All Journal Entries Journals

Death

Dec 12, 2009 - 5 comments

My granmother passd away on November 29th. I penned this as a eulogy for her funeral.

Please & Thank You

Please Grandma, can I have a sleep over at your house?
Thank you Grandma for baking cookies and cinnamon buns with me.
Please Grandma, can I cut down some sweet peas? They smell so nice.
Thank you Grandma for the swing set in the back yard.
Please Grandma, can I eat all the peas in the garden.
Thank you Grandma for sewing my dance costumes.
Please Grandma, can you French Braid my hair? (again & again & again)
Thank you Grandma (& Grandpa) for taking me to Doctors appointments
Please Grandma can I live with you for a little while, things are kind of tough at home?
Thanks Grandma, tell Gramps I’ll turn the music down.
Please Grandma come up to Bonnyville and sew costumes for 120 students.
Thank you Grandma for not freaking out when I turned off the lights by mistake near Smokey Lake and there were 2 semi trucks coming toward us.
Please Grandma can you make curtains for my first home with my husband?
Thank you Grandma for moving the seat forward in the old Green car so you could step on the brake.
Please Grandma can I wear your wedding ring on my wedding day as my something old & something borrowed?
Thank you and Aunt Sally for teaching me how to jitter bug in the kitchen after a bottle of Baby Duck.
Please stop jumping up and down while I am telling you that I’m having twins.
Thank  you for introducing me to casinos and proving that you have always been truly a lucky woman.
Please Grandma, can my daughter come over for a sleep over. She likes to cuddle with you.
Thank you for betting with me on American Idol, Canadian Idol & So You Think You Can Dance. I’ve enjoyed my winnings.
Thank you Grandma for all that you have brought our lives, all the time we have shared, all the encouragement, pats on the back and the unconditional love.
Please rest in peace, watch over us, sprinkle some luck dust every once in a while and remember you are loved and missed.

I feel like I've lost my centre.

Comments
Post a Comment
470168 tn?1237471245
by Sally44, Dec 13, 2009
Sorry to hear of your grandmothers passing.  I remember when my nan died that I just could not understand how the world just continued as if nothing had happened.  She was obviously a very special person to you and you have some wonderful memories of her.
My father has deteriorated over this last year with dementia.  He's in hospital at the moment and they suspect he may have had a minor heart attack.  It's been horrible to watch him gradually lose his memory.  He no longer knows family members names, although we are still familiar to him.  It's very sad.

Avatar universal
by innerchild09, Dec 14, 2009
Sorry to hear that your granma passed. Death is hard for anyone. That speach thing you made was great. I bet she would have loved it. Once agian sorry about what happened. I've lost one of my grandmas when I was 8. I really loved her a lot. Also I lost one of the most important people to me. So I know how you feel. I had a major anxiety attack when that person died.

Your story about your dad is sad too Sally44. I can't imagine what you are going through. Well maybe it will come back.

614508 tn?1265281722
by edmfender, Dec 17, 2009
Thank you both for your kind sentiments. I would have thought given her age (98) that I would have prepared myself mentally, emotionally for this eventuallity but given that she was so spry, functional and spirited up until 9 weeks before her passing, I kept thinking simplistically that she would rally and recover for a little while.  It's been tough on my children as this is the first "death" experience of someone close to them.
Thank you so much again for your support. It means the world to me.
Sally44, my thoughts are with you. My gram had periods of delusion near the end but I think somewhere within her she still knew who was there and who was talking and what they were saying. She was just no longer able to express herself in a way that we could understand. So keep talking and touching, hold hands, rub lotion on hands and feet, play music, try and touch the basic senses. I believe it makes a differences. Keep in touch.

Avatar universal
by innerchild09, Dec 19, 2009
No problem. Your story was very touching. And honestly no matter how prepared you are for the death it isn't easy to handle. Of course I feel like a surprise death is harder but even when expecting it can still be pretty tough to handle. Anyways how are you doing? I hope you are begining to feel better even though you all are still sad about it. Let us know how you and your children are doing. I hope all of you feel better soon.

614508 tn?1265281722
by edmfender, Dec 27, 2009
"Things" are a little easier. My one son who is autistic is still struggling with the whole concept of death, wants to scrap the whole of idea of Christianity in favour of worshiping either Chuck Norris on the internet or the Greek gods from mythology as he thinks "God" is mean for "killing" his great gram. We've have discussions of decaying bodies, to heaven to when I die etc. It's been difficult especially when you have thoughts of suicide floating through your own brain. My sleep and mood have been seriously affected. New med clorozapam for sleep but not sure if it's working as I'm still up 3-4 times per night.
The other two children are doing okay, seem to have adjusted reasonably well. Toys & music & activities are keeping them occupied.
Hope you've had a nice Christmas surrounded by peace, serenity, people you love and musice.
Take care and thanks for caring.
Laurel

Post a Comment