Jun 18, 2015
I feel a 'tad' better today - about 5% improvement. Still shaky, racing thoughts, pounding heart though not as bad today - geared up and like I am ready to run a race but am not allowed to move from that starting position of "ready, set...." but there is no 'go' to release the energy and tension. I am not as irritable today - or at least I can catch myself some of the time.
I went to the medication review group of Dr G today. Only 2 people, myself another person and him. That made it easier. I think I like the group and its purpose and I think all doctors working there need to have this kind of thing. Needs are addressed as if one on one, except it doesn't get into a lot of personal detail.
I go again next week to the group and to see him - plus I see Brad next week too.
Don't understand some of the things I deal with. I have questions about my dreams - how a former friend/doctor can appear in dreams doing things you never imagined and know he would never do - and this is a person I highly respect and admire. So why is HE in the position in the dreams that he is?
Why is it memories we try so hard to bury have to come womping us again and again when we think we have finally gotten past them? I sure wish mom and dad would do therapy with me - I think it would shorten my time there, but I know that will never happen. That would mean they have to take real responsibility to what they said and did growing up. It is okay for them to blame their parents for things they endured, but they sure don't want to think they did any wrong.