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Brandons friend commited suicide

Aug 31, 2010 - 14 comments

This poor sweet child, never appeared to have problems, musta internalised all of them. He was in many of Brandons ( my middle son just turned 17) classes. He had been to my home on occasion.

3 days ago he was out at night apparently alone had gotten ahold of some booze and a few xanax...never a good combination....he was sitting in a ditch near the highway, waited till a semi truck came by and jumped in front of it.

What a tragic much help is available yet these youngesters dont know it or they magnify problems,,,like maybe an example getting caught smoking by parents, or bad grades,,think its the end of the world or too much to one seems to know why this boy did this.

My son is going to his funeral today..he feels bad, angry and sad...also hes a bit embarrassed because he has no dress close...I told him God doesnt mind what people wear to his home...his nicest jeans and a nice polo will be fine.Brandon has a few buddies going with him, which I am glad of,, asked if he wanted me to go he said no, he is becoming a young adult so I respect this,,I did not really know the kid,,,just one of the many who had been to my home.

My heart goes out to his family, I cannot even imajine.

Random but do you all think people who commit suicide go to hell? My pastor discussed this once as we had a member of our congregation commit suicide...he said he thought not , as it is linked to mental illness,,,,but the Bible says other wise doesnt it?

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377493 tn?1356502149
by adgal, Aug 31, 2010
It is so tragic when anyone takes their own life, but someone so young with so much life ahead of them.  Even more tragic.  I often think that young people do not quite grasp the concept of "forever".  They may have a bad fight with their parents over somthing, and instead of thinking "if I take my life I am gone forever", they think..."boy, won't they be sorry and will never be mean to me again" type thing. They don't see death as forever.  I am so sorry for your and your son's loss.

No, I do not believe those that take their own life go to Hell.  I believe our God is a loving and gentle God and understands his children sometimes make bad decisions.  I don't believe he punishes in every instance...I believe he understands and is kind.  I believe he doesn't just judge the act, I believe he looks at the motive.  Clearly this young man was hurting badly and perhaps there was a mental illness...drugs can and do often bring on a temporary mental illness if you will.

I know the Bible say's otherwise.  I may get blasted for this, but in my opinion the Bible was written by man through God's lessons.  God is perfect, man is not nor ever has been.  So I do believe sometimes His intent has been misconstrued.  Just my personal opinion...I know others feel differently.

I wish this young man's family and friends peace and healing.  This will not be an easy road for them.  

203342 tn?1328737207
by April2, Aug 31, 2010
How sad! I hate to hear when a young person takes their life. ;(
We had a friend who's daughter committed suicide several years ago at the age of 15. She loved Jesus but suffered from depression and her parents had gotten her help in the past for that. It was devastating for all of us because she was so sweet and giving, such a terrible tragedy.
Her mother struggled with where her daughter went, wanting to believe she was in heaven with the Lord she loved. I, and others tried to reassure her that she was indeed with the Lord.
I agree with Adgal. God created all of us, right? They've discovered that teenage brains are not fully developed until they are in their early twenties. You know the last part to develop? The frontal lobe. That's the area where we make decisions, hence why teenagers tend to act impulsive and make dumb choices at times. It sounds like an excuse and I don't mean it to but it's true that they are still learning and growing and act impulsive. They make choices they wouldn't normally make if they were older. So, anyway, wouldn't you think God would know that? After all, He created us and so He should know that a teenager's brain is not fully developed. Therefore, I believe children (including teenagers) are not held to the same degree of responsibility as adults are. According to the bible, God considers age of accountability to be 20 years old. That's the age He allowed to go to war. Anyone under that was still considered a child. So, it appears He considers adults to be age 20 and up.
I also believe He takes into account mental illness. If the God of the universe was brilliant enough to come up with the breathtaking creation, wouldn't He understand the very creation He has made? I don't think we give Him near enough credit.
Our God is a merciful god and loves us more than we can possibly imagine. He just wants us to place our trust in Him. I do think it grieves Him when we won't do that but He still loves us.

Make sure you talk to Brandon about all of this. He shouldn't keep all these emotions bottled up. Let him vent if he wants to. It's normal for him to feel angry, sad, confused, etc. Let him express it all and just be there for him.
Try and be there for the family, even if just sending a note saying you're praying for the family. This family will be suffering for some time and will appreciate any small gestures of kindess, even if they aren't able to express that right away.

My prayers are with this family and also yours, Cherie. God bless you all.

Avatar universal
by sydmia555, Aug 31, 2010
My thoughts are with you.  

547913 tn?1317355667
by jimi1822, Aug 31, 2010
Sooo sorry to hear this, It makes me sad to know some of Our children are in such despair to even think about taking GOD's most precious gift "Life" to us away: ( April, I am a little unorthodox to say the least as we all know. I personally think that GOD Our Father knows when a child is in despair and compromised by drugs and alcohol so therefore HE forgives just as HIS Son Does ~ John 3:17 . I truly Believe this dear Child is in Heaven and I will keep Him in my Heart felt prayers and light a candle of Special intent tomorrow as I often stop in Church on wednesday to say prayers and light candles.

                      He Sent His "Begotten" (One In Being With Our FATHER) Son Jesus To Save The World!!!!

                                   For GOD Did Not Send HIS Son Into The World To Condemn The World,
                                              But To SAVE The World through Him InDeed.

                                                                                                                               ~ John 3:17

Avatar universal
by remar, Sep 01, 2010
This is so tragic. I can't even imagine what his family and friends are going through right now. My nephews 19 year old brother in law committed suicide about a month ago. This is something a parent will never get over. I agree with Jimi. I believe too that this child is in heaven. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends. Big hugs to you my friend. Corena

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by blunik, Sep 01, 2010
I don't think people who commit suicide go to hell. I believe God gets what's going on for someone to get to that point and I think there are a lot more important things that would affect whether a person goes to hell or not. BUt that's a fairly philosophical question, and I'm just glad I don't have to make that decision about a person.

599170 tn?1300973893
by Cherie762, Sep 01, 2010
Brandon said yesterday the funeral home was packed from front to back,,,sad thing I did not know is this child was the only child, my heart breaks for his parents..although school has yet to start almost all staff was there, what a wonderful out pouring of support and love.

they had a candle light vigil near the spot where the child died of course it wasnt in exact spot as it was on a highway.

thanks all for your responces

518031 tn?1295575374
by jollyman069, Sep 01, 2010
Cheri...I am so puter was down for several days.. I will be praying that GOD showers peace nd comfort down om Brandon..I know Autymn, when she was a senior had a couple of her friends take thier own is such a sad thing when a young person feels that this will be the best thing for them...Cheri..I truley believe this is satan running loose doing what he does best, stel, kill and destroy, and he is going after our young ppl at alarming rates...if there is anything that I can do message me or better yet call me you have my cell ya bff..brian

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by rebel5, Sep 02, 2010
oh wow praying for you all and the boys family much love to you xoxox

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by gator145, Sep 06, 2010
Hello Cherie,
I have a hard time getting on here any more but I do think of you quite often. Please forgive me..

It is always a tragedy when someone takes their own life...... When it hapens to a youngster it somehow compounds the hurt dramaticaly....... It is a very sad time for those that would have helped had they only known the pain this young man was in....,. For those that knew him and loved him there is a deep sense of sadness and emptiness and loss now that he is gone....... There is a great sense of confusion for all of us that wonder how we can avoid this from happening to another child or adult for that matter.......Know that  you and Brandon are not alone in your pain and sense of loss........When one of us hurts so do the rest of us.......

You asked : "Random but do you all think people who commit suicide go to hell?"
The Great Creator knows the tormented , hurting, confused etc. My belief is that those that live painful tormented lives will have peace on the last day...............
Remember, no person was put on this earth to go to hell...... We are all here to love and care for one another...... There is a lesson to be learned from this tragedy..... In time that lesson will be revealed.........
My prayers for peace to you and the childs family........Gator

719902 tn?1334165183
by jenkaye21, Sep 06, 2010
Oh gosh, that so unbelieveably tragic.  I have spent years wondering whether someone who commits suicide goes to hell, since my brother's friend committed suicide at age 15 (I was 12).  I have heard various speakers and Bible scholars speak on this topic.  MOST say-- and I agree-- that committing suicide is like any other sin; forgivable.  If a Christian tells a lie, or steals, commits adultery or whatever, and dies before they confess and repent of this sin, I do not believe they will go to hell.  Likewise with suicide.  If the person is/was a CHristian, s/he will go to heaven.  They will be acountable for their sins, yes, like anyone, but I do believe they can go to heaven.  It kinda gets into that "Once a Christian, always a Christian??" topic, which is soooo tough to understand.

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by teko, Sep 06, 2010
Well, lets just say that God looks upon the heart. What a tragic thing for not only this young man, but all that knew and loved him! I dont know what makes young people do these things, maybe they do not realize what the combination of drugs and alcohol will do. I have a friend that has had something similar happen in their home. Again involving drugs and alcohol. My heart goes out to the family and your son as well. How does anyone make sense of such a senseless tragedy! My prayers are with you all. So Sad...

483733 tn?1326798446
by TrudieC, Sep 06, 2010
So sad and senseless.  I believe as others do that God understands and embraces these troubled souls.

Use this as a learning opportunity for your son.  Find ways to discuss his feelings and better ways to deal with setbacks in our lives.  When my son was 16 a close family friend whom he though a lot of committed suicide.  His wife had left him and he could not deal with the pain.  As sad as this is it did give me the opportunity to ensure my son learned how awful those left behind can feel and how to find other ways to deal with the bad stuff that happens in everyone's lives.

My heart goes out to this boy's family and friends and to the unfortunate truck driver who will be forever haunted by this incident.

Avatar universal
by henning, Sep 07, 2010
No, I dont believe that a person goes to hell for committing suicide. I also believe that suicide, like any form of death whether it comes from cancer, car accident or proposely is that individuals destiny, their way to die. Some choose to commit suicide and accomplish it, others try and fail. Does anyone know what a person feels when they do try to commit suicide, no. We only try to understand or speculate what that individual may have been feeling and maybe those who accomplish it isnt what we really think they were feeling. We just dont know and shouldnt judge or talk. We dont even know our own destiny, that is up to God and how he takes us from this world whether we approve or disapprove is His choice. My condolences to the family.

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