Jul 20, 2008
My friends it's time for me to admit to a recent relapse for which I'm not proud and in need of support and courage to stop taking these damn pills again.
In honestly this started out due to some high pain issues which are due to my health issues. I had been handling it fairly well pill free and then the pain got bad, my emotions went nuts, and I started to use again about 2-3 weeks ago. Needless to say it didn't take long for my to get right back up to nearly the same amount of opiate use as before except I'm not using my DOC. My DOC is Oxy so in the moment when I used I decided to use Roxicodone instead thinking that would be better for me. NOT!
How sad this truly is as I had right at 90 days clean and somehow I let the pain get the best of me. The question still remains in my mind how will I deal with my pain issues and not use since any type of Aleve or anything that has anything except for acedaminfin(sp?) will irritate my stomach ulcers. Take a plain old Tylenol doesn't even touch a headache for me much less any pain that my body is enduring. Even with all of these health issues I honestly want to get clean and remain clean because I want my life back and this isn't the way to get it.
Go ahead my friends and tell me how you feel!! I'm ready and waiting for whatever you throw at me, goodness knows I deserve it! I'm so sorry to all of you that worked so hard with me to keep me clean but I assure you I do want this but I made a mistake and now I'm so scared that I feel paralyzed, almost like a deer in headlights! I beg your forgiveness and pray for your help and support!