All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

being vulnerable

May 30, 2008 - 2 comments
Tags:

Coffee

,

self-medicating

,

sober

,

Recovery

,

dealing with anxiety

,

AA

,

Anxiety

,

Depression



hi.  i am making myself vulnerable by sharing, but when i see all of YOU doing it on your profiles, i feel i can as well.  and that makes me feel better. :)  at the risk of sounding preachy, which i am scared of because i really jump on bandwagons sometimes, i want to encourage anyone who is in the same boat as me who uses drugs or drinks, even smoking pot, to check out some AA stuff online (alcoholics anonymous).  i can't tell you what a difference just going to meetings makes in my mental health.  it's crazy.  no pun intended! :p  it's like a shot for a diabetic, or chemo for a cancer patient, it works that much and that solidly.  i can't possibly get what i get from meetings from anything else so far in my life.  i am still floundering, but i've only got 80 days sober, and that's still "early recovery" but i have a feeling a lot of my mental health issues will work themselves out through my AA program.  i had genetic predispositions to things i think and childhood issues and whatnot BEFORE (long before!) i ever picked up a drink or a drug, and i pulled out my hair and all that, but then i just compounded things by self-medicating.  **** can i ever relate to all of you.  i may have to log off for today because of all the sad, hurting, anxious, people out there...it makes me hurt too.  and i might need a nap or a distraction of humour or something because i want to help EVERYONE but i don't have the answers, all i know is AA is helping me more than i ever thought it would.  all you have to do is sit there.  you don't have to talk or share or anything.  and it's free.  it's so cool.

k that's all for now, i feel anxious because i drank so much coffee.  it's such a powerful drug for me re: anxiety (caffeine).  jesus.  so  powerful.  

Comments
Post a Comment
495384 tn?1212176769
by strummed_out, May 30, 2008
Congrats on being 80 days sober. Woohoo!! You know, I think I'll check out AA's website. I know that it's a great program and I definitely have a history with alcohol abuse. I just can't actually go to meetings because so many AAers smoke and I'm trying to quit smoking at the same time! But I bet they have non-smoking groups out there too. I'll have to look.

I've been learning more and more about panic and anxiety disorders and it really seems to be a trend for people suffering from them to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. For me, it was always good microbrews, whisky and a pack of American Spirits. Now I'm realizing how unhealthy those habits were and how they just masked the real issue--and made it worse.

Thanks for being vulnerable. You rock:)

Chelsea

453389 tn?1222452794
by SorceressWillow, Jun 02, 2008
Wow, thanks for your note!!!!
I'm so excited!!!!
:)

I know, everyone in AA seems to smoke.  But there are some groups with good time in, who have also quit smoking (basically works the same way as quitting drinking!), just have to look/call central office maybe.  You sound really positive, so keep it up, check out the meetings, and I'm excited for you! :)

Thanks again,
Krista!

Post a Comment