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PMs for STD and HIV questions - please...

Nov 19, 2009 - 11 comments

Please don't send me questions that have already been answered on one of the STD or HIV forums.  I will not disagree with correct info from Vance, Grace, 2terrifed, KDaily, Teak, Lizzie, Joggen, JeanClaude, Nursegirl, etc., and most certainly not Drs. Handsfield and Hook.  If you have been given incorrect information, it will be corrected on the forums by one of the regulars who is educated in that field.

Also, if your question hasn't been answered, post it on the appropriate forum.  I don't mean to sound harsh or offend, but I've been working a lot, just moved, etc.  I don't have much time to get on here and answer questions.  You will be doing yourself a big favor by posting your questions on the appropriate forum.

A few notes, as these are the questions I get most often -

HIV is not possible from oral sex.

No one - even a doctor - can tell you if you have an STD or HIV from a description of symptoms.  If you are worried, you have to test.

Herpes alone doesn't mean someone cheated.  HPV doesn't either.  Actually, no STD or HIV means someone cheated.  A lot of things go into determining that.

We can help you assess risk, figure out timing, test results, etc.  We just can not diagnose, and no one should diagnose you online.


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186166 tn?1385259382
by LIZZIE LOU, Nov 19, 2009
AMEN sister ! ! !  

same thing with me...DONT send me pm's when you already have a post on one of the forums.  i will not disagree with a correct assessment...and if you have been given incorrect will be corrected (on the forum) by one of the regulars who is educated in that field.

good luck AJ...hasnt helped me any when i've asked the same thing.

207091 tn?1337709493
by auntiejessi, Nov 19, 2009
Ohhh thanks Lizzie.  I meant to add that if someone gave incorrect info, it would be corrected in the thread by someone.  I'll edit it to add that.

And I've asked this for months.  It hasn't worked yet, but I'm trying.  :)

480448 tn?1426948538
by nursegirl6572, Nov 19, 2009
I THIRD that!  :0)

To add......if you are posting to one of the forums and receive an answer from one of the "regulars".....there is NO need to then PM that person....the answer is not going to change privately.

Please be courteous and remember that we get a LOT of PM's....and if we spent all day answering them , it would take away from the time that we are answering posts on the forums (where everyone benefits, like the lurkers)

LAST...if you have PM'ed someone 3 times without an answer, it is time to stop....take the hint!  :0)

Thanks for this AJ!

535822 tn?1443976780
by margypops, Nov 19, 2009
I am uncertain what forums here you are refering to so forgive my ignorance but as long as this doesnt include any that I give help could you advise all who may see your side bar which forums you mean Thank you .....

Avatar universal
by Vance2335, Nov 19, 2009
margypops this is a personal opinion of someone who is getting a lot of PM's. And a few others who also get a lot of PM's. It doesn't have anything to do with a specific forum really. It does reference the STD, HIV and Herpes communities, but it is about AJ and her getting PM after PM with questions.

207091 tn?1337709493
by auntiejessi, Nov 19, 2009
I am talking about the STD and HIV forums, and have updated the journal to specifically name those.

STDs and HIV can cause a lot of anxiety, so some people tend to go overboard and ask everyone they can find the same questions.   It takes time away from members who are asking in the forums, and while some info about STDs and HIV might be complex, the basics - transmission, treatment, etc - do not change, and my answer won't differ from Vance, Lizzie, Nursegirl, Grace, etc.  

We do understand the anxiety, and do sympathize - very few of us have never been at risk ourselves - but it gets overwhelming and frustrating to answer the same things over and over from the same people.

535822 tn?1443976780
by margypops, Nov 19, 2009
Yes I apologise I just spotted it again... I plead brain fog ....

207091 tn?1337709493
by auntiejessi, Nov 19, 2009
Yes, this if FOR ME, and about me.  Lizzie and Nursegirl have chimed in with their opinions, but this shouldn't reflect on anyone else.

I let others speak for themselves.  :)

207091 tn?1337709493
by auntiejessi, Nov 19, 2009
lol it's ok.  I suffer from the brain fog myself.

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by 2terrified, Nov 19, 2009
I just want to say I'm glad to see you are still around.  

101028 tn?1419603004
by gracefromHHP, Nov 19, 2009
we plainly post in our read before posting posts the rules of the forums. we also politely ask folks not to pm us but to post on the forums in those posts.

  There certainly are appropriate questions to ask privately but routine questions that belong on the forums are not something that any of the forum leaders are going to respond to.  When you are already answering anywhere from 20-200 questions a day on a forum, you don't have time to do pm's too.  This is all volunteer for all of us and we just ask you to respect us as much as you'd like us to respect you.  We get to posts when we can and if your post isn't answered then just bump it back up to the top to be seen by the next person who has time to answer posts :)  

The forums are anonymous and you can ask anything you want there. Nothing is too "delicate" to post publicly about and you will not be harassed or flamed for anything you post on the sex forums for the most part. We try to keep order as best we can and keep it a "safe" place to ask questions at.  


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