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A person who lives in Chronic Pain

Aug 22, 2010 - 3 comments

Chronic Pain



I was a very out going person even thou i was in a wheelchair i could cook ,clean house . I could do anything you could do just a diffrent way .I got married had a kid in wheelchair was a very happy person and was in Love with my husband i loved my life until i hurt my back and had surgery oh boy then things went bad wrong i started having the most awful pain everyday ,when i go to the store i never know how long i have in the store because of the pain . I never know when i can go somewhere i can't make plans due to i just never know most of the time i do know i can't go know where but bed what a place to be . I get to where i hate the bed it post to be a place u go to sleep at night but its a place i live . My husband thinks i don't love him but he is so wrong i love him .I can make him understand its not him the reason i push him away its because the pain so bad. He started drinking like 5 years ago due to me pushing him away which makes me feel like its my fault .I do make love to him once in a while but grit my teeth because it hurts me so bad . My pain tell me what to do it control me it tells me when to get up and when to go to bed and when to eat because sometimes i am hurting and can't eat . I have a daughter 21 half of her life i couldn't be the mother i wanted to be. I love my family and i know they just don't know how bad the pain is . I take strong pain meds 80 mg oxycontin 2 a day which i hate them because they make me sleepy and make me feel like crap . I will write more later gotta go because of guess what PAIN !!!!!!! Please pray for me and my family.

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Avatar universal
by confused_42164, Aug 22, 2010

  You seem so genuine and sincere I just had to answer you. I also live in Chronic pain, not to your degree, but must take a narcotic most of the time to feel like I can even function (otherwise all I would be able to think about would be the pain. I could be talking to someone and my mind only focus on the pain). It has effected many areas of my life, including my sex life. I tend to be verbal about it sometimes and then not so much others. I know that my husband has a physical need even when I am not feeling up to it (this is not to say that he has EVER been verbal about this, he is kind and caring), so I do my best to address him as a whole person. I have never had any hangups in the bedroom, I am an anything goes kind of person with him (it's easy when you care that much), so we do things that will pleasure him and not hurt me to do when the pain is too much.
For those of you reading this, thinking it is insane to want to pleasure a man when you are in pain, or that my man is insensitive, well I got one thing to say. YOU DON'T CARE ENOUGH. If the situation was reversed, you would find that man wonderful and caring to do things for you even when they couldn't and I got news for you, when you care deep down about someone, bringing them sexual pleasure brings you pleasure. It gives me a sense of completeness to see my man have pleasure and be satisfied. I like to hear his thoughts and let him show me things. BUT, I am not saying a man should order you around (unless you are into nothing wrong with that), it's a mutual thing.

   The drinking problem is not your problem in and of itself, this is his problem and you must address it that way. Yes, it is possible that he started drinking to escape what happened to you, but that is because he did not deal with the actual problem and get through it. There is no question about it, you need family counseling to address your pain issues and how it effects your everyday life. I say family because these issues are yours together, and sometimes it just helps to have a mediator bring forth the best and worse feelings to find solutions to deal with them.

   I do hope they have you on some non-narcotic pain medicine too. The OXY is harsh med and it just means you have no where to go but stronger, and that is the real problem there.  I am not saying you don't need that, but if there was anyway in hell to sub some stuff that would be good. It is hard to do that, because your mind also wants that along with your body (whether you are an addict or not, the body is dependent). The other problems with narcotics (and I have had these myself) is you can't make somethings worse. Constipation for example makes increased pain in the back and it's a side effect, irritability and tiredness can lead to you acting like someone else.

Good Luck to You!

    Here are some things I would try to help with the pain itself. CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE DOING ANY OF THESE. Start eating bananas daily, something green daily, drink cherry juice daily, and start loading up on good vitamins. B-100, Fish Oil and such. Lots and lots of water. Stool softener (not laxative) Caffiene in moderation, but do not exclude it from your diet because it helps.  Two aspirin everyday.

Avatar universal
by confused_42164, Aug 22, 2010
oops.. I meant you CAN make some things worse

1420847 tn?1289326502
by quirkey, Aug 22, 2010
this is a sympathtic message from quirkey  I am not in chronic pain but I am in constant pain which is the residual from mu Guillian Barrie Syndrom(The body strips the outsides  of the nerves and leaves the nerves bare)  I was in hospital 3months learning to walk again, since then  there id hardly a pair of shoes I can wear even with shoes of my feet are in constant  pain the minute I put feet on floor my hands are in pain 24hr especially right which is now deformed, I type with it and write slowly and eligable but I will not give up.  I have so much else wrong that pain is second nature it is constant, unlike yours which is chronic I dont know if I could bear that

May Archangel Michael smile upon you

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