my time fighting the dragon Journals

48 week incivek Treatment Almost over

Apr 08, 2012 - 1 comments

I started my Treatment Friday May 13th 2011 I took my last interferon  shot Good Friday April 6 2012 and will take my last Riba pill Friday April 13, 2012.   Hmmm....  

Since I found out that I had HCV it became an obsession with me, studying it, thinking about it, worrying about it, etc.  I needed to try and take the opportunity to get rid of it.  

My 4week vl was questionable und or not so I ended up doing 48 weeks.   I became und somewhere between week 4 and 12.  What  a bunch of huey!  Those stupid VL tests have caused more anguish for many than the sx themselves!
  I wish that I could say that treatment was easier than it was for me.  I think I had most of the negative treatment sx for most of my treatment.   One thing that was never in danger for me was my WBC or ANC, so in that regard I have been lucky.  I suffered from severe anemia and have been on procrit since week 5.

In the same circumstances knowing what I know now, If I had the chance to do it again I would because I was stage 2, (I feel like that was questionable could have been a stage 3) over 50, no other major health problems, had a chance to be in an excellent dosing study with the incivek. ($$saved) .  I still spent a lot on all kinds helper drugs even with insurance.  I am a CT allele which really needs the DAA for extra lift in SVR chances,  Only working part time for myself as a caregiver to seniors. (go figure).  

Now, On the other hand, Right now,  I feel like this treatment has about ruined me physically and mentally.  At the end of treatment, I feel like an elderly woman, look like one, act like one.  Not that there is anything wrong with that but for a 53 year old  I feel like Ive lost 20 years.  Ive lost 20 lbs. lost half my hair,I can't hardly carry on a conversation(repeat my self over and over), cant think clearly, drive a car barely,  I have spurts of motivation but not long lasting.  I am very obsessive.  ocd about food, dirt,  I have grossed myself out so many times on treatment that I cant imagine. Even though I have a husband and two teenagers I did not have a great support system.  I feel like not being properly cared for when I needed it the most really exasperated the treatment difficulties. Hopefully I will be able to get past that resentment.

  I have had bi-polar episodes that make me go from very angry(rant), too happy, so sad (crying all the time). full of guilt, embarrassment, hatred, needy, I wonder if I will ever be normal again,  OMG!  What the hell is in this stuff that screws with the human body so severely!!!!

I feel rode hard and hung up wet!

I cant advise anyone to do this or not to do this but I would really think it thru and look at all the options so carefully.  Once you get started, just stopping is just not a good option unless a life threatening situation arises.   This is a HUGE commitment.  You have to be completely dedicated to this.  This can be very tough for many.  This is not for the faint of heart.  You better get ready for a fight! A real battle!  These meds are mega powerful! Have an array  of sx from  mild to severe.  Like I said, Some of them can be life threatening.   I just hope the researchers come out with something much better for treatment soon. .  I really had no idea what I was getting into.
I havnt had my 48 week VL test done.  Not sure when they do that.  Now as of this coming Friday I will play the SVR waiting game.  That is also a bunch of Huey.   I will be sooooo relieved when this is over.  

The only other thing I can say is, I wish everyone who decides to do the current treatment options all the best and mostly SVR!  

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1856494 tn?1340542614
by libzo2, Sep 04, 2012
Wow let me repeat that Wow.  I love how you put the truth right there in print backed by personal experience.  I love how you write.  I feel like you are speaking for me and so many others.  God luv you.  

The waiting game is like a deacceleration, a cool down period that we really need.  I don't think my brain will ever be the same.  I have lost my identity.  I don't know who the hell I am anymore.  Eeeee Gads  Rode hard and put away wet - just a beast of burdon that hasn't lived since I took my first shot.  I also hold a slight resentment because my family still expected me to be there as if I wasn't in the midst of the fight of my life.  Sheet it was hard to keep that frail two-faced smile on my face so they wouldn't be afraid or trample on my control issues being so weak and rageful, not an easy combination!!!  

I can relate Doll.  You are a hero in my book.  I bow to the great Warrior that you are and to your family for whom you gave an example of what a mother will do to continue to be their source of Love.  Yeay

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