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If, When and What

May 22, 2011 - 4 comments

So today is CD 23 for me.  I don't even know when or  IF I've even ovulated this month.  I don't know when because I've had so much going on I just gave up temping, waking up all hours and what not.  I don't know IF I even ovulated due to so much stress. I did have EWCM for a couple of days but I didn't have the normal ovulation pains that I get, so I have no clue!!

First it was the horrible tornadoes that came through here, then I had to plan my cousins wedding shower, not receiving things I ordered on time, trying to find replacements.  Okay not so bad then my mom has a severe crohn's flare up, off to the ER she goes after the 2nd day of dealing with pain so bad that even pain pills wouldn't even get rid of.  Thank god no blockage.  Earlier in the day of my mom being rushed to the ER my uncle tried to kill himself.  My hubby had to get the gun out of his hands and away from his head. UGH!!!!!!!!!!  THEN My other uncle was rushed to ER with a blockage going to his heart.  Okay So uncle who tried to kill himself was rushed to hospital and is still there, uncle with blockage is doing good and my mom is better.  NOW they're starting her on treatments for her crohn's that can cause lymphoma (sp), pancreatitis and that's the more severe side effects of course but still has the nausea, bone defeciency and she already has scoloisis and osteo arthritis in her scoliosis and alot more side effects.  All of this and it's only half way through May.  Yesterday was my cousins wedding, which was beautiful of course!! AND now my sister is graduating on the 27th!!  I'm SO READY for MAY to be OVER WITH ALREADY!!!  I'm so tired and spread thin with everything.  Worrying about my mom especially.  This pill they're giving her is used to treat leukemia..how "safe" could it be??  I just get tired of seeing her hurting, seeing this ruining her life and there's no cure for it. :(  I'm sad because my baby sister is graduating, she's growing up and I knew she would but it's came so fast...and on top of that here I am with no child STILL!  After being married 12 yrs, everyone getting married around me, my lil cousins and sister all growing up and moving off and here I sit..with an empty house, no pitter patter in my house.  Thank goodness I have a dog or I would be more depressed.  Ugh, is a child, a blessing to much to ask for??  :(   Oh well, sorry for the rambling and venting..I've just had so much going on and I keep all of this to myself, so it's nice to have "here" to go to.

This IS never ending. :(
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1351078 tn?1416313146
by retta483, May 22, 2011
Im so sorry :( Im praying for you to have a better month  and to get those pitter patter of little feet :) hang in there nothing worth doing is easy .

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, May 22, 2011
Thanks so much Retta!  You're right, but I feel like I've "tried" so much and for so long now. I know I'm just in a slump right now and hopefully next month will be better!  Thank you again! :)

1215490 tn?1319837441
by S2609, May 23, 2011
Awww sweetie, no wonder you were so upset! Those are def reasons to bring someone down. But at least things are starting to get sorted. So sorry about your mom's chron's... I used to work in clinical studies for drugs to try and treat patients with chron's and I know how disruptive to someone that can be. At least she's being medicated now. They would not give her the medication if the benefit would not outweigh the risk so try not to worry too much about those side effects. And if you're really worried, ask her dr about it. Ask them if there are any alternatives... They should be able to explain to you why they prescribed that drug in particular.
CD23 means there's still hope for this month! :) I'll be sending you all my baby dust sweetie! Big hush and kisses!! Hope June will bring lots of good news ;) xx

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, May 23, 2011
Thanks so much Son!  Yes, it really is heartbreaking watching what it does to her.  Her flare ups are unbearable for me to watch, I can't imagine actually being her. :(  I just wished there was a miracle "cure all" for alot of things.  I do appreciate your kind words and I thank you so much!!  Now if I can just make it through Friday, when my lil sister graduates it should be smooth sailing for awhile lol.  HOPEFULLY!  

How are you and lil man doing?  I'm still so happy for you and just sit in awe when I think about you having your lil Liam with you finally!!  I hope everything is going good and everyone is doing well!  Thank you so much again.  Take care!  Big hugs!! :)

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