Sep 03, 2010
"Have you used a condom?". A question I have been asked a lot lately and "Yes I did" is always my answer.
Naturaly I get the "Oh man you're fine", "You do not need testing", "Sigh my friend, I was afraid you did not use one".
But all this assurance could not ease my mind so, a test is what is needed to calm me down and close this page of my life.
I went to a doctor for anonymous testing and guess what, he asked me if I used a condom : ). I said yes. He asked if it was broken. I answered: No. He was just trying to figure out why do I want to test if I used a condom.
He took blood from my thumb, put it on the testing kit and .. it's a positive one. He said you 've got 2 lines although it's a faint one.
He tested with another kit and told me if this one is also positive then, most propably you are.
God had mercy on me and it was negative. So with a bit of courage I asked to redo the test using the first brand (Why did I do that !??) and it was again, positive with faint lines. Dr said fainter than the first one. and then he started a scary movie about I am most propably infected.
Crushed, I went to my home and had the most awful night in my life yet.
Next day, I went to health ministry labs, and asked for a western blot. A good Dr there told not to do so as it will not be anonymous and may cause me some problems and guided me to an HIV Counseling and Testing facility where I will not be asked for any personal information and they will run all tests (rapid, ELISA, WB) as needed for free and will provide counseling pre and post testing.
Sadly, They were not open on sunday. I went on Monday and while I was waiting outside, there was a couple in there both crying. My heart felt to the ground.
I went in there, she was a very nice doc, couseling was nice, I already knew everything about HIV, and I got tears in my eyes the whole time.
2-3 days and I will get my results. Oh God! All I am asking for is a second chance.