Jan 14, 2012
Not letting you make me hate myself more then I already do. I can’t choose who I love and I can’t believe you would ever ask me to deny that. I would never ask you to change for me, because you know what? I love you like a sister and your happiness means the world to me. I would never take that away from you or ask you not to be for me. **** you for controlling my life for so long, I always put you first for everything. No matter how much you hurt me. You were always the one I would never stop caring about or believing in. I told you I would never leave your side, and I never did. Don’t tell me you can’t trust me or I never cared because I ******* did. I always did. I always will. I’d throw myself in front of a car for you. You used me so much, and I knew it. And it hurt a lot. You hurt me a lot, confused my life, walked over me, judged me, gave me so much more pain then i needed. And now I’m so weak, not because you left. I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone. Being alone is so much more secure. I’m weak because I put myself through so much ****, I stayed strong much to long, I lost myself, I am empty.
God I hope you ******* see this. I hope you know what you did to me, what I never complained about, what i never walked away from, what makes me what I am now. I held you at your weakest points, even though I was falling apart at the seems. Holding your world up meant more to me then keeping mine afloat. So **** you