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The end of a chapter

May 28, 2010 - 3 comments

So I have what is quite likely to be my final appointment with my specialist later today. I am expecting to be told there is nothing else that can be done for me at this time. I think the actual trip will be a waste of time but best to go I suppose. I am not yet a candidate for ankle/sub talar fusion, I would not want this done at this time anyway, it’s irrevesable as well and with the advances in medical procedures and stem cells I think it would be silly to have a fusion. Knowing my luck the week after I had it fused they would come out with a way to fix it!

At least if he says there is nothing else he can do surgically I will be able to get a referral to pain management, I have heard this is a great help. It’s just a bit though facing the prospect of being in pain and unable to walk properly for the rest of my life, but if that’s the way it is I will just have to learn to get on with it. On the upside it will be really good to know no more surgery the last 4 years have been though with 3 operations jammed into that time. I will have a bit of peace and some time to get on with my life. I just need to figure out exactly what it is I want to do! I think finishing the degree I started is out, too demanding physically. I think having a year finding my feet again and figuring out what I can and can’t do is best. It will take me a while to get back into working/student life probably will start off with a part time job and slowly build up from there.

It’s best not to get too far ahead in my thought process though, one day at a time and all that! Plus need to get today out of the way first, really not sure how I will react to being told there is nothing else to be done. I have known this day was coming and have thought it through. I am expecting to be a little sad and emotional. But who knows....

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483733 tn?1326798446
by TrudieC, May 28, 2010
Thinking of you and hope all goes well.  Good luck on your decison making too.

535822 tn?1443976780
by margypops, May 28, 2010
How did it go , have just read this hope its good news ...sometimes getting any news helps us as at least we have answers and will make a decison which way to go ...good luck let us know what he says ....marg

888132 tn?1304667943
by JHuxlet, Jun 01, 2010
It was as I  expected! Nothing else can be done at this time to make things better, I will at some point need either a full or partial fusion of the ankle joint and/or subtalar, also I am likely to need the joint of my big toe fused too, he is uncertian how long I have before this will be needed. The specialist is writing to my GP to say I need a referral to Pain managemt (SO Happy about this, I have been trying to get one for the last three years!) and that I should continue with **************. I guess I am happy about this, although I have a lot of conflicting emotions about it all. It kind of ***** that I will always be in pain and stuff. The specialist said that the pain mangement clincs/courses really help people a lot so that is encouraging I guess. I am not quite sure how I feel knowing that the pain/lack of movement will only get worse over time, I think I am struggling a bit with this concept, I had the 'comfort blanket of hope' that surgery would fix me for years and now that is gone. It will certainly be nice not to have surgery for a few years (fingers crossed) kind of had enough of that kind of thing! Also I am not keen on being on meds for at least the next few years but I guess if they give me a better quality of life then it's a good thing.

I need to spend some time getting used to the idea that my foot/ankle problems are a keeper, then I will get on with planning my life. I am moving out of parents and getting a place with my girlfriend in the next couple of months so have that to look forward too even though I am sure the actual move will be stressful! She lives in a bigger city so there will be more oppurtuinity for work, social life etc, so once I am settled things should get better!

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