Well today is CD30 and this is where I start losing all the hope I had at the beginning of this cycle. Every small cramp, twinge or pain and I KNOW AF is almost here. It's weird how we can pump ourselves up around ovulation, telling ourselves that this is going to be our month, bding as much as possible, trying to get everything just right and then there in those last couple of days it fades so quickly. All my hope is gone as fast as my first cramp(telling me that AF is on her way) lasts. :( I cannot express how much I HATE this feeling. So much doubt, it's only natural after so many negatives. I honestly never test anymore, what's the use??
On a brighter note, I NEVER want to put up a Christmas tree or decorate for Christmas because we don't have kids. I guess I associate Christmas with kids, gifts and what not and that's not the only reason. This year though, I've been trying to keep from putting all my stuff up to early LOL. I wanted to a month ago!! I've never been more excited about Christmas and no it's not about gifts or material things...it's about Christ, Love and Family!! Probably going to put it all up today and I'm SO excited about it. :)
This IS never ending. :(