Aug 31, 2010
The Basis For Emotional Security
So many people misunderstand their basis for emotional security. Say for example, that something bad happens, they then blame the event for their subsequent emotions. But really their reaction was determined a long time before the event.
The events and emotions that we experience are the culmination of a long series of thoughts and decisions. It is our thoughts and decisions long before the event that determines our reaction to what actually happens. Here's one way of looking at this...
Do you remember the story of the three little pigs? You know the one where the three pigs go off and build their own houses.
One is in a rush and quickly built a house out of straw. The second built a house from wood and the third takes his time to build a solid home from bricks.
Then the big bad Wolf blows down the first two pigs house’s because they never spent the time to get the foundations right. But because the third one prepared his properly, he was safe from the Wolf.
This relates to the way that we set up our lives.
Just as the first little pig built his house from straw, many people base their life around one thing such as work or a relationship. But the problem with this is that if something catastrophic happens to that thing the individual’s life will come crashing down. What do you do when your purpose for living has gone?
The second little pig bases her life on a number of pillars, such as family, work, hobbies and so on. They may have a Partner, children, work, hobbies, friends and so on. The danger is that they are still being supported or propped up by things external to them.
I have come across people who have led what most would call a balanced and healthy life. They had many interests and a wide ‘support network’. Unfortunately sometimes a sequence of events or even rarely a single event has taken away all the pillars that were holding up their life. This is going to cause the individual to feel somewhere from depressed to suicidal.
And most people would say that they were entitled to feel that way. The question is do you want the quality of your life determined by what happens to you? Or do you want to become the Author of your own life?
Life always will throw up situations and obstacles to block what you think you want. You can either, as most people do, become frustrated, bitter, angry or disillusioned. Or from this minute forward… you can determine to live a life of passion, excitement and joy regardless of what life throws at you.
This is what the third little pig chose. When there was no danger and no reason to put in any more than minimal effort, he did. As a result he was prepared and immune to the threat of the big bad wolf.
Your choice is to put in as little effort as you need to now? Or to prepare yourself for what life is about to throw at you, so that when it comes it doesn’t effect you?
If you choose to prepare yourself and use the third little pig’s strategy, you'll create emotional security.