May 14, 2011
So, Ive seen my regular cardiologist who is a great guy and has no problems with providing me the pertinent information I need to know in order to handle my condition responsibly. I vented some in my last entry and come to find out it is common for people, who, have been brought back to life in such a manner (ie: being shocked with enough voltage to light up a baseball field, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, I don't know, but it sure felt like it,) to suffer from a fair amount of PTSD. I am certainly one of those people. It's been a hailstorm of emotion around here.
My cardiologist says, based on the study, provided by the dr I didn't like so much, I have the worst case scenario for someone to be a candidate for an ICD implant. A "ventricular flutter" as it were which is why my heart stopped during the study. This apparently is worse than V TACH or V FIB. According to my cardio it is the type of thing that is a direct result of scarring on my left ventricular muscle which was formed after the first major heart attacks. I cried in the meeting with him, I cussed to him about the experience with the EP, all while my 2 year little girl was present as I didn't have child care to allow me to go by myself (this happens often these days cuz I'm a stay at home Dad right now) I came home and prayed while she napped on the couch. I asked for a passage to give me some guidance from the Lord and as I opened my Dad's old bible, I read the first line that popped out to me and it said, "Thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind, this is the first great commandment, and the second is like unto it thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, , on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" St Mathew 22; 37-40. I think I'll hang my hopes in that. Meanwhile, I'll lay my heart condition in the hands of another Electro Physiologist, which my Cardiologist is recommending, to discuss a second opinion and the procedure of implanting an ICD to provide me with life should I have an event in the future. I've researched some products and like the Boston Scientific Teligen 100. I hope he says it's a good unit and will be open to my using it as opposed to others which seem to be bigger and less advanced. I am concluding, at the moment at least that this is the right move for me and my family. They say it may never even have to engage, but, better to be safe than sorry right?