Jul 16, 2015
Thank you for your note.......I don't know what else to say to you or to him. Just please let me know what is going on before things get too out of hand that I can't intervene and not that I'm planning too.. I have made a promise to myself that he is the one calling the shots and he is right in saying that it really is none of my business. I only pray that he is able to find his way. Although I have been saying that prayer for nearly 6 years, somebody just isn't listening to me. It was the same when Dean died, God just wasn't around to hear me. I know you are tired and I have said that you need to go, but you stay because you care for him and me, but it is time to live your life and do fun things and be 22 and have fun and explore and discover. I know if He was sober that he would show you all those things. Unfortunately he has never been sober or well enough to show you who he really is. this isn't Him, but just some lost version of him. The real Him is in there somewhere but is lost in a battle within himself and up till now he isn't winning. I hope one day he does and you have the opportunity to at least get to know the 'real' Him because he is such an amazing person! I am glad he is going to work, makes me wonder though......I think you are an amazing young woman, but your job isn't to be his provider, it is to be his friend, but unfortunately he has taken great advantage of that, which really needs to stop because that isn't helping him. I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for him......nothing I say will ever express my gratitude. Thank you for loving my son and for believing in him when he hasn't believed in himself. Maybe one day he will come to realize all you have done for him. Have a good night!
How is someone supposed to reply to the most heart wrenching thing I have ever read? This is my deed to freedom wrapped in my everlasting hold. I'm stuck.