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Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Feb 26, 2012 - 3 comments

Some days, I come out of the house ready to tackle anything, and then just run myself into the ground!  Other days, my fatigue hits just after breakfast, and I play it by ear, but still wind up doing too much.

Last week started out as a pretty strong week.  I went for a hike with friends Sunday, worked Monday and Tuesday, got myself a new city bike Wednesday and rode around town a bit, and by Thursday, I was totally SPENT!!  I'm still shot!

With work, scanning anybody over 100 kg is just getting too difficult.  My hands spasm while I scan the patient, and I come away shaking, unable to write, unable to concentrate while writing the preliminary report.  I'm not sure how much more of this I have left in me...  my fatigue hits me at the most inopportune moments, and it's really difficult to concentrate on any task at hand.  I may have to leave work sooner than later.

I guess I already know my answer - I really need to PACE myself better.  In the mean time, I have all these grand plans for the summer, and I really need to have a "Plan B" ready for any activities.

I've been diagnosed 2 1/2 years, now, after over 20+ years of symptoms.  My neuro and I were talking last month, and I told him of stuff that happened in my teens and early 20s that may have been just coincidental, but he doesn't dismiss the idea that I may have had MS all this time.  I'm progressing, slowly (hey, I'll take slow over fast!), and my neuro exam shows it.  We've discussed the possibility of transitioning to SPMS, but he won't go there officially, because that would limit medication possibilities.

So I just keep on keepin' on, and trying to have fun when the opportunity presents itself.

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1396846 tn?1332459510
by figuerpa, Feb 26, 2012
I understand where you are coming from. I am the same way. I push myself sometimes to the point that I am done for a few days. I finally had to realize that I am not the old Paula anymore and I need to limit myself and make time for rest in between.

I could no longer do my job either so my doctor took me off work, got turned down for dissability so I went back to school so I can find something that I can do.

We all want to be the people we were before and on the good days we feel like we can and we over do it, at least I do. I hope that you will find a happy medium with all the things you do. Most of my energy is spent by early afternoon so I get as much done as possible in the mornings and either take a nap or at least lay down and rest for a while so that I can get the energy to cook dinner for the family.

As for the summer, last year was a scorcher and I am hoping this year will be better so I can get out and do things with the family. We had late night gill outs last year which was perfect for me and they all accomodated me. I keep a cooler of ice water and some towells in it to help get me through on those days that are too hot.

You will figure out what works best for you. We are all different as you know and learning our own personal limitations takes time and effort on our part.

I hope you can figure something out about your work situation. Nothing like being miserable while at work!

Take care,

198419 tn?1360242356
by sllowe, Feb 27, 2012
When you figure out why, do tell!
I do the same thing, and not only with my body, with cheese! Or cookies! Or a great bargain on shoes, lol!
All ends the same question, Why oh, why did I do this?!

198419 tn?1360242356
by sllowe, Feb 27, 2012
WAit a cotton pickin minute! I think I just solved the dilemma!

We do it because we "like" it, we do it if (and when) we "can" -- to he ll with consequences!

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