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February 10th, 2011

Feb 10, 2011 - 2 comments










Yesterday my husband had this long anticipated appointment.  When he got home and I asked how it went he was short with me (I'm getting used to that).  He wouldn't say much other than the doctor said he has anxiety.  He say that the pharmacy was out of whatever was prescribed to him, and that he also prescribed zopiclones (yes, more of those) but the prescription could not be filled has he just had one.  He then told me to leave him alone.

As I was managing banking later in the evening, I noticed money was taken out of the account at the drug store.  I questioned him on it and yes, something was filled.  He wouldn't say what or how much.  I asked how much he took and he said "enough".  There were a bunch of excuses made, that "next time" I can manage them, that "next time" he will involve me.  I said what about if we start now, to which he said no.  It's always "tomorrow", "next week", "next time" or sometime that is not NOW.  That is what angers me, because he says he wants help, but I know that's just a lie.

I've been very angry, sad, confused, upset, scared, etc. lately.  Many people on here have offered up suggestions like "report him" or "divorce him".  Perhaps my excuses are no different than his, but I'm scared of what he would do if I did either one.  I say this because he has threatened me.  He says that if I think life is hard now, wait until I cross him.  He says that the house will be destroyed, the new vehicle will be destroyed and that my life will be a living hell.  So yes, he ends up in jail... but the sentence would end soon enough, and then he would come after me!

Selling the house is a great idea, except he's home ALL day long and can make it so the house is in no condition to sell (or to be viewed).

Divorcing him - great, he doesn't work, so he'll be entitled to 50% of the house, of my savings and my penssion.  Plus he's already said he would take me to the cleaners.  I know there would be no end to how misserable he makes me, if he even allows it to happen.

My husband has become extremely manipulative... he knows how to make me feel terrified.  I fear him and I don't know how to get around that.  I'm searching for a solution and so far can't see one, but I'm not giving up!

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by crackerjack4u2, Feb 10, 2011
Bless Your Heart.  If you want to know what he had filled, call the pharmacy and ask them for yours and his itemized statements for the last month, and it should be on there.  They don't have to know why you need it, but if they ask you could tell them it's for something else like taxes of food stamps then you will have your answer.   I know you feel he has you over a barrel, and he does in a lot of ways.  Hun I'd so love to be able to offer you a simple solution to make everything all better for you and him, but unfortunately there aren't any simple solutions to what you are dealing with.  

Have you consider finding an actual Support Group Meeting in your area or a Church Group that are set up for families members of addiction.  There is one place called Families Anonymous, Inc.that has meetings all over the US.  Here is their web address if you want to check it out.    Please know that what is occurring in your home is not uncommon, you are not alone, you have friends here on MH who sincerely care about you, and there are groups available in your town where you can talk with people who are dealing with the same things you are.  

All I can offer you is what I've mentioned to you in the past. I have been where you are at, and my heart so goes out to you because it is a miserable way for a person to have to live. The threats you receive from him are his ways of keeping you as his Victim.  This forces you to keep paying all his bills, allows him to not have to work so he can lay around feeding his addiction all day on the money you are earning, and allows him to be in complete control of you, even though he can't control himself.  

Like I mentioned before, only you know what is the best decision for you to make, and no one else can make that decision for you.  It does sincerely break my heart though knowing what a toll this is taking on such a wonderful person as yourself, how much of your life is passing you by without you being able to enjoy it, and how fearful you are of staying, yet just as, if not more, fearful of leaving. I Pray you are able to some day soon happily move forward with your life, regardless of the direction you decide to take.  Good Luck and God Bless Brenda

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by lonelyguyy, Feb 16, 2011
your story just like my past. my wife and son leave me because i abuse drug. god bless you

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