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In desperate need - Panic Stations!!

Aug 16, 2015 - 2 comments





Weight gain



I've gained weight for real after telling people frequently over the years that I've put weight on when I haven't.  I recovered from Anorexia and Bulimia, but have noticed myself being too relaxed about my food consumption.  I recognize that I eat more whilst drunk.  I have also had 'menopausal' weight gain.  A lot of bad stuff is going on for me in life right now, including the passing of my Father.  However, it's frightening me that I am wanting to die mostly because of my weight.  I am bloated at present, which has bought on an uncomfortable wave of panic, and a stronger urge to die.  I don't want anybody to see me at this size; and won't be able to 'go through' the help I need.
My weight is the be all and end all now.  I can't think straight (not drunk at present!).  Can anybody give me some calm?  Death is my own answer :-\  Beanie0

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by spider6, Aug 17, 2015
Beanie...honey, I dont know you, but I relate...anorexic as young girl/woman....still huge body issues, going through the bloating thing as well.  I havent gained weight ...but I physically feel like I have. I'm 107lbs. And I HATE how my body looks right now...menopausal. I'm non practising alcoholic.....put the booze will turn you into a "bowling pin" shape no matter how you try to control your eating. You need to talk to someone hon.  .....phew, so do I though, so I'm not saying I have answers for you...just saying you're not alone.  Death is not answer.  Not for this.
Peace girl.

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by remar, Aug 18, 2015
Hi Beanie.
If you've been through treatment for the anorexia before then you can do it again. You know why you're feeling this way, it's because you lost your father. You probably feel like you need something to help with the pain and what you've found is alcohol and the anorexia coming back. I think if you got into, or back into, therapy it would really help. Find a therapist that deals with grief because I think that's your main issue right now.
I'm always here to talk any time you want to. Please feel free to send me a personal message to if you would like.
Take care Sweety. Your life is very valuable and has meaning in this world.
Big hugs and love to you.

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