Nov 24, 2015
Oh gosh, where do I start?
Our appointment was at 10 and we didn't get back there to see the Dr. until 11. He went over our records and Brian's analysis and told us that he had no idea why Brian on our first analysis had some sperm and on our last 2 had none. So off we go to get checked out. They sent us for a new SA, then I had to have a checkup/pap smear. We met with a nurse and then had blood work done. Brian's new SA that day showed ZERO sperm. :( So he's sending us to a urologists down there that he corresponds with. He said he'll do an ultrasound to see if Brian has sperm but they're blocked for some reason and if so he can extract them then and freeze them for when we're ready and if he doesn't see any at all he can do a biopsy and hope there's some in the biopsy.
It's definitely not the news I wanted. I was SO hopeful that after Brian being off of Clomid for about a year that he would have something again, but alas, we have nothing. He said if we could find at least 100,000 he could work with that, especially since we're doing IVF and ICSI.
I don't know how to feel really. I guess numb? Confused? We didn't get home until after 4 yesterday evening and I guess between the stress of everything my headache turned into a full migraine. I didn't even have a chance to go through the buttload of paper work they gave us. I came home and was in bed by 6:30. So today I guess you can say is my "pity me" day. I've cried several times. I know we have other options, but it's devastating knowing that you may not have your own biological child. Yes he/she would totally have my half, but I guess it's weird because I've always imagined myself saying things like "Omg you get that from your daddy" and now I think that if we don't find anything and we go on with DS, then technically, he/she won't have any of his traits, characteristics or whatever you call it. I dunno, just got a thousand things going through my head today.
So that's our consult in a nutshell.
Thank you all So much from the bottom of my heart for all the kind words of support and all the prayers. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it, I don't know where I'd be without you ladies. <3