Dec 16, 2014
So as most of you may know.
I've been having some issues with my other half.
It all started last week when I could tell something was wrong... Silly me, I asked!
He said that he misses his daughter (from a previous relationship who just turned 2 and was here for a week visit the end of Nov).
I understood, and then he adds in about being engaged and trying for another baby and taking over his family farm. Everything kind of all at once, obviously. I understood, told him we'd put the baby on hold, the wedding wasn't in my line of sight even then, and I understood about the farm thing.
Things all weekend were awkward. Very weird for us. We're normally always snuggling, or being cute, etc. And none of that happened this weekend. I assumed because he was still upset.
So yesterday I asked if we were okay. When a couple who usually has to pry the other one off them or they're going to be late for work, don't kiss in the A.M... OR say I love you.... something's up :(
he said he wanted his daughter, and that mine doesn't listen to him. Blah blah blah.
FFWD to 7pm that evening when we finally sit down and talk about everything.
There's no way a judge is going to take custody away from his ex. Although she's a bum, has no job, license, no car, no bills (my DF pays her phone bill....), and lives at home with her parents, in Alberta - where as we live in Ontario. Note: nothing is 'legal' yet. they have a signed piece of paper between them and all that stuff. But not actually ever been to court.
He and I both know that just because WE think she's a bum and KNOW she'd have a much better life here... They're not just going to take away a child after 2 consecutive yrs with the mother...
So what's the only other option he says? is TO GET BACK WITH HER....
I'm sorry.... WHAT?!?!?!
No!!! That's not the only EFFING option!!!
Take her to court live I've said a million times, who cares if she still gets full custody?! We tried! Or, better yet - Say SCREW IT to taking over the farm and we ALL (me, him and Ri) move to Alberta?! Holy crap! There's an idea?!?!?
I have nothing holding me here, Ri can switch schools, and he can find work in a heartbeat, he's a very hard worker.
UNLESS IT'S NOT ONLY ABOUT MADISON... Is my next train of thought...
So we bicker back and forth. And I had asked him if he's thought about getting back together with her. And he shakes his head yes. And I say "AND?!" he goes, 'well, obviously I need to make a decision because if it doesn't work out, I'm probably not going to get you and Riley back'.
I am in utter shock at this moment, but keeping my cool - honestly haven't yelled at all to him. I cried, obviously - but I've kept my composure.
So I say 'Uhm, DUH. you won't "probably lose us forever" you WILL, and the fact that you have to 'make' a decision about this, you're losing us indefinitely as we speak. I'm not a back up plan Corey. me and MY CHILD are not a back up plan so that when you broke up with Amanda and we didn't work out, you could go back to her, or get with me and then split up and 'try' to work things out with her and then what if they don't?? you're going to beg for us back? No, absolutely not'
*que me taking engagement ring off finger*
me: "you can have that back. because I clearly have no say in this matter, it's like you've already made up your mind"
corey: "No, I haven't"
"well you better make one and fast before I do it for you"
End of conversation. I read a book til 10pm, he came to bed - said not a word.
after a little bit I reached out to try to touch his foot with mine, it's kid of our thing.. if our feet touch - we know we're okay.... knowing or not, he pulled his away. my heart broke a little bit more.
Wake up 6:30am... Getting ready, I hear tapping on the wall. We have mice, I am hesitant to believe it's him doing what we normally do. I wake up earlier, he taps on the wall, I come into the bedroom and he's got the covers peeled back for snuggles. I tap back, he taps back.. I finally go in the room.... he's just, laying in bed... heart breaks a bit more by this point.
I'm finally into the anger stage at this point. Kind of stomping around getting Riley's stuff ready and packed.
I see a duffle bag. I grab it. Start taking clothes and he asked me what I was doing, I said 'well, you're obviously not going to make a timely decision so I guess I have to make it for you' hoping he'd pull his head out of his @$$ and be like 'baby stop'... dumb, I know!!
So whatever I leave for work, and texted him like 38973087068974 times. saying about how much I love him and that couples like us don't just drop the amazing thing they have for something the KNOW wont work. blah blah blah.
Then he drops another bomb about him planning to pack his car up - turn his phone off - and go live and work out there and not say a word to anyone. so like, legitimately leaving me and riley here. without a word. but he said he couldn't do that and that he was thinking about it 2 mos ago...
As far as I can see, she has NOTHING to offer him. I take care of him emotionally, physically, I'm not a wretched B*tch like his whole FAMILY says she was, I cook and clean, and have a car, a job, a license, I don't lose my mind when he wants to have friends over or go out like she did..
But she has Madison, and to him, that IS everything...