All Journal Entries Journals

Losing Gabe. :(

Jun 25, 2015 - 27 comments

1566776?1436006360
Thank you all so much for your notes and prayers.  It's been a very very tough couple of days.  Starting with Saturday Gabe stopped eating.  He had lost a lot of weight and his poor little lymph nodes were all swollen.   Over the past 2 weeks he's been "picky" about what he's wanted and what he'll eat.  He stopped eating any kind of dog food (canned or not) so I would feed him whatever he'd eat.  It went from bologna being his favorite ( I told my mom I didn't care if I had to buy several packs a week, as long as he'd eat) to scrambled eggs to just dog treats to nothing.  So Saturday he had NO appetite at all.  I began to worry, I knew we were on a decline from here on out.  I prayed he'd want something, anything but he wanted nothing.  He was still drinking, going out to potty and so forth.  Tuesday came around and still no appetite.  He wanted outside and was kind of in a hurry about it so I opened the door and he made his way off the porch and out in the yard.  He had to throw up and it was of course only water becasue that's all he had in him.  I noticed he started getting diarrhea and  I read up the later stages of lymphoma awhile back when he was diagnosed and these were the later stages.  On Wednesday he wanted nothing at all.  No water, nothing.  He only went to pee once  all day and that was that morning.  I let him out and walked with him around in the yard.  He squatted to pee (to weak to do anything like hike his leg) and I noticed it was pinkish.  I knew his kidneys were shutting down.  Our vet closed at lunch on Wednesday and I was praying he'd make it to this morning.  As the day went on Wednesday he was taken a turn for the worse rather quickly.  He started breathing weird.  He was restless and I knew that could be from pain.  I noticed his head would tremble a little.  I was deathly afraid of seizures and there's no way I would let him get that bad off.  Around 11 pm he was in distress.  He couldn't breathe hardly at all.  He was making this weird noise and I knew it was a struggle for him to breathe.  I called the vet and made arrangements to meet him there within 10-15 min.  I didn't think it'd happen that fast and figured we'd be there today but I knew Gabe wouldn't make it until this morning.  So at 11:30pm we pulled up at the Vets office to help his beautiful little self to the Rainbow Bridge.  I felt SO bad for him laying there desperately trying to breathe.  The Vet said Gabe barely had any blood and it takes blood to move oxygen to the body.  His body couldn't make "new blood" because of the cancer and how aggressive it was.  I'm thankful he's no longer suffering.  That's THE hardest decision to ever make.  He's lived IN my house for over a month now with me taking care of him every single day. My life revolved around keeping him comfortable, fed, giving him his meds daily and most of all loved.  It's going to take some time getting used to that all being gone.  I know it'll get easier but it's just so hard.  He's running around with my sweet Boogie as we speak and that gives me comfort.  He's able to breathe, chase squirrels (that he loved to do) and he'll never have to worry about pain or struggling to breathe again.  I'm so thankful for that.  

RIP Sweet Boy!!  

Comments
Post a Comment
982214 tn?1471454781
by krichar, Jun 25, 2015
Aww des... I'm sorry :( I inow its hard but you're right, he's no longer suffering and he's up there having the best time :)

Avatar universal
by Belle313, Jun 25, 2015
Gabe is and was your angel, there for you when you needed him most, to get thru the he!l of the past 8+ months. He was probably a huge part how you got thru all the bad times that plagued your family....getting you thru days you thought you had no more fight or strength. I know, without a doubt he will always hold a special place in your heart. Gabe was a lucky pup to have had you for his momma.  I'm positive he knows how much you and B love him. You made difficult decision that was best for him even though it breaks your heart. I think that is the hardest part of having fur babies.
Be good to yourself.
Lots of love sent your way.

2066718 tn?1431143569
by TTC2006, Jun 25, 2015
Big hugs!  You made the most loving decision you could have made for him.  I know it hurts anyway.  :(

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 25, 2015
Thank you so much Kellie.  Yes he is and that makes my heart smile.  

You're probably right Ellen.  I never thought of it that way.  He definitely took my mind off of a lot of things.  I wanted SO bad to take care of him and help him through this the best way I knew how.  He was an outside dog at my parents but he loved being in our house and I made sure to make him extra special for the days we had left together.  That is THE hardest part of having furbabies, is losing them.  I wished with everything that I am that we could have them longer.  To be so loving and such companions it ***** they're only here for a short while.  They'd make AMAZING lifetime friends.  Thank you so much for everything E !!!  

Thank you so much TTC.  I know it'll never be easy making that type of decision.  I have no doubt I did the right thing but it hurts SO bad having to be the one to say " do it".  

1386765 tn?1451164337
by pb95, Jun 25, 2015
I was really hesitant to get my new doggie for this very reason.  I know I will have to do it again some day and I am NOT looking forward to it because it hurts so bad.  All those good years though.  they are the best!
Thinking of you.

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Jun 25, 2015
RIP, Gabe.  

1217293 tn?1467354344
by Risa615, Jun 26, 2015
We had to put down our 15 yr old cat this week, I know it is so hard. My heart was breaking to see him suffer so I understand your pain. I am sending you hugs Des. Hang in there.

1742167 tn?1436471720
by heather727, Jun 26, 2015
Even though you've done the right thing for him, it still hurts that he's gone. But he knows that you loved him right up until the end. He'll always be in your heart. I hope you're able to heal from this new pain. You've been through so much lately. You really deserve some peace. Hugs to you!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 26, 2015
You know PB, I've thought the same many many times.  I just can't help myself with getting more dogs.  I love them SO much and they're so easy to love.  I'd rather experience that love and all of those memories than to have never of had them.  Also, I know I'll see them again some day.  :)   Thank you so much!

Tysm Melissa.

Awww Risa I'm so sorry to hear also.  Thinking of you also and sending hugs.  Thank you!

Thank you so much Heather.  He was SO easy to love.  He was the most laid back, calm dog ever and we're missing and going to miss him terribly.  I'm thankful we had him for the time we did and made some amazing memories.

2100308 tn?1388496839
by Yrmacias, Jun 26, 2015
I'm sorry to hear the news of your doggie :( Thinking of you, hun! xoxo

4548024 tn?1590005019
by renae176, Jun 26, 2015
Thinking of you, Hes in a better place and yes chasing the squirrels around.  Big hugs

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 26, 2015
Thank you so much Yrmacias and Renae!!  Means so much.  

334926 tn?1436811523
by butterflybabies, Jun 26, 2015
How sad :(  I'm so sorry

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 26, 2015
Thank you Lily.  

707563 tn?1626361905
by Emily_MHManager, Jun 27, 2015
I'm so, so sorry. :(

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 27, 2015
Thank you very much Emily.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Jun 27, 2015
I'm sorry to read this Des

That's never an easy choice to make. And then after the decision is made, you wonder if you made the right choice.

He's not in pain anymore. And that's the best thing you could have done for him

You're in my thoughts and prayers

3149845 tn?1506627771
by Life360_Dave, Jun 29, 2015
My heart also goes out to you. Ive been there myself and is truely life shattering. Some day youll be with him again.

"Lay down my child and rest. Your toil was endless, your love enduring and your kindness gentle.
No in your heart that wings are by your side and will lift you to the place. That work will be done as you have laid the path through your faith in all that has been created. The limits of eternity awaits where you will be forever joined firm with the faces, feelings, scents and sights that you felt were long gone."


463897 tn?1468013750
by MH Community Mgr, Jun 29, 2015
We are very sorry for your loss.

Best,


Cheryl
MH Community Mgr

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 29, 2015
Thank you so much Shannon, Life and Cheryl.  

Yes I do Shannon, especially with Buck.  Our Boxer we lost a little over a year ago.  With Gabe, bless his heart, his kidneys were starting to fail and he had stopped eating 4 days prior.  When I saw him no longer drinking that day I knew it was close. Honestly though, I didn't know it'd be that fast.  I had already planned to take him the following day.  I'm at peace knowing he's no longer suffering.

It really is Life.  We had to "let go" of our Boxer over a year ago.  The first time I've ever had to put a dog to sleep and I regret that decision daily.  I pray he wasn't just having a bad day but then I remember the look on his face and he was telling me he was tired, he was hurting and he was ready to go.  I'm SO thankful I'll see them all again some day.

3149845 tn?1506627771
by Life360_Dave, Jun 30, 2015
In all of life there is one goodness and there is one greatness in what God has made and it will be the joy to hold all our loved ones tight again and that time we will never let them go. Alot of licking will take place so bring plenty of paper towels with you!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 30, 2015
Lol that's so true.  I can't wait!!!  I've had many furbabies in my life time and I cannot wait to see them all again. It's going to be amazing.  

973741 tn?1342342773
by specialmom, Jun 30, 2015
Ahh, the pain of losing our babies!  I try to look at how privileged I was to love them and how special their life was to be so loved.   That gives me a bit of comfort.  For my two pups that have died, I have a little place in my garden that I plant for them.  I have a little sculpture of a little boy playing with a pup and another of a dog laying by their ball---  both perfect for my dog's personalities.  And then I plant flowers around the area.  My special tribute.  :>)  Hang in there and may your pain ease a bit ever day.  

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 30, 2015
Thank you so much Specialmom.  We do the same.  When my first furbaby Sadie passed away at 10 from Cushing's Disease my dad carved a rock with her little name on it and a heart.  We buried her down by the lake.  She loved long walks and playing down there while we're fishing. She was amazing and was my little lap baby. She would "talk" to us when we'd come home.  It was THE cutest thing.  We buried her brother "Boogie" our Boxer/Bulldog near her and done the same.  He passed away a little over a year ago and that was the first dog I've ever had to make the decision to put to sleep.  THE hardest thing to do ever.  I cry for him daily hoping and praying I did the right thing.  He had vestibular disease and we had 13 wonderful years with him.  I've been SO blessed with these babies.  I'm SO thankful I was their mama and got to spend all of these wonderful years and make a lifetime of memories with them.  I've always said that I just hope and pray my dogs know HOW much I love them.  I know they've given me a lifetime of love!!  

I'm sure it's beautiful, what you've done for yours. :)

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Jun 30, 2015
I'm am so so sorry for your loss.  Having been there with my dog Justice, it is the hardest decision and thing to watch.  Ugh, my heart goes out for you but I can tell how much she was loved and you took such great care of him.  Be kind to yourself and I hope you are able to find some peace soon.  xo

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jun 30, 2015
Thank you so much Journey.  It really is.  Horrible to come to terms with it and go through with it.  I wished it was never a decision we'd have to make.  

1916673 tn?1420233270
by tonyb286, Jul 04, 2015
So sorry for your loss. The loss of a best friend and companion is the hardest thing to cope with, as many of us know only too well. I hope you are able to remember the good times, and smile about them, because although the end journey is never easy, it's also only a small part of the wonderful life, love and adventures shared.

Run free Gabe.

Tony

Post a Comment