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I am back

May 17, 2011 - 0 comments

i am back....for good this time...well since i tried the cold turkey thing i couldnt make it past day 3.  Then I ended up back at the Dr, and was going to taper myself.  Well within this month i have still felt horrid, because i know now cold turkey is going to be the only way for me to go.  So I made a major step today.  I called the dr. and told them truth.  Dr. wasnt in but I talked to the nurse.  I am supposed to start a new job Friday.....and am absolutely terrified.  My original goal was to be "normal" for summer so my kids and I can enjoy the summer but thats down the drain now.  I am just terrified and I will be starting my job on day 2 of w/d and am really hoping I can do it.  This is the hardest thing ever.  Not real sure if the dr. will help me.  He might just drop me as a patient. But at least i conquered that aspect.  I started taking vitamins and vitamin c the last time i tried this and i am still taking them.  I went out and got the bath salts, baking soda and someone even told me lavendar will help.  THIS IS IT....I HAVE TO DO THIS....IT IS NOW OR NEVER and i just cant keep doing this anymore.  As someone on this sight said...you are chained to the bottle and i am not going to be that person anymore.  Just terrified of what is in store for me.  

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