

All I have to say 1979Nickm is GOOD FOR YOU for sticking up for yourself and all of us!  Reading that was awesome as everything you said is correct.  I bet everyone who has posted on here is an expert on this freaking drug and know more than any doctor.  I think pharmacist are much more knowledgeable as my pharmacist friend who had filled scripts for me totally agreed with me when I told him that I had withdrawal from stopping taking it.  He even suggested a natural homeopathic med he carried for RLS (didn't work very well otherwise I would have posted it).  I'm sorry that you had to go through that, and I pray you win your appeal, but hopefully that doctor will think twice about handing out Tramadol like it's Tylenol.

Allinblack reading your story, gives me hope and while I'm not even a month out, I can relate to being stronger for getting through this.  I wasn't wild and have never done an illegal drug in my life, but I can now understand how difficult getting off anything is on the body and the soul.  I hope that I to will get to one day write back that it has been two years, although I'm praying I won't because that means there are still people addicted and having horrible withdrawals.

As for me, I am not taking anything now except for melatonin to sleep and a tea.  I didn't sleep much last night, but with just having stopped the lorazepam I knew that would happen. Thankfully I only took a very low dose for a very short time.  I'm praying I sleep, but either way, as long as I'm not taking that damn Tram, I'll wake up better no matter what.  Manny I totally believe in Karma, which is along the lines of what you said and just make sure every day that I'm the best mom and daughter (right now I can't please everyone :) as I can be!

Hi Everyone, Phoenix, hope you can sleep normally before going back to school. I have the uneasiness in in my chest that is just killing me. I want to know if this is always present and normal. It gets worse as the day goes on and by bed time I am in such a bad way. Can you guys chime in? I won't lower my dose until this lifts. It keeps me from functioning well sometimes.

Ruthy, the tightening of the chest is what finally made me have to take 4 mgs (1 at 4pm and 3mg at 11pm) of lorazepam yesterday as I had it all the night before, then all day and tried everything I could to make it go away or just tolerate until it my body kicked in to stop it. It got so bad when I finally caved that I thought I was going to asphyxiate as the feeling was just too much. My mom holds the meds so getting it forces me to ask which I HATE doing. I literally prayed the rosary 5X the night before last to try to sleep. I don't think I slept more than 1 hour and then every single withdrawal crept up. I was having chills, sneezing, coughing and my entire body ached and I just ate it all night. I tried so hard and it wasn't until 4pm the next day that I finally broke down for the meds. I slept all night and woke up too late to go swimming, but then the rest of the today, I had no desire to do anything, but sit on the couch. I purposely watch funny shows though as I know that is good for me, but they don't really make me feel that much better. I hate the way the lorazepam makes me feel the next day and I'm going to have to just figure out how to deal with the anxiety, which if you knew me, you would NEVER think I would get anxious. People come to me to calm them down during a crisis as I'm a calm and rational person. Sometimes though, I wonder if maybe I'm really not and was just acting like that because of the medication. That has been the hardest is sometimes I'm not sure if I even know how I really am. It's freaky. I start to think back, was that the real me or just the medication? For now, I just do what Manny said and try to be the best me and the me that I will make my family proud. It's kind of like reinventing yourself really. Before I leave, I also want to recommend a book called the Alcoholism and Addiction Cure by Chris Prentiss. He runs a recovery center you might have seen on TV and if I could afford to go, I would in a heartbeat. But reality is I don't have the time or the $ so the book has been the closes thing. I've read parts of it over the last several years, but I would stop short at the recovery part as I thought, I can't do what it says so why bother. It has some AWESOME ideas and really brings the whole addiction/medicating issue into perspective. If you have a chance to read it, I really recommend it. Well, I did force myself to at least go walking this evening, but I still feel crappy and pray that tomorrow will be better. I see my acupuncturist tomorrow, so that always helps me feel better :)
Hang is there Ruthy!

PS Sorry I always add my ticker, but sometimes it's the only thing that give me hope :)

Phoenix, I prayed for you last night driving home. I just sensed you were struggling. I asked God to just be with you and comfort you. In a strange way I was releaved to read your post. I was thinking my poor heart can't take this anymore but if this chest feeling is normal than I accept that. Our bodies really are amazing to undergo this torture. Yesterday at work I felt like I was in slow motion. I know my co-workers are starting to notice something but they haven't said anything. If I have a bit of cannibus at bedtime I wake up more calm and the chest thing will catch up as the day progresses. I have resolved that I will continue the cannibus on nights before work. The cannibus is cooked without T H C.It's totally different this way. I always disliked it but this way of consuming it it is not a high just relaxation with no impairment. So I'm obviously not seeking anything but a deterrent from suffering. I had none a few nights ago and it was a very bad day after. I had the day off and I thought I was litterley going crazy with that dark gut wrenching feeling of fear. I couldn't get out of myself, it was awful. I still suffer with cannibus but a little less so as to somewhat function from sleeping a little better. I can't do no sleep. I WILL melt.
25 days! Yes! Keep swimming. I do my treadmill ALOT! It helps so much I wonder how much worse it would be without it. Even going up and down our staircase 5 times in a row buys more relief. My husband laughs and says "boy you can't make up your mind if you want to go upstairs or not can you?" But he knows it's my anxoiusness fixer. I don't know what I would do without him and you and everyone else on this thread!

Hi all, This is 1979nickm. My other account was gone for some reason so I had to start new one.
Have any of you herd of tranquilene? It's all natural herbal pill that:
Relieves stress and anxiety fast
Supports serotonin production
Encourage emotional balance
Enhance positive mood and relaxation
I've been taking it for about 4 days and it's amazing .
I get the same way Ruthy,the heavy chest feeling *****, the tranquilene has helped with that also! Wow it really ***** when there's nothing you can do, and your day stays gloomy, I can get good news or bad news and I feel no different on dark days. I hate that about myself, it's like tramadol ***** your soul away and makes you feel nothing.
Ruthy I also use MJ for sleeping! And mood enhancer so I feel happy, with the tranquilene I haven't had to use MJ as much.
Ty so much for the support guys, wishing you all the best of luck.
Ruthy,Phoenix,allinblack,manny,blockhead, meganann, indigoloris . You all have a great and safe weekend, prayers sent to all of you great people

Thephoenix,

I don't know much about lorazapam, but assume it's a sleep aide. If lorazapam got you through the night instead of tramadol it's worth it. My first month I drank a sugar free rock star every morning for energy,and my AA friend said, "so what", if a rock star a day keeps you off tramadol, drink it. I still drink one now and then, rarely anymore as I know how terrible they are for you. Do whatever you have to do not to take a tramadol, I know the PAWS are horrid, and you wonder when they will lift. I also never had anxiety before, but went full strength after stopping tramadol. I don't have those answers, it is pretty much one day at a time. Be proud, you are almost at 30 days !!!! Keep doing what you are doing, swimming, walking, watching tv, eating food you want. You will have good days very soon.

Ruthy,
Yes, our bodies are pretty amazing to endure this torture. I hope you feel better on your taper, it's so darn hard..
I pray for you both, and others on this thread.

You people are beautiful, thank you for this journal. Day 5. Been on for 5 years. It has been my D.O.C, After lots, and lots of trials to quit to no avail because of the anxiety, I decided to start Cipralex (Lexapro) an SSRI, a week before my last dose to rid me of well, every horrible withdrawal symptom, and it did work for everything EXCEPT for the RLS and sleeplessness, I had an Alprazolam (Xanax) tape on me also as some sort of self-assurance to my anxiety that nothing can go wrong. Now, the Lexapro works beautifully when it comes to energy and well being, I eat well, I work out, but once it's sleeping time dear God.. That's when the madness begins, from reading your posts I am sure you guys know what I'm talking about, think Bale in The Machinist (2004). I am down to the last 0.5 gm of Alprazolam and don't know what to do, ThePhoenix, I feel exactly how you are like, can I ask you, does the Melatonin help? I am desperate for any non-addictive sleeping aid, if anyone had any success with anything that is not a Benzo for sleep I'd be forever grateful to them.. Stay strong.

Welcome Bacchus9
Nick just tipped us on an herb supplement called Tranquilene. I'm on that one like syrup on a pancake! Do you mean day 5 off of Tramadol or Benzo's. Either way, congrats. Quite an accomplishment. I now know true humblness.

Nick- welcome back! I love your cheerfullness, Its like your smiling as you write. I'm gonna be at the health food store first thing in the morning for some tranquilene. Thanks so much for the tip. I would rather not do the MJ thing either. How's your taper going?

Oh and I say, after the class action lawsuits on Tramadol, we have a Tramadol reunion! Bring your own Valarien root, B12 emergency drops and Melatonin. ........minus the Trams of course. Ha ha.

^ sounds good to me Ruthy !!

Can someone guide me to Emily's original posts before she started this recovery room. I have gone all the way back to part one of this thread and apparently she started somewhere else.
As Imanny says, let's all stay positive and be the best we can be. I thank God for eternal life after this short lived one here on earth!

I believe there is a room 45. From there Ruthy you can back track. I don't think the room numbers are sequential.

Thank you!

Ok so I need advice. I've been pretty aggressive in spreading out my dosing. I had been taking 1 -50mg pill in morning, and 4-.25mgs spread out through the day for a total of 150mgs all day. I used to take most of the med in morning and then noon, of course it was more a few months back. I am now taking .25mgs throughout the day and today I just took the plunge and took .25mgs when I woke up instead of a whole pill since it was not a work day. Whoa! I feel very panicky today and am shaking again. Am I better off going back to 1 pill in the morning? Is it easier to take it just a few times a day or is this way better in the long run if I can stick it out? I know we're not to be too specific on advise for the actual drug but need insight badly. For some reason I get worse as the day goes on. My nerves are shot by the end of the day. I am taking L-Tyrosine and switching back and forth with 5- Htp and amino acid blend and tons of vitamins and suppliments. I just saw that L_Tyrosine is also in the Amino acid blend. Could I be getting close to serotonin syndrome from all the neurotransmitter stimulants mixed with 150mgs of Tramahell? I still have no appetite. Any advice is so appreciated.
Megan I know you will come on here and chime in and I know you didn't taper but if you have wisdom from others tapering that would be great. I'm so exhausted from body stress I feel like time is litterly standing still. I made a big error at work Fri. And just don't want to go back to work tomorrow. Megan, you must get tired of having to check in. I know you have your own struggles with things and at this point I don't know how you can stomach coming back to help as I know it is a gruesome reminder of your old days.. you are a lovely selfless human being!

Ruthy,

I remember so vividly my tram days, and going to detox and somedays thinking I was going to die because I lied to the doctors in detox as I was on 300 to 400 mgs on tram when I checked in, and went to zero with subconox and other drugs.. They thought I was only on 100 mgs. I did terribly in detox, and worse when I got home. I had all symptoms you describe as you are tapering, and I think I would have been better off if I tapered like you are doing. I wish I knew about this forum when I was still on tram as I would have done things differently. I was blinded by doctors advice that 5 days in detox and then I would be fine....yeah right!!

That is probably why I check in so often, as I hope to encourage others to keep going even though I didn't taper. I pray whether you are tapering or just came off tram that you keep fighting the fight. It's so worth it. Your worst day tapering is still better than being on a higher dosage.

I've also been home for the last few days or so, as allergy season has kicked in andI'm getting over a nasty sinus infection. If been playing games on-line and playing a game similar to What Not To Wear on the computer. I'm feeling better, and have loads of work come Monday.

I just want you to know I think about you often Ruthy.

Thank you Megan.
I really think Emily's recovery room is fading away, a lot due to the scrolling and scrolling just to get to this point. I can't believe all the action there was on here 5-7 years back Right about the time I was getting diagnosed with my disease and put on Tramadol.......if I had only seen this board then. . It does help to read but sometimes it makes me feel worse. I think Ill stay away for a bit. Blessings

I agree that the scrolling is tedious and I remember Shaun wanting to see about getting Emily to create a new page for us, but as long as there are people dealing with it and you guys who have been off are still helping those of us trying to get off, I don't mind the scrolling. So far I'm for the most part ok, but nights are horrible and the RLS is ridiculous. I don't mind if my head is awake, I can read or wash or watch a movie. But when you randomly kick, or feel the tingling spiders on your arms and legs that's when I want to lose it. I had stopped taking the Adivan (benzodiazepam) for several days and ended up hurting my neck from the constant thrashing around when I was sleeping. Have any of you experienced that? I also feel like I am swollen in my legs and the whole abdominal fat? is nuts. Anyhow, I had to finally take the Adivan as I had to go back to work. I just don't want to get physically addicted to another drug :( I see a psychiatrist on Friday that I haven't seen in a while, but who already knows everything because my family has let him know why I'm going to him now, so I'm praying he helps me get through these dam PAWS. I'm doing the melatonin, GABA, 5-HTP, magnesium, and regular vitamin along with iron and B12 shots occasionally. Don't forget acupuncture. I tried capsule detox, but my stomach is not normal and it did not go so well. I just think, I'm trying everything and I can still feel the RLS starting even as I type this. I've tried the homeopathic RLS sublingual OTC and it didn't help at all. Am I missing something? I'm just glad I'm not alone! I pray for all of us!
God Bless!

Phoenix,

You are never alone. I experienced all of your symptoms you had as well. Luckily those won't last forever. The sudden jolting or thrashing around I had as well, and was scary. I didn't find this board until a few months after quitting, so for awhile I thought this would last forever. But it did not. I turned a corner after about 90 days or so. Baby yourself and try not to over read things online or this board or online. I would scare myself in the beginning by reading the horror stories. But it always wasn't as bad for myself as what I read.

The scrolling is a bit annoying at times, but don't mind it since I know it is for a positive goal. Stay strong, I will continue to pray for you and everyone else on here! Much love. -Manny-

I'm having what seems to be withdrawals as if I am not tapering. I'm at 150mgs and holding. The nights suck and yes I am jerking to the point of my body jumping like someone took jumper cables to me and I bolt out of bed. I believe my slow taper is releasing the withdrawals in bits and pieces.
Phoenix you have had it rough and I'm so proud of you. I was taking Klonapin (was told my dose of 1.5mg was nothing to worry about)for sleep and anxiety before Tramadol and now it is useless so be grateful you have Ativan that works. If you do take it longer than you intended to then your Dr will switch you to a longer acting Benzo and taper you off of that very smoothly and it won't take long. I will be working on the Klonapin next and will have to move down to Diazapam, the slowest acting Benzo. Phoenix does your anxiety kick in when night comes? I have it so so bad on my days off and at night, but at work I can keep busy enough but I'm running ragged here and thinking of quitting and just taking care of my health. I finally stopped reading the horror stories on here. Actually the early ones rooms 16 and 17 @and 18 seem like a breeze for those folks. I don't understand t and why we are struggling so much for so long. His grace is sufficient!

Ss

Hi y'all tram warriors. You all have my deepest respect for what you are going thru and what you are doing. Getting off this stuff is hell. I've tried unsuccessfully many times in the past, lasting anywhere from 3 to 6 days before caving in (usually because I had to go to work and needed to sleep). The RLS, and for me, 'neuropathy-like symptoms'--aching, burning legs that felt like there was a hot iron in the middle of my legs, general malaise, jerks and twitches--you know what I'm talking about. And of course--insomnia. I tapered down to 1.5 pills a day also, and couldn't seem to get below that without severe withdrawals. I noticed for a long time now that these pills also made me itch. So I told my Dr I was allergic--that they made me itch like a dog with fleas. So he said OK, no more refills ! I also told him about the neuropathy symptoms and he prescribed Gabapentin. Well, I finally ran out of trams last Sunday, still at 1.5 per day with my last 1/2 tab Sun nite. The Gabapentin has really helped with the worst of the symptoms--the RLS, and the aching, burning legs. I've actually been able to sleep! I know one thing--as long as I have access to trams, I WILL take them. The only way for me was to make them unavailable. I don't know if gabapentin will help anyone else, but it sure helped me. Good luck to all of you in getting off this nasty drug. W/D from this stuff is worse than many street drugs, probably as bad as heroin.

I know this is only day 5 off the tram, but I'm more optimistic about staying off this time, as I have the gabapentin, and I have no access to any more pills. It is taking a hefty amount of gabapentin to keep the symptoms away--the Rx says 400mg 3x/day, and I've needed to take 4 a day--1 around noon, 1 around 5pm and 2 at bedtime. I hope the need for this much will decrease as the time from the last tram gets longer and the AWS are over. Isn't it about a week for the worst of it?

Hello and welcome JBR!

Congrats on your huge decision to jump off tramadol! Everyone is a bit different when coming off this stuff and the length of time and withdrawal symptoms they will experience. For me, the physical aspect like aches and pains lasted about two weeks. And I am still going through PAWS. Things get easier over time. But luckily there are some things to do to make the process more tolerable. Eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, taking hot baths or showers, staying active. Try to stay calm and not stress as this will make things more difficult.

Rest as much as you can, as it does get better eventually. You CAN do it! =-)

Hi JBR
Way to go! Jumping off is such an accomplishment to me, though I'm still tapering, I look forward to being in your shoes by having a day 5 Tram free. Glad the nerve med is helping you through the worst part. I am still trying and mixing different supplements and herbs. So far I find Passion Flower tincture drops are helpful for nerves and Essential Amino Acids with plenty of Electrolytes and fluids are making me feel better as I have no desire to eat or drink. 5-http alternating with L--theinine at bedtime seems to calm my racing heart.a little. I only started taking those recently. Boy is Manny ever spot on about staying busy and most of all calm. Keep posting your progress! I'm rooting you on!

Hi, I'm on day 2 of no trams. Helps reading this, thank you

Outstanding Kris!

Im in your corner and we all have your back! It is possible!

Yes, keeping busy. Is good as it distracts you from the symptoms. That's why nights are the worst. Exercising - especially the legsand a hot bath right before bed helps a lot with the RLS. I'm very thankful for this forum, without it I probably never would get off this evil drug

Welcome jbr999 and firebellykris,

So glad you found this thread and happy to hear you are off tram, congrats !!! I'm close to my 1st year anniversary of being off tram. Each day will get a little better, and many have said staying busy, eating healthy and exercise really helps when you can.
Manny - all of my PAWS are gone. My anxiety has gotten much better, however with age I think a little anxiety is normal. I have this sense of freedom I've never experienced before. One day I hope to into some sort of counseling in narcotic anonymous. However I think you have to be 5 years clean first.

Thank goodness for this forum, it has helped me more than anything.

Meganann!

Thats wonderful news! Im seriously elated for you that your PAWS are gone after such a battle! Is your anxiety from PAWS gone now? I am so glad that you have your freedom back and get a second chance at life again! You are so close to a year now, I bet that feels amazing! Giving back is awesome and I believe most of my peace of mind came from this forum and great people like yourself. Thank you a million times over for helping so many of us here! =-)

@MeganAnn

Congrats on the PAWS ending for you! Isn't it nice to be free!

I was out the other day all day during a very crowded music festival in town and was just so happy to be doing all of this. I rode on more than one crowded bus. Walked in pouring rain. Stood in jam packed bars. Had loud music and crowds all around. Went to bed really late. It felt so good to be alive. I had no anxiety. I was having actual fun like I used to before tram. 2 years ago I would have never even thought this would be possible again.

I am like you too... I want to counsel or help people going through this... to let them know they can do it and that there is a life on the other side.

Yes, this forum was the absolute one best thing that helped me through this ordeal. I am forever thankful

Encouraging to hear from all of you Tram vet warriors! Heating pads really help that anxious chest thing. I slept with o ::) e last night and didn't freak out at bedtime. I kept heating the pad until I got more and more comfy. I helped!

Yes Manny all of my tram anxiety is gone. That horrible feeling is gone.

Allinblack - I've also experienced many late evenings socializing with friends. Being in Vegas awhile back was my first real fun trip and I felt really good and we stayed up way past my normal bedtime.

Also in the last couple of months I've stayed really busy, small projects around the house has helped get back to my old self or I should say the new me.

Megan- If I did my math right you will have your one year anniversary on April fools day! I'm so excited for you. Happy to hear the lovely PAWS is gone. Was that horrible feeling coming from your chest? Tell me I can take it

Ruthy,
I think my ticker is off a day, as I went to the detox center on April 2nd.

Yes, the horrible feeling came from my chest and entire body. I couldn't function at the grocery store as it seemed like everyone was going to bump into me, and I felt very slow moving. I had a healthy dose of hallucinations for awhile.

Looking back it seems like a blink of an eye, and my 1 year anniversary is almost here. Like many have said I stayed away from crowds for awhile, but getting out there with people helps your brain recover. Your brain and body will heal, unfortunately it takes time.

Well today is day 9 and it's not too bad right now. Last night the RLS came back but a hot bath and some squats helped enough so I got some decent sleep.

Hi everyone sorry not been on had loads going on,welcome to the new people,nice to see eveyone quitting this junk, best thing you will ever do x

Hello I just wanted to post on here just to vent how I'm feeling n maybe get some input. Mine is more about concern for potential abuse. Here's a little about me...I was diagnosed w a herniated disc L3-L4...I was put on Ultram 50mg n doctor increased dose till I had enough relief to function n be able to work. This ended up being 2 50mg tablets three times a day n sometimes 4 (the lady dose sometimes keeps me awake or waking up all night so I skip it unless I hurt bad). The Ultram mainly knocks the edge off of pain. I've had 4 steroid epidural blocks n it does the same knock edge off n helps w leg heaviness n numbness..not enough to stop pain meds. I do get the energy n "sense of well being" which makes me think I am potential for abuse. I have taken lortab, Percocet n even Demerol in the past n those seemed much stronger n different. I asked for Ultram cause I thought it's potential for abuse was lower n I don't feel messed up like I did w lortab or Percocet. Maybe everyone is different...but seeking this is the beginning of my journey w a chronic pain isdue I'm worried. Did y'all take it right before n then started abusing? N I don't feel High on them just slight energy. Any input would be appreciated..thanks.

Add on:the only other symptom I experience on it has been decreased appetite n find myself getting full quickly...have lost 25lb in 6 months...I just notice my appetite is totally gone.

Bamagal-
You are describing exactly what we all experienced in the early days of taking it. Tramadol has a very strong antidepressant in the mix and that sets the hook for addiction early on. Even if taken responsibly it very well may be hooking you. We here suffer so much from the side affects of discontinuation. Not fun. I can't tell you not to take it but that daily dose you are on will hook the average person due to the antidepressant feel good. There is no other pain med that I know of like it. Funny thing, when I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease I purposely chose Tramadol like you. I do personally believe it will be taken off the market eventually. Hope I helped you.

You have Ruthy55...thanks so much!

Welcome Bamagal

I agree with Ruthy. I was prescribed tramadol for pain, and doctor told me it's not a narcotic, and not addictive. I had no idea it had an antidepressant component in the mix. I got hooked and not because it did a great job taking away the pain, but it hit the sweet part of my brain, must be the antidepressant part.
I lost weight on the medication too. I hope it's off the market soon.

Tramadol is a two-faced, lying drug. Most doctors don't know about it's addictive properties. It's not addictive in the same way as most narcotics. It doesn't get you high or make you dizzy or drowsy. It actually gives you energy. And, as a bonus, it kills your appetite, so it's easy to lose weight. Most drugs hook you by giving you a euphoric feeling when you take them. Tramadol hooks you by the bad feelings it gives you when you try to stop or cut down. You end up taking it just to keep away the nasty withdrawal symptoms. Quitting cold turkey or even a sudden reduction in dosage causes increased pain (not necessarily the pain you took them for), anxiety bordering on panic, flu-like symptoms===headaches, malaise, aching all over etc. restless legs (RLS), jerks and twitches of various muscles. It is virtually impossible not to take them when you know all these horrible symptoms will be eliminated by just taking a couple of these little white pills. Going cold turkey from a high dose (>300mg/day) some say is worse than heroin withdrawals. That's what makes me NEVER want to touch this drug again! I've taken vicodin and Percocet, and they were MUCH easier to get off than tramadol.

One of the frustrating and demoralizing thing about this drug is the LAG before the worst w/d symptoms set in. Many times I've dropped my dosage and thought I was doing well but 2 or 3 days later the w/d s hit with full force. And they are RANDOM. They hit you like a ton of bricks any time of the day or night, just when you thought you were over the worst of it. One of the earlier posters here called it 'the shelling'. Even now, 11 days out, if I had access to trams I would probably take them. It really is the battle of a lifetime--the hardest thing I've ever done.

jbr999
How long did you taper to get to the 1.5 pills? I'm hoping a very slow taper will absorb the bad wds some.

It took about 3 months to get from 6 down to 1.5 (with many ups '& downs during that time). I never averaged more than 6 a day, though there were a few days when I took 8. I was on this stuff for about 7 years.

I don't recommend the 'ups and downs.' I might have done it in less time if I was able to steadily decrease. This drug gives you W/Ds even from NOT INCREASING your dose. I had low to moderate withdrawals between doses even when not tapering, and it was a constant battle just to keep from escalating. So even with a very slow taper you will experience very unpleasant symptoms--try not to go back up when these occur. They WILL pass. Space your dosages as evenly as possible, 6-8 hours apart.

I keep reading about PAWS. Meganann, what was your experience and how long did they last ? What is typical?

Everyone is different jbr999. Typically the first month off tram is the hardest. Lack of energy, anxiety attacks, depression, restless legs, skin crawling, letheragy, insomnia. You may not experience all these PAWS. It does get better I promise. Getting outside for a run or walk really helps. I'm almost 1 year clean and feel really good. Eat as healthy as you can.

Hi JBR999
I saw some of your postings a few years back and It looks like you will be successful this time, I can feel it! I have been tapering a few months now, down to 125mgs and yes Wds in and out. I've never gone up as I learned from everyone including you. I have had some very rough days tapering and can see why some just go for it and jump off since they are suffering anyway. Do you think stabilising is good? I work and have always had anxiety so I have to go slow or I might loose it! The beginning of tapering was real bad as you pointed out even between doses there are Wds. There was someone on here who tapered super slow and stayed at .25mgs for a month then 12.5 for the last month. When he stopped he said the worst was during the tapering and mental PAWS was not bad at all. That's my target, it's just a rough ride. I now space .25mgs every 2 hours from 8am up to 5pm. That was the worst for me because I used to take the majority in the morning for pain but I never ever took it at night because it has the opposite affect and always kept me awake. Megan will be here soon enough to tell you about her PAWS. She is finally over that which is awesome for her. She had it rough going cold turkey.

This is the longest I've been without tram in over 7 years ! 12 days! The only reason is because I cut off my
supply. I still take Tylenol and Motrin for back pain (the original reason I started on the trams). I miss the energy they gave me but I don't want to be a slave to the little white pill. Some have said taking an antidepressant helps. Do people get addicted to those also? I know benzos are addictive, especially Xanax. Quitting those can cause severe panic attacks. The gabapentin I'm on is helping with the RLS. Just low energy, don't feel like doing anything but lay around on the couch or recliner.

Hello JBR,

Antidepressants dont cause addiction or feel the constant need to keep taking them. I am on a super small dose of Zoloft just to cope since PAWS were so intense for me. I still feel quite anxious even at 7 months off, but at least it helps me survive until things lessen up. I wouldn't recommend taking benzos because of the severe withdrawals those can cause and the addictive nature, but if taken for short term I can see them working for you.

The low energy is normal. Listen to your body, if you feel like doing nothing, do it. Show your body some grace and let it heal. It may take several months for your energy to return, but at least you are no longer on Tramadol. Congrats on 12 days by the way!

Meganann-

I just noticed you are 5 days shy of a year!!! That must feel amazing!!!

Yes, Manny April 2nd is my one year anniversary off this evil drug. You are getting closer also. It does feel amazing !!

JBR- Good for you! Fight this devil with all you have! You have to do this, you have to stay ahead of me so I can learn from you. How is your anxiety? I'm through the roof but I've been spreading out small doses. My body is in constant anxiety during the day. But it should be worth it after I've leveled out. I'm staying at 125mg till I quit this horrid feeling all over. Blessings

Last night was rough.  Very little sleep, restlessness, anxiety, pain in legs that 5 gabapentin (400mg each) didn't help.
Got to sleep around 3am. I thought these acute withdrawals would be over by now-it's been 2 weeks.  I guess 7 years of trams don't leave your system too fast. My 'receptors' are still screaming for it.
Ruthy, yes, you have to go slow.  Don't drop your dose until you are fairly comfortable with your current dose. Going too fast runs the risk of backsliding since the w/ds may get too extreme to tolerate. Some say 10% drop a week, but as you get to lower doses this doesn't hold up, since you can't really take 9/10 of a pill !  cutting them into 1/4 size and then spacing them out more as you are able worked for me, but still had to jump off at 50 mg per day. I still have to take a hot (and I mean really hot--enough to turn my skin red) Epsom salts bath to relax my legs before going to bed.

Wow I've missed quite a bit! Sorry for not checking in but I've been busy and getting on the computer at night keeps me up so I have tried to stay away right before bed. jbr999 congrats on how far you have come. I just got prescribed the gabapentin last week and felt bad taking 200mg or 300 mg, but the doc said the dose was low so I guess he's right as my goal is to get off even that. The RLS is the worst part and I feel like I've been retaining water and my cortisol levels are probably up as I gained weight on my belly and upper legs. I think it was causing the pain in my legs as it was messing with my circulation. It's getting better now, but only in the last few days. I've been taking low dose aspirin and it seemed to help with the leg tingling and stinging. Exercise is a must for me, even if it hurts as it helps me sleep. Hang in there and keep on fighting!

JBR- man I feel so bad for you. 2 weeks should be turning a corner soon for you. I know you are standing strong. Are you working too during this. I know you are in medical care. Does that help keep your mind off symptoms?

Ok, so if I taper slow, and I am suffering at 125mgs but won't go back, and get as low as I can, is it really worth it since you are suffering so much and you tapered somewhat slow and 50mgs is pretty low to jump so In what way will it benefit me? I am planning to jump in August if I can hang on. Do you think this will lessen things? My doses were usually 250-300 on work days. Been on 5 years for joint pain. Have been tapering since Dec 2014. I covet your advice! Thank you. I have been praying for fyi you and Phoenix.
Phoenix- Good to hear from you. How is getting back to teaching going for you? Do people notice you being different at work? Boy time goes fast, I just can't believe this monster drug is still haunting you. I forgot, did you do a fast taper?

Happy Anniversary Megan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is my one year anniversary being off tramadal. It's taken nearly a year for my brain to recover from this evil drug.

Saying this, it feels like a blink of an eye to when I stopped using. I remember drinking wine, as that hit the sweet part of my brain and felt good. I also took a low dose of Xanax on and off to help with sleep, and now I'm off that pill too. I can enjoy wine now as the alcohol doesn't hit that sweet part of the brain, it mellows me out a bit. I finally feel normal again.

Whether you are tapering or have jumped from tram, keep up the fight.

Much love,
Megan

Wow ! That's wonderful MeganAnn. You inspire me not to ever restart this drug. You say you finally feel normal after a year. I've forgotten what normal feels like, been on trams for > 7 years. I'm still having some acute symptoms, but they're not as bad as the first week. I'm trusting you that it gets better. Pretty depressed right now. The only thing I look forward to is the great unknown.

Meganann!

I am beyond happy for you! I hope to finally have that peace and relief that you have. This is the first year off of many more to come for you. I will certainly keep up the good fight! Congrats on this accomplishment! =-)

@MeganAnn123

Congrats on your one year! What a great accomplishment! I remember your early days and your struggle

It's nice to feel normal again. I never, ever thought I would after being on that damned drug for 10 years. But I do! I'm my weird old normal self... and I now embrace these old emotions that I have that used to aggravate me so much. It's nice to have emotions again!

Everyone else hang in there! I never thought I would be able to quit this drug. I remember seeing "normal" people in my daily life and wondering what it would be like to wake up and just go. No waiting for pills to kick in. I can go out into public with normal people energy. I don't have to be scared I will lose my pills or they will be hard to get. I don't have to count and taper. I'm not permanently damaged. I was so afraid of that during my first year of withdrawal. Drs said it was a return to "my condition". No, IT WASN"T. It was withdrawal and its gone now!

My thoughts are with you all!

Wow ! I was reading earlier parts of this journal--July2009, to be exact, when Emily was only 11 days off tramadol. Here is what she said, which is a great help and inspiration to me:

"Just accept that it's going to be painful. Don't resist. There's this thing we do in Bikrams yoga. It's a form of breathing. Try it. You breathe IN to the count of say 5. Then you breathe out to the count of ten. Repeat. You will feel your heart rate drop. You will feel your central nervous system being forced to calm itself. All I can say is if God has a plan; this whole thing was part of his plan. "

"There's nothing wrong with pain. The resistance to it only makes it increase. Feel the pain. Let it tell you its secrets. Let it instruct you. Pain hides nothing. Pain is not a liar. The resistance of pain IS a Liar. So you breathe and accept that withdrawal takes as long as it takes."---jbr999

Jbr999,

I'm glad you found this post from Emily's early days and shared it. Great wisdom from her words.

Earlier posts are so valuable. I had to breathe deep the Entire time in a social function a while back and I gotta say, it works!
I am finally after 3 months of tapering, feeling more like myself and as of late I am either handling all the mental symptoms better or all my suppliments, and I have a lot!, are working well. I am also taking 5- http and l-theinine for depression and it works. My Tram dose 112.5 mg is low enough now to not worry about Serotonin Syndrome. Water water and more water is making a difference. I am not in acute anxiety this week at all and I praise God for that! JBR- you made it to the other side! You have done what most could not do. My hat off to you!

Anyone out there?. I'm down to 100 mgs. Getting tough but pressing on.

Im still here Ruthy,

Keep at it if it feels right for you! Im behind you all the way. I have been praying for you as well to have relief and get through this btw!

Thanks you so much Manny. I feel your prayers! Thank you thank you! The awful chest thing has somewhat subsided. I'm not as restless as before since I leveled out my dosage. I see you are 246 days. That is so amazing. I'm back to reading my bible, I couldn't even focus for a while there and could only lay there and listen to bible on CD. I have learned to not look at tomorrow, just today with God. Blessings

Thats awesome news! I feel your pain so I know it is not easy. I still get anxious, but have more good days as time goes on. The Bible has helped me immensely! At first, I also could not focus since the anxiety was so intense, but it slowly let up. Lately, I have been listening to a Christian radio show online that really gives me inner strength and is super encouraging, its called Unshackled. Its a radio drama of real life struggles people have faced like drugs and alcohol and have overcame them. So check it out sometime!

I have, and will continue to pray for you daily to beat this beast. I have faith in you. Much love Ruthy! -Manny

Manny- I am greatly comforted knowing you continue to pray for me. I am soooooo humbled with this I feel God is making me a better and more compassionate person for it. Ill pray the never ending anxiety for you too. I have a love-hate thing going on in reading the past stories. Sometimes they weaken me or strengthen me. Weird. Psalm 30!!!!!

Have any of you read the book All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner? Its a story of a woman's slide into addiction and struggle to find her way back up again. Her story is much like all of ours, injury starting the opiate addiction, and telling herself the doctor prescribed the opiate ( Vicodin, OxyContin, Percocet ), briefly mentions tramadol, over the course of a couple years, then spending thousands of dollars and popping tons of pills trying to hold on to the high. Her life comes crashing down as the pills turn on her and she is left feeling empty and only a shell of a person she once was.

The book is fiction, which kind of surprised me as I understood everything she described when I was on tramadol. It was like she was speaking to me. Whether you are tapering or off tramadol it's a great book, and also available on CD.

Thanks Megan. Sounds like an interesting book to read. Do you consider yourself an addict? I don't. But I consider us being a victim for sure.. I don't get how the previous posters would have cravings for the same pill that is torturing them. Or relapsing after all that torture. I still have to deal with pain issues but to be safe, I'm not going down the narcotic road ever again. I hate even having to take the bleeping stuff for tapering. I wish I would have picked a real narcotic to be on long term. Then discontinuing would have been done by now. Lol. However, I love my Ambien. If I sleep well I have less pain.

I do consider myself an addict Ruthy. My brain has been altered from abusing tramadol, and my doctor told me I may never be able to take a narcotic ( for injury ) again. I took a Clariton D months ago, and it gave me a little high, and made me feel good. I stopped taking them. I really don't feel like a victim, because inside of me I knew I was in trouble from taking too many pills. Yes, I wish I was on Vicodin or Percocet as the withdrawals would have been much easier. I was on tram for 5 years, and I shoild have stopped after 6 months regardless of doctror's advice because I knew something was not right. So I don't place all the blame on the doctors, I have to take some responsibility too.
I don't have cravings for the same pill but sometimes miss that good feeling I had while on a low dose of tramadol.

I will always have to be careful Ruthy. I've been to NA meetings and its not uncommon to abuse other prescription medications especially when you've been off a drug for over 6 months.

Good to read you are down to 100 mgs.

Hi friends.
So I got brave after leveling out and lowered by .25mgs instead of 12.50 this past Sunday and am now at .75mgs. Wow! Really feeling this big drop. I need prayers Warriors! I'm trembling again and feeling depressed. Cried for 2 hrs. Last night for no reason. My husband doesn't know what to say so he just hugs me a lot, he is so sweet, ok now I'm going to cry again, kidding, well kinda. I just don't want to shake at work so pray for that please! Love ya all. Blessings, Ruthy

Oops hit "send" with my shakes hand ha ha

HI Y'all Tramadol Warriors !

{{{Ruthy!}}} Down to 3/4 of a pill now. Terrific. As you are finding out, as you get closer to zero, even small drops in dosage are really felt. That's why you have to take is SLOW. Many of us, me included, felt jumping off from less than a pill a day was preferable to more weeks of withdrawals (though less severe). I had to do it when I had at least a week off from work, or I wouldn't have been able to function. My prayers are with you. I KNOW you can do it !

Well, it's been a month on April 15th. Still have low energy, and on an emotional roller-coaster. This is compounded by the fact that I'm quitting my job and moving in the next 2 months. The thought is overwhelming--I have to realize that I will have time to do it all--after all since I won't be working I'll have more time & energy to do the moving, right? Still it's frightening when I look around the house at what needs to be done. The neuropathy pain is being taken care of by the Neurontin, but other aches & pains are still there. I don't think they have to do with w/d from trams at this point, just arthritis probably, after all I'm 65 on May 14. At least I can now sleep. I definitely have an 'addictive personality' as I had to quit alcohol due to abuse as well. Anything that feels good--I want more of it! All the time! Learning to delay gratification is a hard lesson for me, as I'm a child of the '60s, when the motto was, "If it feels good-do it !"
I'm finding that's not always sound advice !! (kinda late, I know). Keep on Truckin'

I just realized I gave conflicting advice, Ruthy--go SLOW but maybe jump now. It's your choice. If you feel you need to drop lower before stopping that's OK. If you feel you just want to get it over with, but are prepared for serious withdrawals for about a week, you can stop now, or anytime you feel ready. You'll know when the time is right. Just don't do the 'forever weaning' that I did for way too long !

Hi jbr!
Ive been thinking about you and hoping you were doing well in your new tram free days. Sorry to hear the PAWS is visiting but maybe not, it's only a month for you. When my dosing got to 100mgs, and I started taking 5htp for the depression and it seemed to start working pretty fast. I really noticed a difference. My sadness was less and crying actually stopped. Of course it gets a little worse at lowering gdose time. Give it a try if you already haven't. The nerve med must help you sleep good? That's great. Why are you quitting and moving? What a testing time. At least you can just focus on just one thing. Moving.Don't stress! At this point you already know how to talk to yourself, as Emily taught us, so just talk through the stressful times. I talk to God. Thanks for your advice on tapering, I was hoping to hear from you, fellow taperer. I have a few weeks off of work but not for a few months. Believe me, if I could do this now I would. I grow weary but can't jump till my vacation. I'm stuck but I am gonna take it easier from here until my vacation. This last cut in dose hit the hardest. I'm actually at 1 1/2 pills right now not 3/4. Man I wish I was at a lower dose. I feel Its time but my timing didn't work with my vacation because I went too fast. It's like a weird power thing I have to have over this drug I am at war with, and it feels good! I'm trying to spread out 3 halves of a pill between 8am - 8pm. Any suggestions?

Everyone, research Holy Basil, a plant from India. It has amazing health benefits including lowering Cortisol levels, our good ol' stress hormone. It's other health benefits, which are tons, are being researched big time here in the U.S.. I think Western Medicine will be prescribing it for many purposes. The homeopathic MDs have already been prescribing it for a long time and are one step ahead of Western Medicine. No surprise there.

Hope everyone's ok,wanted to see my ticket,all the best everyone x

Blockhead,
You are so close to your one year anniversary. I remember when you posted for the first time as we are within a couple of months of being off tramadol. Good to hear from you.

Where do I get 5htp? Sounds like might help. Ruthy what's the difference between Holy Basil and ordinary basil? Have you tried it yet?

Holy Basil is also called Tulsi found in health food stores. I swear it is toning down my anxiety in the morning it is bad with the Cortisol rush and after taking Holy Basil twice a day between meals it is not as a rush of anxiety in the morning. Holy Basil (Tulsi) got its name from India as they use it regularly for centuries. It is not the same as the herb Basil used for cooking. I use the liquid tincture for now made by Herb Farm. 5-htp is also found in health food store.

Hello, everyone. I have spent hours reading the latest posts. I have been here before using a different username. It was between November 2009 and late 2010. Still on the tramadol. How about some back story? A condensed version.

I was introduced to tramadol when I was 15 years old in summer 2003. Right off the bat I started using 25mg once a week. This provided intense effects. I mean, I thought I had found my own little crutch. A high school kid rewarding himself with 25, sometimes 50mg of tramadol every Friday. Fast forward less than one year, and my usage was increasing and I noticed spells of depression while waiting for doctor to refill me. There were some physical WD symptoms,but at the time I wasn't really aware of drug dependency. I was 15 yrs old. Eventually this doctor dropped me after I tampered with a written prescription. Not one week later I found a new doctor and I played him good to receive tramadol. I'm still playing him. That was in 2007. It's now 2015. So far, a total of what? Almost 12 years of tramadol dependency.

I'm sure you're curious about my dosage currently. I take 7 to 8 tablets a day in separate dosages. Always starting upon waking with 100-150mg. Withdrawal has become more intense and debilitating. In my current usage, I always run out of tablets at least 12 days early. I always find a source of several 10mg hydrocodone for FREE to get me through being out of tramadol. Yes. Free of charge. The hydro of course mutes withdrawal symptoms. When it's time for refill I am more than happy to resume my tramadol intake. I prefer tramadol over all other similar drugs, and I've tried them all during times of withdrawal. Except for heroin.

I will spare other details for now. I will say I have a beautiful family. And a beautiful home. And decent job. If my wife discovered my tramadol usage she would self-implode. It would cause major problems. As you can imagine, this is extremely difficult to hide. I fears it's just a matter of time that I'm captured by her.

Thanks for reading. And I plan on hanging around here this time. Thrilled to see this journal still going strong.

Hello Slowdive,

Welcome, you are brave for even coming on here for sharing your story. I am someone who is a normal guy and I am telling you that it is very possible to quit tramadol usage. I was on an even higher dosage than you. While it may not be easy, it is doable. Fear is the main part of getting over the hump to stop. Everyone is different, while some quit cold turkey, and others taper off. I suggest telling your doctor and being honest, and telling him that you want to quit but need help getting off. He will help by prescribing something else temporarily to help ease the process of withdrawal. Honesty is key, and you won't be in trouble, the doctor is there to help.

Anyone of us on this board is here to assist and we have your back in all this. You are NOT alone my friend. I will be praying for you! =-)

Slowdive- Welcome back with loving arms!
Funny, I read from the past in the times you were previously on here, whoever you were I don't know but I've read lots of Finally Fred, Pharma, Forget Me Not, and Damtrams' postings. I'm glad you are making a start to think about this again. Sounds like you have a wonderful family. I sure wish you could talk your wife and Dr. I know men can hide emotions easier but I don't know how you would be able to do this alone. Think about telling them. You will have better success. I am a taperer as you read previously and my Dr is guiding me through. It has not been real easy but I've been able to continue working and am down to .75mgs a day and have a day in May That I take my leap, finally, into freedom. I've got clearance for a few weeks and am a little nervous but very excited.Someone told me I would know when it was time and that rang so true for me. I'm done tapering. I will jump at .75mgs, 1 1/2 tablets. I've had almost all the symptoms of WD, mostly mental, except for constant flushing and mild sweating the entire time, while tapering but on a lower level of intensity so I've been through a lot and am certain the symptoms won't at least be a surprise and maybe not so intense. Which ever way you go and when you are ready we will be here to support you. I will start praying for you. Stay connected!

Welcome Slowdive,

Like many have posted on this thread, tramadol is unique regarding it's hold on people. The synthetic opiate and antidepressant made me feel good for a period of time. I needed more and more trams to chase the high, and was up to 10 to 12 pills a day for 5 years.

I also would have your doctor help you tapper, as he will give you temporary meds to make the withdrawals easier. I was on Zanax to help me sleep and thought, oh no here I go again. However it was pretty easy to get off Zanax and it served a purpose, and helped me sleep. I'm not suggesting you should take Zanax, however your doctor will know which meds that will help

Thanks for sharing your story. I am so much happier these days. The first month off stinks, and now I barely remember those early days. Don't know if that is a good thing or not. Keep in touch.

Thanks imanny, ruthy, and meganann! Ruthy, I remember all of those registered users. Fred had a way with words. I loved his analogy of declaring war on tramadol. It was uplifting stuff. I remember PM damttram several times.

I can totally relate meganann. Unfortunately this stuff made me feel less depressed. Oddly, it causes a little depression sometimes I think. Not as bad as CT WD depression, though. Today I decided to use the rest of the tram I have on this fill. It's very little. Not enough by a long shot. My eyes, and nose are draining. I get a chill here and there. Thankfully that's it. Craving for more is there. Refill is Friday the earliest I believe. Tomorrow morning I will use hydrocodone for going to work. Bad thing about that is, I have to redose more frequently with the hydro. I typically use 50mg of hydro in divided doses within 12-14 hours and that's enough to keep away just about all of WD from tram.
You are all familiar with tram WD symptoms. And I don't know how to ask this, but did you notice and sexual symptoms during WD? This could probably be aimed at any men here. During WD it seems climax happens way too quickly. From a young age I noticed tram allowed more longevity during intimacy. I guess climaxing quickly during WD isn't too abnormal. I haven't seen anyone mention it before. We're talking a few seconds here. Is that something that would return to normal as well. When I decide to jump off.

Getting close to bedtime. WD symptoms today are very minimal due to me having at least a little tram in me. It could be better that's for sure. At least I feel like I'll be able to sleep decent. If I was CT sleep would be impossible. As you know. As I said im using something else tomorrow and Thursday until refill friday. I'm getting to where I'm getting sick of this cycle. I have not woken up feeling normal without downing tramadol, or a substitute while out of tramadol in 12 years.
That reminds me...since I have been dependent on tramadol since a very young age (15 years old). Do you think that will make it even more difficult for my brain to adjust to being tram free and opioid free in general when the time comes? I'm 27 now. When I think of it I can't believe I've been dependent on this drug since I was a child. My mother wishes she never let the doctor put me on this mess back then. She knows about my dependency and I think it breaks her heart to be honest. Goodnight friends. Have to wake up in little over 6 hours for work. Blah

Slowdive- Are you going to taper the Tram when you get your refill ? I think a slow, very slow taper would suit your situation well. I have been tapering for about 3 months and went too fast. Once I started it was hard to not want to hurry. I would have felt better and would still be going slow but I just couldn't wait to be done so now I'm coming up on complete discontinuation in a few weeks. My Dr will not be happy so Ill tell her after. She is worried about my body handling this as I have health issues but she is also not in my shoes. I think it is harder on my body by dragging this out. I can't afford to loose any more weight. I'm sick of forcing food down. I'm one of those stress starvers with no appetite, not a stress eater. Water water and more water. I actually get more anxiety when I'm not drinking enough. I don't go tinkle that much either so dehydration is a big problem I must stay on top of as well. I wish you much success when you are ready to begin the journey. Nightly night.
Megan and Manny, I can't wait to start my ticker soon! May 9th

Xx

Ruthy, I am sorry to hear about your health problems. Are some of these things caused by tram, or just being stressed with getting off. Although you're ready to be off.

I agree with you. Tapering is likely a must. I shudder thinking about how severe cold turkey would be by day 3 for my situation. Will I taper when I get refilled? It's possible. I have two more refills left then I see doctor again. Should I begin tapering on my own and update him when I see him in a couple months, or try to go in early and tell him the situation? He knows tram causes dependency. Does he know much about it specifically and the WD process. I'm not sure

My doctor knows about the discontinuation problems with Tramadol. I would be completely honest with your doctor. He or she will probably let you taper at your own pace like mine is. It is such peace of mind. I just said I want to stop and my doc knew I had to taper. If you want a smoother taper reduce 1/4 of a tablet anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks but as you go lower you will feel it. You could probably get away with bigger cuts in the beginning. I'm at [email protected] 1/4 of a pill and am really starting to feel it. You will need to spread out dosing if you will taper long term. You won't be able to avoid WDs while tapering but they're doable until your dose gets real low. You will need at least a week for the final jump at a later date. Just make a plan and include your wife please. You will need her support. She will understand. Have her read some old posts. I am ill from the Tramadol but I'm fragile with a very rare Auto-immune disease that affects many function systems including the entire GI tract, blood vessels, lungs, skin, joints (that's where Tramadol came in) and I asked for non narcotic and that's what I got until the truth came out about Tramadol. Hang tight, you can do this.

Ruthy,
I can't wait till you start your ticker too. You probably will do very well when you jump off tram as you have tapered for a long time, and have experienced PAWS. You will experience a sense of freedom which hopefully will carry you through whatever last part of withdrawal is left.

Slowdive,
You have to be mentally ready to taper, either your doctor or you can do it. Others can probably answer this better than myself, however i think it makes sense do lower you dose by .25 every 5 to 7 days, and spread out your dosage throughout the day.
I remember in one of your posts you mentioned when you run out of tram you take hydrocodone, and it carries you until you get more tram. I'm surprised that hydrocodone can replace the effects of tramadol. Could you stay on hydrocodone and eliminate tramadol all together ??

Hi Megan,
Yes, I can almost taste freedom! It's not coming fast enough though but it will give me a little more time to taper just a little. I so want to be at at least just one tablet when I stop if I can hang in there. Do you really think PAWS will be less? I was thinking and hoping that but I won't get my hopes up. Today I bought and stocked up on my vitamins and supplements and Epsom salts for the big jump.
Good thinking about Slowdive replacing Tram with Hydro. Men seem to have less emotional issues. Well poor Manny wasn't spared though with the anxiety. Sure is quiet lately. I hope that means less and less people are taking Tramadol. I'm beginning to hate that word! I am on a support site for my medical condition from time to time and Tram is the Topic of discussion sometimes. Well today someone was asking if anyone else has profuse sweating from Tramadol, another said when she forgets to take her dose she feels very nervous and jittery. Can you believe it? Their in WD at interdosing and they don't even know it! I try to warn as many people as I can. I don't think they believe me but they will have to find out the hard way I guess. This drug is UNBELIEVABLE.

Ruthy,

Thats wonderful news! I am glad to hear that you are taking the plunge and jumping off. I tapered for a few months and jumped at 150 mg, but the tapering was torture. So I figured I would use my time to start healing rather than prolonging things more. You are right and it does give you freedom and a sense of empowerment when you can say you are no longer taking that! I used to always worry about not having enough, or not being able to refill on time. Each day clean is all towards a better me. Everyone comments on how much better I look physically as of late. I used to look tired and have under eye bags, bloated, stressed, etc. I lost 40 lbs since quitting. The anxiety seems to be getting less intense too which is amazing.

Don't worry too much or read too much on older posts. It would scare me and I would make things worse by going too deep into the horror stories. It always wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. Take each day as it comes and put your trust in God's hands. He will see you through as you are trying your best to do the right thing! You will be in my prayers! =-)

Hi Everybody,

Like many here, I had a Tramadol dependency for years, and I've also been reading this journal for years.  I remember all of the names mentioned from the past, and this journal has been very helpful. Emily has helped so many people, including myself.  I felt compelled to post here to share a little about my story, since can relate to so many of you here, especially slowdive88.

I began Tramadol like most here, prescribed by my doctor for an injury.  We all know what happens so often with this drug, and it happened to me.  I've never had a drug problem - never even smoked weed, nor have I even touched alcohol!  This drug was very unique in how it took my body and mind over.  Some time later, I needed to take this drug to feel normal, and to prevent myself from getting sick.  The downward slide began and it was very tough to climb out, but I did.

I took a lot of this drug over the last five years, which was the length of my experience with Tramadol.  I tried several times to get off, and I tried tapering, but the withdrawals were horrendous. But I also knew I could not stay on this drug, so on Christmas Day, 2014, I decided to go cold turkey and never looked back.  I certainly do not recommend cold turkey from taking 20+ pills everyday, but I was ready to deal with the consequences and get it overwith. Putting that aside, I never had any seizures, however I knew there was a risk from going cold turkey, but I work from home and have no daily commute so I felt I could take that chance relatively safely. I made it a point not to drive at all until I was at least four weeks clean.

And so, I'm almost four months clean now, and I feel great!  Not 100% yet, but definitely approaching that goal.

My point is, you can get off this and you will return to normal, but it will take time - sometimes, a long time. You will have good days and bad days, but soon the good days will outnumber the bad ones.  Nobody could tell you how bad withdrawals or PAWS will be, or their duration, since everybody is different.  I feel I was very fortunate in that I am recovering quickly, but it still was not easy.

I am not married yet so I did not have a spouse to worry about, however I would highly recommend not hiding this.  I think trying to overcome this drug in secret will hurt your chances for success significantly.  Your battle will be much more difficult.

I never took any other 'helper drugs' as I thought that would just delay the inevitable. I wanted my brain to recover as quickly as possible and I paid the price for it, but to me, it was worth it.  Everyone is different though, of course.  I will NEVER go near this drug again.  There is no way I would go through that. No way. I think I learned some good lessons from this experience and I would like to think it made me a better and stronger person.  I guess time will tell.

Good luck to all, and I'll keep reading as always. :) :)

Exeter- What an encouraging story. Thank you so much for sharing and helping to contribute your success story! It will help others so much who litterly stumble here out of desperation upon this site and gain hope. I know what suffering you went through because I C/T in January and had to re-instate per my Dr. And start over. I didn't know about the drugs discontinuation affects so thought I was dying. So glad you are healing fast. Welcome back from shell on earth.

Manny- Thank you for encouraging me as always, I think I will stop reading past stories and start looking forward instead of behind. I am trusting God for whatever He'll have for me and am ready. I'm so glad the anxiety is finally subsiding for you. That's a long time and it scares me a little but I know better not to dwell. I know God has strengthened you through this. I just dread the unknown even down to almost one pill, ugh. Could you pray that my gut doesn't lock up and not allow food in. That is a worry. I'm trying to gain weight but the gut is stubborn. It is a monster and is the worst physical symptom. With the gut receptors and my gut problems makes misery. Ok enough whining for today. God bless

Thank you Ruthy :)

I read your posts and they are very inspiring. I know you're battling hard, but I'm positive it has made you a stronger and better person.  I'm not sure I could have tapered - that takes a strong commitment and I admire you for it.

I'm sure most of us had to do a lot of introspective thinking during this journey.  I know I have, and I've realized a lot of things about myself which I think will be for a better future.

I've learned a lot along the way - mostly that Tramadol never gave me something I was lacking in life.  Many of us continued to use this drug because it made us feel better, gave energy, reduced depression, etc.   Sure, it did those things,  but because it just activated the reward system in our brains to give those pleasurable feelings - those feelings that were previously produced when we did things we enjoyed in the past.

When I was on Tramadol, I slowly began to lose interest in passions of mine - mainly, playing the guitar. I didn't realize it because this transformation happened so slowly over the years.  I was doing less and less of the activities I enjoyed simply because my life became more Tramadol-centric.  Popping pills suddenly provided those same highs that pursuing my interests used to, and therefore my brain had no further motivation to challenge myself and pursue those external stimuli that I previously enjoyed so much.  I was fortunate in that my business did not suffer, however I did begin to neglect long time friends and that is what I am working on rebuilding now.

After a month or so of being clean, it really began to dawn on me just how much of my previous interests and projects I just left stagnant.  On the other hand, I've now found a renewed interest in all of those interests, and those feelings of motivation and excitement are returning.  We all have those feelings within us, but Tramadol is what made us stop pursuing them since they now came in the form of a pill and it began to remove our motivation to work toward achieving those natural highs in life.  I've begun to feel the powerful feelings of motivation, excitement, and awareness that I have gradually muted over the previous years. It really is a revelation for me.

I'm not going to say that every day is awesome and I feel wonderful all the time.  Not yet, but I'm having more and more good days than bad now, and I know that everybody will heal once they leave this drug behind. It may take months or even longer, but it will happen.  We all need to re-learn what made us who we are and all of those activities that made our lives fulfilling.

slowdive, regarding your sexual performance issue - yes, that is completely normal. Everything will return to normal in time as long as you stay clean.  When we are on Tramadol, it is of course a painkiller, and our bodies had to compensate for our continuous blunting of our nervous system and senses.  So when we go off Tramadol, we will be 'revved up' for a while and overly sensitive to a lot of things until our bodies downregulate our nervous system to normal pre-drug levels.  That's what causes the anxiety, restless legs, and the sexual side effects.  It all returns to normal in time.

Hang in there everybody!

Hi Ruthy,
You sound like you are almost ready to jump ship. I think the first 3 to 4 days will be difficult physically, however mentally you will have a sense of empowerment like Manny said and be SO happy not to think about tapering anymore.

Exeter,
It's quite amazing you didn't take any narcotics short term to help with the withdrawals. Maybe you are correct that your brain is healing faster without any other meds. I needed help early on, and caved to meds. Good for you that you can abstain from using anything.

Manny,
My looks also changed when I got off tramadol ( not for the better ), then at around 9 or 10 months off I started to look healthy again, better color in my skin, and eyes that drooped at first got better.

Blockhead.....you only have two months to go for your one year anniversary. I just happen to look at your ticker. You must be feeling a lot better. Congrats.

Exeter, I can relate with you on so many levels. This chemical may cause euphoria and energy, but after a certain point it somehow causes laziness. I've noticed that. I also feel that tram robbed me of my strength. I used to be able to take discomfort and unpleasant things rather well and in silence. If that makes sense. 12 years on tram and I'm not like that anymore. I always try to find an easy way out. I also like your theory on how tram can make us idle. Already high, so why bother with a project right.

Meganann, hydro definitely carries me. Then effects are short so there is frequent redosing. It gets rid of about 98% of the WD. Between doses is uncomfortable especially emotionally, though. I can't replace tram with hydro because I couldn't gain access to enough for that. I noticed that first few days using hydro it is great, but not 100%. After those few days hydro begins working much better to control WD. Morning WD tends to feel a little more intense however.

Guys I really hope the doctor would let me taper at my own pace.

Slowdive, you will return to normal.  Don't worry because it does happen, though right now I know you may not feel that way.  I've been where you are, and I completely understand your feelings.  You are right, the Tramadol makes us very lazy over time.  It just takes over our lives - counting pills, relying on it, needing it to get out of bed, etc. It is awful. The strangest thing for me now is not having the need to take pills in the morning - I just wake up and go. It's been years since I've felt that way and it's almost as if I'm experiencing normalness as a new high. You will, too.  Just be careful with that Hydrocodone - you'll end up trading one addiction and dependence for another.  Anything that is removing withdrawals from Tramadol is also feeding your brain the very same effects that got you here in the first place.  Your doctor would know best, but I feel breaking away from it all as soon as possible is ultimately what is best. Everybody is different though, of course. :)

Anxiety will likely be your toughest battle when getting off this drug, but it will return to normal.  Everything will in time.
Best thing I can say is, eat very healthy, light meals and exercise.  Force yourself to exercise - this will help the most by far!  If you have any questions I would always be happy to help, for you and everybody of course.  I've learned so much about myself and drug dependence in general from this experience.

Wow, I almost didn't make it through work yesterday. I hit the wall energy wise and felt out of my body. I'm so tired suddenly(been eating a lot of refried beans as they have carbs and protein)but slept great last night. I'm getting aches bad pains in sides and lower back. Is this normal?. I feel bloated suddenly but m sure it's the beans ha ha. Also is it normal to feel prickly skin and burning skin at night? I kept thinking my body was shutting down yesterday. But I dropped another 1/4 of a tablet. For the first time I think I have to stop tapering until I stop now. Too intense. Please tell me if you've had the symptoms above for my peace of mind. Ill probably feel better this weekend if I rest up a lot. Now under the 2 week mark before stopping. Two weeks from today! Hope all is well. Ruthy

Hello Ruthy,

Yes, all of what you described is very normal. I especially had the prickly skin and burning sensations on my skin. Its scary and you wonder if something else could be wrong, but it is all a part of the process. I didn't feel bloated, but I did feel extremely tired ALL the time. Eat as healthy as you can, and drink plenty of water while staying away from caffeine, no matter how tired you feel. You are so close! Just relax, and rest up as much as possible. Show yourself some love and don't over think things and just go with the flow. I used to think about all of this 24/7 and that in itself was exhausting. I will continue to pray for you Ruthy! I never forget. Much love to you and everyone on here! God bless =-)

Manny thank you. I'm suddenly so tired. I'm done but need to keep going. I'm going to listen to my body like you said. I wish I could sit still and rest without heart racing and anxiety buzzing in my chest last couple of days came back strong. Also headache almost all the time. I was just notified that I left without my keys to the vault at work last night. Big big mistake. Never did that in 20 years. Don't know how much trouble I'm in. I'm feeling a little behind, confused from being so tired. Did you have a headache a lot at the end of your tapering? I wonder if I'm low on sodium. I have all the symptoms. Oh no here comes the freaking out stuff. I know this is part of it. I just worry that I've damaged my organs from long long taper and something is not functioning properly. Ok, time to exercise a little and read God's word for comfort. God Bless you!

@ruthy55.

All your symptoms seem to be things I experienced.  I thought I was dying every day with some weird disease the tramadol covered up.  All my health visits at the Dr were completely normal.  I think I had the hardest time with the weird chest pains and skin/nerve sensations... and the brain zaps.  However, if it would give you peace of mind, do a yearly physical and bloodwork

@Exeter... I can easily identify with everything that you wrote!  It was like reading my own words!

Esp this part "When I was on Tramadol, I slowly began to lose interest in passions of mine - mainly, playing the guitar. I didn't realize it because this transformation happened so slowly over the years.  I was doing less and less of the activities I enjoyed simply because my life became more Tramadol-centric.  Popping pills suddenly provided those same highs that pursuing my interests used to, and therefore my brain had no further motivation to challenge myself and pursue those external stimuli that I previously enjoyed so much.  I was fortunate in that my business did not suffer, however I did begin to neglect long time friends and that is what I am working on rebuilding now. ........"

Everyting has come back!  I am playing guitar again and so many of the hobbies I used to love are now of interest to me again.  I am reconnecting with friends.  it's amazing! I thought I was just getting old or something.  It was the drugs the whole time.  Stole my soul away.

Hi everyone. I'm day 3 of c/t withdrawal from Tramadol and 6 days clean from tapering Gabapentin. I have been doing this cycle between Tramadol, Norco, and Gabapentin since 2011. Wow 3 years I didn't realize it's been so long. I am done so so done. I've been here before plenty of times but do I learn nope!!! I cave after 2 weeks every single time. The worst for me is the burning in my arm and insomnia. I had the burning in my arm before all of this which started me on this downward spiral I've don't to myself. As soon as it comes back I feel like I'm going to live with it forever. However these past couple of months I finally got a MRI and got some answers. Apparently I have some nasty bone spurs from my C4 to C7 that is compressing some nerves. I now get epidural shots which give a tremendous amount of relief that I haven't had in years. I get 4 at a time and it hurts but a few minutes later I feel so much relief I can take the best deep breathe which gives me so much hope as far as that is concerened. Ok so from my personal experience I would use gabapentin to get off tramadol and then I would go through withdrawals from that and for the first time ever in my life I thought I was going to die. I had been through withdrawals before but that med was my breaking point. I went to the ER and I was so dehydrated after just 2 days and my blood pressure was so high I had to take meds there and home for it. Then I discovered Tramadol helps with the Gabapentin withdrawal which started a very nasty cycle of one to help the other for a year. So here I am on day 3 ct from Tramadol after a 3 day fast taper. My ears are ringing, my arm feels like lava in my veins, sweats, bathroom issues, anxiety, depression, and of course insomnia. I have said I would get off everything so many times before that if my husband found out I was going through all this yet again he would take my kids and leave. I don't blame him really as I have done this to not just myself but them also. I would die before I lost my family so that is my main motivation. I know I'm supposed to be doing this mainly for me and I am to an extent but I have 5 babies who need me more than anything and when I see them smile at me it makes me so much stronger than I could ever just push myself. Nobody understands what I'm going through as like I said I've tried this so many times before and telling my loved ones was like describing the color of air lol. Bless their hearts. So this time I'm joining here to try a different approach at getting clean for good...forever!!! I know what's to come and I know it's going to take a long long time and patience for myself has never been a strong point for me. Man that felt good to get out!!! Thank you everyone for being here and this board!

Hi Wendy!
Your story brought me to tears. I can tell by your words that YOU ARE DONE. This medication is truly the devils doing and I mean that in every sense. You have a beautiful family to fight for an so many precious little ones that need you. When you said when they look you in the eye, I picture that so vividly with their innocent little hearts, that's what made me cry. Stay here and fight. It is a little quiet but this place is a lifeline that no other humans on earth can do for us. I try to explain to my husband what I'm feeling and as hard as he tries he just can't understand. I also deal with pain and find many other alternatives than Tramaevil to help with pain. So glad your epidurals help!. I will be about a month behind you as I have a little less tha 2 weeks to go. Been tapering since early Feb. I'm so ready but have to work. I will be checking up on you and praying for you. Stay connected. I know it is bad right now with having to care for little ones but find every microscopic good that you can find in this and repeat it to yourself. Breath deep. Best thing for me. I will be back tonight.Allinblack- I had followed most of your posts and it is so nice of you to check in on us. Fake it till you make it! One of my favorites. I do this! It gets me through work.
Manny,Megan, Blockhead, you guys and gal are awesome to support us. Other post tram peeps, you know who you are. FMN thanks for watching over us. I think the earlier years of all your guys postings have made this terror much more doable. I just which other sufferers who don't know that the myriads of symptoms are normal but they probably still take the med out of fear. If only they could find this snuggly little place. I pray for others to find it.
Allinblack- I have read most of your posts and felt like I was back in time fighting with you. That's the beauty of Emily's journals. All the stories continue to heal others and not be so afraid.....litterly. Thanks for checking in and encouraging us. "Fake it till you make it" Love this quote and use it all the time. Blessings to all

My brain is mush. I just repeated the same thing to Allinblack lol

Awe Thank You Ruth you made my heart melt. I've been reading these posts for a couple days now and I've read you are tapering slowly. That takes tons of strength and commitment. I would try and as soon as the mini withdrawals hit I would just ct it at that point. I'm am either all or nothing person and have zero patience with myself lol. I always thought I'm going to feel like crap anyway might as well get it over with. Then the paws would set in and I would never have the patience to wait it out. I do believe you did a good thing by tapering and letting your body and brain adjust a little at a time to less and less of tramadol. I think when you jump your body won't be in complete shock. I wish I could have tapered but oh well what's done is done. I think since I have been going back and forth for so long my paws isn't going to know if it wants tramadol, norco, or gabapentin. A piece of me hopes it won't be too bad because I kept switching up but that feeling in my gut says it's time I paid the piper his dues. Today is still my day 3 and I had to go get a new tire and got some groceries while I was there waiting for 2 hours. I just picked up my kids from school and now I need to clean, cook, and referee lol. My husband is in the military and that takes up 90% of his time so it's just little Ole me running everything else. I can say I'm really scatter brained and had to go through the check out 3 times as I kept forgetting stuff. They probably thought I was on drugs but no I'm just trying to get off Tramadol lol. On a good note I feel like I can see in HD today. Everything looks so sharp and bright. It's like the world has color again. I can't think to save my life but things look clearer through my eyes. I can't sit still though. Last time I didn't want to move. This time I feel like I have to get up and do something, anything or I'm going to explode. I have taken a half an ambien for the past 2 nights and only have 2 more halves left. I know me and as soon as those run out and I go a few days without sleeping that is when the rubber meets the road for me. I have survived a few traumatic things in the past with no drugs but I can't seem to get past not sleeping....go figure lol. Everyone has their worst symptom and that one seems to be mine. Ruthy I hope your day hasn't been to rough and again thank you for your response and kind words. We CAN do this!!! We will make it!!! Nothing lasts forever not even our troubles.

I take Ambien as well but right now during this exhausting tapering have to wait till midnight or later for it to work enough to get better quality sleep. You'd think being so tired the Ambien would work but nope, Tramadol demands attention ALL the time. Can you get a refill of Ambien to get you through or were they given to you? Yup, sleep deprivation is the worst.......ever! I went through the crazy got to keep moving buzzing in my chest thing for a ling time. Hell, just hell! Then it finally lightened up and now is there and a bit easier to control but it makes a sneak attack off and on and there is no rhyme or reason as to why it hits. I'm praying it won't be horrid when I stop for good. I can't even believe what you did today on day 3! Holy cow you are brave but I know you really had no choice. Are you shaking or have anxiety? Those are right up there with insomnia for me. I can totally see you in the grocery store mindless of normal things everyone else takes for granted. I CT in January for 7 days and on day 3 I would not have been able to do what you did, no way. You are stronger than you think. Try some Valerian Root mixed with Lavander and or Passionflower for sleep or calming down. . It's a good blend. I bought the tincture drops at the health food store. It helps a bit after work to calm me down after I have taken my allotted dose of Tram for the day. I count the hours lately for when I can take my Ambien. It normally works great but not lately as I get lower in dosing. My skin is beginning to feel like pins and needles and it feels like I'm sunburnt but only at night. Then I'm freezing. Did I read that you had experienced this before? This is a fairly new symptom as well as feeling bloated. I got very dehydrated from tapering (consistent diarreah sorry TMI) and had to do a sea salt and raw sugar enema, again sorry. But it worked. My husband was ready to drive me to ER but I knew that would have been too much anxiety and money. I googled and found an alternative. So stay hydrated even though tummy says no food or water.once a person is dehydrated significantly, drinking won't help. It happened so fast and I have learned my lesson. Man I hope you can get sleep cause you have your hands full. Breathing deep and slow always calms me for a time while laying down. I prayed for you today and will continue. You are litterly a one man band there running the show arnt you? Rest when you can. Yes we will make it. I so want this medication taken off the market! My Dr agrees it is bad news. Blessings,

Hello everyone. Sleep isn't going to be easy again tonight it looks like this is my second attempt at it. Sigh I will live but I have another busy day tomorrow again. Ruthy I hope you get some sleep tonight though. My ambien is an old prescription as it is a benzo and those scare me more than anything so I had some left over from a while back. I am unable to get anymore as some law changed in my state and my pain management doctor can no longer prescribe sleep meds so I would have to see a psychiatrist. By the time I got a referral from my insurance and an appointment this whole thing would be over. I went once before and this man diagnosed me with 3 major mental illnesses within one visit and put me on antipsychotics which had a paradoxical effect and made me psychotic. So I took that as a sign that I don't need those and was misdiagnosed. Who gets diagnosed with ptsd, bipolar, and schizophrenia at the same time. I think it was just all the other meds they had me on at the time turning my personality like that as I didn't have those kinds of issues before. I really thought I was and kept asking everybody if I was better now till I had my breakdown from the meds he gave me. Any who that's long and gone and I stay away from that stuff now. I was actually unaware that tramadol even had the antidepressant in it which explains quiet a bit of my behavior on them. I once was on Prozac for postpartum and I ended up driving to the coast 4 hours away at 11 at night so I could see the beach and think. So this explains alot. My poor husband he must really love me to put stick by me through all this craziness. I don't seem to handle medications very well when they affect my brain. I guess it doesn't like to be messed with and rebels so to speak. Yes Ruthy I have been here before. What's crazy is I only get 45 tramadol a month. If I take them a week straight I get withdrawals no matter what. Anymore than 3 days I can guarantee a crappy week. I needed something to control my pain since I didn't know what it was so I kept taking them then switching to norco then to gabapentin over and over thinking since I was cycling I would find the loop out of all this. Then I got my first round of shots and I went home and stopped all my meds immediately because I had no more pain. That was when I realized I was going to have to pay the piper his dues no matter what I did. I did end the tramadol last because gabapentin withdrawals were way worse than anything I had ever went through. I Googled it as soon as it hit because I knew what withdrawals were but I was unaware it had any since it's for neuropathy. If it makes you feel better be glad it tramadol were breaking free from clean and sober. That gabapentin had withdrawals resembling alcohol and benzo, along with opiate type withdrawals. I really thought I was going to die from it. My blood pressure was 130 and my heart rate was 119 and I am 30 years old 100 lbs. That er doctor almost had a heart attack with me lol poor guy. I got that fixed first and then kept my dose low only 100 to 150mg a day for 2 weeks and then I cut down to .25 in 3 days and ct from there on out. The burning and tingling is your nerve. That's what my arm feels like all the time from a pinched nerve. It will get better slowly. Hot baths and a heating pad even though it burning does calm them down as long as your in the water or on the pad. The baths work better for some reason for nerve issues. I get bad muscle cramps when my nerves start acting up and I have learned if you take a hot bath, put icy hot on immediately after you dry off then put some tight skinny yoga pants on to keep the icy hot from wearing off too fast and some compression on your leg it helps to at least lay still. For the anxiety I get up listen to music. It drowns it out for me and I will sip hot green tea with honey. I have noticed when I'm bored or fatigued and start thinking I get bad anxiety. At night anxiety I just try to make myself remember some of the best times in my life. Like really think about it and remember. I can say I did get melatonin and a calcium,magnesium,zinc, d3 supplement and it helped calm me down till my leg cramps started up. I don't get just the restless legs. I get that with almost Charlie horse cramps so hopefully the vitamins help with that. I did my walks up and down the stairs for those stupid cramps and now I will try and lay back down. I will be praying for you as well Ruthy. I hope you get some rest at least and you have a better day tomorrow.

Wendy,
Welcome ! You came to the right place for support. I didn't know tramadol had an antidepressant component to it either. My story is the same as most....was prescribed tramadol for a pinched nerve, and told it wasn't a narcotic and safe. Well, 5 years later and taking 10 to 12 pills or more a day I got hooked on a drug that wasn't addictive according to the numbskull doctors.
I'm a little over a year clean, and talking with my husband he said last year at this time my biggest complaint was always being tired and not able to sleep. I saw a psychiatrist too, and maybe they think it's their job to label you with a psychosis if you've been dependant on a pain medication. I took a low doze of Prozac for about 6 months and that helped my moods.

It's really a time thing.....your body and mind take time to heal. Like others have posted try to stay away from caffeine, and walk when you are up to it. However if you are at your wits end and you need a cup of coffee or soda drink it. It's better than going back on tramadol.

Ruthy - I hope with your slow tapering you won't experience more PAWS when you jump ship. You will know when the time is right.

Allinblack - you are over two years clean. Can you tell me the difference you feel from 1 year to your 2nd year clean?

Hello everyone. Day 4 and my emotions are getting the best of me. Today has been the worst so far. All of my mistakes I've made for the past 3 years hit me as soon as my alarm clock when off. I knew it was going to be a bad day I could feel. I did go try to run/walk and for 20 minutes though. I wanted to die when I got home because I haven't done that in forever lol. I just laid on my bed and tried to breathe I'm so out of shape. I have a huge caffeine addiction so I have to have caffeine every morning or I get a migraine. I've never had paws this early on so I'm scared to death right now. Previous times it didn't hit till past 7 days so either it's going to be long and drawn out or I'll get through it sooner. I don't know we shall see. I have had bad experiences in the past with antidepressants. I guess I'm just one of those people so I really need an all natural way without messing with my seratonin. The antidepressants and even the vitamins like 5htp and SAM E make me a very very mean angry person. I have to take my kids to soccer practice so I'll be getting some sunshine for a couple hours. I think that would be good for me. I do have a question. I can't stand to be alone but I don't want to be bothered. Has anybody else felt like that? Ruthy I think you will be suprised with yourself when you do jump. It sounds like you have gone through the motions of withdrawal during your taper so I believe in my heart you have done yourself a huge favor. Meagan I know the sleep thing is going to be my toughest battle. I have gone through clinical depression before and sleep was my coping mechanism for it. It has always been my security blanket all my life for some reason. I can't do that ever again as I will miss out on so much so I really do need to find something that works for me. Maybe this exercise thing will be my answer. I sure hope so.

@meganann123

At year one, I felt a lot better but could still tell I was fine tuning my recovery. My nervous system was still adjusting.  Minor but still noticeable  I had occasional windows and waves. Year two I feel normal.  Back to where I was before I began taking tramadol.  I feel 10 years younger. I remember who I was now!  I feel complete again. Tram seems to be a distant memory.  It's hard to remember how bad the withdrawals were.  It seem like a fuzzy memory.  I am so happy I did this!  I am finally done... it's over!

I will still get a rare brain zap here and there when I get tired or don't sleep, but I feel like a real human.  I wonder how long the brain takes to reconfigure all its pathways?  I feel like that is what brain zaps are. It doesn't hurt or bother me.  Just strange.

Man, I am getting out and doing stuff! I am meeting with friends, traveling places, craving adventure and excitement.... laughing.. doing hobbies.. dressing up.  All the things I stopped doing in my last few years of tram :) My family and husband are happy to have me back

Wendy- You have described me to the T. I'm afraid to be alone but I don't have any interest in talking. Today is my day off and I'm scared being here at the house alone which is not me. I want to go visit someone to get out of myself but I know I will not want to visit as I feel like crawling out of my body. I can't sit still too long but I'm too tired to get up. I do my treadmill for 20 minutes every morning and walk up and down our staircase 5 times to get the acute anxiety out. That helps for a while. I just walked up an down our long steep driveway twice in the sunshine and I'm just now feeling a little better. I'm exhausted from exercising but it helps so much. Just wish I had energy to exercise all day. Night time is crazy huh? No exercising when hubby is trying to sleep. When he gets home I cry and he hugs me then I don't want him around. He is so sweet and puts up with all my drama. He is a quiet man and is my quiet strength. But lately I don't know what he is thinking. He is a good cuddler and that is what I need with no words.
I'm so sorry you are suffering so much today. We're suffering together though! I hope that gives you a,glimmer of light. Are you currently taking Sam-e and 5-http together? I tried Sam-e and it made me agitated but I had more Tramadol in me then. Right now I take 1 5-http along with L-Theinine. L-Theinine is taken for anxiety. I forgot it today and just took it so I hope it kicks in. I've heard that day 4 is the worst. As I am, keep talking to yourself or God that this is all fake emotions. It's just not real. When I'm at work I do pretty good, it's weird but when I'm off work. Tears,anger, depression and anxiety are more intense. And I'm just tapering! I will loose my marbles if this gets even worse. I've been really struggling for about 2 weeks so I do hope this is PAWS and as bad as it will get.I still have the physical suffering coming up though when I jump on May 9th. Seems so far away. I think the sunshine helps too and I hope it helps you feel better during soccer practice. You will be one tired lady tonight. Let's just focus on this one day and when tomorrow comes let's do it again. Hugs and blessings. I sure hope you can get some sleep tonight. You already know what caffine does so I won't preach to you. Try L-Tyrosine for energy.

Hello everyone. Today is day 5 for me. I had a rough night last night and I ache all over from tossing and turning so much. But yay for day 5. I'm feeling the depression and lethargy really bad but the anxiety comes and goes now. It's no longer every moment of the day and night. I can also see clearly through my eyes even though my brain feels like scrambled eggs lol. Hopefully by next week most of this rebound pain will let up. Ruthy and Megan I did go get b vitamin complex, b12, tyrosine, and a crap ton of melatonin so hopefully those don't take too long to kick in as I have a full day of things to do yet again. Prayers and best wishes to all.

Way to go Wendy!
Anxiety is off and on? That's excellent. The L-Tyrosine works well for me but I have to open a capsule of 750mg and put a little at a time in Gatorade or I get too shakey. I had anxiety to the point of trembling today at work. I almost had to leave. I am so scared for when I have to jump. I can't take anxiety anymore! I am so hoping it lets up and is nice to me when I do jump. I now am sick I think. Unless the chills and a real bad headache are part of this. I have an infected tooth and had to get antibiotics today. I really don't know what is causing what but anxiety was ruthless today. I'm so tired, I sometimes think CT is better. I still have the physical WD to deal with while being completely exhausted. My poor heart. Sorry I'm so negative guys, rough day. Wendy, so proud of you. Hope Melatonin works for you tonight. Big hug from me!

Ruthy,
I wish you could take some time off work now as you sound like you are ready to jump ship. I doubt going cold turkey is going to make you feel worse. You may feel bad for a few days, however you should get relieve once the tramadol is out of your system. Sounds like you have supplements to help you with that. I had horrible anxiety too ! I hope you are able to sleep tonight. Hugs from me.

Hello everyone. It is the beginning of my day 6 and I woke up to the shakes. I couldn't even sign my name right now to save my life lol. Last night my entire family had one meltdown after another. It was horrible but I survived. After I got everyone somewhat happy I made dinner and fed my kids only to turn around and see my dog stole my dinner. That was when that Tramarage that everyone talks about showed it's ugly head. I have had issues with anger in the past before Tramadol with getting blackout mad so I have an emergency med I take when it happens. Like I have mentioned before I have been through some traumatic stuff in my life and never dealt with any of it fully just buried it mostly. I went through a paranoid phase in my life when I believed that there was no good people in the world and everyone was going to eventually hurt me or my kids again. I later learned that I had ptsd from domestic abuse which I survived luckily but I did end up in the hospital having facial surgery. I got through that and a couple years later it happened to my oldest son. When that happened I went into what my mind considered survival mode and went to great extremes to feel safe again with my son. After all of that I developed a bad anger issue not towards people just life and God. I have only once a year get blackout mad and I know the signs and go and take my half a pill which stops the heart beat in my head and the red vision literally. I do think that surviving that part of my life has helped me push through this time of my life. I thought I was going to die then and I somehow got through it. I know I'm not going to die from this and this isn't real life it's just the stupid drug. It ***** really bad but I'm kind of grateful for it because I need and want God again. I still can't talk to anybody face to face about what I have been through in the past and even putting it on here is a huge step for me. I do know that's why I liked the tram so much it supressed all my emotions and pain at the same time but that's not healthy at all. I did get a few hours of good sleep last night because I took my little anger pill. It does scare me more than any other drug on this earth though. I took it one night when I wasn't about to explode and it was horrible. I was scared I wasn't going to wake up because it calms me down so much so fast I thought my heart was going to stop as I couldn't even pick my head up. I just had to sleep it off, pray to God, and lesson learned lol. So I only take it when I can't hear anything but my own heartbeat in my head right before I start seeing red. Ruthy what dose are you at right now? I agree with Megan about jumping and feeling better after a few days. The fear of jumping is the biggest hurdle to get over then after that you have little ones. It's the endurance to keep going that I think tests most people. I have found sitting in the sun helps my pain. Who would have thought lol. I will be back later checking in as this is where things get really difficult for me.

Ruthy to answer your question about the headache and chills, yes I had those bad the first 3 days. The headache sucked and the chills I would jump in the shower or sit in the sun so I could try and warm up. Hot green tea helped when I couldn't do either of those and I like the way it tastes with honey. That might just be a placebo effect for me but it's worth a try.

Megan I am jumping on the 9th. I was just thinking if this was all worth it for over 3 months of tapering and then more torture at stopping time. Do you think I will have any benefit this way? I can handle PAWS if it DOESNT get worse at that point. How long does the snarkiness last during acute WD?
Wendy- what is your anger pill called? How is your anxiety doing. When you said I would get some sort of relief, did you mean anxiety breaks or is it a non stop thing. I just want it to lighten up for a time. I dealt with it this whole time so I pray it lessens up after a few days from jumping. I got dehydrated last night and had to do the emergency hydrate enema. I have to be very careful. Now taking 1 Imodium a day. Today is the busiest day of the month at work so here I go. Wendy remember, it's all fake these emotions. I'm so happy you got a little sleep. Ill check in tonight to see how your day 6 went.

One more question. When you guys have/ had anxiety, does your heart pound hard too?

Good morning to everyone!

Just checking in and wanted to see my ticker. Welcome Wendy! You are in a good place to be during a difficult time. You made the right decision of getting off, it will be hard but it can be done!

Ruthy, yes I had that horrible heart pounding due to the anxiety. It went away after about 6 or 7 months clean for me. I could not lie down or sit down without having it pound into my throat. But it got better with strenuous exercise. Your heart gets stronger after doing cardio every day. I would run/walk 5 miles every day since I went clean and it did wonders for me. I would go on Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years and every day in between as this was my natural medicine! Try doing as much as you can push, and you will notice a difference!

On the plus side, I have noticed a positive difference with my anxiety! I never thought it would get better, but it has. I thank God every day for helping me through this. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers! Much love-Manny

Ruthy yes the green tea gives temporary relief for me. I make sure it's nice and warm and sweetened with honey so it feels soothing going down. It's hard to gulp down so you have to take sips which I have noticed helps with the pounding heart. My anger pill is catapress which is name brand clonodine. Most people handle it very well and use it during detox actually often. Me on the other hand have the blood pressure and metabolism of a 12 year old so when I take it I really feel it's effects and not in a pleasant way either. This is just my personal experience with it and my chemistry is different from most. For example I have to take a drug test at mu doctors office and my metabolism is so fast if I don't take my medication 2 hours before I go in it won't show up from the ones I took the night before. The doctor kept asking if I was taking my tramadol and norco at the time and I had to reassure her over and over I was taking it and if I wasn't I would be sitting here in withdrawal. I get hit hard fast with them because of that but they seem to stay as long as everybody else too. The anxiety ***** but I think I can do it better than insomnia honestly. I can say without a doubt I am tired of these acute withdrawals like the sweaty palms and rls/cramps in my arms and legs. I hope I'm making sense I can't think straight to save my life or remember ANYTHING.

So I broke down and took a gabapentin because I have a swarm of bees in my house right now. They came in through my oven vent and are locked inside my house right now. I started to have a panic attack and had to take it to relieve some of the mental withdrawal and evacuate my house. So me and all 5 kids and all 3 dogs are sitting in my truck waiting for the exterminator to kill the bees. I feel no withdrawal because I took that gabapentin but I know that it's a bad thing I did. I have a pschycological addiction to that as well and quit it by tapering. I pray to God this doesn't set me back and it was my last one in case of emergencies. Please withdrawal devil have mercy on me this one time. The upside is at least it wasn't tramadol but it's still something else I had to conquer.

Since I went cold turkey on a very high dose it took my body 5 to 7 days before I could sleep a little without meds, and the hallucinations/anxiety got a little better. I no longer thought I was going to die. You will probably get a tiny bit worse once you jump ship, however it should only last a couple of days.

Wendy- don't beat yourself up for taking a Gababentin, much, much better than taking a tramadol. I took Gababentin when I had shingles, and I didn't feel any side effects when I got off. I just stopped taking them, and I was fine. Weird how we react to meds so differently. You are making sense in your above message. It's almost like your brain becomes numb, and you can't find the right words you want to say, and everything gets mixed up in your mind. Yes I found I could handle anxiety better if I slept. Insomnia is hell for sure. It's almost like when it's time for bed your brain thinks it's daytime, and doesn't want to shut down. I caved and got a script for Xanax, and that helped. It wasn't hard for me to taper from Xanax.
Hugs to you....hope the bees are gone.

Manny and Megan, Thanks for always answering me. My stomach is feeling bloated. Anyone else have this problem? Or does anyone remember reading it from others. My back is very sore and my ribs hurt. Is this normal as far as the aches and pains go? My tooth is infected and its m magnifying symptoms I think. I'm so sorry to be whiney I'm just so tired. I feel like an empty shell and the only emotion is fright and sadness. I know that is normal. Had to stop 5-http to see if it's making anxiety worse.
Wendy- What a day you are having. Bees in the house, go figure, smack in the middle of your already very busy exhausting day. Tonight you try Melatonin? Oh Lord let Wendy sleep! Does your Dr know you are stopping meds? Could she give you something for night if so? You need to sleep girl. You sound very fragile. I actually e-mailed my Dr for some Clondine for jumping. Haven't heard back. Now after hearing what you say, I don't know if I want it. You are doing so well ther all by yourself. Just think you don't have to work with the public and fake smiles all day like I have to. Not easy when your head is spinning and chest buzzing likes there are snakes crawling around and shaking arms, my gosh this *****! When does your husband return home? Tomorrow is 1 week for you! Hope you get relief soon. Ill trade you anxiety for insomnia ok? Ha ha Can't wait to be on the other side with you. Keep fighting.

Ruthy that's a deal haha. I couldn't imagine having to do your work right now. I do part time promotional sales but took the week off and my job is in alcohol sales so it kind of sales itself. My husband will be back in the middle of May. I'm doing this all on my own so I can be somewhat better by vacation time this summer. Just try the clonodine at night around dinner time. I think you will be fine on it. My normal blood pressure is 80 over 40 so it has serious effects on me. That's why I didn't use it during detox like most because my jlood pressure never gets high enough to use safely for me. I used to be healthy as a horse working and raising kids with out ever taking a tylenol. No problems ever. Then I ate something bad and caught H Pylori. Long story short I ended up in the hospital 72 lbs. getting shots of sugar water because I was so sick for so long I should have been in a diabetic coma they said. They also mentioned a feeding tube before they figured out why I was so sick. I'm past that now but ever sick then I have had health problems it seems like. I feel strong now and ready to be off all medicine and free. Oh I meant to say I have been researching online and the anti depressant part of Tramadol is related to the antidepressant Effexor. Those guys are supplementing with vitamin C and fish oil to help the snri symptoms. I took some today and I think it helped a little with the zaps. I'm scared everybody is saying the anxiety is the worst and it hasn't hit me hard yet. Megan and Ruthy the bees are gone and I have to leave my vent hood fan on because they are trying to come back on my house from unknown places. Some days I feel like Murphys Law haha. I have a full day of sun with soccer games and kid stuff. The sun really makes me feel so much better. I think I was deficient on Vitamin D. Hope you guys get a good night's rest. Ruthy we will win this fight.

Wendy- I just read one of your old posts and I see you have severe Gastrits like me. I also take Carafate on empty stomach and Prilosec for severe Acid Reflux and to keep stomach ulcers away. . My throat sphincter does not close do to entire lazy GI tract muscle so I have to sleep always in an upright position. I have almost constant nausea, no appetite and stomach pain since tapering. Guess that would be a reason why I'm so done with this. I'm forcing myself to eat so I don't drop more weight when I jump.
Did you get a little sleep with the Melatonin? I bought into this company that sells a secret way to detox with no WDs and I had to download the book for 75.00. Well they swear by mega doses of vitamin C. It has to be the powder form. Or capsules. Well I tried it but working up to 50 thousand to 75 thousand mgs just didn't seem right so I stopped. I know Vit C is not toxic but adding it to all my other supplements just didn't seem right. I'm gonna increase my L-Theinine capsules today at work, yes I work most Saturdays, to help calm me down. We were so busy yesterday I couldn't even barley say hellow to my husband when I walked in the door last night. Just hugs an see ya in the mornin.
Please stay hydrated today with all the outside activities. I've had to do another emergency hydration enema this week. I think my stomach problems are causing the dehydration along with the stress the body is going through. Drive safely with all the kids while being sleep deprived! I'm so glad you still don't have bad anxiety. I got it so early on I'm afraid it is going to be my thorn in the flesh for the duration. That and a constant dull headache. Man I'm negative. I'm so sorry. I'm usually very perky. Have a safe healthy anger free day and breathe! Blessings and hugs to everyone

Yes I have gastritis where some days I will just gag on air all day but I completely changed my diet and it has gotten better over time. I had the H Pylori so long that when I got it treatment I was taking 16 pills a day to try and kill the active bacteria. Unfortunately I will have that forever as there is no cure but it has been inactive for a couple years now. They have me taking pantoprazole for it and it works better than any ant acid I have ever tried. The carafate I no longer take because it actually makes it harder for your body to absorb nutrients. My gastrologist said I can only take it for 2 weeks on then off. Cycle it in and out so to speak. I slept ok last night and woke up feeling like I had turned a corner. I'm drinking lots of powerade because I still have the sweats off and on during the day. I only take vitamin C twice a day and the omega 3s once a day that includes fish oil. I'm focusing on the brain part of it rather than the physical. I read amino acids and omega 3s are really good for your brain so I'm making sure I don't forget those. The sun does make me tired but as soon as I warm up my pain goes away. I pray your anxiety calms down Ruthy. I do agree that is quiet a bit of vitamin C and maybe over doing it.

Oh I forgot to add Ruthy. I take phenagren for nausea but I does have a sedating effect and gives me dry mouth. On the good side is the dry mouth keeps me drinking fluids all day and it can help with sleep when you first start it. I know I slept a ton when I first started taking it. I relapsed from that older post because the withdrawal on top of not having my gastritis under control made me so sick I couldn't eat for days and gave up. This time I feel stronger and is going smoother as far as that is concerned.

Hi Guys- One week to go till. I'm off this stuff. Ill try to be positive here so no comment about me.
Wendy I'm so glad you think your turning a corner with acute WDs! Hope sleep is getting better. You are a strong gal you know that? Stay strong. Off to church........

Hello everyone. Today is my day 8 and yesterday kicked my butt. I had so much going on and I think I was up and down with energy and anxiety all day. I survived it all though. 2 soccer games and a birthday pool party for my son's friends was enough to make me drink a couple of beers which I hardly ever do. But I made it through. Thank You Jesus.

I have a question for those  who have been free for a while or even a short while. Please help with what you remember
The first week of Tramadol Wd, does the anxiety  intensify then start to let up a bit? I really need to know this. Also how long do the sweats last?  When do you start to get some at least a few good hours of sleep? And finally, I started getting pounding racing heart that keeps me up at night. Is this temporary? I get insomnia alright but the pounding heart is making it impossible almost.  And finally, nausea and disarray, how long. Just getting ready, I know everyone is different and different answers will help. I have full blown PAWS. It's been over 3 months of tapering and Serotonin is depleted pretty much with not much med in me.  I just read on a medical site that  the way Tramadol is made is made in such a way as to remain in fat cells for many months. Now things are making sense as to PAWS.
Wendy- You never cease to amaze me. I just stuck around church and kept trying to ward  off that  uneasy scared feeling. That was it for me for the day. You did 2 games and a pool party. I hope your resting this Sunday. How are the emotions? They seem to switch like a light for me lately. It seems you do pretty well keeping busy with the kids but I know it is a double edge sword at the same time. It drains your emotions just to socialize. I had that high energy up to a month ago from anxiety, it was a good anxiety energy that made me think very clear at work. Now it's gone. Happy Monday tomorrow. May Almighty God pour out His mercy!

Hello Ruthy,

The first week off tramadol was mostly physical withdrawals for me along with the anxiety. The anxiety was present and got worse as time went on for me. PAWS is post acute withdrawal syndrome, meaning that it happened after I was clean for awhile. My brain had to rewire it self and adjust to not having the chemical that it was used to for so long. I turned a small corner at about 100 days off, then turned another corner at around 6 months or so and another at around 8 months. The pounding heart lasted for around 6 or 7 months clean time for me. The nausea only lasted a few days after I jumped. Keep in mind that everyone is different. I never experienced RLS, or brain zaps. So you may or may not experience these symptoms. Sounds like you are over thinking what lies ahead, just go with the flow and know that it may be tough, but that this is only temporary. It will get better. Fear is what will get you the most. Hide out at home for awhile if you need to and try not to do much. Quiet places help in the early days. Again, don't read too much online as that will only add to the despair you may feel about jumping. All positivity helps! Remember, this is NOT forever and is only temporary. This cannot kill you. I promise everything will be just fine Ruthy! =-)

I meant to say sweats and diarrhea not dissaray. My Kindle prefills if I miss spell a word. I'm only sleeping from 11pm or so to around 3:30am or so. Then pounding and racing heart starts with the worst frightful feeling so I lay there trying to breathe deep and too tired to even do that. Is this all normal? I just wasn't expecting the racing and pounding heart to join the party. I'm exhausted and need reassurance it's normal. I don't want to scare new people so I will say I think it's harder on me because I'm not as young as most on here and have an ongoing illness. This is my last week of work before jump day and I'm not looking forward to more torture. I just pray that the slow torture has helped some. I have never had RLS so far but everything else but the kitchen sink including waking up to very sick stomach for 3 months. Thanks for listening and please answer the Qs in above post. I just don't know what I'd do without you guys. I feel like I could be a Navy Seal after going through this!
Wendy-How's it going?

Manny, I just posted again and your post wasn't there until I hit the send button on my second post, very weird. I have been tapering so long that I think I'm in PAWS from so little med in me it has to be at least the starting of PAWS. Does that make sense to you? Dear God I hope this 3 months was not for nothing. . This fear is unrelenting. I have 3 weeks off of work and no more vacation. I worry that I can't function after I go back from exhaustion. Did you work during it all? Please be patient with me I'm sorry. I can't take worse anxiety. I need God to intervene here.

Ruthy,

I tapered as well and felt bad during that process, but that was my body feeling bad from the gradual change of the medicine in me, so PAWS, at least for me was different than what I felt during tapering. I did not work cuz PAWS hit me hard after I jumped. I didn't feel bad all at once, it sort of came out of nowhere after a little bit of clean time. But everyone is different and you may not even have to experience PAWS. My friend went off of a 25-50 Tramadol pill a day habit for years and he didn't have PAWS at all. The fear is way worse than anything else. If you keep calm and lay low you should be alright. Don't panic, and don't think the worst will happen or else you will drive yourself insane. You have done everything right, and tapered slowly so just put your trust and life in God's hands. You have done the work, just let everything else unfold. Much love =-)

Ruthy,
I worked part time at a church, and the pastor only knew about my problem.
I was off a couple of weeks, and the comments I got from co-workers was that I looked so tired, and asked if I was ok. I wasn't my spunky self, and talkative. It took me a few months if not more not to feel tired even when I got a good night sleep. It took me quite awhile to get my energy back. I thought a lot about tramadol at work as I knew a couple of pills and I would feel so much better. However I knew if I started using again it would kill me, because I couldn't go thru withdrawals and PAWS again.
It's a very slow process to recovery. Manny is correct, try not to over think what lies ahead, as you will become more anxious. Anxiety, headaches, and feeling tired and looking tired took the longest for me to get thru. My anxiety is pretty much gone, and I no longer look and feel exhausted.
Hugs to you,

Hello everyone. It's my day 9. I have the heart pounding anxiety today. All day so far. It doesn't matter if I'm doing something or sitting down its there. I also had a hot flash that made me sweat which is the first time for that. I'm tired, sore, and I go up and down with my emotions but I'm keeping myself busy and distracted as best I can. Ruthy last week with my kids was my easy week. That's why I picked that one as my first week. It's all about distracting my self and trying my best not to let it take over my life. That's the drive I have mentally. I can't let it win and consume me so I try to do things like practice and games with my kids to feel like I'm being a normal mom. It helps with the guilt department too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had to cancel their sports because I didn't feel good from withdrawal. So far it is working for me. The little things I make it through and get done even though I feel like crap give me some kind of reward and a sense of pride in myself. I feel you on the pounding heart I despise it almost as much as insomnia. I agree with Manny and Megan's advice as to just go with the flow and don't over think it. Also drinking alcohol was a very bad idea for me. My Sunday was horrible and it brought back my leg and arm cramps. You can take dramamine otc for nausea. I'm not sure when Paws starts exactly because it feels like it all just runs in together. Just take a deep breath and remember this too shall pass.

Thanks guys. My reason for such concern is I feel like I'm in full blown WD! I'm not sleeping hardly at all because of the anxiety and heart pounding constantly. Im sick in the stomach. Dramamine causes me to be wired so I can't take it. I'm sweating profusely and have worse bathroom problems. This is crazy but at the same time I'm hoping it's getting some stuff out of the way. Today at work I barely made it. Started trembling. I have no desire to take Tramadol even to feel better. I'm very strong in that area. I wonder why anxiety is so bad for some and not for others. I can handle all of it except for the big A. Word. I just power walked up and down my long driveway and feel better right now. I'm in my cozy bed where I want to stay forever. I am outgoing normally but this insidious medication has changed me......for now. Manny, I clung to your words today. I'm not going to die! Well to be with the Lord does sound nice but it's His time. Megan, my pastor and his wife are praying fervently for me but at church yesterday I could not handle the loud singing which I usually just love singing my heart out to God but had to leave the sanctuary. I went in the nursery and snuggled my grandson. Wendy, I will work on keeping busy at week one. My worst enemy is my own self and thoughts when I'm alone. So must keep busy. Thanks for the pep talk my dear friends. Wendy day 9 is so awesome. I'm jealous and proud of you at the same time. Do you have the uneasiness feeling all the time. The worst ever! Life is going to be so wonderful on the other side. Oke doke time to rest I'm rambling. Been up since 3am. God Bless all of you and the lurkers. If whimsy old me can do this anyone can.

Hello everyone today is day 10 for me. Yay double digits finally!!!! I'm getting that exhausted feeling all the time now and random pounding heart through out the day. I can't wait for these cramps in my legs and arms to go away so I can try to get some pain free sleep or any kind of decent sleep at all. I feel so disconnected with the world kind of like I don't know where I belong but I know it will get better from reading others experiences. Ruthy no I don't have the uneasy feeling all the time. Sometimes I am perfectly content sitting down doing nothing and sometimes I have to get up and do anything to relieve all of this nervous energy. I haven't had bad stomach issues this time around because I take Pantoprazole and it has saved my life for my gastritis. Even before my withdrawal I noticed a huge difference in the way I could eat and not have that awful burning feeling in the pit of my gut. I let mine get so bad I would gag on the air I was breathing in and couldn't eat enough to maintain a healthy weight above 85 lbs. That is one med I will never give up and will probably have to take the rest of my life but it's like an ant acid so I have now worries about it. Waking up is getting harder for me and I feel the urge to just sleep all day and night. I always do well the first week it's the second week that gets me and I always end up relapsing. I can't do that relapse stuff anymore as I know I don't have another day 1 in me. I feel like I have tried 50 day 1s and I know I can't do another day 1 or hell week. It's time to move on and get through this part of my life. I hope everybody has a good day.

Congrats on double digits Wendy! Right now My double digits to contribute are HE double toothpicks. Just trying to be funny and quote Emily. I actually woke up feeling rested! Didn't sleep straight through by far but it was enough to keep insanity away today I pray. . Heart is not pounding or racing yet so ILL take it! It is 6:30am so anything can happen but I was only woken up with uneasiness and not the whole enchilada. Amazing what a few hours of REM sleep can do for a soul. I'm gonna get a grip today. Praising God this morning! Thanks for listening. Wendy your a veteran and I know you can fight the mental stuff with all your petite body mind and soul!

Hello all. It's the end of my day 10 and something wonderful happened. I was driving home from my son's football practice when a song I haven't heard in a long time came on. It sent chills down my body in a good way and I turned it up and started singing out of no where and I was happy. That was awesome compared to the depression and fatigue I've been feeling. Just when I needed it God sent me a sign of hope and reassured me I will be ok. I felt like I was going backwards as my symptoms seemed to be getting worse not better. Now I know I will be ok and I feel like my old self again. Ruthy I read an earlier post by organica. She tapered like you and her withdrawals were minimal. She did very well just like I think you will. I just jumped one day without really planning it just felt like a good time to do it. I thought about it hard for a day and decided the next day I was doing it this time forever. I'm so glad I just went with it without over thinking it. That's great news you got REM sleep. I'm not looking ford to dreaming at all again. I forgot how bad my dreams were before taking Tramadol. My demons always visit me in my dreams and that is where my ptsd messes with my head. I get paranoid by my dreams and sometimes it gets so strong I will get creative in trying to feel safe from things I shouldn't be afraid of. Maybe this will force me to make peace with my past and have good dreams again like when I was a kid. That would be nice for sure. I also read on earlier posts about tyrosine helping dopamine and tryptophan helping serotonin. I going to experiment with both of these and see what happens. I've been scared to try the tyrosine to be honest but what can it hurt more than what I have already done to myself. Well I hope you have another good night's rest as well as myself and everyone else on here.

Thanks for the encouraging words Wendy. Can you direct me to Organicas posts. What page is it on and such. I did let my fears take over these last couple of days as I anticipate not getting over this in time to return to work.I work in a very busy bank and I will return to work June 1st. A Monday and the 1st is soooooo busy and loud loud loud! My senses are well, super sensitive as you already know and experience. I'm prepared to loose my job and am learning to accept that if that is what God so chooses. You made me smile for real when you said the real you returned and you sang your heart out! Take that evil pill! Wendy has got you beat. Ha!
You are unpacking a lot of experiences in your past. I pray you become stronger for it and turning the damtram corner will make you stronger. You have no more day 1s on your calender and my taper days will not be on my calender either. I'm glad you are here. And glad and very thankful for Megan, Manny and others helping so much. So I'm going to take my Ambien now and maybe get a few good hours again and breathe into the WDs while praying for you all individually that God richly blesses you! Love and pleasant dreams, Ruthy

Hey Ruthy and everyone else. Today is day 11 and I have no energy at all!!!! I also feel light headed and have this ringing in my ears only when I lay my head down. It's weird. I have only had 2 run ins with anxiety today so far. It's the afternoon where I live. However the exhaustion is killing me at the moment. I feel like I'm dragging my body and brain around. Hopefully it doesn't last too long. Ruthy if you google Emily tramadol journals I believe it's the one that states 45 days clean again. Organica was on her 4th day and was doing pretty good. I'm ready for my kids to come home as that seems to speed up my day with all the chaos. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hi friends,
I just got back from the Dr and she said my symptoms couldn't be from the Tramadol and that I was having a bout of anxiety and going into depression. Um duh! Everyone was right, they don't know what this medication is capable of. She did per my request do a full blood panel for my peace of mind. I think Allinblack recommended this and I'm so glad I did it. I have taken so many supplements and vitamins I just want to make sure things are good. I have to take Klonopin for the anxiety. I already had it but was trying to to not take it too much but now I have no choice. She prescribed Clonidine at my request. Wendy, does the Clonidine linger in your system the next day? If it makes me tired I don't care I will be Off work. Does it make you sleepy too?. It is 0.1 mg the lowest dose I guess. What mg do you take? I'm trying to keep my head up here. I see why we MUST fight for positive attitude. Thanks so much for all the support. How's it going today Wendy? Day 12, so great! With God all things are possible!

Just saw your post Wendy. I keep this page up all the time so I don't have to scroll so far and I don't see any other posts until after I post something. I wasn't ignoring you. I totally commend you for how you are handling the extreme fatigue with all the kids too. I'll pray for your energy to return. Anxiety is such a pain but I'm glad it is only off and on so far for you. My brain is fried today too. It's my day off and it feels good. How are you sleeping? Thank you so much for the link to Organica's post! Hope you get some quality sleep tonight. God Bless. Manny and Megan luv you guys! And I don't even know you but what a great connection to have here!

Ruthy I have the same mgs and it makes me very tired. I only take it when I know I an stay home and not drive anywhere. It seems to have a strong effect on me. My sleep is getting there. I'm knocking myself out with benadryl and waking up sore and hungover but I'm sleeping Thank You Jesus. I do have a couple questions though. If anybody knows does the anxiety appear one day or was the first week the worse of the anxiety. Also the depression because I had anxiety the first few days and the depression but I just want to know if I'm going to get better then these things are going to hit me later on or was it something that was always there? Crap I'm worrying now. I have to remember one day at a time which is very trying for me.

Oh I forgot Ruthy I wake up the next morning just fine. Just don't sit up out of bed too fast because it makes you dizzy the first time you sit up in the morning sometimes.

Hello Wendy,

Don't worry about what may come, the important thing is that you are off now and putting in the work to recovery! The anxiety from PAWS came about a month or so after jumping off Tramadol, I was sitting in bed when it felt like a furnace being turned on within me. The intense anxiety lasted about 3-4 months, but got better, and I still have some now. The depression was there right after jumping off Tramadol and that went away after 6 or 7 months clean for me. All of PAWS seems to have gone away except for the anxiety. Don't worry about when these symptoms will go away, cuz you'll drive yourself insane and then be let down if they don't come by then. The good thing is that you are on your way to recovery by not taking that stuff anymore. You and everyone on here will continue to be in my prayers. I pray for you guys everyday! =-)

DAY 1 FOR ME.
I have been to ER through the night due to dehydration. I just saw my Dr yesterday and told her this. She didn't believe me because my pulse was fine but it was 94. That is a little high. By the time evening came I couldn't think clearly then got out of bed and was walking unbalanced. My pulse was then 120 with a low blood pressure. We're home and I am too week for work so am off 2 days early. Here I go. It feels nice to say "I don't take Tramadol"! I'm scared but excited. It will be 24 hrs at 4:30 pm today.

Ruthy!

I am so sorry to hear you had to spend a night at the ER! But it will feel empowering to say you are no longer taking that stuff! I am proud of you for making the jump. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. First few days off, just stay in bed or on the couch. Don't take on much until you feel up to it. Listen to your body. Relax, and do what feels right.

Don't be frightened, I'm still here and didn't die, Meganann, Blockhead, Emily and many more are all still here and did not perish. Nothing bad happened to us. The unknown and fear is worse than anything else, but I promise everything will be just fine!

Thanks Manny. I'm too tired to write so Ill rest for now. Bless you,

Awe Ruthy I'm sorry to hear that you had to stay the night in the ER. At least you got an iv with fluids and that will actually help you in the first week. Dehydration happens to me about twice a year so I feel for you it *****. I got hit with some insane anxiety last night and all day today so far. On my day 12 at that. I didn't know if I wanted to vomit, use the bathroom or pass out from being so light headed. I went to the doctor and my pulse was at 99 and my BP was 130 over 74. He said for me to start the gabapentin again and next month we will back off that again. He also gave me some zanaflex which is a muscle relaxer but I will have to taper off that too. I'm at a crossroads and I'm really not sure what to do. I know I don't want to take any more damn tramadol that's for sure. But I feel like I'm fed up with getting on meds to have to taper off later. I have never felt that bad before in my life and I really thought I was going to pass out in the Dr office. Like Manny said my furnace turned up my hands started to sweat and I felt dizzy like I was about to black out. If that is what the anxiety is like for 3 months I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I have so much responsibility on my shoulders and have to be able to function for my kids not to mention DRIVE!!!I can't be passing out cold at all ever!!! Has anybody else experienced this?

@Ruthy... I'm here for you if you have any questions. Things will be a little weird, but I just know you will make it. You are strong like that. I had all kinds of weird physical symptoms at first and i was sure I was dying. Weird blood pressure, heart rate etc. I am glad you had the blood work. It really helped me know I was going to be ok. They found absolutely nothing wrong with me. Of course they blamed the blood pressure etc on "anxiety"... but yeah... neurotransmitters regulate all of that stuff. When you mess with them, they are going to be wacky until they re-regulate. Neurotransmitters... esp GABA are directly responsible for anxiety. So DUH. These Drs just don't understand. It's not their fault necessarily.... the drug companies water down the side effects. We know the truth though! Hang in there, tiger!

And..... GET SOME EARPLUGS! I'm telling you.. this helps! It keeps the sudden noises from rattling you and also helps you to focus on your breathing. I still wear my earplugs if I need some "along time" or am feeling overstimulated.

Hi everyone. I'm doing ok now. I had to take a quarter of the clonodine to calm my heart and lower my blood pressure. I'm going to have to stay on top of that for a little while it seems. After I took it I didn't feel like I was going to pass out so that's a good sign. Ruthy don't be afraid to use the clonodine when you get the pounding heart and your blood pressure goes up. It's really helping now that I tried a lower dose. I'm very proud you have jumped off and like everyone else says the first 4 days are rough but the time goes by and soon you will feel better. I kept busy with house work and kids and I did feel better once I hot up and did something to get my mind off of it. I would watch a movie in the evening with a heating pad on my legs and switched it to my arms. I would take a hot shower until I felt the creepy crawlies calm down then get out and put icy hot on everywhere. I smelled so bad and everybody would complain lol. The heat from the icy hot helped when I couldn't use the heating pad. The clonodine at night did help the rls and make me sleep when I took the larger dose. When you feel overwhelmed take a hot bath. I took a bath in between breaks with my kids with Epson salts to clean out my pores and help detox. The Epson salts can dehydrate you if you don't keep fluids in you and just take lots of baths. I found that out the hard way in one of my previous attempts. I will check back often because I know I was reading these posts like crazy those first 4 days. Congratulations on your jump and I will pray for you to make it through.

Got a little sleep after taking a half of Clonidine for my heart pounding and now the aliens in my gut and chest are trying to escape. It feels like every nerve ending in gut and chest are having a late Cinco de Mayo party or however you spell it. I'm officially at 24 hrs. What a night. I was so confused before going to hospital I was bumping into walls. Am so grateful for getting juiced up before starting. So here comes a question. Are tremors part of acute WD or is it something that continues? Have not read much about it on here.
Wendy I'm worried about you. I have had the anxiety for months but was doable until Serotonin really started depleting a few weeks ago. It sounds like you had a full blown panic attack. It's good you got some other medication to counter some of the WDs. I have 3 weeks and a cozy bed to get through and try to not loose my job. You have lots of time at home with lots of children and little rest. I don't know which is better. I do know the anxiety is random. My phone just rang and I could hardly breathe. It was our son checking on me. I had to do some slow breathing before calling him back. Day 1 and afraid to answer the phone? Hmmm. This was my first test and I did ok after breathing and validating what was happening in my chest. I won! It was all fake anxiety and I won this round and that is how I am trying to look at it. You WILL do this. One breath at a time. I was praying for you in the ER last night. Thought I'd make good use of my time.
Manny- 1 day at a time. I think my anxiety might linger like yours. I so far have NO physical symptoms at 24 hrs. Very weird but I am not completely surprised. I sweat buckets of blood for 3 months and was sick in the gut just as long. No wonder I was dehydrated! Allinblack- I've been using earplugs for a few months now going places and I got a say they litterly tune out a lot of things that can cause the ultrasensitivity. I forgot them for church, singing that is and could not handle the noise. I know how much you struggled with anxiety. Did you tremble and if so, how long? Thanks so much for suggesting the blood work. Liver and kidneys are just fine. I'm waiting for my iron blood work to come back. That's nothing new though. GI Doc has to keep up on my bleeding blood vessels in stomach. Icky auto-immune disease. I sound all brave but I really haven't had night 1 yet so dreading the night but I have my safe hubby and my favorite squishy pillow. Wow hubby just sneazed and made me jump! Oh the sensors are sooooo activated! Thanks everyone Megan, can't wait till you see my day one!. Sleep tight for me everyone cause I know I won't. Luv Ruthy

The tremors are normal. My hands would shake so bad I could barely sign my name. They have gone now. That is the second panic attack I have ever had in my life. Normally I handle anxiety pretty good. I hid it from everyone but the Dr pretty well. I think I was more scared I would embarassed my self by getting sick or passing out in the waiting room. I was fine until I hat realized I had to go to the Dr. It's weird for sure. The clonodine definately helps with sleep. I'm kind of glad in a way I can't slow down because it makes the time go by. At other times I dread it and wish I could just sit on my couch and watch a movie. My hubby suprised me today with a message. I almost cried I haven't had contact with him for a couple weeks. It was a nice suprised and today was a good day for it. Talking to him put my situation in perspective and life ***** right now but at least I have a roof,food, and running water. I was beginning to get in a self loathing stage but I got out of it after messaging him. Ruthy it sounds like you are doing great and I pray your taper saved you from some of the misery. I know you worked so hard at it. I think if I get this panic attack thing under control I can handle the rest. Hopefully we all get some rest tonight.

Oh that made me smile when you said you heard from your husband. You are such a trooper! Sounds like our bodies are similar as far as being fragile. You know what? I've been taking Epsom salt baths every morning for the past 3 months. Eureka! I've been contributing to my own dehydration and didn't even know it till you mentioned this. No more Epsom salts in the bath. Now that I really might need them. I have had no RLS whatsoever. Tonight I might but did take some Hylands rls tabs so Ill see. I was jerking in ER during 2nd bag of IV. Doc said my body was dried up and the cold IV going through veins was like shock n awe. It also made my Reynauds get pretty bad too, especially sitting in a not so warm ER bed but they kept bringing me blankets. I'm relieved that you figured out how to attack the panic attack. arnt they awful? Just awful! I say we declare war on them. Like Em said in repeating someone else, you can't go out to the battlefield with fear or we're already loosing the battle before we get there. I think you are so wise in keeping busy with the kids. It gets you to face the fear of socializing better I suppose. I don't want to be a hermit crab here so I'm thinking of getting out each day starting tomorrow if my anxiety and trembling will calm down. Work is head spinning busy and I must prepare for that very big battlefield. I told my doc of the fear and she just looked at me like I was nuts. Never mind her. She will never know. I just told her to remember everything I said about what I have shared about what this drug does even taken responsibily because she will come across a patient some day with the same problem. I did take a half of Clonidine and it made me so sleepy I went to sleep immediately but just a short time cause it was daytime but man what a difference that little quality sleep made and anxiety has been at bay, well until the phone rang lol. I have to take Klonopin when I go out somewhere for a while and I'm glad I have it. I plan on stopping it slowly when this ordeal is over. Your right about wanting to read old posts to gleam tips, it's great. Ok for the second time Ill say goodnight. Happy Clonodine dreams.

Hello everyone. Ruthy I hope your night wasn't too terrible. That's great you haven't had rls. It would drive me insane but I don't think I had rls. I just had Charlie horse like cramps in the back of my legs and the burning in my arm. That is gone now at my day 13. I slept ok last night. I woke up maybe 5 times but I didn't get out of bed just tossed and turned and fell back asleep. That's good news for me. The klonopin and clonodine will make your anxiety easier to manage I think. I only get the bad anxiety around strangers. It's like stranger danger in my mind. When I'm around people I know I can have a conversation and it gets my mind off things. I over did the Epsom salts by taking 4 baths a day before and I was so dehydrated by the 5th day I felt sick and not a withdrawal sick. I agree we both sound alot alike and are very fragile. I have lost 5 lbs and weigh 95 at the moment on day 13. I hope I don't loose anymore. I do drink a weight gainer protein shake every day to atleast get some good stuff in me. Just keep eating small meals and drinking fluids because if not you fill worse. In 2 days I will have broken my own personal record and will have broken my own vicious cycle. For me day 2 and 3 are normally the worst. This time around has been different and hasn't followed the same pattern. Ruthy I hope you are still doing ok at the beginning of your day 2. I am so proud of you that you are on day 2 already.

Just got caught up with posts.

Congrats Ruthy!! You jumped a little early, sorry to hear about ER visit. I echo allinblack and Manny's comments...you won't die from this, just feel crappy for a little while. My bloodpressure was sky high, and pulse and heart rate would be racing at times. I've always had low blood pressure, as I'm slim and have always worked out. So it was a shock to see these numbers. The good news is that everything will return to normal in time.

Wendy...you are on day 13 !! You both need to start your ticker which mentally made me feel good. Good advice to eat small meals throughout the day, and a healthy protein shake, and water.

I'm thrilled to see you both strong and tram free. You may not feel very strong right now, however you have taken the first steps of your new, better life. You both are no longer a prisoner to tramadol, that in itself kept me going each day. No more counting pills, doctor or internet shopping.

We are all hear to encourage you.
Hugs

Good morning all.
Glad to here from you Megan!
I'm feeling so much better physically.I was going down fast and kept thinking it was the WDs giving me the chills and confusion. I may not have been here posting had I not taken my pulse in the middle of the night.
I have ZERO physical WD symptoms except for sneazing bouts. But the PAWS is real bad. Mostly severe anxiety. This morning I bolted out of bed and jumped on my treadmill as It felt like the world was ending. That helped a little. I need to get out everyday to see strangers to prepare for work because I work with strangers all day. As Wendy said it's stranger danger to deal with from here. I did sleep enough to tone down the sleepless headaches I've had. But with the help of Ambien and Clonidine for the heart to stop pounding. The Clonidine is a Godsend but I only have 30 pills so I'm cutting them in half. They are not addicting as they are blood pressure med. No appetite again. Too nervous to eat but am gonna force myself. I'm drinking drinking water, no worries there. I'm not sad unless I think about things just a little rage and lots of nervousness and I'm alone today! I'm afraid of my own shadow! Lol. Wendy you have a good advantage with slowly grafting in socializing. I pray this subsides somewhat or I can't work. Do especially the shakeyness and panicky stuff somewhat subside after first week? I'm gonna go to the store today (with my mommy) and stock up on stuff. Glad you slept a little better Wendy. You need your strength. I've ve e n eating avocados a lot just for the calories. They don't taste good but they are calories. I hate food right now. Wendy try avocados, if they are on sale, they can be so expensive I know. I will try to be positive and talk to God today about this PAWS thing. Luv you guys

@Ruthy

I actually had a really bad hand tremor while ON tram.  It was so bad that my Dr noticed it during a regular visit.  He wanted to check into it.  I was so scared, convinced I was getting MS or Parkinson's!  I put off getting checked out... as I had some slight suspicions that there could be a chance it was the meds... esp since it messes with dopamine etc.  Well, it lasted only a short while after quitting.  Had some other weird twitches during withdrawal.  My eye and cheek would twitch constantly. I also had this weird feeling in my third eye area... a pressure tingling feeling.  I thought maybe I was transcending metaphysically or something... lol!!

Like Wendy, I had some calf cramps and charlie horse episodes too.

Well, guess what?  This all went away.  The hand tremor is completely gone. I do not have MS and I do not have Parkinsons.  It was the danged drug.  I used to not be able to hold my hand still and flat without it shaking like crazy.

There has been recent news about Tram causing blood sugar issues.  I already had hypoglycemia before.... now I know why it was worse when I was taking it.  My blood sugar issues are much less severe now.  Who would have thought.  Look at Google News and you will see what I am talking about

Ok Allinblack. I'm just trying to calm down the nerves in my "Second brain" My gut. Oh man it's so bad but I just had to take care of some responsibilities on the phone and feel like I'm having a heart attack. This will pass but dealing with issues I have to 're learn with the dab nabit anxiety! Thanks for the reassurance. So so appreciated!

Allinblack that is interesting about the blood sugar and tramadol. Another reason I'm glad I'm doing this. When I was sick with the H Pylori I was bed ridden for 3 days before my husband took me to the er. My sugar was so low I was slipping in and out of consciousness and the marking he took me I lost control of my bodily functions and woke up in my own waste and vomit. All of that was because my blood sugar was a 35 and I should have been I a coma the Dr said. They gave me sugar in an IV and it was such a rush I fainted. I can say I never want to go through that again. It is so reassuring hearing that others have been through this and survived. I'm not really sick it's just the withdrawal. I'm on top of forcing myself to eat and drink and a protein shake. I know the consequences of not keeping some kind of nutrition in your body. I couldn't eat for a week and could no longer take a sip of sprite when I was really sick. This isn't real it's just withdrawal and it will get better on its own. Ruthy the avocados are good for you. I hate them lol. I'm eating cucumbers because they have water in them and they feel so good in my acid stomach. The grocery store might help. Just don't focus on anybody but you and your mom. I know I looked like in my own little world and I just didn't care what others thought or why they were looking at me. I had to remind myself over and over they really don't matter so why do I care what the strangers think. It helped me out alot. I feel like my anxiety comes from self consciousness if that makes any sense. I hope you are doing ok still and I'm still praying for you.

Not too good. Feel like I have no control but I know it's shock n awe to the neurotransmitters.I invited some family over for a while. My mom is already here but I want to see how I interact. I've got to get a grip. It's hard to think. I don't want to take Clonidine till bed cause I need that for night. Thanks for praying. I will pause to say "I HATE PAWS" got a throw some humor in!

It is hard to try and control it. Ruthy my heart goes out to you. It will get better. Green tea with honey. The green tea has theanine in it and it's an antioxidant. It helps a little. Only 2 more days and you will be over the hump and it will get better and just come in waves instead of constantly. Hang in there and you can try a quarter of the clonodine during the day to try and keep the edge off without making you too sleepy. You are at the peak and this is as bad as its going to get. You can do it. You are stronger than Tramadol. I'm still praying for you Ruthy.

I'm sorry to bother you guys again but my legs are getting so weak and wobbly. And I'm tingling. Is this part of it? I was so strong this morning and even did the treadmill. Now I am so so tired. I've had company and I'm worn out. Please reassure me.

Wendy- I'm in the throws of WD. It hit while company was here. Stupid move on my part. The legs feel like ants are crawling all over an I'm so weak. Does this part really end in a few days then in waves and when do your waves come? My headache is so bad. Will that somewhat subside? I will be bed ridden on Mother's day but I will never ever forget Mother's day 2015. I just took a half of Clonidine and everything calmed down a scale. Amazing med. Are your physical WDs over now? Guess I didn't escape the bad stuff after all. I'm heading to the bathtub again. Day 1 was a breeze. This is unbelievable! I will make it. I have my sweet Jesus to cry out to! I couldn't do this without you guys and God. I do feel like I'm dying but I've read that many times on here so I'm not scared just hoping this bad bad stuff ends. I am so humbled and proud of all of you for surviving the torture. It truly gives me hope. Well at least PAWS has been going on for a while so hopefully it will be over sooner.

Ruthy the legs and weakness is all normal. My physical withdrawals are gone already. It's all normal. I remember when I felt like I didn't even have the strength to get up my stairs. Just take it easy and remember fluids. I started to feel better physically by day 4. I still had the physical part but it let it up quiet a bit so mothers day may not be as bad as you think. Days 2 and 3 were the worst for me. So don't be discouraged if tomorrow is the same as today. Take the clonodine as needed. When you get further out you won't need it as much. Use your comfort meds because this will only last 7 to 10 days then it becomes mental. It's hell week that hurts then you have paws and that comes in waves. I only had I tense anxiety the first 3 days then it let up and came back on day 12. It wasn't that bad today so that's why they call it waves. It hits you then rolls away.

@Ruthy... hang in there... day 2 was the hardest for me.  Yes, the crawly stuff was going on for me.  I also felt like I was getting the flu... just very very weak and wobbly. I felt achy all over too.  very heavy. I could hardly get out of bed. It really did feel like a bad flu. The sweating, the stomach, the anxiety, the achiness.  I didn't really have any meds... was kind of scared of taking cold medicine.. so I just drank a couple of glasses of wine and was able to sleep for a bit.  I don't recommend that though.. esp if you are taking other stuff. Mixing can be a problem.

I tapered for a while like you and on day 3 by the middle of the day, the really bad part just suddenly lifted and I felt relief.  Day 4 I was euphoric and went out to a daytime music show.  lol!  I worked on the 5th or 6th day at the makeup counter.  I was a little sore and I think the anxiety was the most uncomfortable.  I took Ibuprofen for the pain and the anxiety was manageable as long as I did stuff to keep my mind off of it.

Then, of course after that, the PAWS set in for a bit.  Good moments and bad moments..



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