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Custody

Jan 29, 2015 - 6 comments

So, I had this written ALL out and then my computer froze... SO ANGRY ABOUT THAT! lol.

Anyways...

I made up a custody agreement a few days ago, and have been somewhat 'mulling' it over, so to speak...
Finally I gave in, and left him a note that he wrote to me a few mos ago 'Jessica. I love you baby. promise you when im done golfing i'll be snuggled up to the most amazing wife to be ever. love you' and the agreement rough draft.

So it said things like;
"for the first 4 months visitation is to be ONLY at my house without ANY of Corey's current gf's present"

"overnight visits will be honored if requested AFTER 4 months and a sleeping schedule is in place"

"Jessica will be paid $300/month for child support"
** NOW, based on his income, Amanda should only be getting $210/month BUT he pays her $250/month AND pays her cell phone bill because it's under his contract, which is $60/month, so I figured $300/month is fair)

"Jessica will also receive $200/month (considering they DID live together for 6+ months consecutively, and Jessica will be paying for rent, gas, car insurance, car loan, utilities, phone bill and daycare once she returns to work).
** He paid Amanda spousal support April, May, June and July. The sum of $250/month.
He also gave her about $2,000 cash, and his PARENTS gave her $500 cash to buy anything Madison might need (ie, a bed, etc.)
She has STILL made no attempt to get a job (because she says her daughter deserves more than a mother who works all the time), he pays her cell phone bill, she has no license so she doesn't have car, gas or insurance payments a month, and she doesn't pay rent because she lives at home!
I looked into it when we first started dating and I heard he was paying her this... I did research for months and when I finally showed it to him, he stopped paying her immediately. He told her if she had made attempts at moving out, getting a car/license and a job then it would be different. But she refused so he cut her off.
It said in all the places I showed him regarding CANADIAN common-law that you MAY be eligible for Spousal Support IF you live together for 1 yr CONSECUTIVELY and expecting a child/have a child already together. IT stated that if you should break up and are living apart and there is NO plans to get back together/work on things, then it basically starts over when you move in together. She moved here from Alberta, they lived together 2012 had Madison in November 2012, then she moved back to Alberta early spring of 2013, came back 2-3 weeks later, moved to Alberta again that summer 2013 and was gone for 2 months or so, then came back in November 2013, then left again April 2014.

He says to ME, he's not paying me the extra $200/month and he's only going to pay me the $210 that the online calculator SAYS I should get. And that's it.
I went on about how I contacted all the companies I owed money to, because HE wanted ME to be debt free before we were to start planning our wedding, and obviously I wanted to marry this "man" SO badly, I got put on a payment plan, etc. and now that HE'S put me in this situation, I can't afford to pay them!
He said my debt had nothing to DO with him, and that he WOULD have helped me out, but I 'ran my mouth, so no.. he's not helping me anymore' - Because we had sex last Friday, and the Friday before and that Monday, and I texted her and told her, lol.
I then get IRATE and am flying off the handles.
How is it that he can justify paying HER an extra $300+ to sit on her *** all day and do NOTHING. She had no bills whatsoever.
But me, who will be struggling financially because HE forced me into this situation, somehow I'm not worthy of it?
Because I work and make my own money and am not relying on him for anything?

I feel like I need to be sitting down with his parents and speaking with them about this and seeing if they can have a talk with him regarding this, because this is bullsh*t.

Then he says if I can't afford to take care of the baby, he'll just take full custody in the meantime and then I wont have to worry about paying him anything.
LOL.
I'm sorry, but no. Not a chance.

Comments
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Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 29, 2015
CAN I MENTION THAT AT HER PARENTS HOUSE SHE'S BEEN SLEEPING IN A PLAY PEN. AND ALL THE money they gave her has gone..... WHERE? She still doesn't have a big girl bed, or even a CRIB with the side rail off. It's been a year and $3500 later??!!?!?!?!?!

Avatar universal
by azndoraemon, Jan 29, 2015
He should pay $300 b/c that's not even alot unless his income is low.  is his family or your friends going to help you move?

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 29, 2015
I think he should at LEAST pay the $300/month.
And my parents are going to help me, I was going to ask his parents if they'd be able to rent me a uhaul instead of making 900 trips. But if I'm going to slowly move in there like I plan, then it won't be necessary.

Avatar universal
by azndoraemon, Jan 29, 2015
I honestly don't think $300 is alot at all.  Child care is going to be expensive.  How's your pregnancy doing?  I hope to get + in a few days.  

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 29, 2015
It's going alright.
They've found antibodies in my blood, which means they have to monitor it closely and if the numbers get too high, I need to get another shot of rhogam (not sure of specifics, basically if they get too high, my body could reject the baby)
I have an ultrasound that my best friend is coming with me to on Feb 13th :)
I have a counseling appt tonight just to be able to talk to a non-biased 3rd party. I think it might help me. I've got underlying anxiety issues as well that I've never seeked help for.
In 2012 I found out my fiancé at the time was cheating on me, so I kicked him out. We worked on things and he ended up moving back in a few months later and then he started hitting on my one friend right in front of me, so I told him I was done. My friend ended up leaving, and I barricaded myself in the bathroom telling him to just get his stuff and leave, he broke the door down, and strangled me and picked me up off the ground doing so, saying if he couldn't have me, no one could, etc. I charged him with assault because there wasn't enough for attempted murder which is what it should have been..
Ugh. I've had a pretty messed up life so far :(

Avatar universal
by azndoraemon, Jan 30, 2015
Yes, you went through alot. Talking to therapist will definitely help you.  I'm sorry that the past two bfs didn't work out for you.  I think you are doing good and it sounds like you are a very strong person.  I hope you can focus on raising your two babies right now and especially don't stress out.  Take care of yourself, your babies needs you.  

Good luck with your checkup on 2/13  

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