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13 dpo

Oct 05, 2010 - 8 comments

13 dpo

So I gave in and tested yesterday at 12dpo. It was a BFN. I have pains and signs every now and then that AF is on the way but the other months was way more obvious to me than it is this month. This has been a long hard journey and Im so close to just giving up. Me and my fiance are not getting along lately and I feel like this whole ttc thing has a lot to do with it even though he wont admitt it. Im really thinking it may be over between us. We just cant seem to get along and he says little things that hurts my feelings then he cant understand why Im hurt. The things he says has nothing to do with tcc but other things like he is an entertainer and he has a show coming this Thursday he told me he didint want me to come and that hurt more than anything I can remember. I cried myself to sleep thinking about that and he doesnt know that. I just feel like we are drifting apart and I cant deal with a break up and another BFN. Maybe God is showing me that he doesnt really want me to have a baby by my fiance IDK. I just have to pray really hard on this one and ask God to show me the path he wants me to take and that i am obedient enough to take that path even if its not what I want. Im just getting older and I really dont feel like I have time to meet another man fall in love get married and still go thru TTC. What do I do???? Well good luck to everyone and SSBD! God bless

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1121300 tn?1426184776
by sherrycoup, Oct 05, 2010
I am right there with you on the husband thing. My hubby and I argue non stop now about anything and everything. We have a 5 yr old (which I had by fluke) as I have pcos which i didn't know until after a year of trying for # 2.  Its now been 1 1/2 years of trying and Im not sure i want to stick things out with him.  I keep asking myself if im happy.  We've been together 6 years and married for 3.   Honestly I would say work on your relationship with him before having a child with him in case you end up being a single parent(which isn't a  bad thing either - just be prepared.)   I would sit down and talk to him about it.  Maybe it will answer alot of questions you have  On another note:   you still tested a little early.  Wait a few more days and retest.  How are your temps?  Im 18dpo with no sign of af and as of this morning stll bfn with hpt.  Very frustrating.   I think im gonna  go in for a beta test today or tomorrow to ease my mind

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Oct 05, 2010
First of all let me say that you're such a strong and courageous woman!  Look at where you were and where you're at now. You've come a long ways and STILL continue to be strong and push forward!  That's SO inspiring!!
Second men are just jerks sometimes!  They have no clue what we go through month after month. All they hear is " yes I started or, I'm late".  I've been trying for a little over 6 yrs now and all my husband can say is  "if it happens, it happens". That's ALL I get from him. I had a pre-term miscarriage in 2000 and I was devastated and all he did was hugged me and said "i'm sorry" and that was ALL I got from him. They just don't get it. I wanna smack mine sometimes!  They just don't have that emotional connection and if they do, they deal with it their way unfortunately.  Usually being quite or ill, closed up and alone.  I to feel like you. I'm 31 and I'll be 32 in Jan. and I'm not getting any younger.  I've been trying for 6 yrs and I don't want to waste another 6 yrs of my life just " trying". I want to get as much medical help as possible!  :)  AND yet hubby still acts like " if it happens, it happens". UGH.  I'm not even sure if they're programmed to "get it".  
Can you sit him down and tell him that you really need to talk and you really need him to listen before he responds!  Hear you out then let him speak and work things out.  It's so much easier if they just listen. There are times when I can't talk to hubby for crying so I'll just write it all out and let him read it. It has everything in there I want to say, gives me time to write it all down and I don't have to worry about crying or forgetting something.   I wish you all the best in the world. We have enough stress in our lives TTC, we don't need anymore unwanted stress.   Good Luck Hun!  You're so strong and I know you'll get through this!  

1438491 tn?1286286673
by truebeliever, Oct 05, 2010
You know I never have been good at the temps thing. I tried it when I first started ttc 6 years ago but I could never remember to take the temp before I go to the bathroom or never could take it around the same time every morning. So no I have no temps to go by. Im so hurt that he said he didnt want me at his show! Why would he say that. This may sound bad but If im not preganant this time im just gonna move on. I think I need a different kind of man in my life.
How are your cycles normally? I think that would be a good idea to take a beta! I hope is positive!!! keep me posted!

1438491 tn?1286286673
by truebeliever, Oct 05, 2010
Thanks des_a_rae for the encouraging words!! I tried talking to him and thinks Im overthinking things. I do hate when Im not around and I have so much to say then when i go around I forget what to say so I may have to take your advise and write it down. Im thinking though If im not preg this cycle Im just gonna move on. I just dont see that he is in love with me the way he use to be and TTC is not helping im sure. But like sherrycoup says I really need to be sure he is the right man for me cause although i would do fine being a single mom I want to expierence the excitement the ultrasounds the first step first day of school and all that with my husband and the father if the kid. So if we are not strong enough to make it thru this then maybe I do need to step back and look at things in a realistic way and let him go. It will hurt like crazy but i still wanna feel loved and cherished and honestly I dont get that feeling from him anymore....I gotta stop writing now to many tears and Im at work UGHHH!!!!! I hate all this...things get greater later and Im sooooooo ready for later!!!!

1395792 tn?1358115792
by Destani214, Oct 05, 2010
God will never put more on you than you can bear, give it to Him..Your steps are already ordered ask Him the way, be patient and let Him talk to you. He will show you what to do next!

1240856 tn?1333440354
by loved29, Oct 06, 2010
oh my love, you are doing so well. I just thought to tell you to pray before doing anything major. My hormones have nearly made me and in my notice before now. i,m quite impulsive sometimes. I,ll be praying for you today and even if af does come remember god loves you and cares for you. You are gods creation and he has the best plan for ur life. Love and prayers . -arena

1419381 tn?1284657672
by livingwithpcos, Oct 06, 2010
Well Hun, sometimes as women going through the emotional roller coaster ride as we know get's the best of us. We often think with those emotions and set our hearts up for the worst, protecting it from heartbreak. All men can break our hearts so easily especially when were so in Love with them. When the stress of TTC is getting the best of us, which happens to us all, we turn to giving up. My advice to you my dear is just take a step back from all that your going through, I am not saying GIVE UP! I am saying put it all in GOD'S hands now. Pray with him and let him know that you are putting your TTC in his hands and let go and add the fire back in your relationship with the man you Love so very much! Don't worry anymore. Easier said the done, Yes( I know) but relax, keep taking your meds but let go of stressing. You know stress is a leading cause of infertility. I believe in my heart that it's God's will. If it is his will for a woman to bare a child it will happen. I understand the heartache of what you feel. It breaks my heart for every single one of us who has to go through this. Now you do what you feel is best for you and him, it's all up to you! Love you and if you need me you know where I am:) Your in my prayers and thoughts...

1474160 tn?1322599420
by brooklyns_mom, Oct 19, 2010
Always remember this...the Lord put people in our lives for a reason and for a season. Pray & ask the Lord if this is what he wants for you. Your heavanly Father knows things that you couldnt possibly know or understand. Pray for understanding, and healing. Healing of your heart & your body. Ask him for guidance. He will lead you in the direction that you are to go. Now let me drop this on you, he may very well be trying to offer you guidance but you're not following? We are so stubborn sometimes, I know I am! I want what I want & when I want it. I am trying to remember that I really do have to put God first in everything I do; and that includes TTC. Lord is this what you want for us? Let your will be done Lord. I am praying for you, and everyone else on this board wishing to conceive. I am also here if you ever need to talk!


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