Feb 09, 2011
Today marks one year since I decided to eat radioactive waste, and “go nuclear” to save my body from cancer. My friend Jaimee called it a walk about for the soul, it is exactly that. Being in isolation while radioactive, and having cancer reveals who you are in life. It lets you see who you really are, and what you mean to the world around you. It reveals your worth. You end up a little more broken when you realize how little you mean to some. You end up humbled by the love of a few who never leave you feeling alone in your fight.
When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I immediately began looking forward to the day when I would be back to normal. That is what I was working towards, getting back to my old self. I’m finally realizing there is no going back. I hate this body, but I am learning to accept it. I’m grateful for what life has given me, and that I am for now, cancer free. I deal with the reality that this may change, and it keeps me thankful for each cancer free day I enjoy. While trying to defeat cancer, and get back to my old self, I figured something out. There is no normal, or going back to my “old self” because I am no longer that person. My perception of the world, and everyone around me changed, and with it who I was changed.