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The End

Jan 04, 2008 - 15 comments





renal failure



Chica is gone as of 5:45 this evening.  This day has gone on much longer than it should have.  As of yesterday, I was prepared for the end of Chica's life, but my husband remained unconvinced.  "Let's wait until this afternoon to make the call."  As if that would make any difference.  It was Chica's time, and I was not prepared to allow her to suffer one moment more than necessary.  

While Hubby was out of the house on a business call, Chica became more lucid and decided she had to take one more trip outside.  Going through the dog door was out of the question, so I opened the back door and went out with her.  Although at death's door, Chica wasn't about to forget her early house training no matter how weak and sick she was.  Going pee wasn't too difficult, but the poor dog had diarrhea and her legs just gave out on her.  She collapsed right into the pile.  The Chica of Old would have been horrified and immediately rectified the matter.  This time, she finally got to her feet and just stood there with her head down and waited while I cleaned her up.  That event finally convinced Hubby that we needed to help Chica by assisting in her exit from this life.

At 4:15 I gave Chica the vet-prescribed tranquilizers that were supposed to be for a dog more than double her weight.  Just as we feared, it wasn't quite enough.  Chica has given 110% to every event in her life, and although her mind was willing, her flesh was weak.  The tranquilizers made her very drowsy, but she was still more lucid than we cared for.  I finally resorted to giving her some of my own nausea medication, phenergan, because it also has a tranquilizing effect.  After another 15 minutes, she was stoned enough that we felt comfortable to take her on her final journey.

We had to wait a while for the vet to finish up with his last two clients before we brought Chica in to the surgery.  I spent the time in the car petting her and talking to her.  Finally, it was time to bring her in.  The staff had the table warmed up for her, and I'm convinced that she really didn't have a clue where she was by then.  Dr. Smith came in and quietly administered the final shot that stopped her heart.  Peace, at last.  Chica will never have to be sick, nauseated and vomiting ever again.  The end was just... peaceful.  No trauma whatsoever.

In a way, I almost feel guilty for being glad Chica is gone.  For the past three months my life has revolved around Chica, her medications, her diet and her general state of comfort.  Honestly, I didn't realize until today exactly how much time I've spent dealing with her every changing symptom and need.  Anyone dealing with a chronic illness, whether in a human or an animal, knows how it eventually overwhelms every waking or sleeping moment.  I have prayed every night for weeks that Chica would go quietly in her sleep, but that wasn't in her character.  She needed our help, and we gave it to her.

We critter lovers are a special breed of human being.  We take animals into our homes and into our hearts knowing that we will likely outlive them; yet, we continue to include them in our lives in spite of the heartache that always awaits.  Not everyone is willing or capable of doing so.  Chica had nearly 14 years of a fabulous life with us.  She taught us more about dogs than any dog we've ever known.  She was a constant challenge, but she lived life to its fullest measure of enjoyment.  We can all learn something from her example.

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195500 tn?1257427532
by ea_poe, Jan 04, 2008
I'm sorry to read about your loss. Clearly though, you gave her a great life and for that you should be happy.

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by utahmomma, Jan 04, 2008
Jaybay.  I'm so very sorry that you had to say goodbye.  I would have posted earlier but I had my Sr. dachshund at the vet - twice tonight.  I was almost in tears the 2nd time because it reminded me so much about Buster's last trip to the vet last month.  Thank god it wasn't Sienna's time but it brought back all of those memories and the pain.

You gave her a wonderful life and more love than she probably ever thought she could have before meeting you.  The world is a better place because of the love that you gave to her.

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by chigirl29, Jan 05, 2008
I'm sorry about Chica.  Please take care.

172023 tn?1334672284
by peekawho, Jan 05, 2008
I'm so very sorry to read this, but so glad that Chica is at rest and not suffering any longer.  My thoughts are with you and your husband.  I'm in tears for your pain and loss.  

I hope you and your husband can grieve and heal, remembering Chica with love and humor.  She had a wonderful life with you, and don't ever forget that.

Avatar universal
by xXxangelxXx, Jan 05, 2008
Aw Im in tears. Poor Chica I hope  she will be happy resting now. Take care xXx

274158 tn?1276347187
by Fourpaws, Jan 05, 2008
I am sorry, that's all I can say right now. Stay strong and I will talk to you soon.

Avatar universal
by JoyRenee, Jan 06, 2008
My dog had Parvo, is this what Chica had? So sorry for your loss! I remember when my dog acted like that (my dog is young and pulled through) and I thought she was going to die. It is SO SAD to see them like that, so helpless, so sick! I'm so sorry you had to go through this! HUGS!

177465 tn?1288238463
by rubyolivia, Jan 06, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss! :*( They really become your family members and it's so hard!! I'm glad that her suffering is over, though, and that she was given such a great life when she was with you! ((Hugs))

Avatar universal
by dove1980, Jan 06, 2008
I'm so sorry for ur loss...but find solace in  knowing that nuthin can trouble her pain, desease or unhappiness...she's happily playing with butterflies now under da rainbow and she'll be always there for u...and whenever she remembers u she'll only have happy thoughts as u guys gave her such a wonderful life and companionship!

Avatar universal
by Twilight_Princess, Jan 06, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story pulled at my heart strings. I went through the same thing with my dog Daisy back in December 2001. She was 15 years old. Chica is at peace now and in no more pain. Someday you will see her again. Just think of the wonderful memories she has given you. You were a wonderful *Momma*

Take care - *Hugs*

242516 tn?1368223905
by Enoch Choi, MDBlank, Jan 07, 2008
God bless you, what a touching story.  You'll see her again in heaven...

Avatar universal
by suzi-q, Jan 07, 2008
What a beautiful Eulogy for Chica...I want to say THANK YOU for it, because you verbalized many things that I haven't been able to say about my beloved Tiffany....maybe they are together.....God bless.

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by Sickboy61, Jan 07, 2008
I should not have read this at work, it makes me want to cry like a baby...

I'm sorry for your loss, and God bless...

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by Jaybay, Jan 08, 2008
My grateful, heartfelt thanks to everyone who read and commented.  I am truly touched and blessed with the support of friends both in and out of cyberspace.  Thank you.  :-)

Avatar universal
by GingersMommy, Jan 09, 2008
I am so sorry for your loss.  No one who hasn't been through it can really understand how it feels to lose a pet, especially to have to make that decision yourself.  I'm glad you were strong enough to make that hard decision to give her one last gift - a calm and peaceful end.  This was a lovely memorial to her, she was lucky to have you by her side in life.

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