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A New Hope

Dec 28, 2014 - 1 comments
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New Hope

,

Health

,

child

,

Life

,

family

,

Love



This is about the girl we adopted that struggles with a mental psychosis.  If you don't already know, extremely brief recap; a monster harmed her when she was with her biological mother; to get the monster to leave her alone she stopped using toilets, was then forced to wear prescription youth diapers by the school board and the local pediatrician.  The "monster" was her mother's boyfriend.  Trying to keep her from being committed to mental ward my wife and I fought for foster care, proving we could progress her overall health through medical and psychiatric interventions we were granted full adoption of the child.
So the other day or so my wife was heading out to the grocery store with the children, we have three biological children.  Our adopted daughter forgot to ask to be put in her diaper, since she's willing to wear pull-ups at home and make efforts to use the toilet at home.  While at the store the child asked my wife if she could be taken to the public facilities since she was still wearing her pull-up and not her medical diaper.  And if you've known about this child, then you will have to understand the miracle of her actually going to the public facilities and using them!
It is a massive step in the right direction for her future!  With lots of care and patience I think we may be able to get her fully potty-trained and moved back into regular classes!  Due to the issues with diapers she's been attending special education classes where the workers are trained to deal with that situation regularly.  It also cuts down on peer harassment.
Basically I wanted to share my huge joy about our adopted daughter actually using public facilities!  It's been a very very tough road, finally we are seeing progress being made!  My wife who's been changing her all this time is ecstatic!  She's only one year from being twelve years old; we're hoping to have her fully ready to become a beautiful young lady just as she blossoms into a teenager!  And to be specifically clear; I have never changed the child.  Because she is not biologically mine I have very little contact with her at all.  Rather mostly because I am working most of the time.  If my wife is too busy changing one of the little ones she will come out and sit down by me and watch tv together, and that is due to her mental fear of men, she only comes around if she's in need of having her diaper changed.  I pat her on the head now and then.  I could never tell you what we've gone through with the psychologist.  That was a very very evil monster, and thanks to her mother's cover-up there is no way we can charge him at all!  Some very rare few times I wish we still lived by the old west laws and I could go and shoot a monster just for being a monster!  But that's just unethical, given how easily that could get out of control, which is why we have innocent until proven guilty.
I will simply do my part and see that the child gets all the professional help she needs and the unconditional love of my wife.  I will admit as a man I was getting jealous of my own children sucking up my wife all the time; but then this little girl taught me a whole new perspective and my jealousy melted away.  I have to work, and my wife has to raise kids; that's just the way life is.  Unless it's the other way around.  Point being, it's just the way life is.  Spouses don't get to enjoy each other; because, life dominates everything!  But at least there is hope in new milestones!  You don't fully understand the reality of awful until you live with a grown child that doesn't use a toilet, doesn't inform others when she's in need of attention for not using a toilet, and you simply realize the attention she needs once half the house seems filled with unpleasantness!  Babies are like magically designed to transition through those stages; but an older child, a whole lot worse than a baby, a whole awful lot worse!  So, I look forward to every milestone and any progress!  I would like to see the girl become a woman and get married and have a family, to have a normal life after all the chaos and nonsense!  So, I am very very happy that she is progressing!  I just wanted to share my happiness with friends on here!

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by SwedishMother, May 15, 2020
I can see this post is already 7 years old. I am intrigued by this story and I would love to know how the girl progressed. Where is she now in terms of her toilet problems? I hope that you and your wife have been granted the satisfaction of seeing good progress, you guys deserve it for all your hard work. Sharing your home with someone who has these particular issues is not easy, it is a sacrifice, but you seem to be very capable in loving and caring for all your kids. I must say reading all your stuff on here has given me a completely new idea about people who have that diagnosis "autism". I never knew it was possible to have that diagnosis and still be so high functioning, not just functioning in your own life but being so capable in caring for others.And also very capable in sussing our and understanding underlying issues, and in describing them. It has definitely crushed some of my prejudice around autism!

/Jennifer

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