Jan 21, 2010
This is the first entry to this journal, I thought it would help to get rid of the negitive stuff that goes round my head, like a never ending Merry-go- round. On the outside , everyhting looks good, and I have done well (Been clean for 12 months in 2 weeks). But I am full of regret for what life I have missed and thoses people, mostly my kids, that have been affected by my 10 years of heroin abuse. This feelings come when i least expect it,and truely knock me for six. I have had so much support and understanding, i am terrified I will relapse, and let everyone down, including myself. I keep holding onto the fact that I have got this far, and it has to get easier, surely- I have done the hardest bit ?? I darent share this with the people who love me, as i dont want them to worry or start getting suspicious, I just want to be able to forgive myself and move on with the great future I have ahead of me. I wonder does this ever cease ?