May 17, 2011
i am back....for good this time...well since i tried the cold turkey thing i couldnt make it past day 3. Then I ended up back at the Dr, and was going to taper myself. Well within this month i have still felt horrid, because i know now cold turkey is going to be the only way for me to go. So I made a major step today. I called the dr. and told them truth. Dr. wasnt in but I talked to the nurse. I am supposed to start a new job Friday.....and am absolutely terrified. My original goal was to be "normal" for summer so my kids and I can enjoy the summer but thats down the drain now. I am just terrified and I will be starting my job on day 2 of w/d and am really hoping I can do it. This is the hardest thing ever. Not real sure if the dr. will help me. He might just drop me as a patient. But at least i conquered that aspect. I started taking vitamins and vitamin c the last time i tried this and i am still taking them. I went out and got the bath salts, baking soda and someone even told me lavendar will help. THIS IS IT....I HAVE TO DO THIS....IT IS NOW OR NEVER and i just cant keep doing this anymore. As someone on this sight said...you are chained to the bottle and i am not going to be that person anymore. Just terrified of what is in store for me.