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Aug 29, 2011 - 4 comments
As I mentioned in my status, baby girl was born on August 23rd, 2011 @ 5:57pm, she came out @ 29 weeks. Eventhough drs were able to somehow "stabilized" my blood pressure, it was already affecting my baby. They did and u/s on monday and her fluid had gon down to just 4 AFI, so drs decided to deliver the baby. They 1st wanted to induce me, but since baby wouldnt stay on the monitor, the did and emegency C-Section. I have to say that it was far from the birth plan I had planned, but it had to be done and I was ok with it.
Ariana was born SCREAMING, she weighted 2lbs 10ozs and measure 15 1/2 inches. She was put on a C-pap (which she hates and is always trying to take it off..!) and already they're removing the umbilical lines, so hopefully soon I'll get to hold her. She's also eating 3 times more than when she was born. Everybody at the NICU calls her "little miss feisty" bcs of how much she fights with the nurses who are taking care of her. They say that's good, and that is now a matter of when she's gonna be able to come home.
Now about how I'm feeling? That's another story....I;m fighting the feelings of guilt, and hurt. I feel so guilty bcs my body failed her, and she couldnt stay longer inside of me. Everyone tells me is not my fault, but is hard to see it that way, Is so hard to look at her with all those tubes and monitors, when she should be inside of me, kicking up a storm, and comfy, growing and to come out when she was ready.
People keep telling me that I need to rest, while she's on the NICU, but how can I? When I'm there, I feel so guilty seeing her hooked up to all of those machines and when I'm home I'm constantly thinking about her being there all alone, and feeling like I'm abandoning her.
Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support for both me and my baby girl.
Ariana was born SCREAMING, she weighted 2lbs 10ozs and measure 15 1/2 inches. She was put on a C-pap (which she hates and is always trying to take it off..!) and already they're removing the umbilical lines, so hopefully soon I'll get to hold her. She's also eating 3 times more than when she was born. Everybody at the NICU calls her "little miss feisty" bcs of how much she fights with the nurses who are taking care of her. They say that's good, and that is now a matter of when she's gonna be able to come home.
Now about how I'm feeling? That's another story....I;m fighting the feelings of guilt, and hurt. I feel so guilty bcs my body failed her, and she couldnt stay longer inside of me. Everyone tells me is not my fault, but is hard to see it that way, Is so hard to look at her with all those tubes and monitors, when she should be inside of me, kicking up a storm, and comfy, growing and to come out when she was ready.
People keep telling me that I need to rest, while she's on the NICU, but how can I? When I'm there, I feel so guilty seeing her hooked up to all of those machines and when I'm home I'm constantly thinking about her being there all alone, and feeling like I'm abandoning her.
Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support for both me and my baby girl.
I didn't even realize that you left NY and moved to TX. And to be down there in the heat while you were pregnant too? WOW. I'm happy that Ariana has arrived safely. I know that she's not quite out of the woods yet, but she sounds like she's got lots of fire in her just like her mom. Boriqua!! I haven't experienced what you have so I can't speak on your feelings. All I can say is that I hope the feelings of guilts diminish as time goes by and especially when you are able to bring her home. I will continue to pray for you both and hope that you get to hold her in your ams soon.
she looks like a lil fighter to me! u shudn't b worried u shud b proud! ur body kept her for 29 weeks when she was probably ready to leave wayy earlier than that haha..
she's gonna b just fine and soon ull b able to hold her in ur arms n give her all the kisses n hugs u wanted to.
xoxoo
I just saw your posting I didnt realize you had your little girl. Congrats to you!!! Are you in NY, what hospital? wHAT IS time frame for NICU? How long do they think she will be there.
Hang in there...she will be home with you soon. Atleast you know she is safe & being well taken care of.
Hang in there...she will be home with you soon. Atleast you know she is safe & being well taken care of.
i'm so sorry that you are going through this but it sounds like your baby is strong and a fighter! good qualities for a woman to possess, and traits that will serve her well as she builds her strength over the coming weeks.
i understand how it must be so hard for you to rest right now but try to take care of yourself and just know that you will serve your baby best by being healthy and recovering yourself so you can be a full time momma -- the time will come soon, hun!
sending positive thoughts your way. xoxo
i understand how it must be so hard for you to rest right now but try to take care of yourself and just know that you will serve your baby best by being healthy and recovering yourself so you can be a full time momma -- the time will come soon, hun!
sending positive thoughts your way. xoxo
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