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4 year old daughter misbehaving

Jul 24, 2008 - 1 comments
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misbehaving

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daughter

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4 years

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problem



help me someone my daughter who turned 4 in march is constantly testing the control in the household.
And believe me, we have tried to do our best at disipline, consequenses, time out, taking all the toys away, sending her to her room.... nothing has made an impact on her.. she is very smart(preschool teacher spoke very highly about her abilities but her behavior not so much)I love my little girl so much but i find myself yelling at her so often it makes me so sad.She says she understands and wants to behave but when opportunity strikes she is doing exactly what she has been in trouble for? Part of our problems are that her father and I are seperated,  we never married and broke-up under very violent circumstances when she was 18 mo....She sees him on a regular basis but always askes for him when she gets into trouble. He has also admitted that he will not keep all my rules i have over his house(ex. jumping on bed, running in house) Also he insists she behaves for him and when she doesn't  that all he has to do is either give her a look or a smack on the butt and she straightens up for him. I am so frustrated with my ex- because he has told her that he still loves me and he refuses to make her sleep in her own bed at his house. My new boyfriend and I have been together from the time me and her father split-up. She has no problem with him untill her father tells her that he isnt her step-dad and he tells her he doesnt want her hugging or kissing him....Her Step-Dad loves her and has been there for us in the hardest times and he wont admit it to me but when she rejects him i know he feels awful mabey even  mad at my daughters father. Just cant get her to understand that she would have so much more fun in the day if she would make "good choices".   Help Me  Any Comments are welcomed

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569994 tn?1217788889
by Dockter, Jul 24, 2008
Stop worrying so much, kids will jump on beds and that is O.K.  I have just graduated from a course called "Redirecting Childrens Behavior"  for the second time.  I went once when my son was 5 and now again that he is 8.  I recommend trying to find the course close to you.  If not at least buy the book or try and find it at the library.

Your ex. is going to behave the way he does and you can not change that so stop trying.  Enforce the rules at your house and let your daughter know that she can behave the way she does at Daddy's house but in your house she is expected to behave a certain way.  Instead of yelling, give your daughter choices, i.e. If you jump on the bed then you need to make the bed after you are done and then no TV books or whatever her favorite thing is until the bed is made up.  Let her make the bed herself and say nothing about how she did it, she will feel a sence of accomplishment.  You can always go back and make the bed yourself later.

Hope this helps.

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