Feb 09, 2011
All I can say is that things have been terrible since Saturday. Would you believe my husband has had 67 zopiclone pills in 3 days... he's prescribed 1 a day. Needless to say he's not been doing anything for the past 3 or 4 days. We have barely said anything to each otehr and he has chosen to sleep on the couch. He's angry with me for not wanting to be part of his life if he chooses to take pills the way he has. He doesn't understand why I have such a problem with it.
My husband is trying to rationalize his actions by saying that taking pills is no different than me having a glass of wine. We argue about that like crazy... I have a glass of wine 2 or 3 times a week... a single bottle lasts me 2 weeks. He's had 2 months worth of prescriptions in 3 days... really, how can he think of it as the same? He also says that his pills are prescribed to him, so he's really doing nothing wrong! There is no reasoning with him. Then he compares his pill taking with my photography hobby... saying it makes me feel good to take photos and he can accept and respect that... pills make him feel good and I should respect that. How on earth does anyone have this type of logic? Am I the only person who can't see this as being acceptable? Am I the only person who doesn't think these are even comparable? I'm going crazy as everything is turned around on me, everything I do, like going to work, taking pictures is an addiction in his mind, so he's doing nothing different than me! I can't even reason with him and I've had enough!
So, today is this very much anticipated appointment with yet another new doctor. He thinks he will be all better after this appointment... all I know is that it will likely mean more pills, perhaps something worse than zopiclone. So, I'm not too thrilled about it. I also know he lies to his doctors to try to get what he wants... I can't believe it's that easy!
Things are terrible between us. We've not exchanged many words since Saturday, but the few that were make me feel like we may not get through this. He's angry at me for not supporting him, he's angry for me trying to put a road block to him taking pills, and he still can't believe that I've said to him I don't want to be around when he's on pills. I can't win, there's nothing that can be said or done to make him see how his actions are affecting me.