Apr 18, 2010
Earlier this week me and my partner attended the N.A.B. convention (National Association of Broadcasters) for a couple days. It would have been more, but my system, for whatever reason, completely tanked as soon as the alarm went off the first day and I could not bring myself out of my exhausted fog all day, even falling asleep in a chair at the convention by mid afternoon. I don't even remember driving us home. I lasted long enough to make a half-hearted supper and then collapsed for the next day and a half (much to my partner's annoyance, who wanted to be at the convention for the full 4 day run.)
My lungs were feeling distinctly heavy, and every muscle felt like it had been in a marathon. Anybody else would have said I had the flu, but these are symptoms that appear fairly regularly for me, especially since my diagnosis of Hypothyroidism 2 years ago. I have a prescription diuretic, typically prescribed for patients with heart failure, to help drain the edema that tends to manifest in my right ankle and in my lungs...probably due to an undetermined degree of cardiac insufficiency linked to the fact that the hypothyroidism had been going on for a very long time (years, possibly decades) before it was discovered. There's no way to reverse the damage done, and I accept that as a matter of course.
There is some sort of inflamed lump behind my right tonsil which I can feel in my neck when I swallow. I've had it before without ever knowing what the heck was causing it. It does go away after a time, just leaving me with questions until the next flare. It does seem to link itself with the overall feeling I have of "Bleh, need to sleep," though. I haven't had health insurance since 1999, and Obama's policy doesn't put me in the picture until 2014, according to what I understand so far about their qualifying groups. My partner's medical bills this year are well over $4000, and both of us are unemployed. No way I'll be seeing the inside of a doctor's office any time soon.
Looks like the weight is going to be slow again this week unless something spectacular happens tomorrow or Monday, which I tend to doubt. If it's one detrimental habit that I've taken with me from my years of dieting is being an neurotic slave to the SCALE. It's almost become an altar where I pray for a miracle every time I step on it, which is a setup for disappointment more often than not and the results never do my psyche any good. I've been doing that for so long that I practically don't NEED a scale because I can guess within a margin of 2 pounds how much I weigh just going by how I'm FEELING. Sad.
Oh, well. If this week's a write-off, so be it. I've behaved myself and will continue to.