Jun 12, 2010
I admit it - I am a POAS-a-holic. I freely admit it to anyone who can possibly listen. I am ok with it. I have an addiction to them. They are like speed or something to me! I will admit (not without horrible shame) that I have been POAS since 5dpiui. Bad huh? Sometimes TWICE a day! Sick huh? I want this so bad! AFter 5 years and two m/c, I think it is my time. Please God - let this be my time.
I got a faint line! 2 faint lines - 3 if you count the one from this morning. (Told you - I have a sickness!) I peed in a cup (as I always do) after holding my pee for a good 4 hrs or so. I hate FU - all the other tests I have gotten anything on, it was evening pee. Anyway, I peed in a cup and did a $ tree (which I always use until about 9-10dpo (I am 11dpIUI now) and saw a faint faint line in the allowed time frame (cuz Lord knows I will satre at the things for hours afterwards just praying to see SOMETHING!), so I took some of the same pee and did an answer test. LINE! Super faint, but pink. Hubby saw it but isn't getting too excited - weirdly enough, neither am I (too many things have gone wrong over the last 5 years). So, I got my line - though it is so faint, it isn't even funny! But it is pink and it is there BY GOD!
HOLY POO! Now - here is my dilemma: I finally talked my RE (who is pushing 100) to give me Lovenox. He said not until i get a + test can I start it (he believes the homozygous MTHFR I just found out I have has nothing to do with our loses ad believes the whole MTHFR is a crock of poo). I heard they hurt like heck and am in no RUSH to give them to myself (needles don't bother me but man I hate the liquid that hurts!) but I got a line! Hubby said he doesn't want me to use that stuff until we have a definate line. He isn't too happy with it because he knows there could be problems associated with the Lovenox (very few I have read). So, I wanna run in the bathroom and stick the Lovenox in there and hubby wants to wait...uhhhhhh, confused! So...what do I do? Anyone use Lovenox early on? Do you think it helped? I need some help here ladies!! :)
God, please, please, please, please let this one stick. I can't go through anymore losses.
Funny thing is: I had my now infamous "nervous breakdown" last night. I ALWAYS get it the day or so before I find out it worked (see, I can't even say I am pregnant - I just can't!). I was actually laughing in the shower last night after my episode. I have had one with every BFP and with my DD (who is almost 11). It is the one sign that I can count on!!! My nervous breakdown usually consists of crying, yelling, b*tching, crying some more and just being angry for about 20-30 mins. Then I am fine!! It comes outta nowhere...I think hubby suspected last night when I freaked a bit :) hahaha - sorry to ramble...My mind is going a mile a minute!