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Hopeless Mess

Sep 27, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

hopeless

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emotional

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hurts

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family

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mess

,

Depression



Things have made a turn for the worse today. I am in such a state that I can barely function. I got angry this morning that nobody would go to church with me. I felt my girls did not love me anymore. I felt the house was a mess and my husband was just sitting on the couch doing nothing. He does not go to church with me. I felt so lonely today and pain has just swept over the left side of my body. I have to self medicate tonight. I have no other choice. Maybe I should go to an AA meeting instead. My neck hurts so bad. My soul aches. I can't stand feeling this way anymore. I am a burden on my family. I knew today that they really don't need me anymore. I want to end this pain so much. If there is a God, why is he making me suffer so much? What horrible thing did I do? I'm scared of being alone and I'm scared of reaching out. I told my husband that I don't want to be this way after an emotional outburst this morning. I just don't know what I am angry about. I want to drink.

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