May 12, 2011
I fear achieving my desires. How am I ever supposed to be happy with this fear? I want to love and be loved. But I'm afraid of loving and being loved. I don't trust those feelings at this moment. I want to become an occupational therapist eventually. But I'm also afraid of doing so. What if I don't want to do that after I've sent thousands of dollars on school and year of my time wasted? What do I do then? waste more time? What if I fall in love and the other person doesn't actually love me?
I want to eventually adopt, but then I fear adopting as a single mom.
What is up with this irrational thinking? Why can I go anywhere? Why do I feel safe and unsafe at the same time? I want to crack out of this routine of thoughts! :o(