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Ladies please help me!!

Dec 30, 2011 - 18 comments

Okay I'm sorry this is so long but I have to explain to get to my point.  Being married for 12 yrs, hubby and I always "assumed" we'd get pg in due time.  I have god awful painful periods.  I'm not talking about your little cramps a heating pad and midol will fix, I'm talking about throwing up, passing out, trying to find something to knock myself out to deal with kinda pain.  Had surgery for Endometriosis (always thought my painful periods were probably something wrong and causing OUR infertility), so found mild endo, cyst on fallopian tube and removed a polyp in middle of my uterus (caused alot of bleeding all the time for about 2 yrs). Okay, hubby is mad because he thinks the surgeon missed something in there because after my surgery I felt pretty good.  No bleeding and still that's good but my pain came back within 6 months and it's god awful again.  He's more concerned with fixing my pain (as am I) but he's not understanding that we need to have a child ASAP because most dr.'s don't want to do anything drastic to a healthy 32 yr old with no children.  He's afraid if we get pregnant, will my pain be even worse then??  Forgot to mention that he has YET to okay a SA!!  So stubborn, blames the fact that, "we need to make sure you're okay first!!".  Well I get that, BUT this is what I'm thinking.  I've had the surgery, the RE said I'm "good to go" as far as having a child. I O on my own, have good eggs, they're plentiful every month and everything else is good.  SO I'm thinking.. Getting hubby on this boat of conceiving ASAP.  Getting the SA done, if he has low sperm or just problems in general get the help he needs.  I CANNOT afford IVF :(.  My insurance covers nothing for that and one round here in B'ham is $17,000.  I CAN do the IUI though.  That's as extreme as we can go.  SO IF it's him, do this.  
I'm going to go get a 2nd opinion myself on what's causing all my pain.  I do believe that the surgeon missed something as well because nothing has changed.  What I'm wondering though...pregnancy or NOT, what can they do medically to fix my pain?  Before pregnancy and afterwards?  I know they'll want to try BC, been there and done that.  If hubby has sperm problems and we are able to do IUI and that doesn't work then I've GOT to do something..I can't live like this, the rest of my life.  Sorry for rambling so much, just been thinking about alot in these last 2 or 3 days.

First is get him checked!  2nd is if it's him, try to fix it..if not, THEN...do something about my pain!   I don't think there's anything they can do for it, while I'm TTC. But what can be done if I call TTC quits?  Thanks for all the help...just kinda lost here.  Hubby won't even talk to me about TTC...he doesn't try to prevent it, but it's like he's acting oblivious to it.  I don't know what to do! :(

This IS never ending. :(
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1396867 tn?1520810258
by hopeitworks, Dec 30, 2011
Ihave stage IV endo. I was dx in Nov 2008 with a laproscopic surgery. I have the same pain. Im talking pain meds stopped working. I just cry and cry. In 2008, they werent able to do much without risking damage. So they put me on lupron for 6 mnths I got 2 3 month dosage shots. I was a wacko,hormonal wreck and couldnt remember anything!! It did nothing for my pain. However In JUly 2009 we were able to go in again and go another laproscopic and clean me up. This took care of my pain for awhile. By April 2010 I was back in the OR for a lapartomy this time. They removed all they could and we started a IVF cycle. We took a break after our IVF cycle failed and my pain really returned Nov/Dec 2010. I went to the Dr and was actually told my scan looked good for me,. HUmm ok maybe I am crazy I thought. March 2011 I knew I was not crazy the pain was so bad I wanted to reach around rip it out and show them what hurt. I went back to the Dr and sure enough I was a mess all over again. Dr coudlnt believe how fast it seemed since in Dec things looked good. I had surgery again April 2011 laparatomy. I had 1 period in May(let me tell you it was still bad even after surgery), and got pregnant Thankfully with our IVF cycle we started in May. I have never been able to completely have my endo removed, its alwasy just been cleaned up to put me in a better position to concieve. I can tell you that since being pregnant. I havent felt this fabulous in years!! Whats to come after does scare me. So it is very possible your Dr got all he could at the time and it is now back with vegence. Endo gross off the estrogen we produce. So I would suggest you have this looked into again. It is a nasty disease which takes away from our lives. Dont give up on wanting a child. But do get yourself looked at again. I hope this helps in some way and I didnt just ramble on and on :)

If you have any questions or want to talk you can PM me

1571146 tn?1399909692
by Moma_Cher, Dec 30, 2011
I have wanted to ask you if your DH had an SA because I just feel in my heart you are completely fertile. As for the endo, ya, it's probably back... It will continue to grow back as long as you have a period because (like hopeitworks said) it thrives off estrogen. Oh, and getting pregnant will be the BEST THING for endo... It will give you a year pain free (from what I hear).

I'm hoping and praying that your DH will submit to the SA so you can plan an IUI treatment asap!! You are so young and I just know you are fertile!!!  


Hugs,

Cheri

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Dec 30, 2011
Thanks so much!! I was super hopeful after surgery but that was in June of 2010 :(.  My aunt had to have a complete hysterectomy at 29 yrs old because of severe Endometriosis.  I'd like a choice, and preferrably to have something done AFTER I have a child.  It's just so hopeless at times.  You're right, the pain is so hard to describe and like yourself, I just wished that someone could rip it out..hurts so bad. It's hard to stop the pain either through meds or surgery and TTC.  I've been to 2 dr.s'.  My regular gyno sent me to B'ham to an RE because he could "preserve" my fertility while doing the surgery and sometimes I think he was more worried with getting me knocked up (which I completely understand that's his job) than finding and fixing my pain. :(  I'd like both!!  Something to end my pain for good...and a child of my own.  I've been to so many dr.'s it's crazy!!  Back dr. because that's where ALOT of my pain is, in my lower back. I have god awful pain while trying to (sorry for the TMI) have a bowel movement during AF so I also had a colonoscopy.  I'm just sick of dr.'s .  I will be going back again to a new one though, my regular gyno moved so I have no choice.  Hopefully this one will be more helpful.
Thanks again for replying!!  And I'm sooo happy that you were able to get PG!!  :D

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Dec 30, 2011
Thanks Cheri!!  I think so too, that's what the RE told me.  I just wished that light would go off in hubby's head ...."maybe I should get checked!!".  They've mentioned it to him twice now! But he says he's more worried about me and the pain I'm in month after month.  I know he will, I've just got to sit him down and explain how important it is for him to have that done, as to what my options will be and what WE can do.

Any idea what could be done AFTER I have a child (IF that ever happens)??  AFter one child I'm done anyways, can't do this again :(.  So can they do partial hysterectomy? Surgery for endo again?  What's the best thing to do??

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Dec 30, 2011
I had scaring in my uterus friom a dnc, and before getting diagnosed, I too would throw up and almost pass out from af cramps.  I almost od'd on pain relievers once i believe.  After I had my first surgery, I felt great, and then about 8 months later I started hurting really bad again...guess what, some of the scarring had returned!  I had another surgery, and then a third.  I felt better after every one.  So, I do believe our bodies try to tell us things.  As for your husband, I am a true believer of cover all your bases... He needs to do the SA :)

1462588 tn?1345061795
by TAGLAS, Dec 30, 2011
I am so very sorry to hear you’re in so much pain. It sounds like your endometriosis has returned. Unfortunately this may continue to happen until you conceive and possibly thereafter. I agree that your DH should get an SA. I had a very difficult time convincing my DH to get a SA. Low and behold he was dx w/ a low count and poor motility.

SSBD TO YOU.... Hopefully the new DOC can give you a better prognosis!


790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Dec 30, 2011
Thanks so much ladies!  After going to several doctors I'm also getting mixed info.  I had an HSG and my tubes are open BUT the guy doing it couldn't get the tube thingy in to start with...he said I have cervical stenosis( and that procedure hurt me SO bad, even having a normal pap hurts me like crazy, my lower back aches for days) and years ago my very first gyno said I have a tilted uterus.  I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.  The RE said I didn't have cervical stenosis but he had also gave me a cytotec the night before my lap and hysteroscopy to remove that polyp.  SO if he had not of given me the cytotec would he have confirmed the stenosis as well??  So much confusion, so much stress..

I know I also have really bad cysts. When they put me on the birth control for a year before I had my surgery I was seeing the RE and they were doing an ultrasound and the tech said "you're on BC right??" and I said "yes, why?" and she said " well you have so many cysts on your ovaries to be on birth control". I took that as not being a good thing. :S

I just want answers and help.  I want this to be over with.

Thanks for all your advice!  I can't talk to family about this, they've never been through such.  They're all fertile myrtles with "normal" periods.

334926 tn?1436811523
by butterflybabies, Dec 30, 2011
I have always had that excruciating period pains during af. I throw up, cry from the pain, pass a lot of clots, and no amount of midol and aleve helps me. I have been told by many docs even my re that there is nothing wrong with me. I don't have endo or anything. It's just the way my periods are. I agree that your dh should get checked out. It's harder on you for what has to be done for your pain if there is anything they can do. What's the point in trying every month if you don't know his swimmers are ok. I hope you can get him to get his sa done I really do. Praying for you sweety!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Dec 31, 2011
Thank you!  I do too and I've thought that myself.  I'M the one trying every month. :(  I just hate feeling so lost and hopeless.

1386765 tn?1451164337
by pb95, Jan 03, 2012
There is no easy answer to this!  I know how DH feels as mine feels very protective of me when I'm in pain.  You can't waste any time though and make a plan to make yourself feel better.  I never feel worse than when I don't know what is next.  Keep looking for the answers and hopefully DH will see how important it is to you.  I only have 2 friends with endo and they both were able to have children.  If you are like me, just stopping, without knowing answers isn't going to work!  Thinking of you and sending hugs.

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 03, 2012
Thanks so much Hun, you're right.  I feel like I'm wasting time trying, when I'm not even sure if hubby's "boys" are good or not.  I know he'll understand, but he rarely ever talks about having kids.  He told my mom, he doesn't want me to be hurt anymore if it IS him, but I need to explain to him how important it is regardless of kids or not so I'll know what I'm able to do to help myself.  This TTC stuff is SO HARD in every way. :(  And you're right, I can't stop...I haven't yet and I don't plan to until I absolutely have no choice.  Thank you again!

1742167 tn?1436471720
by heather727, Jan 04, 2012
From what I know about endo, a pregnancy will actually help it.  And as far as permanent treatment, I don't think you can do any of those options until you're sure you're done having kids (I've only heard of hysterectomy or a partial hysterectomy 'fixing' endo).  So I would think your first order of business would be to get prego - and that would mean DH needs to get an SA.

Maybe explain to him how a pregnancy will actually ease your pain and then once the child is born, you'll be able to take other steps to ensure your pain doesn't return.  It sounds to me like DH is really worried about you.  He doesn't like to see you in pain.  And he may even be thinking that a pregnancy would make it worse.  And there is always the male ego - which is secretly terrified that if there is something wrong with their swimmers that it will automatically demasculinate them.  My gut tells me that if you've been trying for 12 years without so much as a chemical pregnancy, that his swimmers might be the cause.  (But I'm no RE - so take that with a grain of salt).

Either way I hope you feel better soon.  No one should have to go through pain like that every month. :(

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 04, 2012
Thanks so much Heather. I think so too about him not liking me in pain and definitely agree on sitting him down and explaining pregnancy possibly helping the pain AND giving us the child we want AND afterwards getting something done about "fixing" my AF pain.  He's really understanding and you're right also, I think he might feel really bad even thinking it could be him and I'm just going to have to reassure him, either way it doesn't matter.  At least we'll have an answer, that's what I'm wanting and needing!!  

I really appreciate all of this wonderful adivce and most of all the friendship I have here.  It means more to me than you all will ever know!  You're like my "family" in a sense because no one in my actual family understands, so I go to you all for help and you've helped me soo much!  thank you!!.

1429086 tn?1330881288
by cutepoppy, Jan 04, 2012
even i have endo(with bilateral ovarian choco cysts and adhesions)...got it removed last year feb...did 5 iui cycles and an IVF/ICSI cycle last june ...but failed miserably...since the lap i got relieved from those horrid cramps...but no BFP...still waiting for my miracle...trying for adoption now ...but no one takes me seriously as they say i am too young to adopt...i would agree with heather..do go for a semen analysis of your dh....take care

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 04, 2012
Thanks so much!!  I'm going to, just gotta have that dreaded talk. It's not the talk I'm worried about, it's trying to get through it.  Hard to talk when you're pouring your feelings out and crying so much.  So sorry about everything you've been through.  Wishing you the best  with your adoption process!!

1571146 tn?1399909692
by Moma_Cher, Jan 04, 2012
Good luck Des. I'm thinking of you!!!!!!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 05, 2012
Thanks so much Cher.  I'm waiting until this weekend because hubby works long hours during the week.  He's headed to work at 6:30 and then not home until 7, sometimes 8.  When he gets home he eats, showers and is passed out within 30 min of sitting down. :(  SO going to give myself time and I don't want it a rushed talk.  

1386765 tn?1451164337
by pb95, Jan 05, 2012
Will be thinking of you and hope the talk goes well!!!

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