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Need some support!

Sep 22, 2010 - 3 comments

My baby is here now and he is such a blessing....such a good baby, I get atleast 4-5hrs of sleep a night if not 7!!!!! Wow, What can i say, some mothers are pulling their hair out right now, so I cant complain at all.

My therapist found another job, and I can't see her anymore :(  So Im really disappointed and am gonna miss her. She helped me sooo soo much. With that  is my issue.

I did not go around my family for the 9 mos that I was pregnant, alot of the reason they THINK is because of my BF but really it was my ANXIETY/PANIC attacks that I get, I went off my meds and all so I wanted to do what was best for my son, social situations ESPECIALLY my family get me really panicky, I remember one easter (before finding help & getting on meds) I would drink a glass of wine before a family occassion.  

Just a quick background on my family...they all like to drink and put everyone down, me and my mom were always treated like CRAP. They always denied my mom had medical problems until now! AFTER she lost TOO much wait and can barely walk without someone holding on to her. NO ONE in my family knew about my anxiety because I knew it was just be a waste of breath and energy to explain. SO I always hid it with alcohol or meds.

ALL of a sudden I stop coming around and my uncle invites my mom over for dinner every once in awhile....WOW. What a shocker.....we  always had some sort of money troubles and rather than helping us out we would have to clean his dirty *** house and he'd pay us.......NOT ONLY THAT. BUT all FOUR of my moms brothers are contractors and they built a home for nothing for someone they went to school with that ended up in a wheelchair yet they say "POOR (MY moms name" And look at her as if nothing is wrong when its smack dead in their face.

Anyway. During my pregnancy I called up my grandmother (After ignoring many of her phone calls and texts) And said it has NOTHING to do with my BF why I havent come around, I said I have REALLY BAD Panic attacks and anxiety her response was very nonchulant(sp?) OHHH WELLL you just have to get over it, breath and count to 5. think of something positive. ALLS Icould do was yes her to death because I knew I would be wasting my breath.

SOOOO Towards the end of my pregnancy my mom told my grandma that I have anxiety and she just doesnt get it she says well we're family (YET NONE of them know me)
THEN, My the same uncle says "WHAT does she expect us to come around when the baby is here?"

We plan on having a christening for my son at a hall..... I just talked to my cousin over the phone yesterday and she said that my uncle said "HE NEVER GOT THE INVITE" BUT THENN My BF mom just got the RSVP from my uncle's GIRLFRIEND saying they cant make it. DOES HE NOT HAVE ANY BALLS. I get the fact that he's hurt or whatever, but come to me as a MAN, an UNCLE, A GODFATHER!!!!!!!!!! NOPE he wants to be a coward.


Well, atleast he made an effort.......

THE THING NOW IS....There will be a birthday party for my lil cousin in OCT. the Christening is in NOV.

I know if I go to the bday party and things arre awkward none of them will come to the christening.....but if I skip the parrrty and see who comes to the christening....that will tell me who to keep around and who to keep out of my life?????? WHAT YOU THINK?

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404138 tn?1308941656
by AnxiousGurl, Sep 23, 2010
anyone? what would you do....would you go to the bday party.....or skip and see who comes to the christening???

676912 tn?1332812551
by smjmekg, Sep 23, 2010
I would do both. If you go to the party and happen to have tension around any one person, you know that it's probably gonna be the same at the Christening. You could be the adult at the part and walk away from it, or leave a little early...but at the Christening you don't want it ruined or to have problems...

404138 tn?1308941656
by AnxiousGurl, Sep 23, 2010
I was thinking the same just go to the party and if its that awkward leave...because I DONT have to stay...........I was thinking maybe I should confront him.

But I know my family when they drink...and if my BF goes because we are a family now.....and my uncle says something BF wont keep his mouth shut any longer (MY grandma has called him names before and he just let it go).....Im just worried a fight might break out I guess......BUT That would be the worst case scenario I guess thats whats getting to me....Ive stayed away this long whats another party...but at the same time....maybe it will be a good warm up....

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