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3 step process to starting to befriend

Jun 28, 2016 - 0 comments

I was told in the book 'befriend your ex after a divorce' that I should try the 3 step process to learn a positive change I can make to initiate a befriending relationship with my ex and the father of my two kids.
So first step is to write out my liabilities and my assets of this relationship
Liabilities
- i am liable for the lazyness I contributed in the marriage when I didn't properly take care of domestic chores  like I was able to do which made the marriage full of conflict
- i am liable for the not contributing financially to the marriage and draining finances because I would buy for myself instead of the family
- i am liable for my attitude. Saying comments of the top of my head instead of filtering myself and rephrasing things before I voice my opinion.
Strengths
-I am strong in this marriage because I am the one who is more fimiliar with the language and culture of the society we are raising our kids in and I can offer to help out more by translating school documents for my ex
- I am a motivated worker. I discovered this year how much I love making money at my current job and spending it on my family. I can help out by paying child support regularly even though I can't afford the full amount. I can pay what I can afford.
- I am a creative, positive mother. I can help out by teaching the kids via facebook and recorded videos different crafts, skills and techniques like drawing, painting, writing.

Today what I can do is go to the bank and make my payment to my ex even thought that means I will have to be very frugal for a few days until I get my paycheck. Then I can come home and make a video for my son and daughter to teach them how to make a paper airplane. I can ask my exhusband on the telephone to send me any documents he recieved for the kids so I can translate them for him.

Those are my steps today toward befriending my ex in this coparenting relationship.

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