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count down to surgery

Apr 30, 2010 - 20 comments

My count down to surgery, today the 30th April 2010, i have 6 more sleeps to surgery, the unknown . The time has come  and now it has im absolutely terrified. This has been on going since October last year and have been waiting to end the horrible period in my life but now it's near  i just wish i could run away. Having had major bowel surgery April last year i never thought i would be having major surgery again 12 mths later and also the thought of feeling anything like i did then does scare me.
I hope a few days after the surgery i will be well enough to write back on here saying it's over and  a fresh start is around the corner.

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Avatar universal
by ska4life1986, Apr 30, 2010
oh debbie my heart goes out to you , and what i have read is straight from your heart i wont tell you not to worry because i know thats imposible try and put your trust in the hands of the surgeons they are higly skilled and also hand this up to god and ask him to mind you i dont want to sound like a nun, i only pray when i am in trouble ,but since my own illness i did start to , i know that feeling of i wish i was an ostrich stick my head in the sand and it would go away, i think you must be a very strong person your after coming trew major surgery all ready so dont leave this bring you down i will say a prayer and ask god to wrap you in his blanket of love and mind you please keep posted and you will get support from this forum .

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by hdebbie7, Apr 30, 2010
Thankyou for your lovely reply ska4life 1986. Your words of comfort and prayers mean so much to me. I feel i have been getting everyones support on here and not given much back as yet, but hopefully soon i will be giving lots of people support and hope after next week. I ask my guardian angels everyday and know they will be there for me this time like they were last surgery last year. Take care and thankyou x

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by fungirl1011, Apr 30, 2010
I know how scary it is when your surgery is right around the corner.  I am nervous and my surgery is still a month away.  I know in my heart that you are going to come through this with flying colors.  I have been praying for all of you and I know God is hearing what I am asking for :-)
You need to do something that will take your mind off of your surgery for a few hours.  Go to a movie, go shopping, get a massage, get a pedicure, treat yourself like the queen that you are!!  You deserve to treat yourself to some TLC.  You are a very strong woman and I know that you are going to be back soon telling us all what a breeze it was.  We are here sending you hugs and prayers.  

Avatar universal
by ska4life1986, May 01, 2010
hi debbie hope your feeling better this evening i am lieing on the sofa watching britians got talent, looking out at the rain lol,hope you took fungirls advice and treated yourself to a bit of pampering as for me the belly is still getting on my nerves bought a new top and had to go up a size i taught when they took the dermoid out ,the belly would be gone ha only joking , debbie please keep posted you need support and you will get here i posted my fears on this forum because i pretend to my family and freinds that i wasent bothered ,i dident want them worrying ,so i could share it on this forum and get it off my cheast ,and that was a release for me ,hope you had a nice day 2day bye for now x

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by hdebbie7, May 01, 2010
Today 1st May 2010 , 5 more sleeps to surgery, thankyou ska4life for your support, i too have been watching Britains got talent and listening to the rain outside, sounds like ireland is very similar to Wales, cold wet and windy most of the time. Hope your belly goes down soon, it did take some time for mine to go down after last surgery, it does eventually. Im 12 mths on since then and my body is just starting to feel like it's getting back to normal other than the prob now , so major surgery does take it's time to get over. Im the same as you were, i cannot discuss my feelings with my family and friends as i dont want to worry them and seem a winning old so and so all the time, they have put up with me being like that for some time. This forum has given me great strength but it doesn't take away the worring does it. Well as i said before 5 more sleeps and the nervous energy is starting to bubble up inside me, i think the worst is being there before and knowing wat you are going to be going throug is the worst, but this time it's not knowing the complete outcome. Im praying every night and calling out to everything possible to give me strength through this and others in the same situation. Love and light to everybody theirs always somebody watching over us all x

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by hdebbie7, May 03, 2010
3rd May 2010, 3 more sleeps to surgery, not had a good day today, feeling very dizzy all the time, worring myself so much about thursday. The last few days i have not felt myself at all, dont know if it's anything or if it's just worring makeing me feel like this. I have been very tearful today and have been a bit hard on my family, well not hard but just said a few things that needed to be said, ive felt so pressured and pulled in every direction and i cant do it anymore, i told them that for once im thinking of me and they are all going to have to wait till im better because im putting myself first to deal with this at the moment. Got a big wedding that is in September (my eldest daughter) who lives in Mallorca and is getting married out there, it's very hard to help organize while i have this over me so i have told her today that i will be there for her when im better. Was suppose to have gone  shopping today with my other daughter for bridesmaid dresses but turned around , just could not do it, didn't have the energy and did not feel safe driving, to much going on in my head. Sorry this is so depressing , but it does help to write it all down. Hopefully will sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow.

Avatar universal
by ska4life1986, May 03, 2010
hi debbie sorry to hear ur not feeling good but dont beat yourself up you are under alot of pressure and yes we would all be guilty of snaping at our loved ones you are only human the wedding will be lovely for you something to focus on i am off myself to greece in a month sun and sand cant wait .

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by hdebbie7, May 03, 2010
Hi ska4life, i know you are right, we are all are only human. Just the ticket ah greece sounds lovely, hope you lap up all the lovely sun you deserve and pamper yourself, the best place to recooperate is in the sun. I did last year after my last surgery when i was up to it flew out to my daughters and stayed there for a few month's. You are so thoughtful with your post thankyou ska4lifex

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by fungirl1011, May 03, 2010
Hi Debbie.  I am so sorry that you are going through this.   Please don't every apologize for venting your feelings to us.  That is what we are here for.  The tearfulness is totally normal.  Part of it is the stress of knowing the surgery is 3 days away, and part of it is hormones rom your cyst.  I'm sure your family understands.  I too have been a bit bitchy to my family.  It is so hard to be in pain, yet act as through everything is ok.  I do not talk much about my upcoming surgery to my family either.  I am really scared that this time it is going to be cancer.  It is just different from all the other times.  I agree with ska4life that the wedding is going to be something great for you to concentrate on during your recovery.  It will help make your recovery go faster.  I don't know about you, but I think we need to sneak into Ska4life's suitcase and go to Greece with her!!  Sun and sand sounds awesome to me.  Please just know that I too am praying for you and here if you need to talk.  

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by hdebbie7, May 03, 2010
Hi fungirl, You all are so thoughtful, you are both right i know, you cant keep on hiding how you feel can you. Being the strong one all the time and trying to do everything for everybody takes its toll after a while and i think it's got to the point that i feel that i need some attention from them for a change. Like you  the thought of cancer is niggling at me all the time, and the thought of just going through surgery again scares me to death. When is your surgery, and have you had this surgery before? I agree lets sneak into ska4lifes suitcase and all have a paddle in the sea together and forget all this shall we. Thanks for your words of comfort and sorry im not giving much to you all. I do pray for you all every night and dont want to be a winger, as i know you all are suffering as well. take Care x

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by Gina3754, May 04, 2010
There sure are a lot of thoughtful and caring people on this web site.  I can't wait to get up each morning to see if someone has commented on one of my posts.  It is very comforting that many of us are going through the same surgeries and are able to vent feelings and fears to each other.  My surgery is in 13 days, so I know how you all feel.  I am praying for each and every one of you for a successful surgery and speedy recover.  Best Regards, Gina of Michigan USA.

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by hdebbie7, May 04, 2010
3rd May 2010, 2 more sleeps to surgery, kept myself really busy today, got so much done around the house that i know wont get done for along time again till im up to it, so  at least now i know it's done while i recover. I had some of my husbands family visit this evening to wish me well for thursday which was nice, as i do not have any family around me close by. I really dont understand why im feeling so scared for this surgery, been there done that but this time it's different, intuition tells me, it's hard to explain, i do get it wrong sometimes just hope this is the case this time, Well if i carry on babbling ill end up writing a essay , so lots of love to everyone who needs it tonight, and ill write my last count down tomorrow.

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by fungirl1011, May 04, 2010
Debbie, I think you feel different this time because of your surgery last year.  You kind of know what to expect this time around and it can be so SCARY!!  It is nice that you had come company tonight.  I'm sure it helped to take your mind off of stuff, if for only a little bit.  House cleaning is a really good thing to have done before your surgery.  If you are anything like me, you feel more down when the house is a mess.  I just want you to know that i am sending lots of prayers and love your way.  I may not be on much tomorrow as I am in Illinois right now visiting my family and then heading to Missouri on Thursday.  I will try very hard to post to you tomorrow, but if I am not able to, please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers on Thursday.  I'm glad you found this forum.  I think we are all going to be able to help and encourage each other.  Gina is next on the surgery list, so when we get you all healed, we will be doing this for Gina.  Then it will be my turn on June 8th.  I can't wait for that day to get here.  I know what you mean about intuition telling you something is different this time, because mine is too.  I have a strong feeling that this cyst my contain cancerous cells.  I really hate the waiting.  It is the worst part!!  Ok, now I'm the one babbling LOL.  I'm praying for you!!  Hugs and Love, Kasie

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by Gina3754, May 05, 2010
Kasie and Debbie, Yes, waiting is the worse thing.  Everytime I feel a twinge in my abdomen, I think is it cancer?  I am praying for both of you to have a very success surgery outcome.  You both have made me feel more content with my surgery as we all are going through the same or similar thing.  I did receive a message from my daughter's friend last night  and both her  mother and her grandmother had the open abdominal surgery last year and got through it with flying colors.  Both had the incision from above the belly button to the top of the pubic bone too.  Take comfort in this.  Please keep us updated.  Love to you both, Gina from Michigan.

Avatar universal
by ska4life1986, May 05, 2010
to kasie debbie and gina, fear can become a power greater then myself. i may not be able to fix it or make it go away.but today, with god who is greater than my fears, i dont have to let them run my life or make my choices for me. i can grab hold of gods hand , face my fears,and move through them.face all things we are powerless to change. today, instead of seeking relief from fear by trying to do battle with it ,i will turn to god. let go and let god teaches us to release problems that trouble us and confuse us, because we are not able to solve them by ourselves.x

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by Gina3754, May 05, 2010
Amen to that ska4life1986.  I will try better to give my fears to our loving God.  I need to remind myself that having faith the size of  a mustard seed can move mountains.  Hugs to you.

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by hdebbie7, May 05, 2010
Well my count down has come to an end, 5th may 2010, tonights the last night. Today i have felt both my parents who died suddenly within 6 mths of eachother 3 yrs ago ages 67 and 62 very very close to me, signs have been shown to me all day that they are close by. Ska4life you are such a strong woman and very sincere, faceing whats ahead is probably one of the hardest things we have to do in our short lifes but yes with gods hand holding ours it makes it so much easier.
I have packed my bag and done my roots (dont want them showing while im laid up ha ha) . Got to be up at 5am to be at the hospital for 7am, surgery at 8.30am. The hospital is one and a half hours away and thats our closest.
Well all thankyou for all your good wishes and support this past week or so you are all fantastic people. When im back at home ill come back online and support you all for your coming surgeries. Love & light to you all Debs xx

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by Gina3754, May 05, 2010
Love and peace to you Debbie.  We will be praying for you.  Gina

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by fungirl1011, May 05, 2010
I am so glad to see that you are all Godly women too. God is always with us. He will be with you tomorrow debbie holding your hand and guiding the surgeons hands. There is nothing that us too big for our Farher in Heaven!!  I can't wait to see your post read... Home from surgery and all is well!!
I am so thankful to God that I have met you wonderful women!! God brings people together for a reason, and I think ours is to support and encourage each other. I am going to be praying for you tomorrow Debbie and I already did to tonight. Prayers, hugs and love to all three of you.
Kasie

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by Gina3754, May 06, 2010
It took me forever to fall asleep last night because I was thinking and praying for Debbie.  I know the time difference between Michigan and Wales is either 6 or 7 hours and I imagined her waking up and getting ready for the ride to the hospital.  I am so looking forward to her next post.  God Speed, Love and Hugs to Debbie and Kasie.

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