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Oct 03, 2011 - 3 comments

So I have a friend who has been ttc just like me. When I got my bfp I thought of her because I didn't know how to tell her, I finally told her because I didn't want her hear from someone else. As I suspected she was crushed, she put on a brave face for me but I knew she was not ok after all I have been there. I don't know what worked for me which was even more discouraging because then I could even tell her what to try. I told my dh after that I should have at least given her my dr number and told him to talk to her husband and tell him if she wants the number to call me because for obvious reasons I didn't want to bring up the topic again. Yesterday I saw her and she was very depressed I tried talking to her about everything else except my pregnancy but eventually she broke down in tears. I nearly died, I didn't know what to say, fortunately her husband was ready to leave so she left.  I was in a mess after, a part of me had hoped when I told her that i was pregnant she would have said "me too" but now i have to deal with her pain and I feel so bad.

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1703313 tn?1322578595
by ttc3since0908, Oct 03, 2011
Well, I'm sure she's happy for you. I'm sure you can understand her feelings. It's good you told her now so she can get used to the idea and maybe take her ttc to the next level. Just give her time. Try not to stress (I knw easier said than done). It's nit good for your little one growing inside.

I told a friend yesterday that had been trying and did everything under the sun. Got pregnant once, lost it due to fibroid tumors and finally ended up having to get a hysterectomy without ever having a child of her own. She and her husband since have adopted a little newborn baby girl who is goin to be 2 in a few months. I am sure part of her was sad when I told her but, she knows what we've been through and couldn't be happier for us. All I can say is give your friend time and just be there for her. No matter how much you might want to talk to her about it, keep the pregnancy to yourself for awhile. She'll let you know when she's ready. I'm sorry you are in his situation. I know how you feel. I've been on both sides.

Sorry to ramble...


1152782 tn?1451101426
by ConnieG, Oct 03, 2011
I think it's great that you told her. Everyone in my family who knew kept my sisters pregnancy a secret from me. It is still very painful to see her belly grow and help her pick out baby stuff and all that. But the most painful thing is that EVERYONE felt they should keep it a secret from me because it would hurt me.   I think you did best. She's going to hurt about this until she gets pregnant. There is nothing you can do about it, but being completely open and honest with her and asking her how she is doing and let her know you understand her pain and love her anyway. I think that would be best.  I just have to be completely honest to my sister. Your friend probably wants to be honest to you but she doesn't want to be a downer and hurt your feelings, so maybe if you set the precident and let her know her feelings are valid and okay then she'll be a little better.  And just let her cry and leave like you did. It'll probably take a while for her to be okay, but she'll come around.
Congrats again :)

1163388 tn?1337107959
by morbaby, Oct 03, 2011
I know that she is happy for me but I have been in that strange middle ground where you are happy but wish it was you and I never thought I could do that to someone. I have vowed not to talk about it until she brings it up but at the same time I don't want her feel I don't want to share anything with her. I think I will let her decide when she is ready. I also have to look out for myself and my baby so I can't take this on too much. Our friendship is strong enough to go through this.

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