May 28, 2010
So I have what is quite likely to be my final appointment with my specialist later today. I am expecting to be told there is nothing else that can be done for me at this time. I think the actual trip will be a waste of time but best to go I suppose. I am not yet a candidate for ankle/sub talar fusion, I would not want this done at this time anyway, it’s irrevesable as well and with the advances in medical procedures and stem cells I think it would be silly to have a fusion. Knowing my luck the week after I had it fused they would come out with a way to fix it!
At least if he says there is nothing else he can do surgically I will be able to get a referral to pain management, I have heard this is a great help. It’s just a bit though facing the prospect of being in pain and unable to walk properly for the rest of my life, but if that’s the way it is I will just have to learn to get on with it. On the upside it will be really good to know no more surgery the last 4 years have been though with 3 operations jammed into that time. I will have a bit of peace and some time to get on with my life. I just need to figure out exactly what it is I want to do! I think finishing the degree I started is out, too demanding physically. I think having a year finding my feet again and figuring out what I can and can’t do is best. It will take me a while to get back into working/student life probably will start off with a part time job and slowly build up from there.
It’s best not to get too far ahead in my thought process though, one day at a time and all that! Plus need to get today out of the way first, really not sure how I will react to being told there is nothing else to be done. I have known this day was coming and have thought it through. I am expecting to be a little sad and emotional. But who knows....