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ignoring, defiance or deaf?

Apr 23, 2015 - 2 comments

My 5yr old won't listen...
Sorry, let me re-phrase that... She listens and hears just fine, doesn't comprehend what I'm saying I think is more along the lines of what I'm experiencing.
I've been talking about it briefly. And just now decided to Google it. And thought I'd share some stuff I found :

Say it With a Single Word

The situation: My daughters have only one assigned chore: to carry their plates to the sink when they're done eating. Still, not a night went by when I didn't need to tell them to do it, sometimes three times. Even that didn't guarantee they would -- and who would finally clear them? Take a guess.

The old way: After they ignored my repeated commands, I'd sit Blair and Drew down and preach for ten minutes about how I wasn't their servant and this wasn't a restaurant.

The better way: Kids usually know what they're supposed to do; they just need some simple reminding. "They'll tune you out when you go on and on," Faber told me. "Instead, try just one word to jog their memory."

The result After dinner one night, all I said was "plates." At first the girls looked at me as if I were speaking in an alien tongue. But a second later, they picked them up and headed for the kitchen. After roughly a month of reinforcement, I don't need to say anything; they do it automatically. "Teeth!" works equally well for getting them to brush, as does "Shoes" to replace my typical morning mantra: "Find your shoes and put them on; find your shoes and put them on". And when I hear Blair screaming, "Give me that!" I simply say, "Nice words" (okay, that's two words). I practically faint when she says, "Drew, would you please give that to me?"
Now, I already do this with most things, but I feel like I'm being too impersonal with her if I'm just constantly blurting out 1 word at her instead of saying a full sentence?

One lady on a forum said she's had her kid basically in a constant time our for week, and feels like he's missing out on everything because of his behavior, but doesn't want him to think it's okay to act out and get rewarded.
I'm on this lady's level in about 50% of the sense, but the other 50% is that she doesn't 'act out' like most of these mothers say their kids do (when i'm around, anyways), it's just solely her not listening that's the issue... She's never thrown a fit or anything around me in a very long time actually. Because she knows I will not hesitate to either turn the car around and go home, or pack her up and leave wherever we are (she was around 2.5/3yrs old when she tried to throw a tantrum in a grocery store for the first and last time because she didn't want to sit in the cart) My step dad was like, 'she can walk, let her walk, i'll watch her'. and I'm like 'no, because next time she does this and you're NOT with us, she's going to pull the same sh*t and I am not running after a child while trying to grocery shop' so, after a few attempts to force her little writhing body into the seat, I picked her up, and we went home.

And after that I don't think I remember her doing anything like that.
*sigh* I'm to the point where I'm just so run down.
Any advice is welcome. Unless you're going to tell me to calm down. Trust me, I already know that...

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5575813 tn?1452481085
by Hollus, Oct 11, 2015
Holy Cow!! It's like you dropped off the face of the planet. Did something happen to make you leave? I miss you and think about you often. I hope you are doing well!!

5575813 tn?1452481085
by Hollus, Dec 20, 2015
I hope you and your family have very Happy Holidays!!

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