All Journal Entries Journals

I was a "no show"

Feb 27, 2010 - 0 comments

erratic behavior

Was asked to coordinate some volunteers for a local club, supposed to be there at 10:00.
Had been so hungover from the night before, I didn't wake up till 11:30, a message was left on my phone that they missed me but did alright without me.
Not snippy, just wondered what happened to me.
I felt really ashamed of myself.
Went back to sleep and slept till 4;00, friend called to remind me of birthday party at same pub I was at the night before. I drank root beer. Had a good time. I have more fun when I don't drink, I need to learn how to NEVER drink, I don't even like drinking that much, it's just that I get in a social situation where everyone else is doing it, and I shouldn't.
It does not go well with my meds and completely changed my personality. I do bad things and I am normally the most NOT bad person you'll ever want to met. Someone I know from South America doesn't drink, he says the devil knows you are weak and then works through you to do evil. It's sort of a common sense thing, and I am not a religious person not believe in "the devil" except in theory.
I don't know if I should tell me therapist about my bad behavior because I'll only hear what I already know. When I drink, it changes me.
Also in my manic state, I realized I have a ton of FF miles, enough for a trip to Europe, so I looked up articles on traveling alone in Italy, train trips, cost of hotels, and really thought this was a perfectly normal thing to do, when it was actually not.

Mood Tracker
Post a Comment